Work:…Sometimes I think I atract weird persons..Today a guy wanted to write a poem in binary code...HOW CAN THIS BE ???
Life: Yesterday was my GF birthday, I gave her a silver ring...and valentines days is near, she will win two presents and I only one..:ninja:
Today ? Downloading weird stuff in scribblenauts...Go Nietzsche, destroy all the gods, even Celestia !!!
When AP used to be good:
NEVER FORGET !!
I Think it is made boiling a canned chicken in a thick broth of beer or something like that.
Edit: I'm seeing Casablanca <3
As someone that grew up in the south I can say, that its true, beer can chicken can be made by putting the can inside the chicken. It could be made the way you suggest but I always heard that people say : open the can, then place the chicken so its 'sitting on it' (putting the can inside while chicken 'stands' up), then cook.
@Panda:
No, no, he spelled that right, beer can chicken. The basic idea is you cook a chicken with a can of beer inside it, something about providing moisture, I believe? I've certainly never done it myself, so I'm hazy on any details, but I've seen the idea tossed around before.
P Bear is spot on, as usual.
Step one. Take a beer can, drink half of it, then perforate the upper half of it with lots of tiny holes, and stuff a bunch of herbs in the can.
Step two rub in a whole chicken in a mix of butter, olive oil and lemon and salt and pepper it, and put some garlic up in it.
Then you shove the can up the bum of the bird and place it on a foil tray on the grill. The rest is just waiting.
I wasted a good portion of today in bed, but I've just been so tired. A real pity though; it was a beautiful day to take another stroll, and there were other things I had to do… Oh well, I'll try again tomorrow.
A Taste of Sin was fuckin' amazing. Like really, really amazing. Beautiful, hearbreaking, strong, stunning. Wow.
Really, all of you should see it if given the chance.
Work: I worked with old books, seems fun, right ? Yeah…I didn't knew much (only a little at college), but I was a "good helper" as the responsible said. Sadly, I can´t work with that (more precisely, I would never be more than a helper), if I want to work in that place, I would have to take another course in college. And I really don´t want that now..
Life: Watched this:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1320082/
Great movie !!! 
EDIT: Just a quick note:
I will STILL work at the library, but not in the book repair area.
Aah, the familiar spell of depression and realization.
A new semister is abound - meaning the pain of registration plus the usual student loan process. I've picked out my schedule, but naturally I expect at least one of my desired classes to close before my registration appointment comes up. At least I'm guaranteed the Chemistry course I want.
Today wasn't so bad, though I just received word from my mom that my great grandma passed away this morning. She had cancer and diabetes, so we knew it was coming. My mom is feeling sad, but she says at least it wasn't an out of the blue death like with her uncle (my great uncle/godfather who passed away in October), and she was able to spend time with her during her final days.
Today I attended my youngest uncle's funeral. He went missing for over 10 years while no one knew where he was since he was battling some vices in his life. All this time later, he had turned his life around and things were looking up for him when his time came. I didn't know him very well, but I had seen him a few times in my childhood as this funny, jovial uncle who loved his family. There's one picture of him, much younger, holding me as a baby which really hit me hard.
I learned a pretty hard lesson today that I wish to share with all of you. No matter how difficult family will be, do not cut ties with them or lose your relationship with them. If you do, one day you might really regret it, and wish you spent just a little more time with them.
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BAD ASS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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That´s my portfolio of professional librarian identity. Fron now on, I´m a offical librarian.
I know all this was the result of my effort but I still can´t stop being surprised. I never thought I could be someone in life…and now this ? I´m so proud of myself. 
Today I attended my youngest uncle's funeral. He went missing for over 10 years while no one knew where he was since he was battling some vices in his life. All this time later, he had turned his life around and things were looking up for him when his time came. I didn't know him very well, but I had seen him a few times in my childhood as this funny, jovial uncle who loved his family. There's one picture of him, much younger, holding me as a baby which really hit me hard.
I learned a pretty hard lesson today that I wish to share with all of you. No matter how difficult family will be, do not cut ties with them or lose your relationship with them. If you do, one day you might really regret it, and wish you spent just a little more time with them.
This. This is solid advice unless said family member is a piece of shit, then forget them all you want :P
I vanished from here again XP I've been so busy and tired lately. The work on the house is finally about to begin <3 Can't wait for everything to be nice, new, and shiny <3
And I'm so eternally weird. The hail damage on my car from earlier in the month was finally evaluated today (it's pretty peppered with dents :X) and they've determined that the damage would cost $5000 or more in repairs which is almost as much as the car is worth, thus their official evaluation was that it's totalled. I love my car and don't want to get rid of it, but $5000 is what I figured I would need to put down on a new car in order to easily afford it, and this may be my only chance. I don't know what to do, because then once it finally dies the death it's just scrap metal and practically worthless, but I love it ;A;
Just spent about the last 4 hours working on a presentation for Derek Jarman's adaptation of Shakespeare's The Tempest.
…And I think it may be a favorite, both the play and adaptation. Especially Ariel's last scene.
But more importantly, I worked hard during these last 4 hours and felt pretty ok through it all, and not once did I feel despair. Compared to my previous major of chemistry, I'd feel despair after even about an hour of work. So I definitely feel that changing my studies to English was a great decision after all.
Almost at 2000 youtube subscribers now, thinking hard about what to do for a special.
Considering doing blind commentaries of Adventure Time.
Also, congrats Captain Ugly :)
I'm so nervous and excited at the same time. It's like something has started a strange chain-reaction in my body and I just can't sit still.
