Confession Session - LOCK THIS THREAD

MDL

This post is deleted!

THE SEA

The Sea, if you consider that it is the same, why would you want to kill him all by yourself? Why would you want to dirty your hand with his blood? Wouldn't it be better to let him be judged, and let him live a bit more?

I never say I want to kill him myself.
The point of death penalty is to warn the people. Of course if I kill him and hang his corpse in the city square, I can warn more people since people would make more a fuss about it. But thinking for long term, it is no good. Law has its role.
In other situation, dirtying your hand so that other people don't have to dirty their hands? Again, I ask, is that a selfless thing to do, since you know he will be killed anyway?

–- Update From New Post Merge ---

@Chrissie:

No. It doesn't. This person knows the consequences of his actions. Death. He basically choses to die by acting the way he does. The policeman's job isn't to protect criminals. The policeman's job is to turn them in to face the consequences of their actions. What they might be, is not his concern. That is the business of the judge. If the judge decides on death, then he is the one who is his killer along with the person himself who did those actions that lead him to his death. A policeman is but a tool of the law and should do what his job commands him/her.

Now I am off. Airport time~! Ta!

But I wasn't talking about policemen in my question.

–- Update From New Post Merge ---

Well, anyway, imagine I am an invincible policeman in town and the only one who can capture a certain dangerous criminal. Without me, he wouldn't have been dead. Does that make me his killer? After he gets executed, it is not the executioner or the judge or the law of the country that the criminals's family will blame and seek revenge upon; it is me. Not saying their actions are right, but to them I am his killer anyway. That is, well, common sense. Not saying common sense is right, that is just the way we view things. And whether I am his killer is a matter of perspective entirely.

So is my action bad and should I feel a sled of regret? Would it be the same for killing him directly painlessly instead of letting him sit on the electric chair, even though what I do is just handling the symptom of the disease? Perhaps he had tragic past that I don't know, perhaps he was just having some soft of complex and was fighting against his biological urge to kill? Yet I unawarely ended his life and his hope before he succeeded in doing so? Would he curse me in hell? Should I feel bad and pray to god for forgiveness if I am a Christian?
I would say, strictly according to Christianity, I should feel regret for only being able to deal with the symptom. However, as someone who aims to cure the root of the sickness of society through writing (manga, to be exact), I would just portray something like that realistically and let the readers find their own answer anyway.

Well, messed up a bit. Fixed.

--- Update From New Post Merge ---

P/s: And realistically, as a humane Christian policeman, and I was standing there witnessing the criminal meet his maker in the electric chair as my fellow justice officer and human being coldly pressed the button of murder, watching another fellow human being die slowly in scream of pain as the smell of his smoked flesh struck my nostrils, I would feel bad, terribly bad, feeling like it was me who killed him, feeling like I could have done more than just curing the symptom, than just being a tool of the law, and will probably be haunted by the flashing of the electricity, and will seek sympathy from God. That is what the character would feel, whether you are right about the policeman not being the killer, Chrissie. It is ironic considering the purpose I set up this situation, thinking your answer would be "Yes, I would feel bad".
And the more I think about it, the more I feel it. What is the point of our decision not to kill another human being if it doesn't stem from that kind of feeling? Just a fear for hell, perhaps. Whether or not we know about the existence of hell, whether or not we were even informed about the existence of the theories about hell's existence, whether or not we were taught to beg for God's forgiveness, it doesn't matter; what matters in being a human is the feeling we have after killing a human; or knowing a human's death, acknowledging that from a certain perspective we are the killer, directly or indirectly; or just watching a human die. Is that feeling joy, indifference, or sorrow, and if sorrow, for whom? Our own fate or the dead?

--- Update From New Post Merge ---

Taking a further step into consideration, if the sorrow we feel for others is what matters, then what saddens you more? Seeing a person die slowly, screaming in insufferable pain, begging for a quick, painless death; or you yourself become a murderer? The prolong of another human being's torment, or you losing a chance of being perfect human without the stain of murder? What is the reason not to mercy-kill, if not a concern for your own sake? What do we feel more justified about? Of course we would feel sorry about committing such act (and will beg for God's forgiveness, if theist), but does that mean we shouldn't repeat it? Can such a feeling called regret, if we feel bad, but at the same time think it's right to continue to do it?

Chrissie

I think you are over thinking things Sea.

Well, anyway, imagine I am an invincible policeman in town and the only one who can capture a certain dangerous criminal. Without me, he wouldn't have been dead. Does that make me his killer? After he gets executed, it is not the executioner or the judge or the law of the country that the criminals's family will blame and seek revenge upon; it is me. Not saying their actions are right, but to them I am his killer anyway. That is, well, common sense. Not saying common sense is right, that is just the way we view things. And whether I am his killer is a matter of perspective entirely.

