! Stole this dudes tablet, he had it coming though.
Confession Session II
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Just so I'm not misunderstood, I don't mean I think you're a "fake agnostic," Pachylad. Agnostic theist, (how the term should actually be used btw), makes a lot more sense to me than actual atheists who just hide behind the label "agnostic" (NOT how it's mean to be used. Gnosticsm and theism are different metrics measuring different things. Agnostic is emphatically NOT atheist lite.) Most atheists who know about the subject would identify as agnostic atheist. (meaning they lack a belief in god but they also lack a certainty on the subject of god's potential existence. Like I don't presently believe there's a gorilla right by you [no reason to!] but I can't be certain there isn't one.)
I'm just ranting.
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I have quite a bit to say on the subject (naturally).
There are two main kinds of the oft-scorned "acerbic" atheists you see on places like r/atheism
a) The kind that are ultimately nothing more than callow douchebros. Typically teenagers who are discerning/bright enough to realize the intellectual merits of atheism, but haven't yet really experienced the gamut of the world's human beings enough to not paint with a broad brush. Of course this is also ego-stroking. They'll be the ones who call religion "a mental illness" and shit like that, and spend inordinate amounts of time making clever memes. They'll grow out of it. Then there are ones who never grow out of it because they really are just shitheels to the core, like, say, cough cough the Amazing Atheist cough cough. Also, a lot of these """""""""""freethinkers""""""""" also buy wholeheartedly into anti-feminist bullshit because they like being both superior and the "minority in the know."
b) The kind that have been LEGITIMATELY bruised by religion and have EVERY RIGHT to be bitter about it and express that bitterness freely. People whose lives have been ruined by petty legalism, by senseless strictures, by carefully maintained atmospheres of fear. People who need counseling to begin to heal from years and decades of being programmed to self-hampering guilt factories in the service of some man o' god fundie preacher's neverending need for personal power. Of course, you don't have to become an atheist after suffering licks from a bad religion (see the great and enlightening commenters on Stufffundieslike, the majority of whom are still evangelicals but have come to a much more sane perspective/way of life), but as you can hear on podcasts such as the fantastic Thinking Atheist, there's not exactly a paucity of people who have come out of religion feeling as though they've thrown off shackles on their minds. My own best friend here in Japan, an ex-Mormon who I've had post here, is only one of millions of examples.
I take issue, however, with finding so-called "evangelical atheism" (note the quotation marks of skepticism) to be more insufferable than conservative Christianity. I think that is a facile position. Let's not be facile.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" whose ideology is overtaking the American military. You know, that thing with the big scary murder instruments? Plus doom prophecies many are itching to see come true?
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's causing kids all over the country/world to commit suicide simply because they are human beings who can't be fit into insane, inane molds for inter-family Sunday church judgment competitions. See: Utah, the Zion of anti-depressants and passive aggression.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's retarded civil rights for centuries. Though you could thank all suspiciously self-serving dogmas, religious or otherwise, for that.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's literally brewed extremist terrorists in the country more than willing to kill abortion doctors and members of other faiths. And don't take that as Islamophobia–far from it, it's Christian terrorist bullies targeting innocent Muslims far more than it is the reverse. Just goes to show you that in the end it's all just identity politics, largely feeding off emotion.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's imprisoning, harming and downright murdering "apostates" and blasphemers all over the globe.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's propped up undeserving royal lineages who cast their inherited ruling over the mast majority of people on divine ordainment since the inception of specialization of labor.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that has allowed destructive cults to flourish. preying upon base psychological needs as opposed to fulfilling them.To the extent that any atheism could be called "evangelical" (ever see any atheists knocking at your door with tracts?), it's just not caused the same level of harm. Or, not presently. I suppose you could call Stalin and Mao "evangelical atheism" but as always there are extenuating circumstances (As they were unyielding dogmas based on ideology rather than actual facts, they could be called "religions" in their own right. Sounds like a shit-eating excuse? Well hey, I can't speak for egomaniacal mass murderers. Most atheism is not born of a Pol Pot-like hunger to smash religion into the ground). (Whatever we do, let us not delve into the always distasteful WHICH KILLED MORE, RELIGION OR STALIN debate that is the domain of Youtube). Typically, "atheism" isn't even a belief in itself that CAN be evangelized. It is merely the lack of a belief. It is the end result of free thought, like clicking the defrag feature of your brain.
If all of you fine folks will allow this humble man to be blunt, I find much of the winging over "omg r/atheism it's just another religion lololololol" to be nothing more than another self-congratulatory circlejerk. The only difference is that those people don't have the balls to call themselves what they actually are. You're not agnostic. You're not constantly tearing your hair out wondering and shredding your finery wondering, could it be, is GOD really for real!? UGH, I JUST CAN'T BE SURE! You live as though God doesn't exist, you don't pray to a God that might be there, you're a goddamned atheist. And don't give me that oh, but God is really the UNIVERSE!! twaddle. You're a goddamn atheist and just won't admit it for fear. I respect those who field strong convictions if they are rationally based, and that includes rational theists. What I can't stand are spineless fence-sitters who have all the information in the world at their fingertips and yet are content not to form a real opinion one way or the other about, you know, kind of the most important question there is, because, and let's be honest here, they're actually just comfortable with the conflict-averse "middle position." The complacent.
I'm not saying these things about you, this is the general you, as in I'm saying it's those people who are neither me nor you nor anyone in this thread but we can all agree are those assholes, haha. As you can see, it's something I feel strongly about. If I didn't, I wouldn't bother having an atheist humor podcast.
Let it be said that my interest in the topic is mostly academic; while I say it like I think it is, I more than acknowledge that I'm more detached than, say, some poor shmuck whose SO divorced him/her and took the kids because he came out of the closet. My base personality is that of a boundary-pushing joker. Hence "gliblord." Personally, I just talk about shit that catches my fancy and that I can wring a few yucks out of (along with my cohost of course). You can judge my character accordingly. I think I'm pretty funny, and I wouldn't kick a random old lady in the shin at a crosswalk, but I'm not going to be winning any Nobel Peace prizes any time soon.
Also, Rationalwiki is badass and awesome. I love surfing RW as well.
I hear ya' bro. Though I gotta say I don't really get much flack for being an atheist where I live. Massachusetts isn't the most religious of states. Don't really agree with your opinions on Rationalwiki though.
As for r/atheism? Even I make fedora/euphoric jokes about the worst of them; they're idiots who deserve to be mocked. Just like the ugly side of tumblr, who's campaigns for "social justice" either end in knee slapping hilarity or complete facepalm.
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What does one call someone who doesn't subscribe to a god, but believes there's something at play? ….
but if I could elaborate
[hide]I myself got turned off by the idea of really following a god…..kinda on my own I guess? I actually intended church and related school when I was younger, but eventually my family and I just stopped going. None of us are very religious people.But at funerals and graves, we have prayed....it's odd. This might sound very petty, but I feel a little troubled in following the idea of a all-knowing, all-seeing good God when I read about so many heinous crimes every day. And there's also all the violence and terror inspired by zealous religious believers, which is VERY unfortunate.
However, I don't let it cloud my judgement. I respect someone's religious beliefs, and I do find many aspects of Judaism and Islam to be very fascinating.
But for ME personally.....I don't really know. My life just runs independently of it all. Do I believe in an afterlife? I do. Do I believe in Jesus and resurrection and things like that? You're asking the wrong person.[/hide]
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Oh dear, the atheist Kraken Gliblord has been releaed! .___.