Found a library with an impressive selection of manga. They had all of Urasawa's Monster. I ended up borrowing Tropic of the Sea by Satoshi Kon.
I really, really hate Goldenweek. Now the pressure is really building up for this week.
Working thru some stuff. Dunno how long i will be here.
So it seems I'm getting my probation meeting at the end of the week. Time to find out whether I'm actually going to be a full employee at this 'web development' thing or whether I'm going to be cast adrift. Though given there was a 'nothing to worry about' attached to the e-mail, I'm guessing it will be the former.
If it is, then I have to start planning for my move out of London. I'm trying to decide between paying a bit less rent each month or paying the same rent I do now but for a small house instead of a room. I guess we'll see. One step at a time, but big life changes all round, oh yes.
http://www.nautiljon.com/images/perso/00/01/miss_goldenweek_210.jpg?0
Hahhaa, Sorry. It's difficult for work xD
Best of Luck, Print!
@MDL:
Also, congrats Captain Ugly :)
Thanks !!!!!
Work: Today I had to help the restorer to fix a book from the 18° century…O.O
Last day of repairs..I will miss helping to fix old books but it´s not something I would like to do everyday. I will let this task to people who would really enjoy doing this.
I will focus in the research area.
Life: Accordion practice, dance practice and video games.
This. This is solid advice unless said family member is a piece of shit, then forget them all you want :P
Naw I would say even if they're the worst family member in the world, at least be civil with them. You never know if there's some serious reason why they're being such an ass, and tomorrow they could turn their lives around.
On another note, I think I'm experiencing depression from a medical point of view, not just emotionally feeling sad. Yes, I am sad about my uncle but it's not occupying my thoughts 24/7. On the other hand, I have experienced depression before, and I can feel it again; all day I've had this inward urge to just seclude myself to my bed, cry for no reason, talk to no one, eat comfort food, watch shows, sleep, and do absolutely nothing else.
Before anyone says anything, no, it's not PMS >_>
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Finished South Park: The Stick Of Truth today.
Amazing game with a PERFECT ending note.
! Throughout the game, you're silent. You don't talk to anyone at all.
But after the final battle, your friends ask you what you want to play next.
Your very last action as the player is to actually speak.
You say "Screw you guys, I'm going home", walk off, and then the credits roll! Legendary ending.
I have no idea how my prof constructed a 2 1/2 hour long statistics exam, but that happened.
$300ish in the hole that I didn't have at all for nerve testing and MRI today… I'm used to being billed after services rendered and not having to pay up front XP It's more reasonable for them to ask for payment ahead of time but I was like ;A; I never ever get billed for tests and scans ahead of time... I can't even pay the phone bill now at all XP
I complained enough about the visual disturbances that they did a scan of my head too, and maybe maybe MAYBE I will finally find out what is causing all of my problems. Finally. Aside from my face wanting to explode but I just need to get out of Texas. My headset for work broke and one of my co-workers was nice enough to buy me a new one so I didn't have to wait til I got paid @_@ I cannot hold a phone up to my ear anymore, my neck wants to die.
Naw I would say even if they're the worst family member in the world, at least be civil with them. You never know if there's some serious reason why they're being such an ass, and tomorrow they could turn their lives around.
On another note, I think I'm experiencing depression from a medical point of view, not just emotionally feeling sad. Yes, I am sad about my uncle but it's not occupying my thoughts 24/7. On the other hand, I have experienced depression before, and I can feel it again; all day I've had this inward urge to just seclude myself to my bed, cry for no reason, talk to no one, eat comfort food, watch shows, sleep, and do absolutely nothing else.
Before anyone says anything, no, it's not PMS >_>
Oh yeah, that reminded me. At Thanksgiving a few of my cousins went over to talk to my grandma's brother (and they left without telling me XP jerks) who long story very short, did some shitty things to the family after my great grandfather passed away (this was before any of us were born). He was always pretty shitty whenever I would see him. He and his family moved into my great grandma's house after she passed away, which is right next to my grandpa's house. Apparently he used to be a pretty cool guy until he met his wife and then he became an asshat that everyone swears is her doing. She's always really nice to me but she made a bad comment about me to all of the cousins (mild, but really uncalled for) so I believe the bitch story now. My great grandma was about to go write him out of the will before she died. Wouldn't have been a bad thing.
Anyway, they told me he was very sad when he met all of them and looked very remorseful. Aside from me and one of my second cousins that's the same age (still mad she didn't get me to come XP), he had never met my younger cousins. I wonder if something would ever change but, if the death of my grandmother didn't change a thing then I really doubt something will. Maybe there is hope, but the sad fact is he and his family have been next door my entire life and we have nothing to do with each other. He's my grandma's brother, my moms uncle. That's not really distant family >_>
I just think that every single year at Thanksgiving he is sitting at home while literally all the rest of his entire family aside from his immediate family is eating together next door without them. That's really really really depressing when I think about it. This has been a truth all of my life and I've never known any different. Even when my great grandma was still alive and he lived in the barn house on the property, we would have christmas eve stuff over at her house and they never joined us then either.
That's the kind of family that I think somehow could be forgiven. Then there's my dad, and I'm getting all aboard the train to nopenopenope on that one.