No. You are not. That is common sense. I never heard of people screaming at a policeman for arresting their relative who is a criminal. I've heard and seen plenty of times people screaming outside the court, yelling at the judge and jury who decided on that person's fate. Never at the person who arrested him. I never actually heard of anyone who was shot right away (as long as they didn't open fire first) anyway. According to law they always have to go through court. That is why you won't see people accusing of the person, policeman, doing his/her job.

Pray for forgiveness? WHY would you? :wassat: It's your job. Your fucking duty for fuck's sake. If you don't want to do it, then it's time you retire. And again. Not your fault as a policeman for that person's death. They chose their path. They knew where it would lead them. They are adults. No fucking underage kids who can't decide for themselves.

And that is why I am against the death penalty. Are you?
And if you would feel bad about it and think you could do more than 'arrest that person and send them to their death' as you say then you wouldn't and shouldn't be a policeman. You should be a psychiatrist, a judge, a lawyer or a politician fighting against those types of punishment or trying to heal or save that person from their selves because I repeat: It's their choices that led them to that chair. Not the choices of the policeman who is basically doing the right thing by detaining and arresting the criminal.

Sea, I am sorry but we are just not going to agree on this. I am not going to 'mercy kill' anyone because I think it's just plain wrong. Yes, more wrong than watching them suffer because even then they might have a slight chance to survive and I'd rather not live the rest of my life with that doubt stuck with me and I am not going to consider a policeman who arrests a person whose crimes condemn him to death, his indirect killer. No matter what you say. I'd rather hold the first and stick with them till the end than cut their string of life just because I consider it merciful and I insist that the only one at fault for the criminal's death, is the criminal himself/herself. There are a billion people out there who have been through terrible shit. It's unfair to those people to justify the criminal's actions to his awful past or something. If he is a sane person, he just shouldn't resort to crime. If he is not, then he should be receiving psychological treatment. Not be running around amok.

MDL

i have absolutely nothing of value to add to this stunningly deep conversation, other than the fact that i agree with what chrissie is saying.
if i lived in a country that has the death penalty, and my little brother went on a murder spree, i would never hold it against the policeman if he arrested him and he was put to death.

THE SEA

Pray for forgiveness? WHY would you?

Not praying for forgiveness. But sympathy. It is sad to see anyone die, especially when you are involved, is it not.

No. You are not. That is common sense. I never heard of people screaming at a policeman for arresting their relative who is a criminal. I've heard and seen plenty of times people screaming outside the court, yelling at the judge and jury who decided on that person's fate. Never at the person who arrested him. I never actually heard of anyone who was shot right away (as long as they didn't open fire first) anyway. According to law they always have to go through court. That is why you won't see people accusing of the person, policeman, doing his/her job.

You have never heard of revenge on police then. I was not talking about the good kind of family. I was talking about the criminal fraternity kind.
Like I said with his crime it is a matter of course that he will receive death sentence once he is captured. The element that decides his fate is whether he will be capture. As the only person capable of capturing him, I would be the one dealing with his avengers. Especially when both were famous.
The judge is also just doing his normal job, strictly according to the law..
And especially the executioner. His was just doing his normal job.
What made the policemen different from the executioner is: he was doing too excellent a job.
That is why in a certain perspective I am his killer.
I am not saying that perspective is correct. But the policeman, aware of such perspective, and was there to witness, that is what he would feel. Again, I am just portraying it realistically. Perhaps in such situation a man might even think: "He would be luckier had I shot him dead on the battle." Well, for inexperienced policemen anyway. It's not rare when situations like that put a person, especially Christians, into questioning their system.

And if you would feel bad about it and think you could do more than 'arrest that person and send them to their death' as you say then you wouldn't and shouldn't be a policeman. You should be a psychiatrist, a judge, a lawyer or a politician fighting against those types of punishment or trying to heal or save that person from their selves because I repeat: It's their choices that led them to that chair. Not the choices of the policeman who is basically doing the right thing by detaining and arresting the criminal.

Based on experience, many policemen feel that way after stepping into the career. You can only feel it after you experience what you have to deal with.
It is hard to be a Christian and a policeman at the same time. Since sometime it is hard to avoid killing–-directly. The same for being a soldiers when your job is basically--killings.

And that is why I am against the death penalty. Are you?

Not exactly. Life sentence is more cruel. No future. Rape. Torture. Hierarchy. Mafia bosses living like Kings in prison. Then escape and do more harm. No cure.

