Congrats!
Good luck on your recovery.
Talk LGBT Issues And Be Nice About It
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That's wonderful news!!! Congratulations!!!!
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That’s cool to hear, Rin! Best wishes for a speedy recovery~
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Congrats Rin, and a godspeed recovery.
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I have been laughing for five minutes straight ahaha Well not so "straight" but you catch my drift. ;) Congrats on finding your inner truth, it's NEVER too late for that. All the best for you, my friend.
Hahaha thank you! Glad someone thought that was funny! It's extremely liberating to not have to worry about binding anymore. Though even not having tiddies weighing me down, I still have back problems regardless, haha! Cursed forever with bad posture.
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Demon Rin, I wish you the smoothest of recoveries!
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Lately I've been having mixed feelings about a Hungarian trans Facebook group.
The surgeon that operated on my chest (top surgery - boob removal) seems to catch more flak than what I expected. It's fine as long as all of this is communicated in a civilized and respectful way, and I just decided not to really comment or recommend this surgeon anymore due to others having had not-so-ideal results and experience with him. On the other hand, criticism has gotten far ruder as of late. I'm not trying to shield the surgeon because I'm pretty sure he doesn't need it, but I recognize these comments might affect people who had surgery with him. Me being one of them and all that. Reading his works described as "butcheries" and "piece of shit (I actually struggle to find a good word is English for the one having been used, but you get the idea)" is quite unpleasant.
This comment, understandably, really grind my gears, so I decided, if not to change the commenter's mindset, than to give a modicum of reassurance to the "silent watchers" that this is, in fact, not okay. The conversation ended with the guy saying that he thought the surgeon's results were fine until he saw "much better" ones. I left it at that, because at that point, I saw no point in continuing any further.
Fast forward to today, a few weeks have passed, and someone makes a post musing about how there's hardly any pictures of surgery results in the group because "people are dissatisfied with their results and/or surgeon". He himself posted his which was from a different surgeon than mine, and seeing the overly positive comments, I decided against commenting, that maybe people are hesitant because a, they don't want their half-naked pictures on Facebook, even if it's in a closed group and b, maybe they don't want their chests being called butcheries down the line because some might think their results are worse than others.
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Kelloggs decides to be supportive and makes a nice "togetherness" cereal in time for Pride month (mostly just a fancy Fruit Loops but all their icons are on the box), and as usual the right-wing orgs throw a hissy fit over it:
https://www.comicsands.com/christian-boycot-kelloggs-pride-cereal-2653097044.html?fbclid=IwAR2AHW1eMyQNoCank3z_YI1vGVtSH3Dd3zZDt2wcrcKsXcDXz8BsHuMKbPUTo which Kelloggs basically says "fuck you" and also releases a line of rainbow rice krispie treats.
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https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/jun/15/hungary-passes-law-banning-lbgt-content-in-schools
Can I hug you Nolus? It doesnt sound fun. Being LGBT in Hungary.
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“There are contents which children under a certain age can misunderstand and which may have a detrimental effect on their development at the given age, or which children simply cannot process, and which could therefore confuse their developing moral values or their image of themselves or the world,” said a Hungarian government spokesperson.
You know, I never understood this argument. This talk about moral values being an absolute and universal thing.
Like saying to a kid that some people feel attracted/love people of the same sex instantly flips a switch on the child's brain that make they go "okay, from now on I'm gonna be this thing I just discovered."
It's like people still insist that sexual orientation is a choice and not a thing hardwired into the brain. But than again, the same people that have this line of though are incapable of dissociating gender form biological sex. -
What bothers me with that argument is all the hate behind it.
"We can't show kids same-sex couples or trans stuff because then they may think it's normal instead of growing up hating what they don't understand, luckily they won't understand it because we'll make sure to keep all relevant info away from them."
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I was at a protest concerning this on Monday, and I felt in my heart of hearts that it will pass. It was part of a bigger plan anyway, a sort of decoy, while they went after the country's roads and highways (probably trying to make millions of forints disappear like some sort of overenthusiastic birthday magician).
I hadn't high hopes, is all I'm saying. One thing, however, left an impression on me. During the protest, there were of course speeches, and during one of those I suddenly realized, that the (un)intended consequence of banning discourse among minors about LGBT+ issues is kids feeling the same debilitating confusion and loneliness I've felt. Growing up as someone not conforming to gender stereotypes and roles, the best I got is shrugs and denial when I tried communicating to the world that I feel so… other. I remember having a speaking exercise with my English teacher, whom I dearly loved and who appreciated me, and somehow the sentence "I feel like an alien" came out of my mouth. She just smiled and said something along the lines of "oh nonsense, you're perfectly fine". She meant no harm, and only tried to support me, but lacked the knowledge or resources to be truly able to help me. No one around me could. I was, at best, a socially inept tomboy, who caused little to no trouble and had good grades.
