Hey everyone! So in the last couple of years, I've been going through what I eventually figured out was gender dysphoria. To the point where I got so uncomfortable in my own body that I was having mental breakdowns for seemingly no reason. I identified as nonbinary for a while and that seemed to feel pretty good. But being called a girl was starting to feel so very wrong.
September 2019, I finally realized that I was trans. Everything started to make sense. I started getting into the idea of using They/He pronouns, I hadn't come out to my mom at the time. I started taking T around October that year, started micro dosing and eventually decided to increase the doses. (Needles are terrifying!) I was so scared to come out to my mom and dad, like they were gonna disown me or something. Anyway, right before New Year's, my mother came to visit me from Texas (I live in Oregon), and I had plans to come out to her, and it honestly went better than I thought, but not the greatest outcome. I finally felt safe to come out in general, by this time being more comfortable with using He/Him pronouns. She took it well, but still misgenders me, less so now. She is definitely getting better about just using my preferred name vs my dead name.
After a year of doing the weekly shots, I finally switched to using the gel, a topical that gets applied daily. I've been liking it more (less pain and less anxiety and me waiting with a needle hovering over my stomach for hours before finally getting it done…). Really excited to start seeing a bit more muscle mass as well as facial hair starting to happen. Hoping to have sideburns! (I doubt anyone here will remember back in the day how I was obsessed with guys that had sideburns... I blame Zoro, lmfao)
I had top surgery last May, and that was the most relieving thing ever! First week was pure hell, and it sucked not being able to lift heavy for a while, but the timing was definitely interesting considering the pandemic. I was able to get back to working about a month later, right around when Portland opened up again.
It definitely feels interesting going through puberty again in my late 30's.
I just got approved for gender affirming surgery. It's not GRS, but it's something I've been very sensitive about for a long time that I don't know if I want to specify thanks to that sensitivity but I have a SURGERY DATE so I'm getting it fixed!!
I am SO excited! (And also a little nervous)
Ahhh that's really exciting! Congrats! Surgeries are so nerve racking but you got this!