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Talk LGBT Issues And Be Nice About It
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@The:
[hide]Maybe it's because I still can't quite grasp the entire idea of gender, but I don't know why there would be a need for more than two. While gender and sex are two different things, it feels like these days when you talk to the average person, it's pretty interchangeable. When someone says they are male, first thing that pops in my mind is the person will have certain physical traits, unless otherwise noted. Outside of having a small idea of what they can look like, I know nothing about them, and have to talk to them more to really get to know them.
The one thing I can understand is that while we have improved in a number of ways, there are still gender roles that are hardwired in society, and by identifying as one of the two genders, a lot of people will expect certain things from you. So as a male, I've had people expect me to love sports, hunting, and other things that can be assumed more for males, where if I was female and didn't care for those, people wouldn't be judging me for not liking those things. So I can see that not being defined as either would feel freeing in some way. Still, it seems less like an issue have having new gender terms and just trying to get rid of the idea of genders for the most part? Like I said, I still don't quite grasp the entire scope of what gender encompasses, so I could be looking at this wrong.[/HIDE]
No I think you're on to something, as the idea of gender can really be like a cage in one way or another, especially if you have a strong, expressive personality (or even a slightly nonconforming one like guys who wanna watch ballet) or a gender identity that openly clashes with the body you are born with. You will feel forced to conform implicitly or explicitly. Of course the idea of many genders is meant to provoke and make people think of the possibility of getting rid of gender as a category and just take humans as individuals, with their individual character. Our society is fucking OBSESSED with catering gendered products to us, and we in turn become obsessed with neatly ordering things as either male or female (just fucking look at Wall-E and other movies with agender objects and our urge to present them as heterosexual couples lol). So I think getting rid of that category and allowing an individual gender (not to be confused with infinite genders or changing my gender like underwear) could be subversive.
Even biological sex (male and female) has waaay more nuances than we think, meanig people will of course lean strongly to one side biologically, but can be a mix or simply fall in between biologically (it's really not as rare and one in billion as one might think). The categorization of male and female is good for a good chunk of the population but not all, as even here, with hormones, chromosomes and body/brain structure, even with clear sexual Organs, sex can be placed on a spectrum too. The prototype male and prototype female rarely exist, but are important to have for medical reasons of course.You see, coming out at my workplace has been a very thought-provoking experience. I was prepared to explain the meaning of transgender and collected basic info I felt was needed to be able to successfully come out to my co-workers and bosses. I had to realize that simply saying transgender or transsexual is not enough for most people. Additional explanations are necessary, and this can become impractical in certain situations. Using myself as an example, if I wanted to describe myself simply without going to great lengths about everything, I usually try to say "I'm a gay transman".
Do people really expect you to talk about your gender and sexual orientation so freely? I've been working at my current workplace for 2 Years now and when it's concerned with work, I am an asexual sexless being and all questions about my private sexual preferences are blocked and that's that. Unless I really like a colleague as a private friend of course. It would be my personal nightmare to disclose my sexual orientation in an introductory sentence to a complete stranger (even if you're straight, it puts you into a context that is sexualising). So if it's expected of you and they keep asking for those details in the context of your trans identity? If yes, I understand how emotionally tough you have to be and you got nothing but my support and respect.
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No I think you're on to something, as the idea of gender can really be like a cage in one way or another, especially if you have a strong, expressive personality (or even a slightly nonconforming one like guys who wanna watch ballet) or a gender identity that openly clashes with the body you are born with. You will feel forced to conform implicitly or explicitly. Of course the idea of many genders is meant to provoke and make people think of the possibility of getting rid of gender as a category and just take humans as individuals, with their individual character. Our society is fucking OBSESSED with catering gendered products to us, and we in turn become obsessed with neatly ordering things as either male or female (just fucking look at Wall-E and other movies with agender objects and our urge to present them as heterosexual couples lol). So I think getting rid of that category and allowing an individual gender (not to be confused with infinite genders or changing my gender like underwear) could be subversive.
Even biological sex (male and female) has waaay more nuances than we think, meanig people will of course lean strongly to one side biologically, but can be a mix or simply fall in between biologically (it's really not as rare and one in billion as one might think). The categorization of male and female is good for a good chunk of the population but not all, as even here, with hormones, chromosomes and body/brain structure, even with clear sexual Organs, sex can be placed on a spectrum too. The prototype male and prototype female rarely exist, but are important to have for medical reasons of course.Do people really expect you to talk about your gender and sexual orientation so freely? I've been working at my current workplace for 2 Years now and when it's concerned with work, I am an asexual sexless being and all questions about my private sexual preferences are blocked and that's that. Unless I really like a colleague as a private friend of course. It would be my personal nightmare to disclose my sexual orientation in an introductory sentence to a complete stranger (even if you're straight, it puts you into a context that is sexualising). So if it's expected of you and they keep asking for those details in the context of your trans identity? If yes, I understand how emotionally tough you have to be and you got nothing but my support and respect.