Hah, I kid, I kid! I appreciate your rant there, Glib, and totally sympathise with your stance on this whole atheism thing. Religion's definitely in a sticky situation in current situation - you give indeed salient points on why atheists can get annoyed with religion's "favorite child" status (tax exemption status for religious institutions, majority populations in countries across the globe identifying as religious, the stigma against atheism and all those other points you mentioned) let alone like you've already mentioned all the heinous acts committed "in the name of God" or somewhere along such faultlines.
I mentioned already having been raised in a conservative Christian household and some of the stuff I hear daily is grating for a "liberal black sheep" (lol) like me - stuff like DEFENDING ASIAN FAMILY VALUES (say it together with me - urrrrrrrrrrrrrgh). I can thus see, with some of my close friends even!, why many of those bruised by religion's hurts (as you yourself have pointed out) fall into this "new Atheism" movement. I apologise for the broad generalisation in the initial post; it was meant to be less a snipe against you folks and more a rationalisation for my theist agnosticism.
Oh, and FWIW Glib I only mentioned your name rather indiscreetly because you've struck me as the "resident atheist guy", y'know? I sometimes see you doing academic discussion/analysis of religion/secularism/atheism in some of the threads on the Park, to say nothing of the fact that your atheist podcast is advertised (quite beautifully - if I may say so myself! ;3) in your signature.
We cool? No beef?
(yeah RW is awesome - but I usually go to it for snark-filled left-wing commentary rather than Wikipedia-esque research, na'mean?)
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If all of you fine folks will allow this humble man to be blunt, I find much of the winging over "omg r/atheism it's just another religion lololololol" to be nothing more than another self-congratulatory circlejerk. The only difference is that those people don't have the balls to call themselves what they actually are. You're not agnostic. You're not constantly tearing your hair out wondering and shredding your finery wondering, could it be, is GOD really for real!? UGH, I JUST CAN'T BE SURE! You live as though God doesn't exist, you don't pray to a God that might be there, you're a goddamned atheist. And don't give me that oh, but God is really the UNIVERSE!! twaddle. You're a goddamn atheist and just won't admit it for fear. I respect those who field strong convictions if they are rationally based, and that includes rational theists. What I can't stand are spineless fence-sitters who have all the information in the world at their fingertips and yet are content not to form a real opinion one way or the other about, you know, kind of the most important question there is, because, and let's be honest here, they're actually just comfortable with the conflict-averse "middle position." The complacent.
I'm not saying these things about you, this is the general you, as in I'm saying it's those people who are neither me nor you nor anyone in this thread but we can all agree are those assholes, haha. As you can see, it's something I feel strongly about. If I didn't, I wouldn't bother having an atheist humor podcast.
Let it be said that my interest in the topic is mostly academic; while I say it like I think it is, I more than acknowledge that I'm more detached than, say, some poor shmuck whose SO divorced him/her and took the kids because he came out of the closet. My base personality is that of a boundary-pushing joker. Hence "gliblord." Personally, I just talk about shit that catches my fancy and that I can wring a few yucks out of (along with my cohost of course). You can judge my character accordingly. I think I'm pretty funny, and I wouldn't kick a random old lady in the shin at a crosswalk, but I'm not going to be winning any Nobel Peace prizes any time soon.
Also, Rationalwiki is badass and awesome. I love surfing RW as well.
Why do you insult agnostics; we are basically on your side. Just because there is absolutely no tangible evidence there is a higher being doesn't mean there isn't one. And I will stick to this conviction. You act like its spineless for me to live my life not denying nor accepting there being a higher being, but I simply can't see how. That said, I still consider myself an atheist even though identify as an agnostic, primarily because atheist is an apt definition of my religious beliefs: there is no god in my life. Just because I don't deny there is one doesn't make that any different. I can't say I'm as Glib as you, but whatever, this is my honest opinion.
EDIT: I guess you could say I am better described as an agnostic atheist.
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What does one call someone who doesn't subscribe to a god, but believes there's something at play?
Agnostic theist?
The question of how God can be good when the world has so much suffering is really old, I think it's called the Theodicé problem. The apologetic works of C.S. Lewis, such as The Problem of Pain, might answer some of your questions.
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Agnostic theist?
The question of how God can be good when the world has so much suffering is really old, I think it's called the Theodicé problem. The apologetic works of C.S. Lewis, such as The Problem of Pain, might answer some of your questions.
I've heard that label thrown around before.
Interesting….actually my philosophy class brought up this topic, with the free will, retribution, moral character development, and natural evil arguments. I found it all to be very engaging.
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I've heard that label thrown around before.
Interesting….actually my philosophy class brought up this topic, with the free will, retribution, moral character development, and natural evil arguments. I found it all to be very engaging.
A lot of people these days also identify as "spiritual but not religious", but it has a pretty hipster vibe to it I find.
And those are all really interesting topics to debate. I'm a Christian from an atheist/agnostic family in a very secular country so my situation is kind of the opposite of Pachylad's. (It's been a pretty big struggle)
Anyway, on-topic:
! Eight-nine years ago I was severely bullied by around 60 people (the three classes in my year in 7th grade). I had been picked on for many years before that, but this particular year was infernal and marked the start of my mental downhill. For some reason everything about me, everything I did was hilarious to these people, and every time I made a mistake I could hear people giggling and whispering (but if someone else made the same mistake they'd usually let it slide). People would often act friendly to me thinking I was too dumb to notice, while spreading rumors about me and my family (in fact, for a while I started to hate my family). They used to harass my younger brother who attended the same school as me with questions about my personal life and reacted to even the most mundane piece of trivia about me like it was breaking news. I transferred to another school after the summer break that year, and it really felt like escaping from a prison, and I was eventually put on medication for severe paranoia.
! These people would occasionally pester me for a few years after that, and they still do whenever they see me. I'm trying to forgive and forget but it does make me angry that they seem completely oblivious to the damage they've caused even after all these years.
! I just felt like sharing a part of my story. Has anyone had any similar experiences? -
e)
Anyway, on-topic:
! I just felt like sharing a part of my story. Has anyone had any similar experiences?
! How awful….why did so many people bully you? ..I know that a lot of people bully because of their own personal hang-ups or they don't realize what ramifications they can cause, but that number....!
! I did have a similar experience, but on a smaller scale. 6th grade was the worst time of my life. In a new school, new way of going about the day (periods and such), and I didn't see my brother often, and we were in nearly every year together back in elementary school.
! I had a nasty bully problem myself, and I still remember the name of this one in particular. I....despised him. He would harass me, take off my glasses and throw them to the ground....one horrible day, and I will never forget this, my brother and I were walking home. Apparently, he followed us. I wanted to run but my brother refused....he fended off the bully and I just standed there, cowering in fear. The bully was targeting me, not him. And he protected me. He....he's technically younger for crying out loud.
! To this day, I still feel guilt for my actions, but I never understood why that bully was so hateful to me. What did I do? Why? I actually developed some paranoia myself, making me nervous to even go to school. He was transferred out a few days later.....but some scars don't heal.
! If I ever see that bully again in my life, I won't react with violence. I'll just ask "why?"
! It's why I dislike being rude or abrasive on internet forums and stuff. No one deserves being harassed or feeling like they're being tortured. -
! How awful….why did so many people bully you? ..I know that a lot of people bully because of their own personal hang-ups or they don't realize what ramifications they can cause, but that number....!