$300ish in the hole that I didn't have at all for nerve testing and MRI today… I'm used to being billed after services rendered and not having to pay up front XP It's more reasonable for them to ask for payment ahead of time but I was like ;A; I never ever get billed for tests and scans ahead of time... I can't even pay the phone bill now at all XP
I complained enough about the visual disturbances that they did a scan of my head too, and maybe maybe MAYBE I will finally find out what is causing all of my problems. Finally. Aside from my face wanting to explode but I just need to get out of Texas. My headset for work broke and one of my co-workers was nice enough to buy me a new one so I didn't have to wait til I got paid @_@ I cannot hold a phone up to my ear anymore, my neck wants to die.
Oh yeah, that reminded me. At Thanksgiving a few of my cousins went over to talk to my grandma's brother (and they left without telling me XP jerks) who long story very short, did some shitty things to the family after my great grandfather passed away (this was before any of us were born). He was always pretty shitty whenever I would see him. He and his family moved into my great grandma's house after she passed away, which is right next to my grandpa's house. Apparently he used to be a pretty cool guy until he met his wife and then he became an asshat that everyone swears is her doing. She's always really nice to me but she made a bad comment about me to all of the cousins (mild, but really uncalled for) so I believe the bitch story now. My great grandma was about to go write him out of the will before she died. Wouldn't have been a bad thing.
Anyway, they told me he was very sad when he met all of them and looked very remorseful. Aside from me and one of my second cousins that's the same age (still mad she didn't get me to come XP), he had never met my younger cousins. I wonder if something would ever change but, if the death of my grandmother didn't change a thing then I really doubt something will. Maybe there is hope, but the sad fact is he and his family have been next door my entire life and we have nothing to do with each other. He's my grandma's brother, my moms uncle. That's not really distant family >_>
I just think that every single year at Thanksgiving he is sitting at home while literally all the rest of his entire family aside from his immediate family is eating together next door without them. That's really really really depressing when I think about it. This has been a truth all of my life and I've never known any different. Even when my great grandma was still alive and he lived in the barn house on the property, we would have christmas eve stuff over at her house and they never joined us then either.
That's the kind of family that I think somehow could be forgiven. Then there's my dad, and I'm getting all aboard the train to nopenopenope on that one.
Exactly what I meant. There's always a family member who's done terrible things, but then after a while you might see them, aging, lonely, and it just tears at your heart. Family is family no matter what. This exact situation depicts my father right now, who has done some terrible things in his life, and has been ignored and avoided for over a decade by my older siblings. But when I see him now, almost in his 60s, telling me that he misses my siblings and he wished things went differently, who am I to judge?
With age and experience people who have done horrendous things may realize that they were wrong. How sad would it be if they died, wanting their families to forgive them, and they were ignored? No one is perfect, every person has committed sins, and we should try our best to forgive people if we want to be forgiven by others.
If it is someone in the family who has done unforgivable crimes, I would say to just be as civil as you can to them, and in my opinion, if the justice system does not rectify their crimes in this life, I would be content knowing that it will be served in perfection in the next.
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Exactly what I meant. There's always a family member who's done terrible things, but then after a while you might see them, aging, lonely, and it just tears at your heart. Family is family no matter what. This exact situation depicts my father right now, who has done some terrible things in his life, and has been ignored and avoided for over a decade by my older siblings. But when I see him now, almost in his 60s, telling me that he misses my siblings and he wished things went differently, who am I to judge?
With age and experience people who have done horrendous things may realize that they were wrong. How sad would it be if they died, wanting their families to forgive them, and they were ignored? No one is perfect, every person has committed sins, and we should try our best to forgive people if we want to be forgiven by others.
If it is someone in the family who has done unforgivable crimes, I would say to just be as civil as you can to them, and in my opinion, if the justice system does not rectify their crimes in this life, I would be content knowing that it will be served in perfection in the next.
Since it's starting to go off on topics other than what's going on today XD I'll box it in. This starts to get a little more confession session-y:
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I completely agree, as a person of faith, I know my father will reap what he sewed whether it's in this life or the next. I just have a hard time… Well, I really don't want to reconcile with him, I just want to go on about my business and have as normal of a life as I can, with my own family someday, something I feel he really robbed me of. If I can be successful in all ways that's enough to put me at peace with everything that has happened in my life. It's not completely appropriate (ie at all, really) to air out all the reasons but he did some pretty bad shit when I was very small, then tried to act like an almost normal parent yet would be flinging in front of me the fact he took really good care of his adopted children and had to be yelled at to do anything for me. Then other people have witnessed and told me that he is a raging dick to my younger brother, the only child that he and his wife have had together, and I just really don't want to deal with that kind of crazy. How can someone treat their adopted children better than their own children? Aside from his actions when I was little, some of that could be his wife's fault, but it seems like a bunch of BS.
He's gone on mission trips around the world building schools and houses in the name of christ but had to be yelled at to pay for a small portion of his own daughter's braces. He recently added me on Facebook even though we haven't spoken in 10-11 years and our phone number hasn't changed so he could've just called >__> Nope nope nope.
Or worse, while in my hometown I've run into him a handful of times over the past 10 years and he's never recognized me. Even once when I was wearing the same shirt I wore the last time I saw him too. Really makes me think that he really thinks that highly of me. I think deep inside some unhinged, irrational part of me wishes my dad wanted to be an actual father to me. He never has been, and never will be, and that's something I've known for my entire life, and accepted long ago. It all messed me up. I'm afraid of ending up with someone like him, because I know what my anger would lead me to do. I don't trust that no one doesn't have bad ulterior motives and I can't let that go, I can never feel comfortable. I'm downright terrified of finding myself in that position it causes me as much anguish and grief as being all alone does.