Ah, you misunderstood me. When I came out, it didn't suffice for me to simply say "Hey, I'm trans, so call Caleb, okay?" because people here simply weren't that familiar with the term. So I briefly explained my situation, and through it, what it can mean to be transgender. I left the conversation open for all interested, letting everyone know that questions are welcome. They didn't expect anything from me, everything I said, I did so voluntarily. I chose to disclose a lot of things because of the general friendly atmosphere among my colleagues and because I truly believe that through my example, I can further the cause of the trans-movement. A rather small step, but a step nonetheless.
As for my sexual orientation, closer colleagues asked (all of them appropriately and not at all disrespectfully) and I told them. I felt no reason not to just say it, it's quite empowering to be able to just admit that on top of being trans, I'm also gay. On the other hand, it is in no way a requirement for any workplace to disclose such information to colleagues, and I'm not even advocating being that open in every situation. I decided to do so and it worked for me. -
Yes I misunderstood then! It's a big relief to hear the atmosphere and acceptance is so nice in your workplace Nolus! :) If it's all in a respectful manner and you don't feel pressured it's all good! And I like how mature and confident you are about being a "messenger" so to say! :)
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Yes I misunderstood then! It's a big relief to hear the atmosphere and acceptance is so nice in your workplace Nolus! :) If it's all in a respectful manner and you don't feel pressured it's all good! And I like how mature and confident you are about being a "messenger" so to say! :)
A lot of it comes down to loving my job and enjoying the atmosphere and company of my colleagues. In fact, I'm now happier now, since I no longer have to lie about my whereabouts when I'm not at work. I used to say I was going to university when in reality I had an appointment with a doc about something concerning my transgender status. Now I can say it how it really is, and it's super uplifting.
Also, and this is most surprising to me I think, I do have a desire to stand up for myself and others like me and inform people what we are really like. To let them see as not a threat, but just another part of humanity. I kinda want to stand in front of a crowd and educate them about these issues. On the other hand, if the people I'm talking to aren't accepting, I might be in for a nasty experience.
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That's some very sage wisdom there, spambot
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Once again, I'm interested in your opinions, this time, anout sexuality.
Is it weird that I'm attracted to both males and females yet feel like I'd only be willing to get romantically involved in a gay relationship?
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I don't think so.
People look for different things when they're looking for long term mates/parters than when they're looking for attractiveness based just on lust/desire.Imagine a good looking person with an awful personality, they make you think "Oh, we could have tons of fun for a night/weekend but I could not deal with being married to you for the rest of my life"
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Once again, I'm interested in your opinions, this time, anout sexuality.
Is it weird that I'm attracted to both males and females yet feel like I'd only be willing to get romantically involved in a gay relationship?
My question would be: what if a really attractive girl you like actually turned out to be an excellent friend and companion? Would you not consider being with her?
I do know there's things like hetero and homoromantic, but I ask mostly since I remember also having specifics about what gender I did or didn't want to date and in the end that just flew out the window the second I got to be with someone who just worked.
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Once again, I'm interested in your opinions, this time, anout sexuality.
Is it weird that I'm attracted to both males and females yet feel like I'd only be willing to get romantically involved in a gay relationship?
Not really. Everyone's sexuality is to some extent different, so I don't really see an issue with that.
I have something similar going on TBH. I am bi. I'm definitely attracted to both men and women, but… Maybe I'm more attracted to men is the thing? I can just straight up lust after a guy. Like, Chris Hemsworth... does it for me... like a lot...
When it comes to Women however, I like... have to have an emotional connection to them first for a physical attraction to follow. Sometimes feels kinda weird but it's how I am.
The point of telling that was to just highlight that everyone is different and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another.
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Hey everyone, I'm hoping this is the appropriate place to post this.
This last year or so, I've been questioning my sexual identity. I've always considered myself to be straight, and have always thought I loved sex just like everyone else, but I'm starting to question if I'm asexual. It's confusing because I still find girls attractive, and still regularly pleasure myself, but when the opportunity arises that would lead to going home with a girl, I find myself backing out. I've had a few long term relationships, and even back then sex was just going through the motions. It was never magical or anything, and I'd often be thinking "this isn't that great, sex is overrated" while having sex.
It's also confusing because my last two sexual encounters were a bit…promiscuous...which I never do, but I felt I needed to explore if I truly was asexual. I feel I shouldn't base anything off those two encounters, because I didn't necessarily find the girls attractive, and that could be a reason why afterwards I felt I didn't like sex.