! I did have a similar experience, but on a smaller scale. 6th grade was the worst time of my life. In a new school, new way of going about the day (periods and such), and I didn't see my brother often, and we were in nearly every year together back in elementary school.
! I had a nasty bully problem myself, and I still remember the name of this one in particular. I....despised him. He would harass me, take off my glasses and throw them to the ground....one horrible day, and I will never forget this, my brother and I were walking home. Apparently, he followed us. I wanted to run but my brother refused....he fended off the bully and I just standed there, cowering in fear. The bully was targeting me, not him. And he protected me. He....he's technically younger for crying out loud.
! To this day, I still feel guilt for my actions, but I never understood why that bully was so hateful to me. What did I do? Why? I actually developed some paranoia myself, making me nervous to even go to school. He was transferred out a few days later.....but some scars don't heal.
! If I ever see that bully again in my life, I won't react with violence. I'll just ask "why?"
! It's why I dislike being rude or abrasive on internet forums and stuff. No one deserves being harassed or feeling like they're being tortured.! Some stuff I should have mentioned: I often made an ass out of myself that particular year (I changed from "that quiet weird guy" to "that annoying weird guy" because I really wanted to be popular just once, and in my new school I went back to being quiet), and not all 60 of them consistently bulIied me but yeah, almost everyone did at some point or another. It was rather confusing.
! I think kids in general but especially kids in their early teens are very determined to seem strong in front of others, sometimes out of insecurities/personal problems like you said and sometimes due to bad parenting. Most of them probably don't even consider that what they perceive as harmless fun can leave the victim with scars that still hurt decades later.
! I'm sorry to hear how you were treated, that must hurt. That's also a pretty noble attitude towards internet harassment you have. Sadly I have sometimes used web forums and image boards to get out my aggressions (but not on APF as far as I can remember save for a snide remark here or there), though I often regret how I've acted. -
! It's why I dislike being rude or abrasive on internet forums and stuff. No one deserves being harassed or feeling like they're being tortured.
! I feel exactly the same way.
I always strive to be the kindest person I can be (naturally of course), and make friends with anyone who interacts with me.
I feel like this positivity is what has helped me gain over 5800 subs on youtube so far. -
! Some stuff I should have mentioned: I often made an ass out of myself that particular year (I changed from "that quiet weird guy" to "that annoying weird guy" because I really wanted to be popular just once, and in my new school I went back to being quiet), and not all 60 of them consistently bulIied me but yeah, almost everyone did at some point or another. It was rather confusing.
! I think kids in general but especially kids in their early teens are very determined to seem strong in front of others, sometimes out of insecurities/personal problems like you said and sometimes due to bad parenting. Most of them probably don't even consider that what they perceive as harmless fun can leave the victim with scars that still hurt decades later.
! I'm sorry to hear how you were treated, that must hurt. That's also a pretty noble attitude towards internet harassment you have. Sadly I have sometimes used web forums and image boards to get out my aggressions (but not on APF as far as I can remember save for a snide remark here or there), though I often regret how I've acted.! oh I see….I myself wanted to be popular, and I think things really started to look up by the 8th grade. In 7th grade, I actually had a bit of a transformation....at some point, I decided I did not to be bullied again. So y'know, pick up slang, try out curse words....I did what I could.
! I do regret that I teased this one kid in our class. From Moracco or something, and he was more versed in French than in English. The kids were very mean, but he wasn't exactly the nicest person ever. Looking back, I wonder if his middle school experience changed him in a negative way.....? It certainly changed me, and even though I met one of my closest friends and teachers there, middle school was an awful experience for me.
! But again, I wanted to step up for myself, yet I didn't resort to being a bully myself. When I got into high school, things were pretty chill, and most of the shit I talked was just me and my friends screwing with each other.
! Don't feel so bad about you did, either. Everyone has different ways of calming or channeling their anger and resentment. If I didn't have stuff like video games and manga to make happy, I might've snapped or something years ago. I tend to have really high anxiety issues.But the bullying in high school took an interesting turn….?
! Well these two kids, for some reason, started harassing me because I was Jewish. Only I'm not, and I have no idea where they even got that impression. Stuff like "where's your hat" and Hitler/Nazi references. It was fucked up.
! I think one of them thought I was gay and gave me flak too. Like WTH? -
Why are you guys writing in spoilers? :blink: OK I'll do it as well XD
! I think wanting to be popular or social can be a trigger for some to start bullying someone else?
I always found it weird that no bullying had any impact on me, nor I have been victim of a major one.
! I have been made fun of just because of the guy I had crush on, which was the hardest one to cope with, I think? However, few things need to be taken note of.
1st: that guy was often made fun of himself, because of his goofy and annoying nature, kind of carefree guy who joked very badly too XD
2nd: I did really act as a fool, because I didn't knew the guy at all and seemed and acted really in a really annoying way sometimes.
3rd: Nothing was too offensive, and I am even in good terms with people who did it.
! As for other things, I don't remember anything offensive being done in front of my face. Maybe a lot of people gossiped about me, but nothing like that bothered me.
Also I don't think I have seen much bullying unless someone was really different or something. Though I know some unfairness too but anyways
Maybe my nature has helped, cause I always get to know few people, even on the internet, and stay close with them, while not caring much about the others XD I dunno how good it is, but at least it's comfortable. -
I have quite a bit to say on the subject (naturally).
There are two main kinds of the oft-scorned "acerbic" atheists you see on places like r/atheism
a) The kind that are ultimately nothing more than callow douchebros. Typically teenagers who are discerning/bright enough to realize the intellectual merits of atheism, but haven't yet really experienced the gamut of the world's human beings enough to not paint with a broad brush. Of course this is also ego-stroking. They'll be the ones who call religion "a mental illness" and shit like that, and spend inordinate amounts of time making clever memes. They'll grow out of it. Then there are ones who never grow out of it because they really are just shitheels to the core, like, say, cough cough the Amazing Atheist cough cough. Also, a lot of these """""""""""freethinkers""""""""" also buy wholeheartedly into anti-feminist bullshit because they like being both superior and the "minority in the know."
b) The kind that have been LEGITIMATELY bruised by religion and have EVERY RIGHT to be bitter about it and express that bitterness freely. People whose lives have been ruined by petty legalism, by senseless strictures, by carefully maintained atmospheres of fear. People who need counseling to begin to heal from years and decades of being programmed to self-hampering guilt factories in the service of some man o' god fundie preacher's neverending need for personal power. Of course, you don't have to become an atheist after suffering licks from a bad religion (see the great and enlightening commenters on Stufffundieslike, the majority of whom are still evangelicals but have come to a much more sane perspective/way of life), but as you can hear on podcasts such as the fantastic Thinking Atheist, there's not exactly a paucity of people who have come out of religion feeling as though they've thrown off shackles on their minds. My own best friend here in Japan, an ex-Mormon who I've had post here, is only one of millions of examples.
I take issue, however, with finding so-called "evangelical atheism" (note the quotation marks of skepticism) to be more insufferable than conservative Christianity. I think that is a facile position. Let's not be facile.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" whose ideology is overtaking the American military. You know, that thing with the big scary murder instruments? Plus doom prophecies many are itching to see come true?
