I am a gay guy who is into regular guys next door type. I have a thing for caucasian male. Especially pale ones. Tanned six packs guys aren't really my thing. That's why i am sort of keeping it to myself whenever i browse to post your pics thread, looking at you attractive gents. I could sit here for hours getting aroused. I am sorry if this confession makes some you offended because you feel objectified or something.
Confession Session - LOCK THIS THREAD
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I am a gay guy who is into regular guys next door type. I have a thing for caucasian male. Especially pale ones. Tanned six packs guys aren't really my thing. That's why i am sort of keeping it to myself whenever i browse to post your pics thread, looking at you attractive gents. I could sit here for hours getting aroused. I am sorry if this confession makes some you offended because you feel objectified or something.
Lol don't stress. I think most people would be flattered to hear you call them attractive. Regardless of if they are gay, straight or otherwise.
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You guys are so real. I believe the last time i emotionally suffered was in 2008.
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All of what Purple Hermit said.
Also, I actually feel that I come across as calmer and less hostile when I communicate what I'm really feeling. Because when I'm afraid to communicate those feelings, or I've thoroughly convinced myself that I can't, then I get frustrated. And my only recourse then, is to either obfuscate what I really mean (usually by writing a sarcastic one-liner that nobody can really understand) or attack. Both of which are just ways of shouting out to the heavens while "minimizing personal risk to myself". The irony of course being that, when I unnecessarily instigate a confrontation or otherwise write something that I regret, I'm actually increasing the personal risk to myself. And hurting other people in the process. Which is not what anybody wants.
But when I do feel confident enough in myself that I can communicate those feelings, then it's more clear to other people what's bothering me and why it is that I'm feeling upset. There can be a dialogue and I can get help, not that anybody is obligated to help me, but it's obviously better than preventing myself from getting help at all. And there's less risk of me hurting other people.
Which leads me to another long confession about my own identity,
my feelings about my own identity, Hayao Miyazaki, Studio Ghibli, and what it means to be strong.But it's going to be so long that I'll save it for my next post.
I look forward to reading this _
I've never had a problem with communicating my feelings, I've always been very vocal about my displeasure, to the point its a problem. One of the giant obstacles I had to get over was stewing about people who piss me off, and also getting mad at other people who do the same thing and don't communicate their feelings. I strongly dislike people that won't tell you why they're pissed off, even if you would tell them. A lot of my anxiety stemmed from not being able to tell why people were mad but I had to teach myself that it really doesn't matter, and that it's none of my business. If someone wants to be pissy and negative all the time and get pissed off and quit talking to me over stupid reasons, I don't need that person as a friend. It felt kind of harsh at first, but it definitely became easy after a little time had passed.
Now I know more when its appropriate to communicate and when it's not appropriate to share much. I'm so proud of myself from stopping a lot of the complaining and moaning, there's still some but I think it's within more reasonable bounds. And not giving a shit about worrying what others are thinking about or if they're mad at me has done wonders. I would never deliberately try to piss a friend off or offend them but if they can't tell me what's wrong, thats a bigger statement on them as a person than myself.
I suppose this doesn't apply to everyone, but when I try to apply the value of "good" to something, it doesn't check out unless I have a reality to bounce it off of. Of course, I can substitute my own reality and force it to my expectations, but given humanity and its desire for societal validation it would probably be constantly threatened and unstable. Though, I do understand that there are some things you simply cannot know for sure and must apply a subjective judgement to anyway. I guess that's where the whole concept of hope is born.
Otherwise, the fact that success starts with belief in one's self I am in no way opposing.
I definitely think that you have to start with building your self confidence/believing in yourself because at the end of the day, the only one you can really fall back onto is yourself, your grounds, your own morals, etc. etc. If you don't have the strength to stand on your own feet and state how you feel about things/the world and be fine with that, you don't go anywhere but sitting a muck pile of hatred, self loathing/pity, and doubt that's well above your head. Or as is the case of a lot of people, stuck in an endless loop of anxiety.
And logical thinking is definitely a good way to work out things in your mind and separate yourself emotionally from problems and issues, but don't think about it too hard or too literally. There is a ton of grey, and accepting the grey as a probability makes it much easier to go with the flow. I don't know if what I said makes any sense so sorry if it's confusing. I don't know how to properly express it with words, it's just how I choose to live my life.