I don't know what to think, because finding love was (and still is) my main goal in life, and I used to think sex was also a big part of my life. I'm definitely still a romantic, and often fantasize about the actual romance of relationships. Also, I still like the idea of sex, just not the actual in-person sexual interaction.
I guess some of my questions are:
-do I sound like i'm asexual?
-are asexuals able to have meaningful relationships?
-do asexuals choose to have sex with their partners, for their partners?Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated!
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Hey everyone, I'm hoping this is the appropriate place to post this.
This last year or so, I've been questioning my sexual identity. I've always considered myself to be straight, and have always thought I loved sex just like everyone else, but I'm starting to question if I'm asexual. It's confusing because I still find girls attractive, and still regularly pleasure myself, but when the opportunity arises that would lead to going home with a girl, I find myself backing out. I've had a few long term relationships, and even back then sex was just going through the motions. It was never magical or anything, and I'd often be thinking "this isn't that great, sex is overrated" while having sex.
It's also confusing because my last two sexual encounters were a bit…promiscuous...which I never do, but I felt I needed to explore if I truly was asexual. I feel I shouldn't base anything off those two encounters, because I didn't necessarily find the girls attractive, and that could be a reason why afterwards I felt I didn't like sex.
I don't know what to think, because finding love was (and still is) my main goal in life, and I used to think sex was also a big part of my life. I'm definitely still a romantic, and often fantasize about the actual romance of relationships. Also, I still like the idea of sex, just not the actual in-person sexual interaction.
I guess some of my questions are:
-do I sound like i'm asexual?
-are asexuals able to have meaningful relationships?
-do asexuals choose to have sex with their partners, for their partners?Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated!
I generally see myself as straight, but I very much resonate with what you've written here. The last few encounters I've had with girls didn't mean much… and left me feeling a little hollow on the inside, it was just... sex, ya know. No emotion, just kinda in-and-out and then you cum and she's happy but I'm like... eh. Made me reluctant to even go for round two and three. I did, but only because she was clearly keen and I didn't really feel like I had any strong reason to say no, but like... I would've happily gone home and watched TV instead lol. Even before that, I was in a long term relationship, and yes, I did want the sex, I like the idea of it... but I can't say I really enjoyed it or found it magical. It's just sex. Like, you know, you're keen, you want the girl, you wanna please her, and have sex with her... but during the actual act, I'm left feeling a tad dissappointed by how... eh it all is.
Now, my way of making it a little more "fun" for myself is to enjoy the powerplay dom-sub dynamics moreso than the actual act. My way of rationalising it is, "well, sex itself isn't that great... but the dom/sub power dynamic is a massive turn on... lets do more of that". In fact, the one time I got with a girl that was super into it (and was really my type)... undescribably good sex, I still have flashbacks to how amazing it was.
Also, just like you, I'm still very much into I want a romantic relationship, though when I think of it, it's less about sex and more about cute couple stuff and having a romantic partner to love. Idk, maybe I'm kinda ace in a way too, and tbh that'd be fine. Doesn't really affect anything in life, does it? Just makes you wanna have sex less that the average guy, right? And that's fine, societal pressure on guys to have sex often is bullshit anyway, ignore the noise and you do you. Well, that's how I see it anyway. Hope I was of help or something idk
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-do I sound like i'm asexual?
Asexuals actually do no exist. And I know I'm gonna be called a fascist for saying this –-b.u.t. whatever.
-are asexuals able to have meaningful relationships?
Yes, guys and ladies who are not fond of sex can have meaningful relationships.
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Asexuals actually do no exist. And I know I'm gonna be called a fascist for saying this –-b.u.t. whatever.
Lol wtf go on Nilitch show me the scientific study backing up this sweeping statement, I'm curious. I'll hold off calling you a misinformed smartass until then.
Also, why would we call you a fascist? The fascist attitude would be "kill/deport/denyrightsto the asexuals" not "the asexuals don't exist". To claim they don't exist outright… bah it's just stupid obtuseness lol... that is, unless you can show me that pretty pretty peer reviewed study published in a well regarded scientific journal I very eagerly await your posting.
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Lol wtf go on Nilitch show me the scientific study backing up this sweeping statement, I'm curious. I'll hold off calling you a misinformed smartass until then.
Not wanting to bang everyone doesn't make you a superior being, sorry
Show me anything that isn't from tumblr that proves its "existence". Because yeah, that's actually how it works. I'm not the who has to do the searching job.
Believing in asexualism is like believing in gods. Nothing except what you say can "prove it". "Then, if they don't exist, explain my why I am asexual?" is like, the same dumb statement we get every time someone who doesn't wanna fuck everyone thinks he has transcended human nature.At best they can exist in fiction. Like uhh, I guess Oda said Luffy was asexual after all.
