@Purple:
Coupling this with your last post.
I understand that you are very appreciative of your boss's efforts , that he works hard, gets a lot of shit from his wife, manager, and did some I suppose not so good things to get you back to this store. He sounds like someone who works hard to get everything done and not lose talent.
…but the reality is, frankly speaking and it'll sound really selfish, BUT, your boss' life is not your life. You should not be living chained under the idea that "my boss went out of his way to get me, so I owe him and need to stay even when I don't want to." You already see what this sort of mentality is doing to your stability, and it's not helping one bit. For whatever help you may provide him, it does him no good if you feel particularly shackled, unhappy, and simply speaking, inhibited from achieving your maximum potential, and stifling and suppressing that feeling in the long run will only be destructive to you and your health.
Trust me. It is not your fault that the environment at these sorts of pharmacies is as toxic as it may be, and it is okay to do what you must. As virtuous sounding as it may seem to place your efforts into this man to reward his efforts, at some point, you need to draw a line and live life for your own self. It is your life, after all, and although things may seem to the contrary at the moment, you do have power to effect change within it.
I know I need to get out… Things just seem to take a massive dump on me when I make these kinds of exits that aren't very polite. After I left that last place I was sick for days, got in a car accident, I still haven't had decent sleep in almost a month. I get sick when I start a new job more often than not. Fate always seems to catch up to me and make me pay.
I mean I want to believe that doing what's best for me is what's right but I feel like I'm being punished when I put other people in a spot by my leaving.
I know in this case that constantly feeling suicidal even with medication and therapy is not ok and I really should get out, I just feel bad.
I really want to quit but I don't have the luxury of just going without money until I find another job. I wish I could've been like a lot of my friends and just go to school and not have to work but >___< Not happening.
Im deeply depressed and One Piece is the only thing keeping me remotely happy.
Preeeetty much the same for me. I'm so busy and tired when I get home, it's all I have the energy to keep up with lately.