If there is a god, this sequel is proof that he hates us.
"The original, traditional, one-hundred-percent, red-blooded, two-fisted, All-American Christmas continues five years later," reads the official press release, "with Ralphie (Braeden Lemasters), Randy (Valin Shinyei), Mom (Stacey Travis), and the Old Man (Daniel Stern). This time, Ralphie has his eyes fixed on a car. But trouble is sure to follow."