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Also, why would we call you a fascist? The fascist attitude would be "kill/deport/denyrightsto the asexuals" not "the asexuals don't exist". To claim they don't exist outright… bah it's just stupid obtuseness lol... that is, unless you can show me that pretty pretty peer reviewed study published in a well regarded scientific journal I very eagerly await your posting.
Because enlightened liberals can get very edgy
I'd get "hey, saying asexuals don't exist is like saying homosexuals don't exist, this is fascist" -
I generally see myself as straight, but I very much resonate with what you've written here. The last few encounters I've had with girls didn't mean much… and left me feeling a little hollow on the inside, it was just... sex, ya know. No emotion, just kinda in-and-out and then you cum and she's happy but I'm like... eh. Made me reluctant to even go for round two and three. I did, but only because she was clearly keen and I didn't really feel like I had any strong reason to say no, but like... I would've happily gone home and watched TV instead lol. Even before that, I was in a long term relationship, and yes, I did want the sex, I like the idea of it... but I can't say I really enjoyed it or found it magical. It's just sex. Like, you know, you're keen, you want the girl, you wanna please her, and have sex with her... but during the actual act, I'm left feeling a tad dissappointed by how... eh it all is.
Now, my way of making it a little more "fun" for myself is to enjoy the powerplay dom-sub dynamics moreso than the actual act. My way of rationalising it is, "well, sex itself isn't that great... but the dom/sub power dynamic is a massive turn on... lets do more of that". In fact, the one time I got with a girl that was super into it (and was really my type)... undescribably good sex, I still have flashbacks to how amazing it was.
Also, just like you, I'm still very much into I want a romantic relationship, though when I think of it, it's less about sex and more about cute couple stuff and having a romantic partner to love. Idk, maybe I'm kinda ace in a way too, and tbh that'd be fine. Doesn't really affect anything in life, does it? Just makes you wanna have sex less that the average guy, right? And that's fine, societal pressure on guys to have sex often is bullshit anyway, ignore the noise and you do you. Well, that's how I see it anyway. Hope I was of help or something idk
Interesting. Never really thought of bringing a kink to make things interesting, although I don't know if it would help. I've actually never been able to finish during sex. Not once. In fact, the last two times, I've faked it just because I was getting zero enjoyment. I get what you mean though, and you're right, it wouldn't have any huge impact on life, hell it might be a positive thing to not be focused on sex.
@nilitch as much as you'd like it, no one is going to call you a fascist from that comment. With your rep and ignorant opinions, you make it very easy to disregard everything you say
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Asexuals actually do no exist.
Actually, you are quite wrong in this. People that are asexual don't care about sex at all. They prefer other things over it; but it also does not mean they could not be in a relationship either. There is also the romantic side; AKA you can feel romantic towards someone and not be interested in sex. Science also proves asexuality is real, so you are stating a false statement with no backing behind it.
Anyways, here is evidence supporting that asexuality is real to back up my claim:
Asexuality is a sexual orientation, like homosexuality or heterosexuality. And like being straight or being gay, it’s about what someone feels, not what someone does. Dating, having sex, masturbating, falling in love, getting married, or having children do not conflict with asexuality in any way. There are many reasons why an asexual person might do these things that do not require sexual attraction to be present.
Experiencing arousal or orgasm also do not conflict with asexuality.There is also a spectrum as well:
Some people feel that they are “almost asexual” or “asexual with an exception”. That is, they strongly identify with being asexual, except for a few limited or infrequent experiences of sexual attraction. Gray-asexual people fall in between asexuality and non-asexuality. In some cases, they experience sexual attraction only rarely. In others, they’re unsure if they’ve experienced it or don’t feel that they quite fit the definition of asexual in some way. Demisexual people are only capable of feeling sexual attraction after developing a strong emotional bond with someone. Demisexuality and gray-asexuality fall within what’s called the “asexual spectrum”.
Source: http://www.whatisasexuality.com/intro/ By the way, this link above can you give more information about asexuality, plus signs thegab ^
@thegab:….
Anyways, here are some more evidence from other websites:
Asexuality is an emerging identity category that challenges the common assumption that everyone is defined by some type of sexual attraction. Asexuals–those who report feeling no sexual attraction to others--constitute one percent of the population, according to one prominent study
Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24654293
^ This is a really creditable source by the way. It is from the "U.S National Library of Medicine".
In a videotaped
, Brotto points to the fact that asexual people feel no distress for the condition, whereas those who suffer from a physiological condition causing them to lose their libido do feel distress. She also states “there’s no reparative therapy” for asexual people.You can check out all three of those links to learn more about what it means to be asexual. There is more to it than you think. And if you refuse to believe this actual creditable sources, I don't know what to tell you. Hopefully, this can help you educate you more on the subject.
