I hope things go well for you, Bar Kum.
This seems more serious than I expected. (Me leaving Buddhism may irritate my parents a bit but they would forget it soon.)
Survive.
Confession Session - LOCK THIS THREAD
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I was out shopping with my mom today.
! http://www.kephost.com/images4/2011/6/18/dzsuhxh7isnmszxzahrm.jpg
See this?This is my first dress ever.
I'm weird.
Let me explain all this.
During my "trip" where my task was to find myself, I had to realize that no matter how hard I tried, I remained a girl. We can say that "I preferred trousers over skirts".
However, I was born as a girl, and I can't change that. The most difficult thing I have to learn now is to accept and love myself, which is the hardest thing in life, I think (at least in mine).
First, I have to change a couple of things, which will help me to feel like a woman. So, here's this dress for one.To be honest, I'm a little afraid to be a woman. I don't really know how to be. Well, more things to learn!
Sounds familiar ; u ;
I despise skirts and refuse to wear them, and only wear dresses to things like weddings and my upcoming prom… though in all honesty, I'd rather wear a suit.
though I guess the advantage of a dress is that (depending on the dress) you don't tend to overheat as fast as you would with a suit.Speaking of overheating, I'm getting really pissed off at myself. I was at NemaCon today and I almost had another one of my passyoutty things in a panel D'X had to leave the panel and go to the lil inside art cafe to get a drink D'X curses. I really HATE the fact I can't stand the heat at all... and it makes me sad because that means that I can't do most cosplays now otherwise I'd overheat in them D'X
if anything I wanna do a female!Enel, but I hate showing off my stomach D'X
and, speaking of, I need to find some form of exercise .___. I swear I know I've defo put on a little weight since pretty much everyone dropped P.E in our year, and even if I'd have kept it we've left now, so there's nothing to fall back onto. bloody mothers always saying I have nothing on me, which isn't true at all. I swear.So, to sum that up:
- gender unamusement
- heat crisis be making me maaaaaad
- chubmuffin with a chizel chin... waitwhat.
speaking of chins
(ohdeargoodlordsomeoneshutmeupandmakemehiplikebadassohgodshutmeupbeforeistartsingingmsl)
my mum called me Bruce Forsyth the other day .___. -
This forum seems really boring the past few months.
It lacks any conflict outside of the manga section, which itself is predictable and repetitive most of the time. Its as if we've done everything there is to do and now its just playing on repeat. At first I thought it was my degrading love for this manga, but its not.
Oh I do miss the days when we could run wild and spew carnage on these halls. A time when alliances hadn't been formed and know one knew each other. I'm tempted to come back under an alt and start a war with yall…lol But I know that isn't the answer to my problems.
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This forum seems really boring the past few months.
It lacks any conflict outside of the manga section, which itself is predictable and repetitive most of the time. Its as if we've done everything there is to do and now its just playing on repeat. At first I thought it was my degrading love for this manga, but its not.
Oh I do miss the days when we could run wild and spew carnage on these halls. A time when alliances hadn't been formed and know one knew each other. I'm tempted to come back under an alt and start a war with yall…lol But I know that isn't the answer to my problems.
Oi, Idiot! You want beef? You can get beef, BRING IT ON!!
Will smash ya into lil pieces and spit on ya fuckin grave! -
Dammit Smudge, now I have this overwhelming urge to be antagonistic.
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This forum seems really boring the past few months.
It lacks any conflict outside of the manga section, which itself is predictable and repetitive most of the time. Its as if we've done everything there is to do and now its just playing on repeat. At first I thought it was my degrading love for this manga, but its not.
Oh I do miss the days when we could run wild and spew carnage on these halls. A time when alliances hadn't been formed and know one knew each other. I'm tempted to come back under an alt and start a war with yall…lol But I know that isn't the answer to my problems.
If it helps, there's still a practicality to peace time. Sure it's boring, but progress is usually easier when we aren't at each others throats.
I mean, it's not like the Fics got updated to the Writing section because it was every author for himself, you know? -
After that April fools thing, I stopped caring this forum's petty drama anymore. To tell the truth I lost respect for most of AP's active user-base that day, and felt pretty disgusted with myself for participating in such crap before. Glad I've moved on to other things… like reading, or comics. I'm even more glad that the people I had a gripe with have settled down as well. Even so, there are still some annoying people here that's fun to taunt or mess with everyone once in while.