Only at around age 20 have I finally started discovering the keys to my identity. When I saw people online saying: "It doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to be a certain way." As I dug deeper I slowly unearthed a whole different layer to the world, and the limits previously confining my reality were unmade. I was free. Terrified, but free to roam this world without chains.
Sometimes I look back and wonder… how afraid my past self was, how I'd love nothing more than to reassure him that he's gonna be okay. He's not a human with defects, he's a wonderful creature just like everyone else that someday will find his place.
How many children feel the same way as I did all those years ago? How many are confused, anxious and hopeless, having to blindly wade through life looking for answers all be themselves. I now know I wasn't alone, never have been, and my heart bleeds for those still in the dark, who are repeatedly denied relief from their anxieties, because some people still believe our very existence is a threat to their way of life. That we living our truths is a harsh propaganda meant to convert unassuming kids.
I'm kinda glad my last surgery is going to be in another country, because I'm not sure what the situation will be like in a year or two.
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You know, I never understood this argument. This talk about moral values being an absolute and universal thing.
Honestly, people should follow the one golden rule – If it hurts none, do as you will. That should be the only moral anyone should have, in a way I mean.
It's like people still insist that sexual orientation is a choice and not a thing hardwired into the brain. But than again, the same people that have this line of though are incapable of dissociating gender form biological sex.
I mean I don't see sexual orientation as a choice, as you are born gay, bisexual or straight; but I do see gender and sex as the same thing. Meaning I am transgender so I see both my sex and gender as female and not Gender: Female, Sex: Male. I don't want any male label on me in any way shape or form because it does not feel right. It is why once I get my bottom surgery, I will have my gender/sex changed on my birth certificate as female. But yeah, just a different perspective to see from one transgender person. Though not all agree with what I say, but that's okay. I just wanted to share how I felt.
I'm kinda glad my last surgery is going to be in another country, because I'm not sure what the situation will be like in a year or two.
What country will you be getting your surgery? Sadly, I can't get my bottom surgery till I get a BMI of 30… So, a goal for me for the next year. Hopefully I lose weight by then.
I just hope things get better in your country... it sucks that it is going so backward like this. Like what happened to following the golden rule -- Do as you will, as long as you harm none?
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Randy took a break from politics this time to make something for Pride month. By honoring someone he views as "the Goddess of Gays".
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https://www.rawstory.com/lgbtq-pride/
Better person than I. I would've told her to stop reading other people's bullshit and hung up on her.
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2021 Miss Nevada Will Be The First Openly Transgender Miss USA Contestant:
https://www.npr.org/2021/07/03/1012666827/2021-miss-nevada-will-be-the-first-openly-transgender-miss-usa-contestantWoot! This is epic news! I can see why she won, she is very hot! xD
Be cool if she wins Miss Universe! o:
I love to be in this types of pageants, but I'm not pretty enough, despite that I love fashion. I probably look better once I lose weight. -
She's gorgeous. And while I think beauty pageants are kinda dumb, it's nice to recognize a trans.
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Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue Has A Trans Model On The Cover For The First Time:
https://www.npr.org/2021/07/20/1018381498/sports-illustrateds-swimsuit-issue-trans-model-leyna-bloomWoot! :happy:
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I have been meaning to do this a while ago, but I want to join my story of coming out as transgender and discrimination I faced. I feel like this is important enough to show the struggles of being trans to non-trans people, but also I want to open up a little bit to people on AP.
! To start off with, I was born as intersex, or how I like to call it intersex male due to my biology sorta being male but not really. I raised as a male, though there were signs of me wanting to female. Specifically, like hating my private part and always sitting down to pee.
! I started hating having hair on my body, which is everywhere except on my head and eyebrows. I started to shave the hair off one part at a time. I didn't want to get caught by my mother who would frown about that. I started with just my wrists, then my chest, then finally my legs. (Somewhere around there my private area.) This was around 2010.
! I also had a period of crossdressing. It started after I dressed up as a girl for Halloween. I started to like the idea of painting my nails and wearing skirts! For work, I start to wear women's jeans. I think this helped me closer to figuring out who I really am to be.
! In 2012, I started to question my sex/gender, so I was confused if I wanted to be male or female. Eventually, I decided to be female, since a lot of the signs were there. I realized I was female because I picture myself with a female body AKA breasts and a vagina. This last part was a little down later on the road where I started to question again why I was transitioning, but it helped strengthen why I am a woman.
! I got my hormones on August 28, 2012! I started off with estrogen and two weeks later with testosterone blockers. When I got those blockers I finally started to present myself as a woman at my job at the time. I worked at a Walmart in Branson, Missouri. I did start to tell people about me changing sex/gender so I felt like I was too open. I did meet another trans woman who actually helped me get my hormones. She worked there at Home Office though later resigned to pursue her own thing.
