Well it's been awhile hasn't it?
Long story short life got super busy so I'm basically done with most Internet stuff but upon urging from a close friend I have one final list of things I'm forbidden from doing in tabletop games that covers from when I last did anything here and about a week ago when I broke it off with those former friends who I played with for so long. So let's have one more for the road shall we?
Things Jay is Forbidden From Doing In Tabletop Games Final edition:
- The following names are forever banned for all future Grippli characters: Jeremiah, Slippy, Froggy
- If I'm carrying a gun that's bigger than I am you're goddamn right I'm going to feel some recoil
- The party is not keeping an Intellect Devourer as a pet
- I am not "the frog version of Lobo"
- If I ever trick any party member into calling the slave owner "senpai" again my character will be terminated by a spontaneous meteor strike
- I am not playing the Great Cave Offensive from Kirby so I really shouldn't be naming every item we come across
- On that note anyone using Cobalt Rage is not to be referred as "Blueberry Mountain"
- Invisibility is not one of my God given rights
- The group is candidly aware that my Wand of Enlarge Person will "Make my monster grow"
- Even if it makes sense in context the sentence "If you think I'm scary you should talk to the frog" should really never occur ever again
- No matter how high my CHA is no one other than the party members who witnessed it are going to believe that the frog lady one-shotted a Hydra
- Even if I'm the GM I really shouldn't try to recreate Yor, Hunter from the Future in the campaign
- Even in low-light conditions Fetchlings do not have to roll a % die to see if they miss their own dick while trying to pee
- The Soulreaver's name is neither Kain nor Raziel
- Despite there now being a precedent for legions of monsters fearing my Grippli we are not leaving a "Scare-Frog" at the entrance to each dungeon we complete
- No longer allowed to make comments connecting the Aasimar's Celestial, Draconic, Human, and Elvish bloodlines and his mother's profession
- Any plan that involves "Pirate Docking" is vetoed
- Using Precognition to "Joesph Joestar" the villain's monologue will not affect their morale
- Intentionally singing badly does not give my Bard free uses of Chord of Shards
- When told to learn a language the rest of the party doesn't speak they didn't mean Esperanto
- When asked what the weather report stated I will not cast Rain of Frogs as an answer
- If we exist in an age before computers it's safe to assume I can't ask to be paid exclusively in Bitcoin
- Offering to tie other party members to the ship's mast ceases to be as helpful when the ship is sinking
- We are never allowed to discuss if the regenerative properties of the Hydra also apply to it's lower regions ever again
- Not allowed to cast Hideous Laughter on people attending the GM-played party member's funeral
They are? Where?! I've never found any. Where do you look for them?
Tabletop game groups are a lot like weed connections: they're everywhere you just have to know where to look.