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- Peace is good… If you want drama then create it yourself. Oh wait, never mind. You know why? BECAUSE YOU ARE A STUPID MOTHERFUCKER! say this with an overly done-Indian accent.Usually people see peace as a good thing. Experienced people that is. And maybe it's because you are all 2006 and stuff. Well, good luck with the drama nonetheless! :)
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Sometimes when I'm alone, I make a nice cup of coffee, lit a cigarette and talk to myself. It's really nice because I'm on the same wave length with me and it just makes sense. So I sit and discuss stuff, and laugh at this and that because in my head I'm the single funniest person alive, like, I'm like one of my favorite persons in my life to hang with. And then I pretend I'm someone ells from my life talking to me and everything just works out. And the world becomes an utopia. Then I think what if my neighbor hears me, so I alter my voice and say things loudly and thus I'm kinda scaring myself. I am scared. I think I'm trying to tell myself something but I'm not entirely sure I'm understanding what I'm saying. I think I might be lonely… :blink: Wooooo...
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Just gonna quickly get a few things off my chest before I change my mind again and delete this. Ramble ramble.
! I always have my iTunes playing music in my room just so I don't feel so alone.
! Like 95% of my friends are gone for the summer and the one friend who hasn't is near impossible to get ahold of. I can feel myself going slowly mad from the isolation. Online social networks/forums are my best friends right now to fight the crushing loneliness.
! I get incredibly jealous that my little sister, who's just gotten over her 3rd "serious" boyfriend, gets to pick and choose between swarms of guys while I have zero luck in the whole relationship department. I'm 19 now and still Johnny Dateless. Even if my friends were around I'd still be the odd man out considering each of them has had a girlfriend or boyfriend at least twice. I use to be able to joke about it with my family but now every time I even start it becomes a 20 minuteconversationrant from my parents about how I should get out more and find some nice girls even though they ignore how socially inept I am and if I could've been able to pick up women I would've already. Besides it's evident no girl I run into irl is into me or wants to give me a chance, so why even bother? I think they're just more than a little resentful I'm not the social butterfly my little sister is. I get the feeling they hate a lot more about me than they let on.
! Sure why not? I'm the black sheep of the family anyways. I'm nothing like the entire rest of my family. I share basically no common interests and I don't even look like any of them either. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if my family told me they found me on their doorstep. I think my extended family has given up with talking to me too, last time I went to a big family dinner I don't think my grandpa said more than 10 words to me, he was talking with my sister's then-boyfriend since he's the all star athelete and stuff. It took all I had not to leave in tears, thankfully I've gotten so used to this sort of thing happening to me I know no one noticed.
! Everytime my family asks me how my day was I just say some variation of "good" or "fine" just because if I said what I was really feeling it'd lead to some long boring rant from my parents that I just don't wanna deal with. I'd rather wallow in my own thoughts than hear that shit again.
! I'm just kind of a hard person to get talking irl unless I'm with close friends. I literally can't think of much to say when I meet someone new. You know that situation where you know you should say something but can't think of anything while your brain screams "SAY SOMETHING"? That's life for me 9 times outta 10. I've found even on the internet, where comparitively I'm far more outgoing, I still find it hard to engage in one-on-one conversations with people for even short periods of time because I never know what to say. I kind of rely on having people talk to me really. It also doesn't help that I sometimes forget I haven't talked to certain friends in a long time either. If I added you on facebook or something but haven't talked to you, it's not your fault, I just suck.
! I hate feeling useless all the time. I always want to help others but I always find I can't do anything. Every time I try to help out my dad or someone with something I always just end up getting in the way or being detrimental to the cause. I'm 19 and basically I have no skill in anything.
! bleh that's all I got for now. there's only so much of my heart I'm willing to open up to strangers on the internet who could probably care less. -
You're still young Smudger, nothing lasts forever, not peace, not war. All is in cycle.
We will see blood again. -
We can relate there Jay, though I'm currently taking efforts to change. I remember this one time I was on the bus. It was completely deserted. Then came this girl.. she sat right next me when there was literally dozens of places to sit. I panicked and then proceeded to ask her a question after thinking to myself awkwardly for 15 minutes. I forgot what I asked her, but I remember me saying "forget it" and walking the bus immediately. It wasn't my even my stop too. It's not like I have problems communicating. I'm just no conversation starter. Every topic that runs through my head during moments I insist on them bringing up seem to be an impending disaster anyway. Which is funny… The best topics usually sparks when it's already too late.
Unless you are going to die tomorrow, it's not really wise to give up just yet :) You'll feel bitter of course, but don't let that drag you down.