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's causing kids all over the country/world to commit suicide simply because they are human beings who can't be fit into insane, inane molds for inter-family Sunday church judgment competitions. See: Utah, the Zion of anti-depressants and passive aggression.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's retarded civil rights for centuries. Though you could thank all suspiciously self-serving dogmas, religious or otherwise, for that.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's literally brewed extremist terrorists in the country more than willing to kill abortion doctors and members of other faiths. And don't take that as Islamophobia–far from it, it's Christian terrorist bullies targeting innocent Muslims far more than it is the reverse. Just goes to show you that in the end it's all just identity politics, largely feeding off emotion.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's imprisoning, harming and downright murdering "apostates" and blasphemers all over the globe.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's propped up undeserving royal lineages who cast their inherited ruling over the mast majority of people on divine ordainment since the inception of specialization of labor.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that has allowed destructive cults to flourish. preying upon base psychological needs as opposed to fulfilling them.To the extent that any atheism could be called "evangelical" (ever see any atheists knocking at your door with tracts?), it's just not caused the same level of harm. Or, not presently. I suppose you could call Stalin and Mao "evangelical atheism" but as always there are extenuating circumstances (As they were unyielding dogmas based on ideology rather than actual facts, they could be called "religions" in their own right. Sounds like a shit-eating excuse? Well hey, I can't speak for egomaniacal mass murderers. Most atheism is not born of a Pol Pot-like hunger to smash religion into the ground). (Whatever we do, let us not delve into the always distasteful WHICH KILLED MORE, RELIGION OR STALIN debate that is the domain of Youtube). Typically, "atheism" isn't even a belief in itself that CAN be evangelized. It is merely the lack of a belief. It is the end result of free thought, like clicking the defrag feature of your brain.
If all of you fine folks will allow this humble man to be blunt, I find much of the winging over "omg r/atheism it's just another religion lololololol" to be nothing more than another self-congratulatory circlejerk. The only difference is that those people don't have the balls to call themselves what they actually are. You're not agnostic. You're not constantly tearing your hair out wondering and shredding your finery wondering, could it be, is GOD really for real!? UGH, I JUST CAN'T BE SURE! You live as though God doesn't exist, you don't pray to a God that might be there, you're a goddamned atheist. And don't give me that oh, but God is really the UNIVERSE!! twaddle. You're a goddamn atheist and just won't admit it for fear. I respect those who field strong convictions if they are rationally based, and that includes rational theists. What I can't stand are spineless fence-sitters who have all the information in the world at their fingertips and yet are content not to form a real opinion one way or the other about, you know, kind of the most important question there is, because, and let's be honest here, they're actually just comfortable with the conflict-averse "middle position." The complacent.
I'm not saying these things about you, this is the general you, as in I'm saying it's those people who are neither me nor you nor anyone in this thread but we can all agree are those assholes, haha. As you can see, it's something I feel strongly about. If I didn't, I wouldn't bother having an atheist humor podcast.
Let it be said that my interest in the topic is mostly academic; while I say it like I think it is, I more than acknowledge that I'm more detached than, say, some poor shmuck whose SO divorced him/her and took the kids because he came out of the closet. My base personality is that of a boundary-pushing joker. Hence "gliblord." Personally, I just talk about shit that catches my fancy and that I can wring a few yucks out of (along with my cohost of course). You can judge my character accordingly. I think I'm pretty funny, and I wouldn't kick a random old lady in the shin at a crosswalk, but I'm not going to be winning any Nobel Peace prizes any time soon.
Also, Rationalwiki is badass and awesome. I love surfing RW as well.
Evangelical Atheists still suck because they're stupid sectarian morons. They don't have to be as bad or influential as Evangelical Christians to be also stupid sectarian morons.
Also trying to build up a completely invisible (lack of a) ideology based minority status as if it were like race and gender stuff is absurd.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's causing kids all over the country/world to commit suicide simply because they are human beings who can't be fit into insane, inane molds for inter-family Sunday church judgment competitions. See: Utah, the Zion of anti-depressants and passive aggression.
Please tell me you have some actual basis to build up closeted atheism to being like a closeted gay teen. One thing a largely irrelevant point of view, the other a fundamental characterization of one of several human instincts and life experiences?
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's retarded civil rights for centuries. Though you could thank all suspiciously self-serving dogmas, religious or otherwise, for that.
A large variety of random things used by power bases to rile up the masses and gain power have been. Including atheism. This is a dumb thing to say.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's literally brewed extremist terrorists in the country more than willing to kill abortion doctors and members of other faiths. And don't take that as Islamophobia–far from it, it's Christian terrorist bullies targeting innocent Muslims far more than it is the reverse. Just goes to show you that in the end it's all just identity politics, largely feeding off emotion.
Yeah except on the basis of numbers you're basically justifying Islamophobia. it's the same stupid logic.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's imprisoning, harming and downright murdering "apostates" and blasphemers all over the globe.
Um, actually it kind of was and is in Communist countries lol.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that's propped up undeserving royal lineages who cast their inherited ruling over the mast majority of people on divine ordainment since the inception of specialization of labor.
This is getting extremely stupid lol.
*It ain't "evangelical atheism" that has allowed destructive cults to flourish. preying upon base psychological needs as opposed to fulfilling them.
Allow me to bring up Communism again.
To the extent that any atheism could be called "evangelical" (ever see any atheists knocking at your door with tracts?),
In the sense of annoying smug pricks who act like they just discovered the holy grail and have replaced their former vapid empty fanatacism with another? Well yes the internet and youth seem quite full of this.
it's just not caused the same level of harm.
Who said it did.
I suppose you could call Stalin and Mao "evangelical atheism" but as always there are extenuating circumstances
The USSR and Communist China. Just minor exceptions.
(As they were unyielding dogmas based on ideology rather than actual facts, they could be called "religions" in their own right. Sounds like a shit-eating excuse? Well hey, I can't speak for egomaniacal mass murderers. Most atheism is not born of a Pol Pot-like hunger to smash religion into the ground).
Wow you came close to identifying the real problem here for a second.
(Whatever we do, let us not delve into the always distasteful WHICH KILLED MORE, RELIGION OR STALIN debate that is the domain of Youtube).
That's exactly what you're doing.
Typically, "atheism" isn't even a belief in itself that CAN be evangelized.
Of course it can.
It is merely the lack of a belief. It is the end result of free thought, like clicking the defrag feature of your brain.
See look at this dumbassed dogmatic thought process right here for example. The makings of a rigid simplistic rule system in the works.
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
Why do you insult agnostics; we are basically on your side. Just because there is absolutely no tangible evidence there is a higher being doesn't mean there isn't one. And I will stick to this conviction. You act like its spineless for me to live my life not denying nor accepting there being a higher being, but I simply can't see how. That said, I still consider myself an atheist even though identify as an agnostic, primarily because atheist is an apt definition of my religious beliefs: there is no god in my life. Just because I don't deny there is one doesn't make that any different. I can't say I'm as Glib as you, but whatever, this is my honest opinion.
EDIT: I guess you could say I am better described as an agnostic atheist.
Moderates will flush the revolution down the toilet! Either identify with us way over here or you are the enemy of the Thing! It's either black or white!
Oh by the way we're not capable of pigheaded dogmatism.–- Update From New Post Merge ---
A lot of people these days also identify as "spiritual but not religious", but it has a pretty hipster vibe to it I find.
It's people taking their religion into a more personal sphere rather than the more social one. It's been de facto the case for most people in some countries and regions for decades before it found a name.
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@Monkey:
Evangelical Atheists still suck because they're stupid sectarian morons. They don't have to be as bad or influential as Evangelical Christians to be also stupid sectarian morons.
Also trying to build up a completely invisible (lack of a) ideology based minority status as if it were like race and gender stuff is absurd.