I am a gay guy who is into regular guys next door type. I have a thing for caucasian male. Especially pale ones. Tanned six packs guys aren't really my thing. That's why i am sort of keeping it to myself whenever i browse to post your pics thread, looking at you attractive gents. I could sit here for hours getting aroused. I am sorry if this confession makes some you offended because you feel objectified or something.
Now THIS is a confession.
You guys are so real. I believe the last time i emotionally suffered was in 2008.
… Good for you? Really, must be nice.
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… Good for you? Really, must be nice.
Not being able to feel and never get to really connect with anybody?
I can understand your perspective but i don't think so.
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Well you didn't say /that/ :P
No, that is pretty shitty.
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And logical thinking is definitely a good way to work out things in your mind and separate yourself emotionally from problems and issues, but don't think about it too hard or too literally. There is a ton of grey, and accepting the grey as a probability makes it much easier to go with the flow. I don't know if what I said makes any sense so sorry if it's confusing. I don't know how to properly express it with words, it's just how I choose to live my life.
No, I understand. It's the same thing Purple was saying about self confidence not being about opposition intrisically.
Not being able to feel and never get to really connect with anybody?
I can understand your perspective but i don't think so.
Heh, being a cold machine of logic can be useful sometimes. If you read enough posts in here you'll be glad to skip out on concepts like romance, due to their destructive potential.
Unless you're Aspergers-ish where you want to connect but don't know how, then I pity you.
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Confession time. I hate when someone tells me what to do. I know everyone may hate it, but even as an advice, when someone tells me what I should do, without asking an advice just randomly, without even knowing me well.
Like someone who was having happy time with their friends randomly writes me that I should go out with friends often and have fun. Once Some other one tells me how they shouldn't keep secret about me, 'cause I should be more free about telling things to others, and not hide it. Like it wasn't to be decided by me.
When someone does this I can't help but say awful things to them, little bit of insult, little bit of hurtful things…
And I always hate when I'm being pressured, I can't stand it, I would just stop doing everything if someone were to pressure me.And another confession: I can't insult someone or something or generally in my own language, I always use English, though don't do it much.
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I am a gay guy who is into regular guys next door type. I have a thing for caucasian male. Especially pale ones. Tanned six packs guys aren't really my thing. That's why i am sort of keeping it to myself whenever i browse to post your pics thread, looking at you attractive gents. I could sit here for hours getting aroused. I am sorry if this confession makes some you offended because you feel objectified or something.
Common courtesy says that you post your pictures as well so others can objectify you in return. Otherwise it's just not fair. :P
Not that it really affects me in any way, but who knows, maybe some of the gay guys or straight ladies here would want that? idk
Confession time. I hate when someone tells me what to do. I know everyone may hate it, but even as an advice, when someone tells me what I should do, without asking an advice just randomly, without even knowing me well.
Like someone who was having happy time with their friends randomly writes me that I should go out with friends often and have fun. Once Some other one tells me how they shouldn't keep secret about me, 'cause I should be more free about telling things to others, and not hide it. Like it wasn't to be decided by me.
When someone does this I can't help but say awful things to them, little bit of insult, little bit of hurtful things…
And I always hate when I'm being pressured, I can't stand it, I would just stop doing everything if someone were to pressure me.And another confession: I can't insult someone or something or generally in my own language, I always use English, though don't do it much.
I can somewhat relate to this, although I don't get as much angry as I get completely unmotivated. Like if I am not prompted to do things for people, I'll try to come up with the nicest gestures possible, but if someone tells me that I HAVE to do something, be it for myself or someone else, then my motivation just completely shuts down. Getting to the point where I have to figure out how to deal with this at work where everyone loves telling me what to do, even as I am already doing it.
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I was getting so much better. I felt like an entirely new and beautiful person. A blank slate who was ready and eager to explore this beautiful world.
And in some ways, I'm still so much better than I was before. Because I'm still determined not to hurt other people. I don't want to do that anymore.But keeping it together… Is getting so, so hard.