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Like 95% of my friends are gone for the summer and the one friend who hasn't is near impossible to get ahold of. I can feel myself going slowly mad from the isolation. Online social networks/forums are my best friends right now to fight the crushing loneliness.
I just ended up in a superficially similar situation. All my greatest of friends were at college, not at home in CT, having graduated I've had to leave them all behind.
Plus my best friend from CT has a career in DC now so I only see him once in a blue moon for a few hours.
I had a choice between hanging out with people whose company I hated and dreaded to have someone just to hang out with at all now that I'm home, or virtually no one at all.
And I went with the latter.
Because it's only a temporary thing. There are places you meet people, be it school or work, the two inevitables of life.I get incredibly jealous that my little sister, who's just gotten over her 3rd "serious" boyfriend, gets to pick and choose between swarms of guys while I have zero luck in the whole relationship department.
It's generally not really about luck, in fact especially for us guys is it not about luck.
You're sister has them coming to her?
Well it's our lot in life as dick-havers to be the one to go looking.
Sure girls can and maybe will come up to you first, but let's just say relying on that as a way to meet people is a really bad idea.I'm 19 now and still Johnny Dateless.
Ha! You're young as hell.
The real world is made up of the likes of people who've been in relationships since they were 12, and might never be happy with anything they find.
And people who've only been around the block a few times and land a good marriage.
That's the reality.Even if my friends were around I'd still be the odd man out considering each of them has had a girlfriend or boyfriend at least twice. I use to be able to joke about it with my family but now every time I even start it becomes a 20 minute conversation rant from my parents about how I should get out more and find some nice girls even though they ignore how socially inept I am and if I could've been able to pick up women I would've already.
Well tough as they may sound, that's basically the way you get over being inept. By doing it.
Social ineptness is usually in my experienced based around fear, whatever that fear may be. It could be a concrete thing you could trace to some sort of bad experience, or it could be some vague constant sense of anxiety.
Whatever the case, those fears are bullshit.Can you piss?
Can you shit?
Can you breathe in oxygen?Then you can have a romantic life.
It's not some crazy skill set that requires constant training and a college degree.
It's instinct inherent in all human beings! Yes! It's that simple!
You may think your friends are these people who are different animals from you in their heads, with stuff you can't understand, but that's crap.
What you need to recognize is that there's nothing wrong with your ability to do those sorts of things, what's probably wrong is that you've built up mental blockage standing in the way of that. You're sabotaging yourself somehow.Besides it's evident no girl I run into irl is into me or wants to give me a chance, so why even bother?
That's complete crap.
Look at this with basic rationality. It's ridiculous.
You're talking about yourself like you're Hitler or something.I think they're just more than a little resentful I'm not the social butterfly my little sister is. I get the feeling they hate a lot more about me than they let on.
While it does seem like your parents aren't helping, by just adding stress to something you're clearly already quite worried about…. their motive is not hate. As parents they're worried about you not involving yourself in part of life. And while that may bother you.....well...your lack of this part of life is painful isn't it? You're worried about you. Right? Same thing.
Maybe you should talk to your parents about your paranoias, maybe at least let them understand you are concerned about the issue, so that maybe they won't feel the need to pester you about it.
I'm just kind of a hard person to get talking irl unless I'm with close friends. I literally can't think of much to say when I meet someone new.
Oh you're thinking alright, and that's the problem isn't it?
Tell me, when you end up with someone new isn't your mind in flames with thoughts and concerns and worries? What do I say. What are they thinking. What if I seem strange. What if they don't like me. And on and on and on and on and on.
Does this sound accurate?
If it does that's exactly what's keeping you from being able to talk!
How could ANYONE function with a head full of that shit?
None of your hotshot friends and sister that's for sure. Fill their heads with the same white noise and they'd collapse like puppets without strings.You know that situation where you know you should say something but can't think of anything while your brain screams "SAY SOMETHING"?
BINGO
Conversation isn't a thing of thought, it's a thing that flows.
An anxious mind isn't a flowing river, instead it's like trying to get a package through a North Korean airport security check.I've found even on the internet, where comparitively I'm far more outgoing, I still find it hard to engage in one-on-one conversations with people for even short periods of time because I never know what to say.
You said before that you were fine with close friends.
Well….what's the difference? Between those times and all the other times?
What's the actual difference here? Anything big? Anything at all?I kind of rely on having people talk to me really. It also doesn't help that I sometimes forget I haven't talked to certain friends in a long time either. If I added you on facebook or something but haven't talked to you, it's not your fault, I just suck.