Please tell me you have some actual basis to build up closeted atheism to being like a closeted gay teen. One thing a largely irrelevant point of view, the other a fundamental characterization of one of several human instincts and life experiences?
A large variety of random things used by power bases to rile up the masses and gain power have been. Including atheism. This is a dumb thing to say.
Yeah except on the basis of numbers you're basically justifying Islamophobia. it's the same stupid logic.
Um, actually it kind of was and is in Communist countries lol.
This is getting extremely stupid lol.
Allow me to bring up Communism again.
In the sense of annoying smug pricks who act like they just discovered the holy grail and have replaced their former vapid empty fanatacism with another? Well yes the internet and youth seem quite full of this.
Who said it did.
The USSR and Communist China. Just minor exceptions.
Wow you came close to identifying the real problem here for a second.
That's exactly what you're doing.
Of course it can.
See look at this dumbassed dogmatic thought process right here for example. The makings of a rigid simplistic rule system in the works.
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
Moderates will flush the revolution down the toilet! Either identify with us way over here or you are the enemy of the Thing! It's either black or white!
Oh by the way we're not capable of pigheaded dogmatism.--- Update From New Post Merge ---
It's people taking their religion into a more personal sphere rather than the more social one. It's been de facto the case for most people in some countries and regions for decades before it found a name.
I concede your point that "atheism" as such can be and has been wielded as a stick, by Stalin and his ilk etc. etc. etc. I've heard decent debates on both sides of the issue ("was it really atheism if it was also tied in with a bunch of other barely related ideological linchpins, isn't that just a godless religion in a way" being the main thrust of one side of the argument). In any case, just so long as we're not drawing any false equivalencies re the scope of "evangelical atheism" (which most atheists have no interest in; much like herding cats, it's a bit tough to even get the more mature majority to agree on much, they're not as politically groupable) with the impact of theistic religion on the world, then I'm happy.
I have no desire to fight with you, Zeph, nor anyone here. I hate fighting. It makes me antsy for days. And I acknowledge you have solid points. My position is one of intellectual honesty; emotionally speaking I have no dog in this race. If I were to be disabused of the things I came to understand I would change my notions accordingly, although obviously not without some very human licking of the small wounds to my ego.
The thing you said that riles me though is that bit about how coming out as atheist in incomparable to coming out as gay, trans etc. Don't belittle the very real struggles of people born to families whose knee-jerk reaction to the mere label of "atheist" is disowning. "Atheist" is still the most stigmatized label according to election polling, below even hardened criminals. The image carries with it connotations of total amorality in large swaths of the country. Calling yourself an atheist in, say, Manhattan is little to worry about for the most part. Calling yourself what you are–an atheist--in, say, Kansas is social suicide. It is treated as a complete rejection of the bedrock assumptions of the whole culture. Going "Dad, I just don't believe" comes across as "Dad, I repudiate everything you drilled into me to hold sacred and I'm going to hell." In that way many have intimated that coming out as atheist is even more of an unwittingly pariah-making slap in the face than coming out as gay, where there's more of a "sinner that can be saved" thought line in the public consciousness of Americonservagelicalism. Though there is allowance for your own kids ("they'll come back to the fold, you'll see the light again!") Atheism has yet to reach that point. If you don't think it's the same, go ask the countless numbers of people who have suffered in silent anguish, whose only outlet is places like r/atheism or r/exmormon or The Thinking Atheist. It's exhausting to be reviled whether you're reviled and bullied and negated as a person for being gay or for simply not believing.
Myself, I'm hardly a vociferous culture warrior. My extended family say stupid bullshit all the time and I have to keep from tearing them to shreds to keep bridges unburnt. I'm of the conviction that these things are changing naturally with the young generation. While there's something to be said for the power in coming out as an atheist in those communities and actively demonstrating you're not in love with unscrewing the heads off of helpless infants, for the most part it's not something that NEEDS evangelism simply because agnostic-atheism as a conclusion of freethought shines through its own merits. The numbers reflect that.
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
As an addendum, when it comes to dressing down the annoying loudmouthed louts of the internet-atheism/skepticism spheres, I'm right there with you, my friend. They make just as satisfying sport for the satirist.
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Honestly, even in a very liberal area like mine, I still feel horribly awkward when the question of religion is raised because I feel like if I say outright that I am an atheist I will somehow be considered immoral and against family values. I'll usually say something like "I wasn't raised religious," but it annoys me to have to tiptoe around religion so much when I've done nothing wrong. Granted, I have all sorts of assumptions about religious people so they should be allowed to think whatever they want about me, but I really hope atheism can become less stigmatized with time. 'Militant atheism' doesn't exactly help with that but I can see the need for a rational movement in a lot of places in the world and in a time when it's politically convenient to say we have to respect everyone's beliefs even when they are factually incorrect and potentially harmful.
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Hi. Long time no see huh? Well, I am afraid I came here to let out some dark/sad/upset thoughts before I go insane with grief since this thread has always been a great relief.
! My dad was recently diagnosed with lung cancer, apparently metastatic.
! He finished radiation therapy last week and is starting chemo this Friday.
! And I feel like I am drowning in grief and panic and I am willing time, the illness, my thoughts anything to just slow down for a bit.
My green card hasn't arrived yet but I can still apply for a permit to travel, though I can't really since my current employer doesn't allow me to take off and especially for an extended period of time. And the permit doesn't allow for extended travel periods either so it's not like I could up and go for months like I'd like to.
! It just feels so unfair. This had to happen less than a year I moved away from Cyprus, didn't it? Just so it wouldn't be easy for me to just up and go back and spend a few months with him. I don't know when I am going to see my dad again and how well he will be when I do manage to visit. My only other personal experience with cancer, was with my grandmother who passed away a year after her diagnosis and though her death STILL hurts, the fact that I at least spent so much time with her up to her last breath, was always like a soothing salve on the wound. And I fear that if things go bad for my dad, I won't have that little consolation that everyone else in my family will have.
! Nearly lost my mother 3 years ago (operation went very, very bad), dad got into a traffic accident as a passenger that basically cost him an arm and a leg a year and a half later (shoulder bone down until elbow completely shattered and he will eventually lose total control over it - hip bone popped out and it'll never be the same again) and now this. It's like my parents don't get a break. It's shitty and unfair and it's just getting so hard to keep my calm.
I am trying to keep hope, keep telling myself it'll be alright that medicine is so advanced now, but that nagging voice in the back of my head is telling me that it won't. That he will not get better and that the next time I lay my eyes on him, he will be either at death's door or in a coffin. It's driving me crazy and the guilt is eating me away. That it's my fault I won't get to spend precious time with him because I was oh so impatient to start living my life with my other half and this is my punishment for it. Can't expect to have everything now, can we?
! I am 26. I don't want to lose my dad. Is that too much to ask for?Omfg Chrissieeeeee ;A;
[hide] If you can find out that taking an extended leave DOESN'T void your green card and ultimately citizenship, go. Fuck the job. I'm guessing that without your job, there's not enough money to pay the rent. I hope I don't sound douchey, but maybe your husband can see if it's possible to stay with family while you go be with your dad for what might possibly be the last few months of his life. There's honestly no telling. Some people with lung cancer, with the disease responding to treatment and an optimal diet, live for years before they go under. Some only live weeks or months. Everyone is different, but there ARE people who have responded to treatment, even when it's metastasized, and end up getting many more years of life. I've known people personally that got many more years of life than they were ever expected to, to people who succumbed rather quickly. Proper diet DOES help A LOT (the science behind this is AMAZING and it's worth looking into).