The dysphoria's back, the sense of helplessness, it's back. I'm relapsing. And I don't want to. For the first time ever, I'm totally conscious of what's happening, and I have a will to stop it. I don't want to be the person I was, ever again. I'm so sorry that so many people here, let alone elsewhere, have had to deal with that person. This may sound strange considering what I just said, but I do have a lot of respect for the person I was. They were so, so strong. Strong enough to keep me in hibernation, to keep me alive and get me this far. But they're not me. That wasn't me. And I don't want to be them anymore.
The problem is, even if I'm restraining myself from hurting people, the feelings that led to those actions are still around, they're coming back. For some reason, I thought that if I kept positive, then everything might get better. And to some extent that's true, positivity breeds more positivity. Yesterday was one of the best days of my life. But it can't solve everything on its own, not for me. So for now, I'm going to hold it together as best I can, while accepting that it's not over. It's not over yet, and it's not going to be over, not for a long time. The best I can do is know that it's going to be over someday. Know that it's already better than it used to be. That I'm better than I used to be. Just because I still have nights like these, when I can't stop the tears, doesn't mean I'm not strong. I am a strong person. Not every day is rainbows for me, like it was yesterday. It doesn't mean I'm not a good, worthwhile person. I am worth happiness. And I'll have it someday.
Take this as an apology, but also as a declaration.
Despite not quite understanding you, you have all my support. You are nice and kind to me so I answer back the same way! :D
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I am a gay guy who is into regular guys next door type. I have a thing for caucasian male. Especially pale ones. Tanned six packs guys aren't really my thing. That's why i am sort of keeping it to myself whenever i browse to post your pics thread, looking at you attractive gents. I could sit here for hours getting aroused. I am sorry if this confession makes some you offended because you feel objectified or something.
I'm not a Caucasian male but i will take this compliment because i want to feel loved.
Ok, i promised way back that i did something horrible and i would tell it here.
I Knowingly had sex with a friend of mine that's been in love with me for years. I only did it for fun and i may have hurted her feelings in the process. We both like having sex with each other but she thinks it may lead to a relationship. I know it never will. She really likes (or liked) me but i can't see myself with her. I may be scarring her in this way and this time i think i did it as a rebound for some rejection from another person. I didn't like it. At all. And i feel guilty about it. i've had never had sex in my life that i hadn't enjoyed. This time it was like a gaping hole in my stomach opened. :/
maybe it was because it was a short session (normally we take more time, this time it was half an hour). I don't know, she tells me she liked it but i didn't feel right after it. Has reality finally catched up with me and i feel guilty about having only one-night stands? :/
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I'm not a Caucasian male but i will take this compliment because i want to feel loved.
Ok, i promised way back that i did something horrible and i would tell it here.
I Knowingly had sex with a friend of mine that's been in love with me for years. I only did it for fun and i may have hurted her feelings in the process. We both like having sex with each other but she thinks it may lead to a relationship. I know it never will. She really likes (or liked) me but i can't see myself with her. I may be scarring her in this way and this time i think i did it as a rebound for some rejection from another person. I didn't like it. At all. And i feel guilty about it. i've had never had sex in my life that i hadn't enjoyed. This time it was like a gaping hole in my stomach opened. :/
maybe it was because it was a short session (normally we take more time, this time it was half an hour). I don't know, she tells me she liked it but i didn't feel right after it. Has reality finally catched up with me and i feel guilty about having only one-night stands? :/
! The fact you come here and mention openly that what you did is a horrible thing makes it clear that the reason you didn't enjoy is precisely because of that. You're simply using this girl as an easy source of self-esteem when someone else rejects you, and as a result you're not respecting who she is and pretty much walking all over her feelings. And the sad thing is that she'll convince herself she's ok with that because she wants to be there for you or w.e., but in the end it's just harming both of you.
! Now, it's clear that you need to cut that source of easy sex/love as best as possible, even if it means that for some time your friendship with her will be even more at risk than it should be now. But it has to be done, you can't keep someone on a hook like that. It's not fair to her or you.
! For background, I actually had a very very similar situation back in my school days. I kept getting rejected by this person I was obsessed with, and kept re-bounding back to my ex-girlfriend who had decided to remain friends with me. We messed around like that for years and it wasn't until I finally got the courage to end that that we both were finally able to just move on and enjoy new relationships and environments. She obviously got over me and has her own awesome relationship where she is loved now, and I have mine.