Who cares about Facebook.
I hate feeling useless all the time. I always want to help others but I always find I can't do anything. Every time I try to help out my dad or someone with something I always just end up getting in the way or being detrimental to the cause. I'm 19 and basically I have no skill in anything.
Most 19 year olds are aimless creatures crashing through a confusing time of self discovery. I found that all the "college is da best tyears!!!" talk was crap. College is like puberty part two. Except with more mental change than physical. You start out a little high school squirt and have to face off with the big gaping horizon of life for the first time, of course it's really hard.
bleh that's all I got for now. there's only so much of my heart I'm willing to open up to strangers on the internet who could probably care less.
And the final lesson I'm dropping in this post is a very important one, the problems you just described? Do you actually think you're alone on those? You couldn't be more wrong if you tried. You're not alone at all.
And as per my Holy Hell ascribed quota, relevant 80's song.
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Hey Jay.
Yeah, most everyone said what needed to be said, but I'll give my two cents as well:
I've said this a lot before, but whenever interaction is hard, sometimes you have to tough through it and get practice. I just recently started rediscovering how to talk to others, and one big way to do this is to meet up with groups. Ideally yes you want to eventually have one-on-one conversations, but I found that talking with a group of people with common interests can help you learn to socialize without too much of the anxiety one usually feels. For the most part, it almost seems like everyone else can do the talking, except I'm willing to bet that's the POV of a lot of people. Add on top of that the fact that the subject is usually engaging, and you'll find it hard not to talk. In short, sometimes you do have to dive into the unknown, like as said before.
I wish I could do something about the whole stupid 'men have to do all the work' crap, though, but I guess I'm just bitter about being on the short end of a lot of things, with that being one more.
Eh, but I've already talked too much about that kind of stuff. I hope the advice helps. Starting big or starting small, you'll find things so much easier when you finally do start. Socializing really is second nature to us once we start doing it, even with an Aspie like me. -
rpgjay, i guess i will give my opinion too.
I myself have been through this path before, so i know exactly how you feel.
This may help you as it has helped me. I suggest you join some classes (guitar or whatever). Or clubs, or even a job this summer.
Basically anywhere where you will be surrounded by people and try your hardest to socialize. Don't give yourself a hard time over this. Bit by bit you will get there. The best cure is to socialize yourself. Talk with them about anything…..... -
This forum seems really boring the past few months.
It lacks any conflict outside of the manga section, which itself is predictable and repetitive most of the time. Its as if we've done everything there is to do and now its just playing on repeat. At first I thought it was my degrading love for this manga, but its not.
It's not just you, I feel that way sometimes too. You've been here for five years. And a handful of of the more prominent members have too. Of course you know some names and people fairly well and some conversations have relooped with the same opinions. That's how it goes with any group thats known each other for a while. I can't even begin to count how many times my office has had the exact same Star Wars conversation over the last 10 years. Its how it goes.
New folks with new ideas and opinions and experiences filter in all the time, but its a slow gradual process before most of them hit any level of comfort or familiarity that you have with the people you've known longer, so they stay quieter, or they say things that are new to them, but that we've heard a hundred times before. But because you're around all the time, you get the new people gradually instead of as one big massive shift of tone or ideas. Only real way to pull that off would be to leave and then come back after six months or something. Things might have switched up a bit by then, but the people you've already known for 3-5 years, are still going to be largely the same.
Personally, as a mod, I much prefer less troublemaking. There will be idiots, trolls, and flamers again. There always are. I'll enjoy the peace and civilized conversation while it lasts.
If you really feel the need for a change of pace, a new site with all new people and a different main topic is probably the change of pace you need. Can only discuss One Piece with the same 30 main voices and 200 strangers so far and so often.
Just gonna quickly get a few things off my chest before I change my mind again and delete this. Ramble ramble.
Don't be in a rush to date just for the sake of dating. Quality over quantity. Some people date dozens and dozens of near strangers, get an evening or three out of it, and nothing more comes of it, and they spend years flittering from new person to new person, and half date 4 different people at the same time, none of them seriously, until they find someone that really clicks, or never at all. And that works for them.
And some people build up a slow long term friendship with a person first and only then awkwardly try to move from friendship into something more (I am one of these.) That's a bit harder because you stand to lose or mess up a lot more if you're already friends, but it can also be a much longer term experience when it works.