I would do that in an instant if I had a significant other in the same situation, or I would find someone to room with in the interim. I'm forever grateful I got to spend the last year of my grandmother's life living with her. I'm going to be fucked up over her death for the rest of my life, but getting to spend so much quality time with her in the final year made all the difference in tying up bumpy spots in our relationship, and just getting to spend all that time with the person who was the most important person in my life up to that point (and still is). I'm crying now DX
I can understand if that would put your husband in a tough position and this is why you may resist. It's definitely something you two need to talk about. It's easy for me to say after watching the most important person to me die, and not everyone can relate to that experience. I definitely do not mean any of this as being douchey and saying "fuck responsibilities! do what you want!" but when your family members are gone, they're gone. And that hole will never be replaced.
PLEASE reconsider visiting the local immigration office and speak to someone in depth about what's going on and hopefully they can find a way to help you. There HAS to be a condition under extenuating circumstances, like the illness of an immediate family member that will allow you SOME decent amount of time to spend with your dad. They can't be totally stone-wall like that in emergency cases.
[/hide] -
Honestly, even in a very liberal area like mine, I still feel horribly awkward when the question of religion is raised because I feel like if I say outright that I am an atheist I will somehow be considered immoral and against family values. I'll usually say something like "I wasn't raised religious," but it annoys me to have to tiptoe around religion so much when I've done nothing wrong. Granted, I have all sorts of assumptions about religious people so they should be allowed to think whatever they want about me, but I really hope atheism can become less stigmatized with time. 'Militant atheism' doesn't exactly help with that but I can see the need for a rational movement in a lot of places in the world and in a time when it's politically convenient to say we have to respect everyone's beliefs even when they are factually incorrect and potentially harmful.
Yeah people on all points on the religion/spirituality spectrum seem to be quick to judge in some form or another. My usual strategy is to tell people that I was raised Jewish but that I'm not personally religious.
And I have no interest in trying to convince people of the non-existence of a god etc, as long as they don't have an interest in convincing me that there is.
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Once everybody (or at least a good majority of the human race) realises that religious belief is like a penis - it's alright to have it, alright not to have it and alright to have doubts about whether or not you should have it; don't make a big deal about it and whip it out in the public arena (unless under certain circumstances) and MOST IMPORTANTLY DON'T FORCE IT DOWN CHILDREN'S THROATS - the world will be a better place.
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And that was a totally necessary comparison. @_@
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So lets see… I just got confessed by someone that he was interested in me. The problem is we are of the same gender and I am not gay. This would be a minor issue if despite me insisting he didn't decide I was bisexual and keeps on explaining to be how we are going to end up together. It may be a minor disturbance since it's simply texting but it's still irritating to have someone insist so much when you already clarify the situation. It's not really that important but the experience was surprising to me and I needed to share somehow...
For context: I'm neither gay or homophobic. We both come from country where being gay is bad. He used to hang out at my school back in our home country and is a friend of a friend.
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I concede your point that "atheism" as such can be and has been wielded as a stick, by Stalin and his ilk etc. etc. etc. I've heard decent debates on both sides of the issue ("was it really atheism if it was also tied in with a bunch of other barely related ideological linchpins, isn't that just a godless religion in a way" being the main thrust of one side of the argument). In any case, just so long as we're not drawing any false equivalencies re the scope of "evangelical atheism" (which most atheists have no interest in; much like herding cats, it's a bit tough to even get the more mature majority to agree on much, they're not as politically groupable) with the impact of theistic religion on the world, then I'm happy.
I have no desire to fight with you, Zeph, nor anyone here. I hate fighting. It makes me antsy for days. And I acknowledge you have solid points. My position is one of intellectual honesty; emotionally speaking I have no dog in this race. If I were to be disabused of the things I came to understand I would change my notions accordingly, although obviously not without some very human licking of the small wounds to my ego.
The thing you said that riles me though is that bit about how coming out as atheist in incomparable to coming out as gay, trans etc. Don't belittle the very real struggles of people born to families whose knee-jerk reaction to the mere label of "atheist" is disowning. "Atheist" is still the most stigmatized label according to election polling, below even hardened criminals. The image carries with it connotations of total amorality in large swaths of the country. Calling yourself an atheist in, say, Manhattan is little to worry about for the most part. Calling yourself what you are–an atheist--in, say, Kansas is social suicide. It is treated as a complete rejection of the bedrock assumptions of the whole culture. Going "Dad, I just don't believe" comes across as "Dad, I repudiate everything you drilled into me to hold sacred and I'm going to hell." In that way many have intimated that coming out as atheist is even more of an unwittingly pariah-making slap in the face than coming out as gay, where there's more of a "sinner that can be saved" thought line in the public consciousness of Americonservagelicalism. Though there is allowance for your own kids ("they'll come back to the fold, you'll see the light again!") Atheism has yet to reach that point. If you don't think it's the same, go ask the countless numbers of people who have suffered in silent anguish, whose only outlet is places like r/atheism or r/exmormon or The Thinking Atheist. It's exhausting to be reviled whether you're reviled and bullied and negated as a person for being gay or for simply not believing.
Myself, I'm hardly a vociferous culture warrior. My extended family say stupid bullshit all the time and I have to keep from tearing them to shreds to keep bridges unburnt. I'm of the conviction that these things are changing naturally with the young generation. While there's something to be said for the power in coming out as an atheist in those communities and actively demonstrating you're not in love with unscrewing the heads off of helpless infants, for the most part it's not something that NEEDS evangelism simply because agnostic-atheism as a conclusion of freethought shines through its own merits. The numbers reflect that.
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
As an addendum, when it comes to dressing down the annoying loudmouthed louts of the internet-atheism/skepticism spheres, I'm right there with you, my friend. They make just as satisfying sport for the satirist.
Jesus christ that's alot of big words all in a row.
Your dictionary must be one worn out, loose paged, mess by now
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I dunno how Glib does it but personally I just go and Google/use dictionary.com to check definitions of big words I wish to use when I'm feeling pretentious.
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To be fair some people enjoy using a certain writing style in such topics, it's not a crime to write for a more educated audience once in a while and nothing about his post seemed pretentious to me. I've seen some real thesaurus abuse in my days and I hardly think this is one of them.
I think there's better places to pick on someone's writing style than this thread, basically. Well, depending on the case, I guess, it's best not to state absolutes …
@gliblord: I came into the argument late so I don't know what prompted it, but I would like to mention that I'm not a fan of comparing which coming out is socially worse than the other. It's not a fun game. Bottom line is that going against the established norms of your society and family is a hard thing to do, we can leave it at that.
@Desa: I think you're doing nothing wrong and what I read didn't come off as homophobic or anything of the sort. If you're not interested in someone because you have a preference for the other gender that's perfectly valid and they have to understand that. If they keep on forcing it even after you make your position and preferences clear, then that's just rather invasive and awkward of a situation and for their sake they really should stop pushing it. But yea, you know that, I just wanted to let you know nothing you said comes off in a negative, homophobic way, from how I understand it at least.
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To be fair some people enjoy using a certain writing style in such topics, it's not a crime to write for a more educated audience once in a while and nothing about his post seemed pretentious to me. I've seen some real thesaurus abuse in my days and I hardly think this is one of them.