! Now, here is where I started to face discrimination for being a transsexual. It was about the whole bathroom issue. I was basically stuck with either going to the men's or the private family bathroom in the far back of the store. Which is what I stuck with, the private bathroom, as I was uncomfortable with the idea of going to the men's.
! After some time in 2013, I decided to ask about using the female bathroom since I was passing more. One manager was fine, but he went to another one, and that one had a talk with me. He literally told me I couldn't go to the women's restroom till I got my bottom surgery. So, I decided to report him for discrimination.
! When I talked with the home office lady, everything came crashing down. She was on his side and not mine. I tried to fight, and she went so far to say that since Missouri didn't have transgender protections, she won't do anything. Apparently, it was such a big deal that I was male first and then changed to female, so apparently she was "thinking of the other women who worked there." That night I was so pissed where I imagined all the lights in the store just blinking out of existence.
! I tried to reach out to others to get support, but… that led to the truth of how people really thought of me. They "accepted" me but when it came to the bathroom issue, they showed their true colors. I remember one lady mocking me -- She was like "You, a woman?" and then she scoffed at it. I also felt betrayed by another friend who was female. She felt uncomfortable sharing the bathroom with me.
! After some time, I had another bathroom option, which was thanks to the new customer service manager. You see, I was basically a cashier at the time, so it was a pain to go to the back. The other bathroom option was to use the washroom located in the abandoned doctor's office. This option was great till the place got taken for some other usage.
! Sometime between all that, I had to deal with a customer who was very rude. He basically went around harassing me by calling me sir. I tried to reach out to a manager, but it was the same one who rejected the bathroom thing. He was like "Not all people will accept you, and I just had to deal with that." Instead of you know, making it so that I can feel at peace at work.
! Another incident I had that I'm sure it was transphobia was the switch from overnights to working in the daytime. I was told I was supposed to find my replacement, which I did, and then they rejected him. Apparently, they wanted him to be a stocker, but he wanted to stay as a cashier. And like he was supposed to be my replacement, so why not stay as cashier? It was just a pain and stressful moment. I then learned that it wasn't up to me to find someone to replace, it was management's job. After I complained enough I finally got to work on days.
! Eventually, I learned through research that Walmart itself that transgender protections. So, I went to a different manager that knew me and told him my story and struggles with this whole bathroom thing. He decided to go through home office, but I told him about the home office lady that was rude. So, he went through another person that was in the higher ups. And a few days later, he talked to me and said I can choose to go to any bathroom I wanted.
! After a happy moment, a few months later - 2015, I ended up getting a stalker who worked there. Her name is Polly and she scared me greatly; I felt very uncomfortable around her and tried to be friends. I decided to cut her off but still work with her if needed. (Though I refused to speak to her.) She was extremely obsessed about me to the point where she left a creepy letter on my car saying she watches when I sleep at my lunch break and even admitted she will try to sexual assault me because she couldn't resist.
! Sexual assault as in basically kiss attacking me on the lips. That really scared me and I got stuck working on a few registers close to my bosses. I was to park where the cameras could see me. This was to help me feel safe.
! It gotten worse though where Polly decided to ask someone that worked there to spy on me when I go to Denny's... that was the last straw and I quit my job. Walmart did nothing for several months and all I had to deal with going to work was being scared. I wanted to sue Walmart, but I was too cowardly to stand up for myself, so I gave up.
! In 2016, I moved to my current city of Pittsburgh from Missouri. I wanted to go to a place where there was transgender protections. The only really transphobia I faced was from customers. (I worked at a Dollar General around this time.) Like using the wrong pronouns even if I corrected them telling them that I am woman. I still face some of that to this day, I don't mind slip-ups but if after I tell you and you still refuse to disrespect me, I'm done being nice.
! Nowadays, I'm still scarred by the past, like even though I have protections to use facilities, I still get that paranoia and fear. Like at college, I was brave enough to use the showers there after using the gym, though it sucks it was open showers, so I just had my underwear on to feel safe and not scare anyone with the part I still have. Lucky for me, no one really used them, so it was nice.
! There was some other things too, like my mom not accepting me for who I am, though I have been reconnecting with her, and making her an exception to call me by my birth name. She isn't good with change, and I feel like once she sees me as who I am, she will start to see the truth and accept me. The good news is since I graduated in the spring of this year, my brother showed her my degree, and she didn't get triggered by my name on there! So, that is progress.
! As for surgeries, I only had laser hair removal which helped my face look more feminine. I do need more work on my voice as it sounds gender neutral and I want to sound like more like a woman. I also plan on getting bottom surgery, and lucky for me, Medicaid in my state can cover it. Though I have to get a BMI of 30 before I can even get it, but that's a goal I have been working on, so I can finally feel complete and be me.