It's hard to forgive someone like that. It's one thing if they just abandon you and don't want to be apart of your life, but to deliberately upheave it and then just vanish and act like it didn't happen is bullshit. Sometimes I wonder how dare he go on with his family and live a normal life (I know it's definitely not all perfect with them, but its something) while I've just sat alone and disregarded all of these years. I've never had the emotional support of my mother, and the only person who ever gave me that is now gone. So I see these pictures of family events and vacations and hear about going to places I've always dreamed of seeing and I'm like... I can't just forgive that just because. Sometimes I went hungry while he did these things. I will get out of here and back in school and make the life that I want to have and be proud of my own successes without the help or support of my family, there's no room for these feelings anymore, and definitely not to give a shit about him.[/hide]
Since it's starting to go off on topics other than what's going on today XD I'll box it in. This starts to get a little more confession session-y:
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I completely agree, as a person of faith, I know my father will reap what he sewed whether it's in this life or the next. I just have a hard time… Well, I really don't want to reconcile with him, I just want to go on about my business and have as normal of a life as I can, with my own family someday, something I feel he really robbed me of. If I can be successful in all ways that's enough to put me at peace with everything that has happened in my life. It's not completely appropriate (ie at all, really) to air out all the reasons but he did some pretty bad shit when I was very small, then tried to act like an almost normal parent yet would be flinging in front of me the fact he took really good care of his adopted children and had to be yelled at to do anything for me. Then other people have witnessed and told me that he is a raging dick to my younger brother, the only child that he and his wife have had together, and I just really don't want to deal with that kind of crazy. How can someone treat their adopted children better than their own children? Aside from his actions when I was little, some of that could be his wife's fault, but it seems like a bunch of BS.He's gone on mission trips around the world building schools and houses in the name of christ but had to be yelled at to pay for a small portion of his own daughter's braces. He recently added me on Facebook even though we haven't spoken in 10-11 years and our phone number hasn't changed so he could've just called >__> Nope nope nope.
Or worse, while in my hometown I've run into him a handful of times over the past 10 years and he's never recognized me. Even once when I was wearing the same shirt I wore the last time I saw him too. Really makes me think that he really thinks that highly of me. I think deep inside some unhinged, irrational part of me wishes my dad wanted to be an actual father to me. He never has been, and never will be, and that's something I've known for my entire life, and accepted long ago. It all messed me up. I'm afraid of ending up with someone like him, because I know what my anger would lead me to do. I don't trust that no one doesn't have bad ulterior motives and I can't let that go, I can never feel comfortable. I'm downright terrified of finding myself in that position it causes me as much anguish and grief as being all alone does.
It's hard to forgive someone like that. It's one thing if they just abandon you and don't want to be apart of your life, but to deliberately upheave it and then just vanish and act like it didn't happen is bullshit. Sometimes I wonder how dare he go on with his family and live a normal life (I know it's definitely not all perfect with them, but its something) while I've just sat alone and disregarded all of these years. I've never had the emotional support of my mother, and the only person who ever gave me that is now gone. So I see these pictures of family events and vacations and hear about going to places I've always dreamed of seeing and I'm like... I can't just forgive that just because. Sometimes I went hungry while he did these things. I will get out of here and back in school and make the life that I want to have and be proud of my own successes without the help or support of my family, there's no room for these feelings anymore, and definitely not to give a shit about him.[/hide]
[hide]It's scary how similar some fathers can be. What you've described there is basically my father, too, with a few nouns switched around. I was lucky enough to be the youngest child, who was raised by my mother after my parents were divorced. My two older sisters basically grew up with what you described, and their feelings toward my father currently is exactly what you are feeling. I don't have those same feelings because I didn't experience that treatment first hand, I was a baby and I didn't know. What you and my sisters feel towards our fathers is legit and totally fair for what you experienced.
What I think the solution is, is for the dads to man up, admit their wrongdoing to their children and take one step towards asking for forgiveness. Since I've been the forced middleman, I have told this to my father myself. He, however, has been too proud to admit that he has done anything wrong, and says that his daughters should come to him, not he to them. I disagree, but I can't make him do anything. On the other hand I've tried to make my sisters take even an inch towards reconciling with my dad, but that's an absolute no-go, and for good reason. Now, and for many years, we have been stuck in this stale atmosphere.
With my uncle's passing, all that's been swimming through my head is "if one of them passes away, will they not regret it?" [/hide]
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[hide]It's scary how similar some fathers can be. What you've described there is basically my father, too, with a few nouns switched around. I was lucky enough to be the youngest child, who was raised by my mother after my parents were divorced. My two older sisters basically grew up with what you described, and their feelings toward my father currently is exactly what you are feeling. I don't have those same feelings because I didn't experience that treatment first hand, I was a baby and I didn't know. What you and my sisters feel towards our fathers is legit and totally fair for what you experienced.
What I think the solution is, is for the dads to man up, admit their wrongdoing to their children and take one step towards asking for forgiveness. Since I've been the forced middleman, I have told this to my father myself. He, however, has been too proud to admit that he has done anything wrong, and says that his daughters should come to him, not he to them. I disagree, but I can't make him do anything. On the other hand I've tried to make my sisters take even an inch towards reconciling with my dad, but that's an absolute no-go, and for good reason. Now, and for many years, we have been stuck in this stale atmosphere.
