@Uncle:
I just got done cleaning my room because I realized I would rather spend time in the bathroom than my own bedroom due to the smell and when I had that ephiphany, I decided to really re-evaluate myself.
Now I have sixty dollars worth of cleaning materials and sparkling walls. =P
I'd feel the same way about my room if I could smell.
@Dervish:
I'm quite jealous. I've never been to a sex shop in my life and I've always wanted to visit one. Well. Perhaps it's for the best–doubtless I'd bring the entire store back with me and I'd have nowhere to put anything. I don't think my landlord would be too terribly amused to see certain pleasure-giving devices hanging from my ceiling fan due to lack of space (although you never know).
Well, you could always say that they're Halloween decorations.
So. Today was the day that I realized that I am truly serious about moving away from Kentucky after my spring college semester has been completed. Started putting everything into motion, looking at prices and rental properties and the like. It's pretty intimidating–I worry about being able to find a good job and a decent place to live within my price range, and everything will be so new….yet I know the change is long overdue, that I've exhausted all of my personal and career related options as far as this town goes, that there is no decent work to be had here, that living in a rural, mountainous community with a population of 2000 is not--cannot!--and never will be right for a misplaced Chicagoan such as myself.
But even so, I've lived here for so many years....and I'm afraid. This town is a hellhole, but it's a hellhole I'm familiar with, that I know and understand down to its pores. I'm appalled with myself for feeling this way, because everything I've done up until now--working to put myself through college, the financial sacrifices I've made to save up enough funds so that I'll be able to have a nice start once I graduate--it's all been for this very goal that is only a few months away now. Nothing is going to stop me from taking the plunge and leaving this place, but I just wish I felt better about it. I want to feel exhilarated at the knowledge that I'll finally be free from here after all of these years, not burdened with worry and fear. Makes me wish I could somehow view myself a year or so from now, so that I can see how I'm doing and maybe alleviate some of my doubts. Ah well.
Well, a change in environment means someplace new, even if it's the same place where time has passed, so naturally it's worrisome to pick yourself up and go to a new place.
However, it's very good you planned ahead, financially or otherwise, especially in these times where even getting a college degree might not be enough if you don't have the right one (which has happened to me, but thankfully I can say that my classes weren't a total waste, such as my WWII, etymology and Creative Writing classes).
Just pick your place and settle down. Someone like you should be able to get along anywhere (unless it's in one of those towns run by some cult or something, but that's probably not something you have to worry about).
From one graduate to another…good luck.
And I can relate with a college town being depressing: UC Riverside is like Balamb Gardens stuck in the middle of Lower Midgar. The whole town is not bad, but I was kind of appalled at how not only how many of the residents probably couldn't afford to go to their own college, but also at how the homeless/foreclosure rate sky rocketed. Even my favorite professor had to help console her daughter as her car got stolen...twice. And yet, even I miss that place a little, and that same professor said that she would never move out of a combination of pride, stubbornness, and laziness.
…
Wow, I'm starting to sound like a nostalgic old man all of a sudden.