! Now, if it was just sex for the sake of sex, then that'd be a different story. But since you have such confidence that her emotions are in the way, then you need to stop that now before you harm each other more. Guess that's really all that can be said about that.
Also, if other girls reject you just, you know, be ok with being on your own. Nothing wrong with that. Fabricating sexual encounters with people you don't care about just leads to two people having that gaping loneliness since you're not there for her and she probably doesn't feel you there either.
Add on to that, you can't just feel loved by going home with someone you don't care about. Sure, someone wants you and that's something we all like, but that's vapid. The fact you're settling for that with someone you're not interested just screams to me that you're not loving yourself in the first place and don't deem yourself worthy of the people you want. And until that changes you can't really get anywhere.
Just be on your own, learn to love yourself first, then go and see about finding a girl. Should give you enough time to recover from this stage of rebounding into friends. -
Guys…I cant do this anymore. I just cant. Everyone thinks Im dumb and stupid and I just cant stand it anymore.
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Guys…I cant do this anymore. I just cant. Everyone thinks Im dumb and stupid and I just cant stand it anymore.
Calm down mate. If you knew the things people said about me irl, and I never got bothered by it.
Just hang in there.
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Guys…I cant do this anymore. I just cant. Everyone thinks Im dumb and stupid and I just cant stand it anymore.
I don't think that. I really appreciate your support. :)
Now for my confession: I just got done looking over the footage from tonight, and I REALLY hate my voice. Like a lot. :C
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Guys…I cant do this anymore. I just cant. Everyone thinks Im dumb and stupid and I just cant stand it anymore.
Well, fuck 'em if they can't appreciate you but there will always be people that see how an awesome person you are.
And hey, if there is no one else you can always count on me! write in my profile and i will answer. I won't always be able to be there at the moment but you can always have a friend in me.
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Guys…I cant do this anymore. I just cant. Everyone thinks Im dumb and stupid and I just cant stand it anymore.
In my experience, you usually can do laps around the people who dare bother to call you dumb and stupid. The most judgemental are usually the most inferior to you. Don't let it get you down, Oathkeeper. It's hard, especially if/when it's coming from your family (you didn't specify but personally some of the worst criticisms and insults usually come from family) One day you'll do something awesome that makes everyone else look like assholes for putting you down. Just keep on truckin', you will get there!
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I'm not a Caucasian male but i will take this compliment because i want to feel loved.
Ok, i promised way back that i did something horrible and i would tell it here.
I Knowingly had sex with a friend of mine that's been in love with me for years. I only did it for fun and i may have hurted her feelings in the process. We both like having sex with each other but she thinks it may lead to a relationship. I know it never will. She really likes (or liked) me but i can't see myself with her. I may be scarring her in this way and this time i think i did it as a rebound for some rejection from another person. I didn't like it. At all. And i feel guilty about it. i've had never had sex in my life that i hadn't enjoyed. This time it was like a gaping hole in my stomach opened. :/
maybe it was because it was a short session (normally we take more time, this time it was half an hour). I don't know, she tells me she liked it but i didn't feel right after it. Has reality finally catched up with me and i feel guilty about having only one-night stands? :/
What Noqanky said.
! Essentially, I have no particular interest in lecturing someone for sex for the sake of sex. Everyone has their own approach and pace to life. But to knowingly enter into something as intimate and emotional as that while aware that the person has feelings you are not capable of reciprocating is something that is very, very low, frankly speaking.
! At the most basic level, I do think you see that, as Noqanky pointed out, and that she should not be used in a manner that in the long run will hurt the both of you. In the big scheme of things, rejection hurts, of course. But to offload that sort of stress and injure someone else in the process is something that just gives evidence that you weren't strong enough to enter a serious relationship without producing some destructive tendencies. This may or may not be true, but your actions must speak for your thoughts in a way that you as a person are capable of handling emotional turmoil with some level of maturity.