Neither way is right, neither is guaranteed results or happiness, and there's 7 billion variations inbetween. Some people get married at 17 and stay together the rest of their lives. Some hook up at 26, live together for years and know they'll be together for their lives but stay just "engaged". Some people get married 3 or 4 times, and even have kids along the way, and yet it never works out. Some people emphasize their careers for most of their youth and don't settle down or find someone until they're 40. Some people realize they're gay or transgendered and have an entirely different set of hurdles to overcome. And some never find love or try to at all. (I have friends in all the above categories.)
I dated/was engaged to a girl for 7 years, for a lot of my teenagehood and early adulthood, and as a result, never developed some of the social skills that a lot of people develop in their teens, and was instead a quiet softspoken shy bookworm for a long time. (You wouldn't know it from how outgoing I am on here, right?) But eventually I learned how to start conversations with strangers and interact with people. I'll never be as immediately outgoing and personable as some folks, but I can talk to people, or flirt with girls, or whatnot.
I've only had a couple really big infatuations in my time, and they've sometimes been only one sided, but its still interaction and a relationship and sometimes, after romantic feelings fade you can still be friends, and sometimes you can't. Even now for instance, I still have a lot of trouble trying to express things to a girl I'm currently interested in, because she's shy and even though also in her late 20's, and we're fairly good friends, she's in a similiar boat and has little experience in flirting and its hard to tell whats mutual and what isn't, and its all sorts of awkward… but its part of being human.
One of my best friends for like 15 years, incredibly attractive girl, smart, funny, artistic... complete bundle of quiet and shy, impossible for her to interact with others. Wasn't until after she'd moved away from home, gone through school, off to an entirely different state away from everyone she ever knew, and lived in an apartment with friends for a couple years that she started opening up and learning how to socialize. She's older than I am, has only dated once, and is still completely uncomfortable with intimate relationships... but is getting the hang of being social and talking to people and still discovering how that all works.
Not everyone has dated 12 people and had sex with 20 people by the time they're out of high school, not everyone goes to a bar to try cheesy pickup lines to snag a one night stand, despite what you might be told. Most haven't, in fact. Don't be intimidated. People want to meet other people, have good times and new experiences. If you can talk to people on the internet, you can talk to them in real life. Sure, its a little easier when you have time to formulate all your responses at length, and don't have to make eye contact, but its only a little harder in person. Once you've gotten past the first few sentences you're past the hard part, then you can start talking. Don't worry about romance in the first half hour, or the first week, that'll just choke you up. Just meet people.
Society as a whole expect people to act a certain way because... they're told that people of a certain age act a certain way. But everyone is different, and in my experience most people are still trying to figure themselves out well into their early 20's, as they hit the real world for the first time. (And I imagine when I'm 40 I'll realize that people are still trying to discover themselves into their 30's.)
And guys and girls never figure one another out, there's ALWAYS a mystery. That's a large part of the appeal.
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I feel like I should say something to you, Jay. But honestly, I don't know what to say what would cheer you up besides the same old crap everybody says. (Don't get me wrong, what you all say isn't wrong, but it's just stuff you hear a millionth time in your life.. or is it just me?)
Well, whatever.Jay, I'm alone, too. Physical alone I mean. I have no one around me. Not even family. I'm 800km away from them.
I haven't made any friends here yet. Just some random people I know from work and stuff.
And.. I don't know. For me it's not that bad actually. Or not anymore. I don't want to whine now or something but I think I just got kind of used to it. I was often alone since I was a little girl. And I know that my loneliness is only a bounded thing now. It will change soon. So I just look forward and be excited about what is going to happen with my life instead of crawling on the ground and feel miserable.
And loneliness gives you the chance of thinking. And it gives you ideas. Time. Time is always an important thing cause we never feel like we have enough of it. I feel like I have endless time at the moment and this is a great feeling.And you're 19. Young padawan you are~ It's really not unnormal for you to feel like you feel now. Important is that you overcome this sooner or later.
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RPGJay you are awesome on AP, like someone I would want to impress (not working out that well at the moment, but I try). I'm sorry about your grandfather. Sometimes the old ones doesn't realize how hurtful they can be. And while it isn't my place to say it, I don't think your parents know how much it hurts you.
Most of my friends are out of town (and some out country), and I get you. I'm getting kinda weird from the isolation but… Meh.
And I can relate. I mean, argh, I'm socially awkward on the internet! How does that even work?