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I think this is a perfect place to post this.
Based on what you posted, I'm not sure if you are asexual or not. One or two situations probably can't speak for everything. In the end though, it's up to you and how you want to label yourself. There's nothing wrong with being asexual, and there's nothing wrong with being allosexual(not asexual) either.
Asexuals are totally able to have meaningful relationships. One very good friend of mine is married to an allosexual and they have a perfect relationship because they are open and honest with each other about needs and wants. And, from what I understand, they do have sex. What the reasons are, I am not privy to, but just being asexual does not mean all sex is horrible and terrible, it just depends where on the spectrum one might fall.
My biggest advice I suppose would just be to go read up on asexual stuff, and the spectrum, and just see how much if any applies to you.
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Show me anything that isn't from tumblr that proves its "existence". Because yeah, that's actually how it works. I'm not the who has to do the searching job.
Believing in asexualism is like believing in gods. Nothing except what you say can "prove it". "Then, if they don't exist, explain my why I am asexual?" is like, the same dumb statement we get every time someone who doesn't wanna fuck everyone thinks he has transcended human nature.Um, no it is nothing not like that all. You have no evidence supporting your claim. You are just denying people of who they are, pretending they don't exist. If you look at the links I posted in my last post, it shows actual scientific evidence about asexuality. It should educate you greatly on the subject.
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Actually, you are quite wrong in this. People that are asexual don't care about sex at all. They prefer other things over it; but it also does not mean they could not be in a relationship either. There is also the romantic side; AKA you can feel romantic towards someone and not be interested in sex. Science also proves asexuality is real, so you are stating a false statement with no backing behind it.
Anyways, here is evidence supporting that asexuality is real to back up my claim:
There is also a spectrum as well:
Source: http://www.whatisasexuality.com/intro/ By the way, this link above can you give more information about asexuality, plus signs thegab ^
Anyways, here are some more evidence from other websites:
Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24654293
^ This is a really creditable source by the way. It is from the "U.S National Library of Medicine".
You can check out all three of those links to learn more about what it means to be asexual. There is more to it than you think. And if you refuse to believe this actual creditable sources, I don't know what to tell you. Hopefully, this can help you educate you more on the subject.
Thanks! I'll definitely start looking through those links. I didn't know there was a spectrum, though I assumed it wasn't a "one size fits all" term. Anyways, I appreciate the feedback
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Thanks! I'll definitely start looking through those links. I didn't know there was a spectrum, though I assumed it wasn't a "one size fits all" term. Anyways, I appreciate the feedback
You are very welcome! :)
I hope the information helps you greatly! :)
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Not wanting to bang everyone doesn't make you a superior being, sorry
I never said it does. Your claims being unsubstantiated do make you look quite ridiculous though.
Show me anything that isn't from tumblr that proves its "existence". Because yeah, that's actually how it works. I'm not the who has to do the searching job.
Believing in asexualism is like believing in gods. Nothing except what you say can "prove it". "Then, if they don't exist, explain my why I am asexual?" is like, the same dumb statement we get every time someone who doesn't wanna fuck everyone thinks he has transcended human nature.I have asexual friends, what are you even on about? Kids are bloody asexual, do kids not exist too? I'm pretty sure the majority of "being asexual" is just a question of low libido due to hormones etc, it's not difficult to imagine biological reasons behind asexualism, you're just being stubborn because "ehh edgy right wing views sexualities other than my own don't exiiist".
Because enlightened liberals can get very edgy
I'd get "hey, saying asexuals don't exist is like saying homosexuals don't exist, this is fascist"Enlightened liberals may very well get edgy, but jeesh, denying that a sexuality defined as the "absence of sexual drive" doesn't exist is like saying atheists doesn't exist. It's just dumb, sorry. If you wanna say people who identify as a race other than that which they were born into are bullshitting, be my guest, but this claim is just a losing battle, why are you even trying to defend this?
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Interesting. Never really thought of bringing a kink to make things interesting, although I don't know if it would help. I've actually never been able to finish during sex. Not once. In fact, the last two times, I've faked it just because I was getting zero enjoyment. I get what you mean though, and you're right, it wouldn't have any huge impact on life, hell it might be a positive thing to not be focused on sex.
Not finishing is also something I've had a few times… tbh for me it's mostly the case when I'm with someone new and you feel sort of this weird pressure to perform for a decent amount of time, while also eventually finishing... it just gets too stressful. You can't enjoy the sex, it's just about doing a job, it's not fun.
After maybe 6 months of relationship with someone whom I really really trusted and got used to being with in bed... I started having far fewer problems. Oh, and BJs do the trick for me when normal sex doesn't... but that might just be the dom kink kicking in lol.