! Believe that you are strong and prove that notion wrong. Uphold your own standards and do not sink yourself lower just to fill that hole that was left by rejection. Not only does it objectify your friend as someone who is there solely for your relief, it also makes the mistaken assumption that that sort of free and easy reward is comparable in substance to a relationship, which is what you really wanted. But replacing "nothing" with something that is also "nothing" will not provide "substance" and in the end will only leave you wanting more. It may be difficult and a bit lonely, but you must persevere, if for that reason and for the reason that when you finally enter into a real relationship again that it will be all the sweeter.On a recently similar note, I got rejected by a girl, but I guess she didn't feel comfortable and ended up blocking me on facebook. Err… I thought she was just busy, and a female friend recommended showing a bit of persistence after she said yes to a date initially but couldn't get a time. But I guess she just got creeped out by it a bit. Idk, I just wish people were sometimes a bit more straightforward with saying yes/no instead of not responding, especially because she seemed infrequent with even regular messages. But I guess if that bit of persistence was uncomfortable, the least I feel I should do is apologize, but I can't even do that, which at this point leaves me nothing to do but go on.
Agdh, I'm only recently back into the game of playing seriously, so I've come to realize that I know nothing about being impulsive and getting numbers. Both of my previous girlfriends were people I came to know as friends initially, and after being cheated on and getting kinda messed up after my second one, it only came to reinforce that sort of shielded thing and aimed only to get into a relationship with someone after knowing them for a bit. But that's just something I need to revise and improve on to play the game.
It's... a shame. I liked that sort of prospect. A girl who was smart and able to admit fault to grow from it. But I suppose my view on life is that, save for that one girlfriend, the people I've met and liked have those sorts of excellent attributes, and whether it is rejection or a misunderstanding, that sort of thing shouldn't change that view. Especially because when I meet and get to know that person for me, I'm absolutely certain she'll be better than all the rest, even these people who are meet the bar for being good.
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Thanks everyone. You guys are awesome.
Im much better now. Sorry for worrying you.
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Thanks everyone. You guys are awesome.
Im much better now. Sorry for worrying you.
Don't worry about it mate, we all have problems sometimes XD
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@Toraish:
If Smudge wants to start a discussion on something that he aims to "change people's thoughts about", he would need to go far deeper into the whole set of cultural and intellectual stimuli and processes mainly responsible for the commonest conventions that people have about such a matter and to question them, which doesn't really happen all that often.
This topic is so broad and complex that I doubt my own ability to even give it form, let alone a conclusion. I think I'm going to have to write about a whole multitude of topics and somehow weave them together in the hope of finding a point. Even the name of the subject is elusive, as its something I can only try to forcefully parallel against something from the history books.
This is something that essentially involves me researching a great deal of topics, figures and whatnot before being able to even take a stance.
I feel like an ant in a library, Hopelessly trying to understand something that is too vast and big for me. And my summary or random stuff I spewed to someone the other day is only really just my confusion showing itself in bold text. My mind right now, is that of a blunt knife.
In short; I don't hold confidence at my ability to do this. I will try, but I know it will be lacking, and that actually saddens me more than you folks might realize.
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This topic is so broad and complex that I doubt my own ability to even give it form, let alone a conclusion. I think I'm going to have to write about a whole multitude of topics and somehow weave them together in the hope of finding a point. Even the name of the subject is elusive, as its something I can only try to forcefully parallel against something from the history books.
This is something that essentially involves me researching a great deal of topics, figures and whatnot before being able to even take a stance.
I feel like an ant in a library, Hopelessly trying to understand something that is too vast and big for me. And my summary or random stuff I spewed to someone the other day is only really just my confusion showing itself in bold text. My mind right now, is that of a blunt knife.
In short; I don't hold confidence at my ability to do this. I will try, but I know it will be lacking, and that actually saddens me more than you folks might realize.
An individual's thoughts are often incomplete, it is usually through collaboration that we gain true understanding.
Or so I believe. This is an individual thought after all.
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Thanks everyone. You guys are awesome.
Im much better now. Sorry for worrying you.
Don't worry about it man but if you ever feel down again we are here.
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So… my brother just told me that their dog, yami, died... last february.
'Someone' has been laughing when I told him the 'news' and pointed out the following:" your brother doesn't seem to let you in. I wonder what you did wrong."
Now I'm very depressed. For explanation: my brother is 3 years older than me. When I was born my mother made the decision to give him away to her fosterparents, our fostergrandparents. Therefore we didn't grow up together and only saw each other on some weekends and during holidays. When we were teenagers there were times where we didn't see each other for 2years straight.