But yeah I can relate, and so can many people. And it doesn't fall under a specific stereotype because all kind of people feel that way. I remember when I started high-school and was all like, dammit "what do I do/say?" All my classmates were really freakishly beautiful, rich (yes that too) and social butterflies. However while they seemed kinda intimidating I quickly found out how wonderful they all are and the more I got to know the them, the more obvious it got that many of them felt unsettled too. Sometimes alone and kinda confused in conversation if they don't know people. I mean, it's just so you know that the person in front of you might feel the same.
My two cents are that you gotta push yourself out there. Some can be hard to talk to, some aren't. And sometimes if you don't know what to say you just gotta smile. Chances are the other person is just as “Dammit me! AGSkfegp say something!!” as you might be, and that way one just becomes more approachable. And if you run out of things to say just jump topics or if you see something about the other person you like they say it. In a way that leads to more than a yes/no answer. At first people love talking about themselves, that way it becomes a safe topic. :P If you want, you could observe what other people do/say or what you do with your friends. If all fails just choke down some beer, that's a guaranteed method to get the mouth working, and to turn the brain off.
And about feeling useless... Well, I don't know if that ^ helps at all with anything... So here is a video.!
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Jay, you are an intelligent, handsome, wonderfully likable young man. You have no legitimate reason to be shy or hesitant when it comes to approaching girls–if anything, they are more likely to be shy of you due to your good looks. I think everyone's already said everything that needs to be said, but I want to reiterate that some people simply aren't as comfortable initiating conversations as others are, and that for some of us, we have to work harder at it. There's nothing unusual about this, and can be overcome if you keep practicing.
One way you can get used to engaging in conversations, is to practice asking people some casual things about themselves. Doesn't have to be a potential love interest, it can be anyone, but most people enjoy talking about themselves in some fashion. Find out about the things they like, where they are from, how do they feel about <insert topic="">. And see if you can find common ground to continue the chat (and if not, ask them something else). If it's a girl you like, tell her that you enjoyed the conversation and ask if she'd like to hang out sometime. If she says yes, cool--make plans. If not, then at least you've made progress toward becoming a better conversationalist.
Also, give some serious thought as to what interests you, so that you can have some topics to discuss with your company. Don't be afraid to tell your audience about some of the things that you enjoy, you may have more in common than you think. You might also see if maybe you can fit more active recreational activities into your life, to expand your social network.
Don't sweat it too much. Confidence in interacting with others will come in time as long as you keep at it.</insert>
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Oi, Idiot! You want beef? You can get beef, BRING IT ON!!
Will smash ya into lil pieces and spit on ya fuckin grave!I knew I'd hear this from you one day, but I thought you'd be looming over me when I heard it.@Kitsune:
Dammit Smudge, now I have this overwhelming urge to be antagonistic.
Die furfag.@Cuddles:
If it helps, there's still a practicality to peace time. Sure it's boring, but progress is usually easier when we aren't at each others throats.
I mean, it's not like the Fics got updated to the Writing section because it was every author for himself, you know?What is this fic and writing section you speak of? Isn't that where we banished agog?@Hiroy:
After that April fools thing, I stopped caring this forum's petty drama anymore. To tell the truth I lost respect for most of AP's active user-base that day, and felt pretty disgusted with myself for participating in such crap before. Glad I've moved on to other things… like reading, or comics. I'm even more glad that the people I had a gripe with have settled down as well. Even so, there are still some annoying people here that's fun to taunt or mess with everyone once in while.
But miniluffy left this place a while back.
side note: £100 for a picture of me dissecting MDL with a chainsaw.@kagexp:
- Peace is good… If you want drama then create it yourself. Oh wait, never mind. You know why? BECAUSE YOU ARE A STUPID MOTHERFUCKER! say this with an overly done-Indian accent.Usually people see peace as a good thing. Experienced people that is. And maybe it's because you are all 2006 and stuff. Well, good luck with the drama nonetheless! :)
You are now Philip the high councillor in my eyes.
!
You're still young Smudger, nothing lasts forever, not peace, not war. All is in cycle.
I guess so, but this really is the calm before the storm. Bring on the thunder…
We will see blood again.
Are you threatening me! lol@RobbyBevard:
! It's not just you, I feel that way sometimes too. You've been here for five years. And a handful of of the more prominent members have too. Of course you know some names and people fairly well and some conversations have relooped with the same opinions. That's how it goes with any group thats known each other for a while. I can't even begin to count how many times my office has had the exact same Star Wars conversation over the last 10 years. Its how it goes.