! If you read up to this point, thank you for taking the time to read all this! I had quite a journey, but I'm happy that these days people are becoming more accepting of people like me. There's still a lot of progress, but I know eventually people will be understanding over time. I always try to educate others about this. With sharing my story, I'm educating everyone about my life as a trans woman. But anyways, thanks again for taking the time to read this! I hope it helped give some light on how life is for a trans person like me! :happy: -
I have been meaning to do this a while ago, but I want to join my story of coming out as transgender and discrimination I faced. I feel like this is important enough to show the struggles of being trans to non-trans people, but also I want to open up a little bit to people on AP.
! To start off with, I was born as intersex, or how I like to call it intersex male due to my biology sorta being male but not really. I raised as a male, though there were signs of me wanting to female. Specifically, like hating my private part and always sitting down to pee.
! I started hating having hair on my body, which is everywhere except on my head and eyebrows. I started to shave the hair off one part at a time. I didn't want to get caught by my mother who would frown about that. I started with just my wrists, then my chest, then finally my legs. (Somewhere around there my private area.) This was around 2010.
! I also had a period of crossdressing. It started after I dressed up as a girl for Halloween. I started to like the idea of painting my nails and wearing skirts! For work, I start to wear women's jeans. I think this helped me closer to figuring out who I really am to be.
! In 2012, I started to question my sex/gender, so I was confused if I wanted to be male or female. Eventually, I decided to be female, since a lot of the signs were there. I realized I was female because I picture myself with a female body AKA breasts and a vagina. This last part was a little down later on the road where I started to question again why I was transitioning, but it helped strengthen why I am a woman.
! I got my hormones on August 28, 2012! I started off with estrogen and two weeks later with testosterone blockers. When I got those blockers I finally started to present myself as a woman at my job at the time. I worked at a Walmart in Branson, Missouri. I did start to tell people about me changing sex/gender so I felt like I was too open. I did meet another trans woman who actually helped me get my hormones. She worked there at Home Office though later resigned to pursue her own thing.
! Now, here is where I started to face discrimination for being a transsexual. It was about the whole bathroom issue. I was basically stuck with either going to the men's or the private family bathroom in the far back of the store. Which is what I stuck with, the private bathroom, as I was uncomfortable with the idea of going to the men's.
! After some time in 2013, I decided to ask about using the female bathroom since I was passing more. One manager was fine, but he went to another one, and that one had a talk with me. He literally told me I couldn't go to the women's restroom till I got my bottom surgery. So, I decided to report him for discrimination.
! When I talked with the home office lady, everything came crashing down. She was on his side and not mine. I tried to fight, and she went so far to say that since Missouri didn't have transgender protections, she won't do anything. Apparently, it was such a big deal that I was male first and then changed to female, so apparently she was "thinking of the other women who worked there." That night I was so pissed where I imagined all the lights in the store just blinking out of existence.
! I tried to reach out to others to get support, but… that led to the truth of how people really thought of me. They "accepted" me but when it came to the bathroom issue, they showed their true colors. I remember one lady mocking me -- She was like "You, a woman?" and then she scoffed at it. I also felt betrayed by another friend who was female. She felt uncomfortable sharing the bathroom with me.
! After some time, I had another bathroom option, which was thanks to the new customer service manager. You see, I was basically a cashier at the time, so it was a pain to go to the back. The other bathroom option was to use the washroom located in the abandoned doctor's office. This option was great till the place got taken for some other usage.
! Sometime between all that, I had to deal with a customer who was very rude. He basically went around harassing me by calling me sir. I tried to reach out to a manager, but it was the same one who rejected the bathroom thing. He was like "Not all people will accept you, and I just had to deal with that." Instead of you know, making it so that I can feel at peace at work.
! Another incident I had that I'm sure it was transphobia was the switch from overnights to working in the daytime. I was told I was supposed to find my replacement, which I did, and then they rejected him. Apparently, they wanted him to be a stocker, but he wanted to stay as a cashier. And like he was supposed to be my replacement, so why not stay as cashier? It was just a pain and stressful moment. I then learned that it wasn't up to me to find someone to replace, it was management's job. After I complained enough I finally got to work on days.
! Eventually, I learned through research that Walmart itself that transgender protections. So, I went to a different manager that knew me and told him my story and struggles with this whole bathroom thing. He decided to go through home office, but I told him about the home office lady that was rude. So, he went through another person that was in the higher ups. And a few days later, he talked to me and said I can choose to go to any bathroom I wanted.
! After a happy moment, a few months later - 2015, I ended up getting a stalker who worked there. Her name is Polly and she scared me greatly; I felt very uncomfortable around her and tried to be friends. I decided to cut her off but still work with her if needed. (Though I refused to speak to her.) She was extremely obsessed about me to the point where she left a creepy letter on my car saying she watches when I sleep at my lunch break and even admitted she will try to sexual assault me because she couldn't resist.
! Sexual assault as in basically kiss attacking me on the lips. That really scared me and I got stuck working on a few registers close to my bosses. I was to park where the cameras could see me. This was to help me feel safe.
