Yeah, the whole "we hate and fear Jinchuuriki" thing never made any sense, really. I mean, even without the whole passed down generations thing, why would anybody ostracize a kid everybody knows had nothing to do with the Bijuu attack, and actually helped solve it? Especially freakin' adults.
Because retcon.
Originally pretty much no one knew Naruto was hosting the nine tails. Maybe the third hokage did, but that was it. (Orochimaru and Jiraiya did as well I suppose, but they didn't show up until much later in the story.) Certainly none of the kids did. (NO ONE seemed to have any idea during the chunin exams.) And for the one or two that did, it was entirely as an emergency measure that the fourth did in a moment of desperation. Naruto was seen entirely as that kid who ran around causing trouble that had no parents… and to the couple that knew him, the kyuubi. Not a child of the village, not the son of the fourth, just the monster that destroyed it and killed the hokage... who had to be allowed to live because otherwise the demon fox would be freed again.
Similarly, Gaara was purely an experiment gone wrong that needed to be put down. He and Naruto were both unique freaks, the only ones in the world like themselves. It was an incredibly monstrous thing to put a demon inside him. Naruto had been an emergency measure, an accident... to actually do it on PURPOSE to someone? The sand village were monsters themselves.
It wasn't until Killer Bee showed up that suddenly it was an time honored tradition with 9 different hosts especially selected that went back for generations thats a tradition in every single village, complete with specific rituals and bloodlines, and wood jutsu guy who could for some reason keep the tailed beasts controlled, and it turned out that the fourth was Naruto's father who specially planned all along to insert the kyuubi in there and blah blah bullshit...
Basically there's a huge disconnect because the story did a complete 180 on its setup and history halfway through. Goes hand in hand with ignoring the hard work overcomes legacy theme that used to be so prominent.