! New folks with new ideas and opinions and experiences filter in all the time, but its a slow gradual process before most of them hit any level of comfort or familiarity that you have with the people you've known longer, so they stay quieter, or they say things that are new to them, but that we've heard a hundred times before. But because you're around all the time, you get the new people gradually instead of as one big massive shift of tone or ideas. Only real way to pull that off would be to leave and then come back after six months or something. Things might have switched up a bit by then, but the people you've already known for 3-5 years, are still going to be largely the same.
! Personally, as a mod, I much prefer less troublemaking. There will be idiots, trolls, and flamers again. There always are. I'll enjoy the peace and civilized conversation while it lasts.
! If you really feel the need for a change of pace, a new site with all new people and a different main topic is probably the change of pace you need. Can only discuss One Piece with the same 30 main voices and 200 strangers so far and so often.This is pretty much it. The only thing is I can't find any other forums that interest me, or are run properly enough to avoid me pulling my hair out.
I've looked about but not hard enough it would seem.
And some people build up a slow long term friendship with a person first and only then awkwardly try to move from friendship into something more (I am one of these.) That's a bit harder because you stand to lose or mess up a lot more if you're already friends, but it can also be a much longer term experience when it works.
Sabsy!
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What is this fic and writing section you speak of? Isn't that where we banished agog?
I'll fucking stab you.
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This post is deleted!
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You are now Philip the high councillor in my eyes.
!
Your mom is Philip the high councilor… Seriously. Why would you do something like that?! That is just mean! Do you get a kick out of being an asshole? Wtf do you gain from it? You are so hurtful and all you think about is your own petty game! You are dealing with real people here. Pathetic.
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I knew I'd hear this from you one day, but I thought you'd be looming over me when I heard it.
That's how wrong you can be
side note: £100 for a picture of me dissecting MDL with a chainsaw.
yes.
Sabsy!
you called, love?
Well, I was always interested in you but I just didn't know that I was actually interested in you this way :P -
side note: £100 for a picture of me dissecting MDL with a chainsaw.
:O
sold! i'll take 2000.
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@Uncle:
I'll fucking stab you.
I have an ending for that biography you were writing.
! before turning the gun on himself…@Kitsune:
Smudge, you're such a dick. Why are you hating?
A new fur coat is what I dearly need.
@kagexp:Your mom is Philip the high councilor… Seriously.
What advice would you give on the current SITUATION!
Why would you do something like that?! That is just mean! Do you get a kick out of being an asshole? Wtf do you gain from it? You are so hurtful and all you think about is your own petty game! You are dealing with real people here. Pathetic.
I'm a a sadistic smear on this forum, now die somewhere cold.
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I have an ending for that biography were writing.
! before turning the gun on himself…
I don't get it. He was stabbing you with a gun?
A new fur coat is what I dearly need.
Go fuck yourself. You smudgey little stain… you... yeah... you...
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What advice would you give on the current SITUATION! I'm a a sadistic smear on this forum, now die somewhere cold.
What? you don't want any advise. I get it.
Alright fine. Be like that.Okay okay I wanted to stir up drama but fuck that. Meh. But a little longer and pregnancy, awesome lines like, 'If you didn't do it, and I sure as Hell didn't do it, and I fired the yard guy last week, and that fucking ape I call my neighbor killed my dog, and my twin sister kinda looks like me and has six fingers on one hand, and nothing really happened, and nobody cares, and I'm making real good money on this show doing the worst acting ever…then who did it'?" "" and someone coming in to the thread with a gun, bus crashes and someone waking up in Vegas would very likely have occurred. Drama.
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But miniluffy left this place a while back.
side note: £100 for a picture of me dissecting MDL with a chainsaw.
RomanGod/Smore too ._.
Well, I have access to a tablet now AND I do have very cynical idea that's been in head since you bought it up. I'll get back to you after I confirm that the idea is possible. If not, you'd have to pay me MUCH less than that.
@MDL:
:O
sold! i'll take 2000.
I see I have no other choice.
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What is this fic and writing section you speak of? Isn't that where we banished agog?
No, but it is the place where I shanked Ventus. His final words were 'You guys wouldn't know good writing if you saw it.'*
@Jay: Add Vee's advice to heart. It worked for me when I asked her similar questions about getting to know others. -
smudger is trying to be roudy. calling people doo-doo heads and giving wet willies.
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Don't mind me guys, keep stabbing each other and stuff.
I have a small confession:
! Yesterday was father's day and the day before, near midnight, I realized this cuz of Google. So I started working on a card and then figured I'd finish it ON father's day. I've been doing that a lot in recent years. I used to eagerly make cards and write love-filled messages well in advance, but now I generally forget those special days. So… then I got distracted for the entire day and never finished the card and don't feel like bothering anymore. How lame is it to give someone a card late?