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Not wanting to bang everyone doesn't make you a superior being, sorry
Being asexual has never ever been about feeling superior to others. In fact, from what I've heard from people who are asexual, it is far from an enjoyable thing that they want to go bragging to people about. I wish we had someone who was definitely asexual here (if someone is and they already responded, sorry, I didn't get that vibe from what I read) so we could get down to the specifics. I think it comes down the unique expectations of living in a culture that expects you to want to have sex with others, and also family and culture that expect you to procreate. But again, I'm not speaking from my own experiences as I am not asexual.
I'm just saying, people labeling themselves as asexual are NOT doing it to feel superior than others, it's because they lack sexual attraction.
I mean, I understand, I've seen some definitions of it from Tumblr which overlap beyond lacking sexual attraction and that has always kind of confused me, as I'm far from asexual, but some of the traits asexual people are said to have I also have (like I'm, in reality, grossed out by sex or really too much physical interaction with other people), but I have a sex drive which overwrites that..somewhat. >.<
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What people are calling asexuality has always existed with other names. But recently, this term has been invented, involving all the BS about transcending your human limitations–- and these people believing they're übermensch and shit.
I'll stop here, because I can already smell people writing "gotha ! that's semantic. fuck semantic ! and haha we're not sophists (and post-modernists)"
People are not asexual or sapiosexual, they're just arrogantAlso, me trying to figure out the difference between frigid and asexual, and a bunch of other concepts
Also, me wondering how much porn asexuals consume.
I have known people who have no sexual life whatsoever. They're straight and they know they are. And they don't need edgy concepts like : asexuality.
btw, there is a little book of Freud about DeVinci that explains how you can live without sex (through work, like a lot of work).
It's called "Leonardo da Vinci and A Memory of His Childhood""ehh edgy right wing views sexualities other than my own don't exiiist".
Am I right wing ?
Enlightened liberals may very well get edgy, but jeesh, denying that a sexuality defined as the "absence of sexual drive" doesn't exist is like saying atheists doesn't exist. It's just dumb, sorry. If you wanna say people who identify as a race other than that which they were born into are bullshitting, be my guest, but this claim is just a losing battle, why are you even trying to defend this?
Yes sophist, just compare religions to a human body/passions. Looks very harmonious and logical.
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it's because they lack sexual attraction.
Which is not a sexual orientation like heterosexuality, homosexuality and bi-sexuality are
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What people are calling asexuality has always existed with other names. But recently, this term has been invented, involving all the BS about transcending your human limitations–- and these people believing they're übermensch and shit.
I'll stop here, because I can already smell people writing "gotha ! that's semantic. fuck semantic ! and haha we're not sophists (and post-modernists)"
People are not asexual or sapiosexual, they're just arrogant
Also, me trying to figure out the difference between frigid and asexual, and a bunch of other concepts
Also, me wondering how much porn asexuals consume.
I have known people who have no sexual life whatsoever. They're straight and they know they are. And they don't need edgy concepts like : asexuality.
btw, there is a little book of Freud about DeVinci that explains how you can live without sex (through work, like a lot of work).
It's called "Leonardo da Vinci and A Memory of His Childhood"
Am I right wing ?
Yes sophist, just compare religions to a human body/passions. Looks very harmonious and logical.
Which is not a sexual orientation like heterosexuality, homosexuality and bi-sexuality areDude… just... what? Go have a cold shower, you've been on tumblr for too long, it's gotten to your head, you've lost the plot.
As for "Am I right wing"... perhaps not, but your view that "asexuals don't exist" is precisely what you'd hear from an edgy right winger trying to trigger the sensitive libs. Just stop. Like really. Stop.
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-provides actual scientific articles that asexuality is real-
-gets ignored-
-guess Nilitch refuses to face the truth, so he avoided little old me-
Also, Freud is not a reliable source anymore, he has been proven wrong many times; which we learned more about how things work with humans. I know this because I learned it in my group therapies, actual professionals in the field.
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
Also, some more sources to show asexuality is real:
https://news.stanford.edu/2015/02/23/asexuality-studies-scholar-022315/
https://asexuality.weebly.com/scientific-research.html
Oh, and a nice youtube video explaining stuff about sexuality with sources of their own:
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
Ekila's Sources: Seven up-to-date articles proving it is real.
Nilitch Sources: One outdated book from Freud who was proven wrong on other topics. Which in what you said talks about celibacy not asexuality. Being asexual does not take work at all honey :)
Ekila wins! ^_______^
--- Update From New Post Merge ---
One last thing! Celibacy is not the same as asexuality! Which I believe is in the sources I have posted. You should read them Nilitch-kun, it can help educate you more about the subject :)
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Why do the least qualified people always feel the need to come in here and be the opposite of constructive? At any rate Nilitch is now threadbanned.