! It gotten worse though where Polly decided to ask someone that worked there to spy on me when I go to Denny's... that was the last straw and I quit my job. Walmart did nothing for several months and all I had to deal with going to work was being scared. I wanted to sue Walmart, but I was too cowardly to stand up for myself, so I gave up.
! In 2016, I moved to my current city of Pittsburgh from Missouri. I wanted to go to a place where there was transgender protections. The only really transphobia I faced was from customers. (I worked at a Dollar General around this time.) Like using the wrong pronouns even if I corrected them telling them that I am woman. I still face some of that to this day, I don't mind slip-ups but if after I tell you and you still refuse to disrespect me, I'm done being nice.
! Nowadays, I'm still scarred by the past, like even though I have protections to use facilities, I still get that paranoia and fear. Like at college, I was brave enough to use the showers there after using the gym, though it sucks it was open showers, so I just had my underwear on to feel safe and not scare anyone with the part I still have. Lucky for me, no one really used them, so it was nice.
! There was some other things too, like my mom not accepting me for who I am, though I have been reconnecting with her, and making her an exception to call me by my birth name. She isn't good with change, and I feel like once she sees me as who I am, she will start to see the truth and accept me. The good news is since I graduated in the spring of this year, my brother showed her my degree, and she didn't get triggered by my name on there! So, that is progress.
! As for surgeries, I only had laser hair removal which helped my face look more feminine. I do need more work on my voice as it sounds gender neutral and I want to sound like more like a woman. I also plan on getting bottom surgery, and lucky for me, Medicaid in my state can cover it. Though I have to get a BMI of 30 before I can even get it, but that's a goal I have been working on, so I can finally feel complete and be me.
! If you read up to this point, thank you for taking the time to read all this! I had quite a journey, but I'm happy that these days people are becoming more accepting of people like me. There's still a lot of progress, but I know eventually people will be understanding over time. I always try to educate others about this. With sharing my story, I'm educating everyone about my life as a trans woman. But anyways, thanks again for taking the time to read this! I hope it helped give some light on how life is for a trans person like me! :happy:Thanks for sharing. I'm cis, but during the last year I had a classmate transition from man to woman and it was a bit of a wake up call, I hadn't know anyone I cared about before who was transgender. So I'd like to at least try and understand more. Sharing experiences like this helps a lot, much more than trying to look up information online (there's so many definitions and opinions that change so fast).
Good luck on your journey!
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@Zar:
Thanks for sharing. I'm cis, but during the last year I had a classmate transition from man to woman and it was a bit of a wake up call, I hadn't know anyone I cared about before who was transgender. So I'd like to at least try and understand more. Sharing experiences like this helps a lot, much more than trying to look up information online (there's so many definitions and opinions that change so fast).
You're very welcome! If you have any questions about it all you can ask me anything and I shall answer! :3
Good luck on your journey!
Thank you! My plan is to get my bottom surgery hopefully next summer! I can't wait! I be calling it V-Day! (V for Vagina) xD
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You have always made me feel welcome and loved! I hope I will make you feel the same.
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You have always made me feel welcome and loved! I hope I will make you feel the same.
You're welcome! I'm glad! =^.^=
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I have been meaning to do this a while ago, but I want to join my story of coming out as transgender and discrimination I faced. I feel like this is important enough to show the struggles of being trans to non-trans people, but also I want to open up a little bit to people on AP.
! To start off with, I was born as intersex, or how I like to call it intersex male due to my biology sorta being male but not really. I raised as a male, though there were signs of me wanting to female. Specifically, like hating my private part and always sitting down to pee.
! I started hating having hair on my body, which is everywhere except on my head and eyebrows. I started to shave the hair off one part at a time. I didn't want to get caught by my mother who would frown about that. I started with just my wrists, then my chest, then finally my legs. (Somewhere around there my private area.) This was around 2010.
! I also had a period of crossdressing. It started after I dressed up as a girl for Halloween. I started to like the idea of painting my nails and wearing skirts! For work, I start to wear women's jeans. I think this helped me closer to figuring out who I really am to be.
! In 2012, I started to question my sex/gender, so I was confused if I wanted to be male or female. Eventually, I decided to be female, since a lot of the signs were there. I realized I was female because I picture myself with a female body AKA breasts and a vagina. This last part was a little down later on the road where I started to question again why I was transitioning, but it helped strengthen why I am a woman.
! I got my hormones on August 28, 2012! I started off with estrogen and two weeks later with testosterone blockers. When I got those blockers I finally started to present myself as a woman at my job at the time. I worked at a Walmart in Branson, Missouri. I did start to tell people about me changing sex/gender so I felt like I was too open. I did meet another trans woman who actually helped me get my hormones. She worked there at Home Office though later resigned to pursue her own thing.