With my uncle's passing, all that's been swimming through my head is "if one of them passes away, will they not regret it?" [/hide]
[hide] Would I regret not reaching out if my dad were to pass away? Absolutely not. Life would go on, I'd probably be a bit relieved because I wouldn't have to think about it anymore. Your sisters might feel similarly and just want to shelve it and move on. He definitely needs to be the one to reach out to them, because they don't want anything to do with him. And they may reject him anyway. You feel really strongly about the possibility of making up and YOU should do so if you feel that it's right, but you may want to give up on including your sisters in this. I would hope they wouldn't begrudge you if you chose to have a relationship with your dad, but they might.
If they see you have a good relationship with your dad they might come around. I think my dad and my step mom too would have to do a whole lot to make me feel comfortable and I know they would never do that. Their "affection" was extremely conditional and I never conformed to what they wanted out of spite. I use affection loosely because they would buy me many things, but not really emotionally try to have a bond with me. And this was after they did and said a lot of horrible stuff to me and tried to trick me into thinking my family didn't like me, either >___>
I definitely get that you don't understand it completely because you didn't go through it, and I hope if you end up with a relationship with your dad that is a nice one, just don't heckle your sisters into trying to feel like they should want to have a relationship with your dad again, they may never want it. And your dad will probably be a hardass and not try to approach them.
The last time my dad called me, and left a message, I could hear my step mother talking in the background… Actually the message started rolling before they even left a proper message. It was something along the lines of well she has our number, she will call us if she wants to do anything just leave a message and whatever. XD and I definitely made no effort to ever call them back. Fuck it.[/hide]
How can I study English grammar perfectly in one and half day? No way? Ok 
I want to post here more often but jeez, situation here isn't quite pleasant to me, there is lotta stuff that irritates me.
Also school keeps me busy enough, but sometimes I kinda miss this place, it was so cool, when I joined…
gasp Did I…..oh my, I finished my House of Mirth paper!
....although I need to read it over, proofread, and cut out some lines to fit the 5-7 page length. But for the most part.......yeah, it's done!
And so opens the American Medical College application service today for the next cycle… bleh.
[hide] Would I regret not reaching out if my dad were to pass away? Absolutely not. Life would go on, I'd probably be a bit relieved because I wouldn't have to think about it anymore. Your sisters might feel similarly and just want to shelve it and move on. He definitely needs to be the one to reach out to them, because they don't want anything to do with him. And they may reject him anyway. You feel really strongly about the possibility of making up and YOU should do so if you feel that it's right, but you may want to give up on including your sisters in this. I would hope they wouldn't begrudge you if you chose to have a relationship with your dad, but they might.
If they see you have a good relationship with your dad they might come around. I think my dad and my step mom too would have to do a whole lot to make me feel comfortable and I know they would never do that. Their "affection" was extremely conditional and I never conformed to what they wanted out of spite. I use affection loosely because they would buy me many things, but not really emotionally try to have a bond with me. And this was after they did and said a lot of horrible stuff to me and tried to trick me into thinking my family didn't like me, either >___>
I definitely get that you don't understand it completely because you didn't go through it, and I hope if you end up with a relationship with your dad that is a nice one, just don't heckle your sisters into trying to feel like they should want to have a relationship with your dad again, they may never want it. And your dad will probably be a hardass and not try to approach them.
The last time my dad called me, and left a message, I could hear my step mother talking in the background… Actually the message started rolling before they even left a proper message. It was something along the lines of well she has our number, she will call us if she wants to do anything just leave a message and whatever. XD and I definitely made no effort to ever call them back. Fuck it.[/hide]
[hide]Honestly, it's remarkable how similar our situations are. My sisters have told me exactly word-for-word what you wrote in your last reply. They are just done with my dad, and I understand that. I understand for you, too. I don't think they will be phased by him dying, and I get it. My mom had an abusive father as well and she was relieved when he died. To be honest, my dad hasn't changed that much, and though I didn't live with him, he still displays the same behaviour. It's infuriating and 9 times out of 10 whenever I see him I regret it since I leave angry and at a loss for words for the things he does and says. And yes, he is still a hardass about reaching out to them.
The biggest reason why I have a regular relationship with him is because he married again when I was about 8, and he had 4 more kids. I'm really close with my half siblings and have been since they were babies, and I'm the only one out of me and my sisters who keeps in touch with them. Like I said, he hasn't changed, so I feel responsible to protect them and support them as best as I can. Whenever he says or does something terrible to them and I'm there, I tell him off without holding back.
They are the reason why I want my sisters to at least be able to bear seeing him in person. These kids are in their teens now and barely know my sisters because they won't go near my dad with a 200 ft pole. But as I've learned, they don't really care about getting to know them. The other day one of my sisters needed to get a message to my dad because of my uncle's funeral, and asked me to tell my half-sister to tell him, I said "why don't you just call her? I'll give you her cell number." She would not do it because "I have barely seen or talked to the kids since they were babies and it's awkward". My other sister has the same opinion.
I don't really get it and I think it's cruel that they won't even talk to them in private when the kids really look up to them and want to see them.
Are you still living with your dad and stepmom? I hope not. The best thing is, like you said, to just get away and get on with your life.[/hide]
Hidden:
Best of Luck, Print!
Thanks! At least we have lunchtime pub straight after the probation review so I can celebrate/commiserate away from my desk for a bit.
[hide]Honestly, it's remarkable how similar our situations are. My sisters have told me exactly word-for-word what you wrote in your last reply. They are just done with my dad, and I understand that. I understand for you, too. I don't think they will be phased by him dying, and I get it. My mom had an abusive father as well and she was relieved when he died. To be honest, my dad hasn't changed that much, and though I didn't live with him, he still displays the same behaviour. It's infuriating and 9 times out of 10 whenever I see him I regret it since I leave angry and at a loss for words for the things he does and says. And yes, he is still a hardass about reaching out to them.