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I've never seen someone with a vendetta against asexuality before…it's really weird, outright contempt for the very idea. I get homophobia because it challenges deeply-ingrained dogmatic beliefs, but never heard anyone vehemently argue against asexuality itself.
Of course some dip could use it a crutch to make their vapid and dull personality seem more interesting, but that doesn't really matter in the end, right? Or someone unfuckable hiding behind it, but I don't see anything edgy or post-modernist about either these things, seems like the core issue could be insecurity at worst. -
Why do the least qualified people always feel the need to come in here and be the opposite of constructive? At any rate Nilitch is now threadbanned.
Yeah, plus he completely ignored my posts showing the evidence that it is real, plus he was showing nothing to back up his claim. Expect some book from Freud that talks about celibacy. Oh, well.
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I've never seen someone with a vendetta against asexuality before…it's really weird, outright contempt for the very idea. I get homophobia because it challenges deeply-ingrained dogmatic beliefs, but never heard anyone vehemently argue against asexuality itself.
Of course some dip could use it a crutch to make their vapid and dull personality seem more interesting, but that doesn't really matter in the end, right? Or someone unfuckable hiding behind it, but I don't see anything edgy or post-modernist about either these things, seems like the core issue could be insecurity at worst.I agree with how strange it is, but I've met other people on this forum who were strongly against the concept of asexuality. Who claimed that it was just straight people not often getting or wanting sex, not lacking any sort of potential libido. And they take such unnecessary offense to it, like people claiming to be asexual are trying to deny their humanity or be superior something. What makes it weird most of all for me is how I think that if bisexuality can exist, then why can't the opposite happen of finding no sexual appeal in either gender? It's not that hard to fathom or at least tolerate without becoming a stubborn douche about it.
I've known a few asexual friends and dated an asexual girl last year, so I have a decent perspective on how and why they feel certain things about sexual interest and intimacy. And I have ended up seeming romantically attractive to asexual people, which ends up relationship causing issues since I'm heterosexual. So it's fairly common to meet asexual folks throughout your life, they're everywhere if you bother to ask around.
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Is being asexual and heterosexual mutually exclusive? Hadn't thought about the terms that way. I guess if asexual it'd be heteroromantic?
Also, what is allosexual? Had not heard that one before.
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Allosexual is the term used for people who are not asexual.
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Why isn't it just… sexual?
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@Serra:
Allosexual is the term used for people who are not asexual.
Oh. For a second I thought it was people who had sex with plants.
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Oh. For a second I thought it was people who had sex with plants.
It reminded me of allosaurus lol.
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Allosexual sounds like "being sexually into everything". Like, "all-sexual", into anything that moves… and doesn't move. You know, indiscriminitely of straight, bi, gay, necrophiliac, bestiality, furry... someone whom will do literally everything the sexual spectrum can "offer".
I know I'm being pedantic, and I'm probably wrong, but I too find it quite odd as the reverse of asexual . And there's nothing wrong with critiquing the etymology of the label for what is undoubtedly a very recent term when discussing sexuality issues. Why not just non-asexual? just "sexual" doesn't work for obvious reasons (association with the person being sexy/alluring/sexualized rather than the sexuality itself)
I mean... do we really need such precise terms for non-something very uncommon? A term to refer to all non-demisexuals? A term to refer to all non-queer? Straight doesn't fit the mark, neither does cis-gender, I think for convenience's sake it's probably easier to go by non-X than to use obscure terminology that's open to misunderstanding due to how recent an addition to the british language it really is.
That said, I think its more an academic discussion than an actually important one...and I am kinda sleep deprived... so sorry for the rambling...
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Allosexual makes me think of allopatric speciation, which despite sharing the root has pretty much nothing to do with it.
Anyways, the point of terms like cis-gender, allosexual, and the like is to be more inclusive by avoiding labeling one as "normal" or "standard." By creating to separate terms that don't use prefixes like "non-" to distinguish between them, the two or more states are put on equal rhetorical footing and it makes things a bit more accepting.
At a certain point of rarity, though, I do think it is fair to skip the necessity of such terms unless they're specifically relevant in context. Kind of like how people of extremely uncommon sexual orientations shouldn't really expect most people to know what the correct term is/means without some explanation.
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Some people said this offended them but I think it's just topical lighthearted humor, what do you think?
Interview with Caitlyn Jenner for those interested:
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I don't really find it offensive as much as just plain, uhm, pointless. The whole video seems like the ramblings of a drunk person. I mean, he seems alright, and the "except for trans serial killers" part made me chuckle at how out of the blue it was.
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Some people said this offended them but I think it's just topical lighthearted humor, what do you think?
