@square:
Disregarding others can be useful to a point, but there is a way to understand and tolerate those who may not understand you. I imagine it's hard when they don't give you anything to work with, but I guess when you're dealing with the unknown that's where the self comes in.
This is a bit difficult for me to write, as it's something I don't really understand or practice myself, simply because it's easier not to. Sometimes I feel like we were born to fight, disregard, and hate that which we don't understand. I wonder what the likelihood of that observation stemming from my own negativity is, hahaha.
@Purple:
It's less about disregarding people and knowing when to stick your guns and saying what you want to say. Self confidence is not about opposition per se. Lack of placing yourself in a person's hands doesn't mean hating anyone. It just means that you do as you please. Even if there isn't a crowd there for you to feel something from, you should still be able to muster up the same sort of feeling that "this is good."
It becomes especially important when there is opposition, yes, but I think for now, Crystal is doing fine just setting herself up for success and feeling more "self-confidence" than "self-doubt." I think in the context of what she was saying, she's having a moment now where she is at a crossroad where her old self is knocking at the door and reminding her of the past, but she is definitely more than capable of moving past those sorts of chains to better things.
Afterward, of course you take in that which is good and expel that which is bad from your surroundings, but this is more about her realizing her own inner potential.
All of what Purple Hermit said.
Also, I actually feel that I come across as calmer and less hostile when I communicate what I'm really feeling. Because when I'm afraid to communicate those feelings, or I've thoroughly convinced myself that I can't, then I get frustrated. And my only recourse then, is to either obfuscate what I really mean (usually by writing a sarcastic one-liner that nobody can really understand) or attack. Both of which are just ways of shouting out to the heavens while "minimizing personal risk to myself". The irony of course being that, when I unnecessarily instigate a confrontation or otherwise write something that I regret, I'm actually increasing the personal risk to myself. And hurting other people in the process. Which is not what anybody wants.
But when I do feel confident enough in myself that I can communicate those feelings, then it's more clear to other people what's bothering me and why it is that I'm feeling upset. There can be a dialogue and I can get help, not that anybody is obligated to help me, but it's obviously better than preventing myself from getting help at all. And there's less risk of me hurting other people.
Which leads me to another long confession about my own identity,
my feelings about my own identity, Hayao Miyazaki, Studio Ghibli, and what it means to be strong.
But it's going to be so long that I'll save it for my next post.