! Now, here is where I started to face discrimination for being a transsexual. It was about the whole bathroom issue. I was basically stuck with either going to the men's or the private family bathroom in the far back of the store. Which is what I stuck with, the private bathroom, as I was uncomfortable with the idea of going to the men's.
! After some time in 2013, I decided to ask about using the female bathroom since I was passing more. One manager was fine, but he went to another one, and that one had a talk with me. He literally told me I couldn't go to the women's restroom till I got my bottom surgery. So, I decided to report him for discrimination.
! When I talked with the home office lady, everything came crashing down. She was on his side and not mine. I tried to fight, and she went so far to say that since Missouri didn't have transgender protections, she won't do anything. Apparently, it was such a big deal that I was male first and then changed to female, so apparently she was "thinking of the other women who worked there." That night I was so pissed where I imagined all the lights in the store just blinking out of existence.
! I tried to reach out to others to get support, but… that led to the truth of how people really thought of me. They "accepted" me but when it came to the bathroom issue, they showed their true colors. I remember one lady mocking me -- She was like "You, a woman?" and then she scoffed at it. I also felt betrayed by another friend who was female. She felt uncomfortable sharing the bathroom with me.
! After some time, I had another bathroom option, which was thanks to the new customer service manager. You see, I was basically a cashier at the time, so it was a pain to go to the back. The other bathroom option was to use the washroom located in the abandoned doctor's office. This option was great till the place got taken for some other usage.
! Sometime between all that, I had to deal with a customer who was very rude. He basically went around harassing me by calling me sir. I tried to reach out to a manager, but it was the same one who rejected the bathroom thing. He was like "Not all people will accept you, and I just had to deal with that." Instead of you know, making it so that I can feel at peace at work.
! Another incident I had that I'm sure it was transphobia was the switch from overnights to working in the daytime. I was told I was supposed to find my replacement, which I did, and then they rejected him. Apparently, they wanted him to be a stocker, but he wanted to stay as a cashier. And like he was supposed to be my replacement, so why not stay as cashier? It was just a pain and stressful moment. I then learned that it wasn't up to me to find someone to replace, it was management's job. After I complained enough I finally got to work on days.
! Eventually, I learned through research that Walmart itself that transgender protections. So, I went to a different manager that knew me and told him my story and struggles with this whole bathroom thing. He decided to go through home office, but I told him about the home office lady that was rude. So, he went through another person that was in the higher ups. And a few days later, he talked to me and said I can choose to go to any bathroom I wanted.
! After a happy moment, a few months later - 2015, I ended up getting a stalker who worked there. Her name is Polly and she scared me greatly; I felt very uncomfortable around her and tried to be friends. I decided to cut her off but still work with her if needed. (Though I refused to speak to her.) She was extremely obsessed about me to the point where she left a creepy letter on my car saying she watches when I sleep at my lunch break and even admitted she will try to sexual assault me because she couldn't resist.
! Sexual assault as in basically kiss attacking me on the lips. That really scared me and I got stuck working on a few registers close to my bosses. I was to park where the cameras could see me. This was to help me feel safe.
! It gotten worse though where Polly decided to ask someone that worked there to spy on me when I go to Denny's... that was the last straw and I quit my job. Walmart did nothing for several months and all I had to deal with going to work was being scared. I wanted to sue Walmart, but I was too cowardly to stand up for myself, so I gave up.
! In 2016, I moved to my current city of Pittsburgh from Missouri. I wanted to go to a place where there was transgender protections. The only really transphobia I faced was from customers. (I worked at a Dollar General around this time.) Like using the wrong pronouns even if I corrected them telling them that I am woman. I still face some of that to this day, I don't mind slip-ups but if after I tell you and you still refuse to disrespect me, I'm done being nice.
! Nowadays, I'm still scarred by the past, like even though I have protections to use facilities, I still get that paranoia and fear. Like at college, I was brave enough to use the showers there after using the gym, though it sucks it was open showers, so I just had my underwear on to feel safe and not scare anyone with the part I still have. Lucky for me, no one really used them, so it was nice.
! There was some other things too, like my mom not accepting me for who I am, though I have been reconnecting with her, and making her an exception to call me by my birth name. She isn't good with change, and I feel like once she sees me as who I am, she will start to see the truth and accept me. The good news is since I graduated in the spring of this year, my brother showed her my degree, and she didn't get triggered by my name on there! So, that is progress.
! As for surgeries, I only had laser hair removal which helped my face look more feminine. I do need more work on my voice as it sounds gender neutral and I want to sound like more like a woman. I also plan on getting bottom surgery, and lucky for me, Medicaid in my state can cover it. Though I have to get a BMI of 30 before I can even get it, but that's a goal I have been working on, so I can finally feel complete and be me.
! If you read up to this point, thank you for taking the time to read all this! I had quite a journey, but I'm happy that these days people are becoming more accepting of people like me. There's still a lot of progress, but I know eventually people will be understanding over time. I always try to educate others about this. With sharing my story, I'm educating everyone about my life as a trans woman. But anyways, thanks again for taking the time to read this! I hope it helped give some light on how life is for a trans person like me! :happy:Thank you for sharing your story, starlalilymoon and best wishes on your journey as well.