Interview with Caitlyn Jenner for those interested:
Is he drunk? He sounds drunk. Really drunk. Literally everything he's said is really… weird drunk ramblings of a truly confused person. He couldn't even finish his out thought process without being derailed. "All Bs are Gs" and "all Ls are Gs" is a controversial, but tenable, stance, if you really want to argue over the semantics of "lesbian", "bisexual" and "gay". Personally I think it's redundant and misses the point, but it's tenable. Thing is, he wasn't even capable of getting through the sentence because of whatever substance he was on.
He also kinda tried to say that "LGB" and "T" don't necessarily stick together at some point, which again, is a defensible stance, despite being really redundant. But his drunk ramblings were too off-kilter to properly explain his thought process. I really only recognizedthe point he was making because I've heard it brought up before, if I had to only go off his "LGBT headquarters discussion" example I'd have no clue what the hell he's trying to say, it's just too wacky and incoherent.
Lastly, and probably the worst of the bunch... what was that about transgender people? That they're serial killers? Jesus that's not okay. Worst thing was, he kept on contradicting himself. First he says "there've only been 2 in the history of the world" implying that they're extremely rare and not the norm at all, much like any other group's prevalence of serial killers... and then he says "I like transgender people, just not their serial killer side"... completely undermining his point and sending dangerous mixed signals that I find extremely transphobic.
I think the only funny thing about the "interview" was the fact that due to his alcohol (or drugs) he was constantly signposting that he's not actually straight, or that he's in the closet. That whole spiel about only wanting to have sex with transgender and non-straight folk isn't something a straight person "jokes about"... made me feel like he's one of those self-loathing gay christian/right wing people, always hamming on about the sins of gay people and then being gay themselves.
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Is he drunk? He sounds drunk. Really drunk. Literally everything he's said is really… weird drunk ramblings of a truly confused person. He couldn't even finish his out thought process without being derailed. "All Bs are Gs" and "all Ls are Gs" is a controversial, but tenable, stance, if you really want to argue over the semantics of "lesbian", "bisexual" and "gay". Personally I think it's redundant and misses the point, but it's tenable. Thing is, he wasn't even capable of getting through the sentence because of whatever substance he was on.
He also kinda tried to say that "LGB" and "T" don't necessarily stick together at some point, which again, is a defensible stance, despite being really redundant. But his drunk ramblings were too off-kilter to properly explain his thought process. I really only recognizedthe point he was making because I've heard it brought up before, if I had to only go off his "LGBT headquarters discussion" example I'd have no clue what the hell he's trying to say, it's just too wacky and incoherent.
Lastly, and probably the worst of the bunch... what was that about transgender people? That they're serial killers? Jesus that's not okay. Worst thing was, he kept on contradicting himself. First he says "there've only been 2 in the history of the world" implying that they're extremely rare and not the norm at all, much like any other group's prevalence of serial killers... and then he says "I like transgender people, just not their serial killer side"... completely undermining his point and sending dangerous mixed signals that I find extremely transphobic.
I think the only funny thing about the "interview" was the fact that due to his alcohol (or drugs) he was constantly signposting that he's not actually straight, or that he's in the closet. That whole spiel about only wanting to have sex with transgender and non-straight folk isn't something a straight person "jokes about"... made me feel like he's one of those self-loathing gay christian/right wing people, always hamming on about the sins of gay people and then being gay themselves.
He meant serial killers who happened to be trans. Not that all trans people are serial killers. Like, he likes trans people, except for the ones that kill, but serial killers by default are "not okay".
EDIT: The bisexual part can be problematic (I forgot to mention that), but other than that, it's a pretty harmless video in my opinion.
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He meant serial killers who happened to be trans. Not that all trans people are serial killers. Like, he likes trans people, except for the ones that kill, but serial killers by default are "not okay".
EDIT: The bisexual part can be problematic (I forgot to mention that), but other than that, it's a pretty harmless video in my opinion.
Ah, you’re right, that is what he meant. His lack of punctuation in his speech and constant slurring just made it really difficult to pinpoint the subject of the sentence :wassat:
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Don't ask me why, but I've registered on Tinder out of curiosity, and as of know, I have a sort of date planned on Wednesday with one guy, in the weekend with another, and am currently chatting with a third one who's just implied quite heavily that he would like me to send him photos where I'm half naked (or dickpics).
None of them know I'm trans.
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In other news, the legal name and gender change procedure has resumed here in Hungary after being suspended for more than a year due to "making a new, better system for it".
Guess what. There is no new system, just the old one. The suspension served no purpose whatsoever.Still, I'm quite happy. I've already called one of the responsible departments and they said my case is being reviewed with the others' just now. I can expect a written answer sometimes in the future (hopefully sooner than later).
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Nolus I hope for some speed in getting your name change approved~!