WOAH, Noqanky! I understand where the misunderstanding is coming from but believe me I did not intend to imply Glib as being pretentious in any sort of way. That was meant to be more of self-deprecation at my own posting style.
But yeah to reiterate, I understand that my post could easily be misconstrued and thus hold no ill will against you for reaching such erroneous conclusions.
…god now this post is quite pretentious.
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Once everybody (or at least a good majority of the human race) realises that religious belief is like a penis - it's alright to have it, alright not to have it and alright to have doubts about whether or not you should have it; don't make a big deal about it and whip it out in the public arena (unless under certain circumstances) and MOST IMPORTANTLY DON'T FORCE IT DOWN CHILDREN'S THROATS - the world will be a better place.
That's got the be one the most original analogy I saw for religion. A good one too.
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
@Noqanky
Thank you. Sometimes it's good to be confirm you're not being an ass about important matters. -
Why did you go and requote a post I already regretted making just mere hours later. .____.
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Don't mean to hijack the thread since it's meant for confessions, I just wanted to say I wasn't aware the words I was using were particularly advanced or anything.
Mostly you'll find me biting people's heads off in earnest if they say some MRA bullshit or obtuse/clueless shit against feminism/about gender portrayal in media, which is what REALLY pisses me off. In that sense I'm polemical. But even then I hate having to. I'm just a big ol' teddy bear that wants to crack open a beer with you. My atheism isn't polemical, I'm just having fun preaching to a choir. A very small choir. Not even preaching, more like shooting the shit.
Won't you join hands with me and make merry kumbayas and talk about how great Horikoshi is
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To be fair some people enjoy using a certain writing style in such topics, it's not a crime to write for a more educated audience once in a while and nothing about his post seemed pretentious to me. I've seen some real thesaurus abuse in my days and I hardly think this is one of them.
I think there's better places to pick on someone's writing style than this thread, basically. Well, depending on the case, I guess, it's best not to state absolutes ….
Yeah probably. Was more of a reflexive thing, that post i made there.
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I'm getting worse every day… I think my doctor should know about my psychotic symptoms, I may have to get hospitalized again.
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I'm getting worse every day… I think my doctor should know about my psychotic symptoms, I may have to get hospitalized again.
Hey man. I have no idea what you're going through but yes if you feel that your health isn't right it's best to check with a doctor, just to be safe. Hope you're doing okay.
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I'm getting worse every day… I think my doctor should know about my psychotic symptoms, I may have to get hospitalized again.
Exactly what Femme and you yourself said. Go see a doctor as he should definitely be informed about whatever is troubling you. Hell, you might not even have to be hospitalized. I'm sure there are a myriad of treatments that don't involve hospitalization that your doctor can help you out with.
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! I'm very sorry to hear about your dad, Chrissie. It definitely would be even harder on you because you're not there when you want to be. I'm sure your dad would love to see you too and he's really the one that needs the strength so, really, I'm hoping too that you go ahead and visit him. I recommend you go ahead and get that travel permit. Did you talk to your employer about your family situation or is it a personal thing you feel you shouldn't have to explain just to travel? Either way, if it comes down to it and if you haven't done it yet you might have to tell your employer it's a family emergency and if they ask for details (which they shouldn't?) go ahead and tell them about your dad. Nothing detailed. Only what you're comfortable with offering to tell them and honestly after that, if they're not willing to ket you go, go anyway because that's unfair. On top of this whole unfair situation except this time it would be purposeful. Nobody should be kept away from a close family member in their time of need because of some asinine policy or whatever rigid system they're functioning on. Please believe me when I say I'm not trying to get you fired. Honestly, the situation shouldn't and probably won't even escalate to that. It wouldn't hurt to try and appeal to your employers about why you need to leave for a little bit and I hope they understand.
! As for the length of the stay allowed by the travel permit, it's unfortunate it's not as long as you would like but even a week is better than nothing. Anything that has you over there with your family and dad in this time is better than nothing. I hope for the best but in case things do take a downturn I know you'd want to be there before that happened. Being there isn't just for him. People need to understand being close to a loved in a difficult situation isn't just for that loved one but for yourself too. It's a consolation and a way to come to terms, and that's exactly what you stated when you said you wanted to be with him, so go he with him.
! I know this isn't easy. I know it won't be easy to get down there but I know you'll find a way and when you do I hope you all have all the laughs and cries and hugs in the world. I hope he gets better most of all and this whole thing will be bad distant memory. Good luck Chrissie and pass that on to your father.
! Oh! And stop blaming yourself! NONE of this is your fault! Absolutely none of it! Zero, zilch, nada.Omfg Chrissieeeeee ;A;
[hide] If you can find out that taking an extended leave DOESN'T void your green card and ultimately citizenship, go. Fuck the job. I'm guessing that without your job, there's not enough money to pay the rent. I hope I don't sound douchey, but maybe your husband can see if it's possible to stay with family while you go be with your dad for what might possibly be the last few months of his life. There's honestly no telling. Some people with lung cancer, with the disease responding to treatment and an optimal diet, live for years before they go under. Some only live weeks or months. Everyone is different, but there ARE people who have responded to treatment, even when it's metastasized, and end up getting many more years of life. I've known people personally that got many more years of life than they were ever expected to, to people who succumbed rather quickly. Proper diet DOES help A LOT (the science behind this is AMAZING and it's worth looking into).
I would do that in an instant if I had a significant other in the same situation, or I would find someone to room with in the interim. I'm forever grateful I got to spend the last year of my grandmother's life living with her. I'm going to be fucked up over her death for the rest of my life, but getting to spend so much quality time with her in the final year made all the difference in tying up bumpy spots in our relationship, and just getting to spend all that time with the person who was the most important person in my life up to that point (and still is). I'm crying now DX
I can understand if that would put your husband in a tough position and this is why you may resist. It's definitely something you two need to talk about. It's easy for me to say after watching the most important person to me die, and not everyone can relate to that experience. I definitely do not mean any of this as being douchey and saying "fuck responsibilities! do what you want!" but when your family members are gone, they're gone. And that hole will never be replaced.
PLEASE reconsider visiting the local immigration office and speak to someone in depth about what's going on and hopefully they can find a way to help you. There HAS to be a condition under extenuating circumstances, like the illness of an immediate family member that will allow you SOME decent amount of time to spend with your dad. They can't be totally stone-wall like that in emergency cases.
[/hide]First of all, thank you both so much for your replies ;-; They definitely made me cry, but in a way that made me feel better, y'know?
Peter and I both decided to go around Christmas for about two weeks (and I am starting to apply to public schools for a position since that would give me more money and more time away from school especially during the Summer). I will apply for a travel permit and make it into a surprise. If I see that my visit is bringing my dad relief or anything of the sort, we will have to discuss about me moving back to Cyprus for a month or two and hopefully that won't affect my whole Green Card process.Again thank you both.
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First of all, thank you both so much for your replies ;-; They definitely made me cry, but in a way that made me feel better, y'know?
Peter and I both decided to go around Christmas for about two weeks (and I am starting to apply to public schools for a position since that would give me more money and more time away from school especially during the Summer). I will apply for a travel permit and make it into a surprise. If I see that my visit is bringing my dad relief or anything of the sort, we will have to discuss about me moving back to Cyprus for a month or two and hopefully that won't affect my whole Green Card process.Again thank you both.
Ok, good!!! I hope everything turns out alright in the end, and you get to spend some quality time with your dad soon.
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Apparently my Green Card is getting here in 3 weeks so no need to stress about that at all!!