I recently began studying intersexuality (is this the right wording?) and was amazed by how common it is, contrary to popular belief. I also learned about some misconceptions about it, some that I even fell for. For example, I used to believe that people with chromosomes that are not exclusively XX or XY have medical issues, such as Turner or Down Syndrome, but that's not the case for all of them. I'm also glad that being transgender is becoming more accepted, even though there's still progress to be made, such as having more accommodations and stopping hate. Please keep us updated on how things go.
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Thank you for sharing your story, starlalilymoon and best wishes on your journey as well.
Sorry for late response, but you're welcome!
Please keep us updated on how things go.
Yes, I shall!
Small update: I'm actually planning on getting facial feminization surgery to make my face be more feminine. I have been losing weight too, which is great! As I need a BMI of 30 to get my surgery! If I keep at this rate, I can get my bottom surgery in the summer of 2023! Here's hoping! I just wish science could make me preggy like any other woman, but maybe one day for future trans women, there might be! :happy:
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Technically should be in the politics thread but the dangerous idiocy in this legislation can’t be understated
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I feel honestly sickened and I can't bring myself to read more about this right now. Between this, that new Texan thing and my own country's propaganda campaign, it seems like this period really wants to fuck over LGBTQ people.
Part of my seriously wants to just shut it all out, and hide away from the news, because I feel I don't have the mental energy to deal with this, what with having to prepare myself for the biggest surgery of my life (both in scope and financially). Reminds me of one of my earlier talks with a psychologist where the subject of supportive parents and environments came up concerning trans kids, and I said something along the lines of "well, that sounds sort of ideal and idyllic isn't it" to which the psychologist replied "regardless, it's still a difficult situation, being trans, and even with support it's a tough road to follow".
Even with great friends, a good psychologist and a stable job, it's a daunting task. I'll still keep on going forward, I just wish I wouldn't have to trudge through exorbitant amount of shit in the process.
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It's a last gasp at discriminating while they still can… but it's widely accepted enough now that there will be pushback and it won't last.
It's incredibly bad right this minute and SUCKS, just like all the monstrous anti-abortion laws going on, but it won't last.
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Interesting. I'll have to look into this "1 in 5" figure.
I just hope that in the meantime, these stupid laws won't kill any unfortunate kids.A slightly different subject (warning: long rant ahead):
! I'm part of a Hungarian trans group on Facebook, and of course the Ukrainian crisis has brought to the forefront the subject of mandatory service and the army.
There's some fear, especially among those who transitioned to male, which is understandable (as a transman I share these fears as well). Others doubt any kind of general draft will come into effect in connection to the ongoing crisis. There are those who prepare (at least mentally) to leave for the West should our dear leaders begin entertaining such ideas.
! Nothing extraordinary so far.
! Then came two comments which at first infuriated me, and after that, made me think.
! One of those was along the lines of "transmen, if you want to enjoy the good parts of your transition, you also have to accept the bad aspects as well" (referring to the draft).
I want to note here that Hungary has had no enforced conscription since 2004. So draft hasn't really been a "part of being a man" for my generation. Regardless, it's still a bit eyebrow-raising, insinuating that by transitioning to male, we have to absolutely accept the notion of involuntary conscription. That it is an immutable characteristic of "being a man", just like the very real and frequent possibility of male-pattern baldness should one pursue hormone therapy. Or any other illness that affects men in a bigger percentage due to physiological reasons in connection with hormones. I freely admit that while evaluating the pros and cons, the benefits and risks of starting my transition (both physically and socially) the idea of draft hasn't crossed my mind, or at least I didn't dwell on it for a significant amount of time for what I believe were very understandable reasons. It is, I'd argue, not an inherent part of being a man and I have not yet heard arguments sufficiently proving the opposite.
! The other comment still makes my blood boil, but I'll try and be as reasonable as possible.
The commenter basically said, that here would be a perfect opportunity for transpeople (they didn't specify transmen here, so for my argument I'll assume it concerns all transpeople regardless of gender) to fight for their own acceptance, to "prove themselves (?)". If transpeople were so quick to protest for our rights to change our legal names and gender (a right that has been taken from us) by "burning id cards" and "chanting into megaphones" (their examples), we should be just as ready to "defend our nation".
! Setting aside the fact that our nation (Hungary) is very much not in danger of invasion and hasn't declared war or joined openly in the conflict between Ukraine and Russia… I have a lot of problems with all these points.
! First and easiest is the propaganda-like evocation of a "call to defend the father/mother/parentofchoice-land" as a solemn duty that elevates a person's inner worth. I don't think there are lot of people in my generation (trans of otherwise) that really subscribe to such old-school patriotism. I'm first and foremost a human being who happened to be born in a place currently assigned to the nation of Hungary. I am Hungarian by definition, but I feel no significant emotional bond with the nation or the land. I like aspects of the culture, but that can be said for the culture of any other nation.