The biggest reason why I have a regular relationship with him is because he married again when I was about 8, and he had 4 more kids. I'm really close with my half siblings and have been since they were babies, and I'm the only one out of me and my sisters who keeps in touch with them. Like I said, he hasn't changed, so I feel responsible to protect them and support them as best as I can. Whenever he says or does something terrible to them and I'm there, I tell him off without holding back.
They are the reason why I want my sisters to at least be able to bear seeing him in person. These kids are in their teens now and barely know my sisters because they won't go near my dad with a 200 ft pole. But as I've learned, they don't really care about getting to know them. The other day one of my sisters needed to get a message to my dad because of my uncle's funeral, and asked me to tell my half-sister to tell him, I said "why don't you just call her? I'll give you her cell number." She would not do it because "I have barely seen or talked to the kids since they were babies and it's awkward". My other sister has the same opinion.
I don't really get it and I think it's cruel that they won't even talk to them in private when the kids really look up to them and want to see them.Are you still living with your dad and stepmom? I hope not. The best thing is, like you said, to just get away and get on with your life.[/hide]
[hide]
Oh nooo I haven't talked to my dad in like… 10-11 years now. He still lives in my hometown and sometimes I have had run-ins when I'm around there, but he doesn't recognize me. Which is pretty bad, I think we look a lot alike.
Ahh so your half-siblings are the most primary reason you want to have a relationship with your dad. That's not a bad thing at all, though your dad is a complete douche-nozzle for producing you and your sisters and dumping you to get with another woman and make more babies he doesn't give a shit about XP I really would like to have a relationship with my younger half-brother, but I don't give 2 shits about the rest of them. He'll be 17 in about 3 months, but I think it's best I still wait until much later before I contact him.
And part of me wonders if I should. I was extremely livid when my aunt and cousins and some other people were telling me how shitty he would treat and talk to him in public. He's done a lot for my step mom's kids but has been nothing but an asshole to his actual children. When my half brother was little they were all pretty rude to him, and me. A lot of the crap they would do to me they instead started doing to him, and it was uncalled for. You'd think my step mom would've given a bigger shit about her own kid, but she treated her older 2 better than him >__> It made no sense. That's why its probably not worth trying to reach out to my dad since seemingly basic logic and reason escapes him.
I guess you have to stay civil with your dad for the sake of your younger siblings, which is something. I wonder if your sisters view your dad's remarriage and their subsequent offspring with a lot of jealousy and malice, probably more malice. The feel when your father treats you like shit and then goes and haves himself another family is shitty as an adult, but even more soul-crushing as a child. That could be a huge factor in why they don't want anything to do with them. They must have been old enough to realize daddy didn't give a shit about them whenever he left all of you. Then they see him start a new family. That's a pretty hefty betrayal. I'm decently pissed at the fact my dad did tons of shit for his adopted kids while he had to be pushed into doing anything for me. I was his first kid, it's not like I came behind anyone else. Even if they're not exactly jealous, I definitely bet your sisters feel betrayed.
[/hide]
Passed probation, so I'm a proper employee of $COMPANY now. It's a huge relief. Bizarre to think that in December 2012 I had no idea about coding and didn't know even what a for loop was but now I'm making a living off it as a professional. Got to celebrate with a pint of real ale by a village green between wild heathland and Roman ruins, where we went to for lunch, so all in all it's been a much better day than yesterday :)
moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon
:3 Congrats! ,
@Print:
Passed probation, so I'm a proper employee of $COMPANY now. It's a huge relief. Bizarre to think that in December 2012 I had no idea about coding and didn't know even what a for loop was but now I'm making a living off it as a professional. Got to celebrate with a pint of real ale by a village green between wild heathland and Roman ruins, where we went to for lunch, so all in all it's been a much better day than yesterday :)
Congrats, Print!! :D You've come a long way in such a short time, glad it's going so well for ya.
I'm so deep in love right now~
@Print:
Passed probation, so I'm a proper employee of $COMPANY now. It's a huge relief. Bizarre to think that in December 2012 I had no idea about coding and didn't know even what a for loop was but now I'm making a living off it as a professional. Got to celebrate with a pint of real ale by a village green between wild heathland and Roman ruins, where we went to for lunch, so all in all it's been a much better day than yesterday :)
I read that as "Dollar Company." It's software, right? Do you hack transactions or something?
Congrats :p
:3 Congrats! ,
Thanks Pris :)
Congrats, Print!! :D You've come a long way in such a short time, glad it's going so well for ya.
Yeah. Hard to think in January I was still in that clinging depression of unemployment and rejection e-mails, watching the days trickle past helplessly. Time flows completely differently when you're in full employment, never mind also having a 2 hour commute either side of that.
And thanks :)
I read that as "Dollar Company." It's software, right? Do you hack transactions or something?
Congrats :p
Just using $ in the variable sense, like with PHP. So in this case, it's a placeholder for the company I work for. And yeah, it is software, though admittedly I'm more a web developer so I'm having to pick up a lot of new stuff as well as honing the stuff I already know and follow.
Not a huge company, but not a start-up either, and with a kind of relaxed office atmosphere surprisingly free of brogrammers. To give some idea, while working on $PROJECT the other week, I also submitted a request to have a moustache and monocle 3d-printed and then posed with the moustache and monocle when people came to my desk to see their reaction. Had to stop when work really picked up, but it means it's a fun place to work, and that makes such a difference.