I thought that would always be enough reason why we don't have this sibling bond between us. But ss that 'someone' pointed out, that can't be the explanation.
And now I feel like crying. -
Poor Nami-chan. I know you are going through a lot lately…
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… Am I? Lol.
Life's a bit stressful atm but I'm not rly going through bad things. It's just life.
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Wait so you are depressed by the lack of sibling bond?
I'm in a similar situation. I have a younger half brother that while I would like to have a relationship with, I don't want anything to do with my dad. So obviously that's not gonna happen XD It's a little sad because he was always a good kid, and I've heard from people who have observed that he still treats my step siblings (who he adopted) way better then he treats my brother (or had treated me). It's a little backwards he treats the kids that aren't really his better than the ones who are by blood, but IDK. He's a shitbag.
I don't really get too depressed about it. I wonder what it would be like to actually have a close sibling relationship but there are valid reasons why I no longer am involved with all of them so, it just is what it is.
Don't exactly know what that "Someone" is talking about, but the situation you describe sounds like its perfectly reasonable, given the circumstances, that you are not close to one another. Just merely acquaintances that happen to be related.
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I just realized that… If I come down from this high and the situation still isn't resolved... I'm not going to survive it...
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I just realized that… If I come down from this high and the situation still isn't resolved... I'm not going to survive it...
But you are confident that you can resolve it, no?
There are many different possible outcomes for scenarios, and a lot of times we spend a lot of time wondering the "what if" and the "worst case scenario." But as trite as it may be to say at this point, there isn't much point to worry your head over scenarios that may never even happen. It's good to keep them perhaps in the back as perspective to remember what's at stake, but don't brood too much over just a possibility such that you lose sight of reality.
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I just realized that… If I come down from this high and the situation still isn't resolved... I'm not going to survive it...
Oi don't think about it.
Don't think what will happen, just do whatever you are doing, just enjoy that you are feeling well, and don't think what will happen when you won't be like that anymore, it'll take enjoyment of this time away. -
I just realized that… If I come down from this high and the situation still isn't resolved... I'm not going to survive it...
Now this probably carries no weight coming from someone who has only the most vague understanding of your situation and also someone lacking in life experience to give meaningful advice to anyone, but from the very little that I have observed, you have survived up to this point and you are capable of rising above the shit that life thows at you. Even if the worst happens, don't just write yourself off.
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False alarm everybody. Just a moment of self-doubt, spurred by looking at a few of the comments on these articles.
But it's all over now, everything's going to be alright, just like I thought. Thanks for your support, I know that I can always trust AP forums to help me.
EDIT: I'd just like to apologize if my recent posts seem infrequent, short, vague, or disinterested in any way. The truth is that I'm more thankful of your support right now than ever, but I've just been so busy with this, and my whole day has been like a roller coaster start to finish. The actual incident feels like it was a week ago now. Just know that if my posts come across like I described, it's for reasons that are unrelated to my actual mood, because I'm actually more confident now than ever. I feel stronger than ever. And everything's going to sort itself out. I just wanted to notify y'all of that. Don't be alarmed if I start posting less and less, or if I stop posting at all for a while, it's going to be fine. Love you all.
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But it's all over now, everything's going to be alright, just like I thought. Thanks for your support, I know that I can always trust AP forums to help me.
Don't be alarmed if I start posting less and less, or if I stop posting at all for a while, it's going to be fine. Love you all.
It's good to see you're in good spirits. thumbs-up
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How fast people forget about other user posts lol
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So… my brother just told me that their dog, yami, died... last february.
'Someone' has been laughing when I told him the 'news' and pointed out the following:" your brother doesn't seem to let you in. I wonder what you did wrong."
Now I'm very depressed. For explanation: my brother is 3 years older than me. When I was born my mother made the decision to give him away to her fosterparents, our fostergrandparents. Therefore we didn't grow up together and only saw each other on some weekends and during holidays. When we were teenagers there were times where we didn't see each other for 2years straight.
I thought that would always be enough reason why we don't have this sibling bond between us. But ss that 'someone' pointed out, that can't be the explanation.