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This post is deleted!
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Apparently my Green Card is getting here in 3 weeks so no need to stress about that at all!!
WOOT WOOT!!!
I can't wait until my wife gets her green card. Freaking lawyer is expensive.
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WOOT WOOT!!!
I can't wait until my wife gets her green card. Freaking lawyer is expensive.
Aaaand it arrived today in the mail! o.o Oh YEAH!
It's pretty exciting!! You guys got a lawyer? I bet it was so much easier with one @_@ We were drowning in paperwork but eventually pulled through!! Hope she gets it soon!! <3 -
stretches
Hm… Normally I wouldn't ring up an exposition for something like this what with having forgone conclusions from the experience but I did receive one or two things of tangible note that have been valuable in my recent growth so perhaps someone will get something out of it as I have.
For a long time, I've struggled with the question of, "Who exactly am I? Why do I think the way that I do?" And, through my desperation and mounting depression I aggressively sought answers. I was fed up, I was so tired of not understanding why I could not simply assimilate with my peers and accept their notions of things. And so I searched, and in my search I found the Myers-Briggs personality assessment. Now, this was not my first encounter with this particular test. To the contrary, I had already taken the test years before. But I decided I wanted to look more deeply into the personality type that the test had bequeathed to me. And I found that the personality type I had (INFJ) was considered to be the rarest amongst all personality types, constituting only 1-2% of the entire population. And that even further than that, an even smaller percentage of that was actually male with the greater proportion being females. Simply put, I'm as rare as they come (personality-wise).
Wonderful! Right? That whole thing about, "You are not a special snowflake" that they try to remind people of, in my case it's actually the opposite. I am a special snowflake. That's really something! Right?
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I can't stand it. In fact, I hate it. Amongst the most notable traits of the INFJ are empathetic qualities. We have the ability to quite easily discern someone's thoughts based on their actions, speech and mannerisms. Not to say others can't do this as well but for this personality type it comes naturally. And I can personally attest to this as I find it very easy to read the people around me and figure out their immediate motivations. And here would come the irony. I, in being so naturally empathetic, find it difficult to relate to anyone around me. As you recall, my personality type is the rarest one. There is no one that is truly like me that I could talk to. And yet it's something I've yearned for since I was a child.
But the only thing this test did was reaffirm my already long held beliefs that I am painfully alone in the way I view things. It's absolutely daunting to think that I would have to find another super rare snowflake just to have a conversation with a person that gets what I'm saying. And so, rather than hold the test as an iron clad law I said fuck it. And more or less those were the conclusions I reached. I agreed with a lot of the test's assessments and then the in-depth analysis of the INFJ profile that I later looked more deeply into, but ultimately I said fuck it. Because I can't live like that. I can't live with the thought that I can't connect with people and truly share understanding with them. It instead has to be my environment.
In many ways, that's why I've returned here and even went so far as to get my old account back. Because here I have connected deeply with people and it's something I feel as if I'm growing out of touch with. I will admit that the assessment did clear up some confusions I had within my own psyche and has at least alerted me to the problem but having said that I also just don't like throwing letters and numbers around in interactions. Taking that test was something I needed in order to help me along the path of self-discovery but ultimately what I found and what I'll always continue to find is that people are much more than that. People are more than 4 little letters, no matter how much science is poured into it.
It's people that have bared me and it's people that will heal me. Dammit, I need people. =P
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Apparently my Green Card is getting here in 3 weeks so no need to stress about that at all!!
YESSSSS GOOD I'm so glad @_@ That's one huge issue taken care of!
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This post is deleted!
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@Jazzy:
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It's good to have you back, Jazzy.
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I think my brain is somehow becoming less effective. I find myself having more difficulties thinking straight. For example, I tried opening a door by pushing it and someone had to point out that it had a handle before I noticed. On the way home, I saw a cat running along the sidewalk and thought it was a bunny for several seconds, despite there being no rational reason for it to be a bunny. (I'm becoming an actual Dumhuvud)
Could be that I'm exhausted, I guess. I fear it might be caused by years of medication though. (Which I might have said already, idk)
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I think my brain is somehow becoming less effective. I find myself having more difficulties thinking straight. For example, I tried opening a door by pushing it and someone had to point out that it had a handle before I noticed. On the way home, I saw a cat running along the sidewalk and thought it was a bunny for several seconds, despite there being no rational reason for it to be a bunny. (I'm becoming an actual Dumhuvud)
Could be that I'm exhausted, I guess. I fear it might be caused by years of medication though. (Which I might have said already, idk)
The exhaustion sounds like the more likely option to me. I've sparsely taken medication in my life and I've ran into doors with handles which you're supposed to pull on but instead I pushed. And I pushed. And I pushed again but still it wouldn't open and then it finally clicked, derp, maybe I need to pull it! I've also ran into double doors that are locked, so when I tried one door and it doesn't open I try the other one expecting different results, but, alas, locked doors are locked doors.
My brothers still tease me about the next one. I once mistook a glass bottle lying on its side in a McDonalds parking lot for a mongoose…yes, a mongoose. It was dark but it wasn't that dark, but I could've sworn it was a freaking mongoose just waiting there for me. I have a lot more cases of mistaken identifications but that was probably the weirdest one.
If it's small things like that I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just get some more rest and drink more water. Makes the brain think clearer.
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So I started playing a game and through it I came in contact with a pretty swell guy. We even share music tastes and we both seem to be interested in one another.
But he dropped a comment that made me back away (in my mind, I haven't said anything out loud yet) really fast. He seems homophobic. Or maybe that's not the right word. He said he utterly hates gays.
So… eh... This sucks. And makes me somewhat sad. Like, my friends and you guys here are so accepting and act like "You're gay? That's alright~ Here, have a thousands hugs!"
You guys rock!
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People throw around the word "hate" so easily and I strongly dislike that. The idiot probably just disagrees with their lifestyle and thinks that equates to hate and justifies his use of that word. At least, I hope he doesn't actually hate them or otherwise you need to not talk to that dude ever again. Hell, might as well just not talk to him now. Either way, he made it pretty clear he's an asshole.
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Hey, you never know. He may have had a really bad encounter with gay dudes before. I'd say at least get the context first. If it's nothing more than, "Cause they fruity" or some dumb shit then yeah, he's an asshole and should be treated as such.
Not trying to defend the guy or anything but my naive optimism wants to believe that hatred doesn't stem from nowhere and that most people at least have some kind of reason. Maybe he can be made to see the error of his ways. Shit, I know if people didn't give me the time of day I never would have seen through my own ignorance.
Although yeah, I'd still pull back on any romantic thoughts. That's just being smart.
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People throw around the word "hate" so easily and I strongly dislike that. The idiot probably just disagrees with their lifestyle and thinks that equates to hate and justifies his use of that word. At least, I hope he doesn't actually hate them or otherwise you need to not talk to that dude ever again. Hell, might as well just not talk to him now. Either way, he made it pretty clear he's an asshole.
I agree with outer. I HATE people who do that.
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:ninja:As a whole I agree with Jazzy as well, though you have to be careful about it sometimes. Some people don't want to see the error of their ways and can react harshly to it. I don't think there's a need to sharply turn away from him either, but that said, I'd admittedly have that inclination myself.
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In my experience the most common thing is that someone who categorically hates a group has actually had NO contact or experiences with said group. It all comes from their family, community, media, etc. They hold views because people they trust hold them too, or because it just seems like the thing to do.