! Second, I honestly don't understand what this person's problem is with peaceful protesting. Getting together in a public place and performing acts of rebellion that are meant to draw attention to perceived injustices is a perfectly legit way of making yourself heard and fighting for your rights. How would grabbing arms and fighting other people prove better that transpeople should have the same rights as everyone else?
! This ties into my third point, which is... Is it truly just to suggest, that to be considered full-fledged citizens, transpeople would need to join the army and possibly die or get seriously injured? Would a hypothetical transperson only gain the same level of rights as due cispeople if they serve their nation by offering their own blood? How many medals does this person need to be perceived as worthy of living in this nation the same way as everyone else?
! Why are basic human rights something that isn't inherently given to someone who isn't fully cis-hetero? Why do transpeople have to perform certain actions and make certain sacrifices to gain what is given automatically to others just by the virtue of being born? Where is the line in the sand that we have to cross and what are the guarantees that by crossing this line we prove ourselves in a sufficient manner and gain what we desire? How perfect of a patriotic citizen do we need to be?
! How perfect do each and every one of us, no exceptions, need to be to be treated as everyone else?
! Could we ever gain the right to be anything but perfect? The right to make mistakes, to be flawed, to be ordinary, to be... simply "meh"? -
She doesn't miss a single chance to further drag down her already piss poor reputation.
https://variety.com/2022/film/news/jk-rowling-opposes-reform-bill-trans-people-gender-1235198750/ -
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I joined the forum in 2006 and came out in late 2018 and still haven't posted in this thread. Whoops. Anyway, I think it's pretty well known at this point that I'm a bisexual trans woman. Surprise if you didn't know!
In less fun news: a Colorado Springs queer club (Club Q) was shot up last night during a drag performance. Today is Trans Day of Remberance. Considering how often trans people are confused for being inherently drag performers this definitely does not read a a coincidence to me. https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/11/20/colorado-springs-lgbtq-clubq-shooting/
Trans Activist Erin Reed discusses how social media is being used by transphobes to encourage and direct hate: https://erininthemorn.substack.com/p/hours-after-lgbtq-mass-shooting-in
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I think it's unmistakably a hate crime. Shouldn't be a surprise though, unfortunately, given the scapegoating and fear mongering regarding trans people (and drag) in the recent years.
It feels incredibly disgusting and depressing to think this was only a matter of time.
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Yeah, it's absolutely a hate crime. Being as involved in the community both locally and on the internet as I am I seethe at how little is done both within government and socially to make these monsters genuinely fear retribution.
The fascists fear us because we represent cultral and social change when they ought to fear us because we don't put up with their shit.
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I would never challenge an angry drag queen.
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One of the victims is from my town and potentially went to my university (given the fact that some of my LGBT friends from that there knew him). I didn't know him, but that hits a little close to home.
This is only the natural progression of the disgusting demonization that the right has drilled into many bigots heads that LGBT people are predators and are a danger to children. It's infuriating beyond reason. Those who have thrown around the term "groomer" (a term that has an actual important meaning but has been perverted by the right) have blood on their hands. They also have the tears of many of my LGBT friends who have lost a friend to senseless violence. Not that they care. Caring about other people is out of fashion in the right wing nowadays.
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They only care about "their own" people.
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No they only care about themselves to hell with friends and family.
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https://erininthemorn.substack.com/p/south-carolina-just-proposed-an-adult
The legislative genocide attempts continue.
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So Cancun Teddy's 14yo bi daughter tried to kill herself yesterday...
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@pariston_hill said in Talk LGBT Issues And Be Nice About It:
So Cancun Teddy's 14yo bi daughter tried to kill herself yesterday...
Dang, I hope Child Protective Services does something about that.
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This is fucking abhorrent. https://www.liberationnews.org/trans-woman-arrested-accused-of-being-man-in-dress-by-texas-police/
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I’d say this makes a perfectly good excuse to sue the state and the police. But even that’s a proposition with some bullshit risk.
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@Time-Control-Magician said in Talk LGBT Issues And Be Nice About It:
I’d say this makes a perfectly good excuse to sue the state and the police. But even that’s a proposition with some bullshit risk.
It's almost impossible to sue the government and that doesn't even factor in police retaliation of some sort. It's disgusting.
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Sad but true.
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@pariston_hill said in Talk LGBT Issues And Be Nice About It:
UK terfs are now quoting Hitler.
Really goes to show how these creeps all think alike.
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They’re all just standing there like, “Yeah! Mein Kampf! Quote that shit!”
Queer Brenda is awesome. I really hate Nazis.
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I know this is a double post but this needs to be known! The Worlds Very First Trans Clinic