And now I feel like crying.The first important thing to point out here is: You did NOTHING wrong. The bond between siblings is not something that poof comes out of thin air because you have the same mom. It grows with the time you spend with each other and even then things are not always perfect. You were separated for some time so of course your relationship will never be like in those cheesy family flicks where siblings are acting like soul mates. But that shit is not the norm for the majority of people, believe me. And you can build something of your own. Something which feels real and true to both of you. The reason he might not open up to you is not because he personally dislikes you or any of that bull. Maybe he doesn't want to bother you with it. Maybe he was shy do approach you with such a negative topic. I don't know how your dynamic works exactly. But some people deal differently with grief. Now here's the thing: I know you might feel hurt that he didn't let you in on something like this, but you can also do your part to let him know that closer contact is something you would appreciate. Keep him updated on the things that move you and he will tell you a bit about the things in his life one way or the other.
I know you might look to the past and see so many missed opportunities. But it's no help at all. The better things is to look forward and see how you could improve your relationship. And be patient about it.Also I am a little bit confused about the "someone" here. Are you talking about another family member?
In that case it would be a little bit tactless. Tell them what you told us here.Or are you talking about another user here in this board who might possibly read this? In that case it would maybe be better to discuss the effect their reaction had on you in private first (next time). It would avoid quite the misunderstanding.
This is not directly part of your problem (the relationship of you and your brother), but it also is another little problem in itself and a little bit of meta communication can do wonders.@Purple:
It's… a shame. I liked that sort of prospect. A girl who was smart and able to admit fault to grow from it. But I suppose my view on life is that, save for that one girlfriend, the people I've met and liked have those sorts of excellent attributes, and whether it is rejection or a misunderstanding, that sort of thing shouldn't change that view. Especially because when I meet and get to know that person for me, I'm absolutely certain she'll be better than all the rest, even these people who are meet the bar for being good.
It's of course great to always seek to see the good in others. But you should not place people on a pedestal.
People will always have faults.Cause they are guaranteed to have some. So do I. So do you. That's part of the relationship. You must learn to deal with their flaws (sometimes you might even grow fond of a certain flaw).
About the whole dating game: I have the same issue, but unlike you I really do not see a reason to change my approach. Romantic love always developed out of trust for me, but people are different. For instance I never was the person for love at first sight. Maybe someday it will hit me and I will finally understand what people mean by it. Still wish you the best of luck in getting in the game. I wish I had some proper advice to give. -
@minus.:
It's of course great to always seek to see the good in others. But you should not place people on a pedestal.
People will always have faults.Cause they are guaranteed to have some. So do I. So do you. That's part of the relationship. You must learn to deal with their flaws (sometimes you might even grow fond of a certain flaw).
About the whole dating game: I have the same issue, but unlike you I really do not see a reason to change my approach. Romantic love always developed out of trust for me, but people are different. For instance I never was the person for love at first sight. Maybe someday it will hit me and I will finally understand what people mean by it. Still wish you the best of luck in getting in the game. I wish I had some proper advice to give.No doubt we all have our faults. But I don't consider putting them on high pedestals. Simply that they are people who have met the bar for being "good." Rejecting me shouldn't change that sort of thing. I would much rather not be a sore loser who's all up on them sour grapes.
I don't think it's necessarily love at first sight, but there needs to be something that I really like I guess.
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I like things that are cute. I even like cute women.
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i'm a guy though. 16 char
Pft, so? I don't see why liking cute stuff should be just a thing for girls
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i'm a guy though. 16 char
Don't let yourself be hemmed in by gender binarism/essentialism.
Do whatever you want, yo. As long as it's real. -
Yeah, I see no issue with that all, either. I'm a guy…and well, just look at my avatar! I also like to discuss cute things on a fairly frequent basis with my friends here. Also cute women are the best~
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I LOOOOVE Cute things!
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Ewww avoid the coooties
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I think that 'cute' is different for everyone?
e.g. I like cute animals, but I hate those pony characters.
And what does the cute women mean? -
They mean this
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! Just Kidding
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16 chars of poor guy :sad:
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Who? Yuuichi from Kanon.(Yes that's the guy from the video)
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Did somebody say cute stuff? :3
I think lots of things are cute, like animals, babies, caterpillars, and little desserts! I also like cute drawings of cats, too.