! I also hate writing messages because I can't think of anything original to say and don't really feel sincere when I write 'em and have resorted to being sarcastic. Usually I draw a One Piece-themed card and they always love the drawings even if they don't quite get it. Dad has always been impressed with my drawings because I can do things that he can't. I have my weaknesses and he wants me to work at them so they don't stay weaknesses, but he's always loved my artistic, creative side. I love drawing, just not writing the message. -
Are you telling me to draw something?
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pretty much everything that you draw is awesome, so that would definitely be encouraged.
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@THE:
Are you telling me to draw something?
Breaking dancing Eneru, Sea. I still yearn for it even now. cue flashback
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Thank you for everyone that helped lift me up. Sorry I blew up the other day. My bad, it's been eating away at me for awhile. I really shouldn't have posted it to begin with. But I've read every word said to me and I will take it to heart.
Also I'd never thought in a million years I'd get teary eyed at a line like this:
Can you piss?
Can you shit?
Can you breathe in oxygen?Then you can have a romantic life.
Thank you everyone.
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i'm glad that you're feeling better, and we all need to vent at some point.
good luck to your future endeavours :) -
I still have irregular sleep patterns and am always tired. Makes me feel like I'll never amount to anything because I can't even focus on one thing for very long these days. I haven't even finished reading that Redwall book yet. I'm kinda worried about my deteriorating reading ability. I just can't concentrate and immerse myself in the plot like I used to. The old me would have finished reading it in a couple of all-nighters. Whether it's a novel or even just really lengthy posts on the internet, I seem to struggle more.
In other news, I lost about five pounds over the last few days. Bro is forcing me to exercise again and all that. I guess that makes me feel happier, but I feel way more self-conscious about the way I look and not exactly in a good way. Being around other people suddenly feels even more awkward than before, especially since the last grad party I went to. Or maybe it's more accurate to say because of the last grad party. :P
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I can relate to the odd sleeping patterns. And what makes me mad is that, for the most part, my days are flipped. I'm asleep all day and awake all night. And last night was my night off, meaning that I eat THEN since I slept all day. (A single day off on night shift makes no sense.) And my Dad decided to call me porky. I'm still upset and extremely hurt. Even if I have lost weight lately.
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Ummm I dont think you should be upset if your dad called you that Gypsy. Fathers loooove giving endearing nicknames to their daughters. My friend is skinny as hell, yet her dad still calls her piggy. My other friend is also thin yet her dad calls her fatty. My dad gave me nicknames like that even when I was thin. It's a dad thing I suppose =P Nothing to take seriously
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that reminds me of my old geography teacher.
he used to call one of my friends "the incredible bulk". XD -
I think the fact I'm extremely sensitive and obsessed about my weight is why it got me.
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Then why don't you talk about it with your dad? Ask him jokingly why he called you that.
Also you shouldn't be obsessed with your weight but with your health (and not obsessed really, just more concerned). Be careful with the way you treat your body or it'll one day come and bite you in the butt. And I personally think you look perfectly fine and beautiful but since I know that this has already been discussed here yet you still don't believe it much, I'll shush for the time being and ninja attack you in the future for it.
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I really am getting better with how I see myself. Ever since I got over my insecurity to wear what I want. I have no idea how that helped, but it did. But thanks for the advice, Chrissie! :D
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I think you should murder your dad and establish dominance in your family
I have a long history with this field that shows myself as an expert of alpha situations.
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Ohooo! I am glad to hear that!! 8D And clothes are fun. Wearing whatever you want is pretty much the main purpose of clothes. Well… apart from the whole 'Not running around naked' thing of course!
--- Update From New Post Merge ---
@Holy:
I think you should murder your dad and establish dominance in your family
I have a long history with this field that shows myself as an expert of alpha situations.
Please go back to your hole mister ass.
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A dad thing?? What's so endearing about making fun of someone's weight anyway? Maybe it's just cuz I am also freaking insecure, but I get angry and upset whenever my dad says those kinds of things to me. And my bro too. I just don't think they're the kind of people who would take me seriously if I tried to talk to them.
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I think the fact I'm extremely sensitive and obsessed about my weight is why it got me.
Dude, you look good regardless of how much you weigh.
…...
Yeah, anyone know a feminine version of "dude" ? -
I say dude all the time. And bro. I don't need a girl equivalent.
Holy, teach me your ways of being boss as fuck. Chrissie, I like being naked! You should too!