And thanks :P
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
I'm so deep in love right now~
Yay! Really happy for you, Nolus :)
Taking a break from Work. Spent the day making a team for Pokemón for an upcoming double battles (i fuckin suck and when i don't lose the other player discconects and the system doesn't validate my win :/ ) and slacking off. Right now i'm watching Animas Trujano, a mexican movie that stars Toshiro Mifune and holy shit i know people calls "The golden age of cinema" the years when it was made (i think i murdered the english language in that sentence) but it does have a lot of important names. The star is Toshiro Mifune, the director of Photography is Gabriel Figueroa and even the executive producer is the father of Sergio Aragonés.
Uh, they are important people guys :B
I might post this in one of the writing threads if it's more appropriate.
I have this story that I've been working on since I was like 7 years old (some of you might now what I'm talking about). I want it to get popular, so that it can be a TV show (then grow into a franchise) and I can make a lot of money.
At first, it was a simple, cool action show that was inspired (and even took the form of) many different action anime shows. The show itself didn't really have a strong, coherent storyline/full story, but it seemed like the type of show that would be entertaining off the bat, regardless. But I still wanted the plot to be stronger, so I tried really hard.
Then, I got bullied.. After that, I switched schools, then switched back, and I just changed completely. I started getting involved and learned about a lot of mature/political/psychological subject matter, and decided to incorporate a lot of that into that story. (The story itself takes place in a near apocalyptic world, where the few remaining humans are left hiding since they are powerless against this human-like, alien race. However, a few group of humans gain their power, and decide to save humanity. Along the way, the experience all what humanity has to offer - and that can be anything from simple relationships to terrible attempted genocides and ideologies.)
The story itself now has a coherent, through-line, but I realized that I had a lot of fun making the older story (the simple action one.) Though, in its current form, it will probably be more accessible worldwide (cause the original action one was based in regular everyday life, with a group of kids who had powers. It was basically based in what looked like an average American city.).
What should I do?
[hide]
Oh nooo I haven't talked to my dad in like… 10-11 years now. He still lives in my hometown and sometimes I have had run-ins when I'm around there, but he doesn't recognize me. Which is pretty bad, I think we look a lot alike.Ahh so your half-siblings are the most primary reason you want to have a relationship with your dad. That's not a bad thing at all, though your dad is a complete douche-nozzle for producing you and your sisters and dumping you to get with another woman and make more babies he doesn't give a shit about XP I really would like to have a relationship with my younger half-brother, but I don't give 2 shits about the rest of them. He'll be 17 in about 3 months, but I think it's best I still wait until much later before I contact him.
And part of me wonders if I should. I was extremely livid when my aunt and cousins and some other people were telling me how shitty he would treat and talk to him in public. He's done a lot for my step mom's kids but has been nothing but an asshole to his actual children. When my half brother was little they were all pretty rude to him, and me. A lot of the crap they would do to me they instead started doing to him, and it was uncalled for. You'd think my step mom would've given a bigger shit about her own kid, but she treated her older 2 better than him >__> It made no sense. That's why its probably not worth trying to reach out to my dad since seemingly basic logic and reason escapes him.
I guess you have to stay civil with your dad for the sake of your younger siblings, which is something. I wonder if your sisters view your dad's remarriage and their subsequent offspring with a lot of jealousy and malice, probably more malice. The feel when your father treats you like shit and then goes and haves himself another family is shitty as an adult, but even more soul-crushing as a child. That could be a huge factor in why they don't want anything to do with them. They must have been old enough to realize daddy didn't give a shit about them whenever he left all of you. Then they see him start a new family. That's a pretty hefty betrayal. I'm decently pissed at the fact my dad did tons of shit for his adopted kids while he had to be pushed into doing anything for me. I was his first kid, it's not like I came behind anyone else. Even if they're not exactly jealous, I definitely bet your sisters feel betrayed.
[/hide]
[hide]Wow. He doesn't recognize you? That's ludicrous. Odds are, if your dad is like mine, he probably recognizes you full well but chooses to do any say nothing.
"though your dad is a complete douche-nozzle for producing you and your sisters and dumping you to get with another woman and make more babies he doesn't give a shit about" Tell me about it. Though he is an ass to them due to his personality and way he speaks, he still has the audacity to brag to me what he buys for them, like gaming consoles and all this other shit. A few months ago the oldest got LASER EYE SURGERY SO SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WEAR GLASSES ANYMORE. You know what he got for us when me and my sisters were kids? Jack. Worse, he fought my mom in court for YEARS so he wouldn't have to pay child support while we were growing up. And guess what? He won.
"I really would like to have a relationship with my younger half-brother, but I don't give 2 shits about the rest of them"
I would really encourage you to do so, in secret. He should be old enough to know how to keep his mouth shut. He probably has facebook or a cellphone or something, just have some sort of communication with him because really, kids from parents like ours need someone normal to look up to and ask for advice. Worse, you really don't want your younger siblings turning out like them.
"They must have been old enough to realize daddy didn't give a shit about them whenever he left all of you. Then they see him start a new family. That's a pretty hefty betrayal. I'm decently pissed at the fact my dad did tons of shit for his adopted kids while he had to be pushed into doing anything for me. I was his first kid, it's not like I came behind anyone else. Even if they're not exactly jealous, I definitely bet your sisters feel betrayed." I don't understand how your dad can treat his step-children better than his own. It's absolutely insane.
