! This morning I had my first person die on me. Poor man was being eaten up by stomach cancer and suffered a nasty fall hours before my shift started. He was too frail to stand really, and the day shift just let him do what he wants. Apparently, it gave his brain a nasty rattle and sent him into this climbing fever. Also, his face was just an entire bruise. It was horribly colored and he was drooling out some brown stuff. His temperature hit 104.6 before he died. My other CNA needed to go do something or the other and asked me to sit with him for just a moment. I happened to have his final moment. Literally, I said: "Hello, Mr. M! It's me, Emily. I'm going to sit with you until Kim comes back. Okay, honey?" And he nods so weakly before taking his last breath. I was mortified. Sure, I was at the hospital when my Grandfather died when I was four, but I didn't see it.
! It threw me for a loop. My LPN walked in after I called her and ordered me to sit down to take a break. She wouldn't hear otherwise. I wasn't sad or anything. Well, I was and wasn't. It was sad but I didn't really know how to react. Before I knew it, I was walking to let his daughter and the funeral home in. I'd never seen them take a body out before, and I tried to avoid it for the night. But once I saw that form under the blue velvet, I was completely taken back.
! THEN, the man down MY hall with the kidney problem starts bleeding. And he bleeds EVERYWHERE. He's self assist. We hardly see him and that's only to change his sheets or empty something. The blood-work woman happen to walk in to blood fucking EVERYWHERE. She sends me in to stay with him while she gets my LPN. It smelled like iron and sick. The LPN runs in, radioing for the guard station to call in the ambulance. And for some reason, I was just as composed as I could be. Even if the blood-work woman and my LPN were freaking out, I was stone faced. And felt bad for being so.
wow, poor guy. RIP :(