Here I come to randomly revive the thread (and probably vanish) again.
Since the death of my mother, things are weird or..how can I say, a "Do something or die" situation. My father, unfortunately gave up on our country and dreams that I get a new job in another country, to have a "better life". I still love my country and I wont give it up this easily, but, it is worth the sacrifice ? Sure, have a better life and a decent job are great, but I would feel awful if I betrayed something I have proud.
Besides that, my sadness is getting worst, and now I know I don't have all the time I thought I had, my parents are dying and I still lack motivation to change, to do new stuff.
omg Captain many many hugs You have my condolences ;;
I've been still somewhat stuck in that kind of funk since my grandma died, and it's been 6 years. I feel like I should've been to another stage of life at this point. I have a lot of desire, but zero motivation. I'm gonna try to force myself to take care of my body better, since having more energy would probably help me a lot. It's been a year since I had surgery and physically I'm doing a lot better, but I basically live on coffee and junk food. I got SUPER LUCKY this surgery cured my awful pain, I need to take care of my body better.
I agree with what Chrissie said, leaving your country to pursue a career and a new life doesn't have to mean that you're giving up or disrespecting where you came from. Hell, I wanna leave Texas, but it doesn't mean I'm ever gonna give up on it/not care about my home when I finally leave it. You should do what's best for you and what makes you happy, and a lot of people aren't happy staying where they came from.
I wish I could offer better advice but like I said :V I'm still wallowing in my own funk that I haven't fully come out of yet. Though I think also in my case (aside from the bipolar) I lost a lot of my childhood and having to go into the adult world like that and immediately after losing someone so important to me was a recipe for disaster. Only I can fix myself and get myself going, but I don't feel like a responsible adult, at all. And I don't know how to make myself feel that way, tell myself to save money instead of spend it and MEAN it… I'm struggling. An increase in my meds is helping me a lot, so hopefully with more time I'll get better, finally. For the first time in forever (like really, ever) I find myself being able to calm down and feel zen most of the time... I've never ever EVER felt like that. Just this week there's been a lot of shit that would make me furious happen at work and I've stayed calm and collected. That's really huge for me.
I just gotta figure out how to adult. Adulting is more than taxes and keeping steady employment. I just wish my motivation and drive and love for life would come back to me. They've been gone for way too long.