Yeah, my sisters feel betrayed, I do, too. But just like your situation, I've given up trying to figure out why because it's too late to fix any of that. Like I said earlier on, I feel content knowing that some people will meet absolute justice in the hereafter, because he sure as shit didn't meet it here. [/hide]
Hidden:
I might post this in one of the writing threads if it's more appropriate.
I have this story that I've been working on since I was like 7 years old (some of you might now what I'm talking about). I want it to get popular, so that it can be a TV show (then grow into a franchise) and I can make a lot of money.
At first, it was a simple, cool action show that was inspired (and even took the form of) many different action anime shows. The show itself didn't really have a strong, coherent storyline/full story, but it seemed like the type of show that would be entertaining off the bat, regardless. But I still wanted the plot to be stronger, so I tried really hard.
Then, I got bullied.. After that, I switched schools, then switched back, and I just changed completely. I started getting involved and learned about a lot of mature/political/psychological subject matter, and decided to incorporate a lot of that into that story. (The story itself takes place in a near apocalyptic world, where the few remaining humans are left hiding since they are powerless against this human-like, alien race. However, a few group of humans gain their power, and decide to save humanity. Along the way, the experience all what humanity has to offer - and that can be anything from simple relationships to terrible attempted genocides and ideologies.)
The story itself now has a coherent, through-line, but I realized that I had a lot of fun making the older story (the simple action one.) Though, in its current form, it will probably be more accessible worldwide (cause the original action one was based in regular everyday life, with a group of kids who had powers. It was basically based in what looked like an average American city.).
What should I do?
Well, if you like both histories you can do both right?
After hearing that she is opening for Nickel Creek on their reunion tour, I discovered Sarah Jarosz and never have I felt so inferior as a musician. I think what hit me so hard is that she's apparently only days younger than I. I mean, sure child prodigies are one thing, but this is a girl that's already accomplished most of my big-time goals in her own way and she's my age. It kind of just devours any excuse I could have been holding on to and motivates me to work harder. I think I really needed that lately.
[hide]Wow. He doesn't recognize you? That's ludicrous. Odds are, if your dad is like mine, he probably recognizes you full well but chooses to do any say nothing.
"though your dad is a complete douche-nozzle for producing you and your sisters and dumping you to get with another woman and make more babies he doesn't give a shit about" Tell me about it. Though he is an ass to them due to his personality and way he speaks, he still has the audacity to brag to me what he buys for them, like gaming consoles and all this other shit. A few months ago the oldest got LASER EYE SURGERY SO SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WEAR GLASSES ANYMORE. You know what he got for us when me and my sisters were kids? Jack. Worse, he fought my mom in court for YEARS so he wouldn't have to pay child support while we were growing up. And guess what? He won."I really would like to have a relationship with my younger half-brother, but I don't give 2 shits about the rest of them"
I would really encourage you to do so, in secret. He should be old enough to know how to keep his mouth shut. He probably has facebook or a cellphone or something, just have some sort of communication with him because really, kids from parents like ours need someone normal to look up to and ask for advice. Worse, you really don't want your younger siblings turning out like them."They must have been old enough to realize daddy didn't give a shit about them whenever he left all of you. Then they see him start a new family. That's a pretty hefty betrayal. I'm decently pissed at the fact my dad did tons of shit for his adopted kids while he had to be pushed into doing anything for me. I was his first kid, it's not like I came behind anyone else. Even if they're not exactly jealous, I definitely bet your sisters feel betrayed." I don't understand how your dad can treat his step-children better than his own. It's absolutely insane.
Yeah, my sisters feel betrayed, I do, too. But just like your situation, I've given up trying to figure out why because it's too late to fix any of that. Like I said earlier on, I feel content knowing that some people will meet absolute justice in the hereafter, because he sure as shit didn't meet it here. [/hide]
[hide]
My dad was the same way with buying stuff, he only paid pennies in child support but was going on vacations and mission trips all over the world, buying my step siblings really nice things
… They never invited me on trips, the only trip I ever took with them was to go to my step-mothers parents house and be stuck with her family for a better part of a week! My mom had to scream at him to pay for part of my braces XP I really don't get why some men just.. do this. They dump the first family they start, then begin anew and actually keep it together. It's extremely self centered and all kinds of fucked up.
My step mother is a pretty scary bitch who probably screams at my dad a lot, and I know he has been sleeping around on her but they stay together. I really don't want to get all up in that business XP They're both crazy[/hide]
Work: N/A
Life: horrible morning, with a huge fight with my mom, the rest of the day was nice, I spend my day with my girlfriend (so yeah, dance and eating).
We will go to the São Paulo LGBT pride parade tomorrow, so we prepared everything for that day, from what I hear, we are going to stay at the top of one of the parade float.
@Print:
Just using $ in the variable sense, like with PHP. So in this case, it's a placeholder for the company I work for. And yeah, it is software, though admittedly I'm more a web developer so I'm having to pick up a lot of new stuff as well as honing the stuff I already know and follow.
Nerrrrd.
What should I do?
Go for whatever feels most fun to do at the time would be my advice. And one idea can diverge into two with a little adaptation.
These past few days have been one of the bestest days of my life. It's really true… love comes when it comes and when you don't expect it. Laying on the bed in the dark, looking in each other's eyes, smiling, hugging and kissing~~
And freckles are cute~
Day full of shocking surprises that hurt, new clothes and a friend over for dinner whilst getting him to watch One Piece.
. 