Sea, I am sorry but we are just not going to agree on this. I am not going to 'mercy kill' anyone because I think it's just plain wrong. Yes, more wrong than watching them suffer because even then they might have a slight chance to survive and I'd rather not live the rest of my life with that doubt stuck with me

Depend on the situation. You believe in miracle. I don't.
From what I have seen, no miracle. God was not there to help us. We were alone. In Vietnam we were raised with war stories. Not propaganda, but from our parents, our elders. And God was not there, despite the desperate prayers.
For many Vietnamese participating in the war, they didn't choose killing. Killing chose them.
If I lived in Libya, I think I would be one of those who picked up their guns. Would you, though?

No matter what you say. I'd rather hold the first and stick with them till the end than cut their string of life just because I consider it merciful

Even if not killing him mean more deaths? There would be situations like that. Even not in such situations, the prolong of a person's torment can also haunt us. I mean, sometime we regret our actions, sometime we regret our inactions. In such dramatic situation, that person might even curse his "non-killer".
That said, it's not like I am forcing you into my belief. Just put up my opinion on it. So you don't need to reply.

and I insist that the only one at fault for the criminal's death, is the criminal himself/herself. There are a billion people out there who have been through terrible shit. It's unfair to those people to justify the criminal's actions to his awful past or something. If he is a sane person, he just shouldn't resort to crime. If he is not, then he should be receiving psychological treatment. Not be running around amok.

If the world were not insane there would have never been wars.

ChesCa

Sorry to interrupt:
Hidden for ranting
[hide]I'm now officially afraid to go to work now.
Now, it's not the 'I'm scared' kind of afraid, but the 'oh shit I don't want to go through this again' kind of afraid.
My 'ex' has now taken to saying (very loudly I might add) 'Cuddles, stop staring at my boyfriend!' as some form of harassment, among other things.
To give you an idea of the situation, I do not have a very good history with this girl: When I asked her out to the movies and she said yes, she was already seeing someone else at the time (she also asked to borrow some money; I'm sad to say I did lend her some, but it wasn't much in the end). When I found out she was two timing, I cut off from her, and she kept acting like I was being rude even after I fucking told her what she did. Now she has taken to bringing her boyfriend to work for whatever reason (the one she was seeing and actually denies seeing when I asked her out, despite the fact that I found pictures of her kissing him in his underwear) and she keeps harassing me. I'm actually considering telling my boss to schedule our hours around each other or to at least discipline her.
Now, for the meat of the problem: I space out. I mean I REALLY space out and stare off into space, and for whatever reason I sometimes end up staring straight at people not realizing it. Sometimes even my head follows them. This is what happened with her boyfriend and now they're calling me a stalker.
Never before have I really wanted to punch a girl so badly. I'm not going to, but it just goes to show how much she is whittling away at my patience ON TOP OF everything she put me through.
God damn so and so.[/hide]

Chrissie

Sea, you keep changing and adding things to the situations to try and make me agree with you, but I won't. You got raised with war stories but so did I. And I have witness miracles again and again and I have only been around for 22 years (almost) and I bet I'll see more. If a war broke out, I wouldn't be holding a gun. I would be tending to the sick and wounded. Or are you saying those kind of people, who prefer to stick with people who need someone kind around them in their last moments or prefer to treat people who need it, are less important that the ones doing the fighting? Anyway. I am going to end this conversation with
[hide][/hide]
because I am getting lazy~ You present an interesting point of view to me. Made me think things quite a bit. But alas until I experience something akin to what you say, I won't change my views. If I don't come face to face to those hypothetical situations you presented to me and end up reacting in a way you said, then I am inclined to continue believing what I think I would do and not what you are trying to make me believe I would do since… I kinda know myself a tiiiiiny bit better than you. ;P Thank you for an interesting talk brat!

Cuddles. Fuck that bitch. Not literally. You might get something hun. I think you should let your boss know you are being harassed by her. Also ask for her boyfriend to be kicked out because he is basically distracting TWO employees, both you and I bet her, from their work. Also say: "I am not staring at your boyfriend ma'am. I am staring at this stranger who has no business coming to my workplace and I would like him to get the fuck out of here." Well... not in those words but you get the point! :D

THE SEA

If a war broke out, I wouldn't be holding a gun. I would be tending to the sick and wounded. Or are you saying those kind of people, who prefer to stick with people who need someone kind around them in their last moments or prefer to treat people who need it, are less important that the ones doing the fighting?

No. We need both. Both are equally right.

@MDL:

i have absolutely nothing of value to add to this stunningly deep conversation, other than the fact that i agree with what chrissie is saying.
if i lived in a country that has the death penalty, and my little brother went on a murder spree, i would never hold it against the policeman if he arrested him and he was put to death.

There are some major misunderstanding here.
My point is the nature of the policeman's action is no different from the executioner's. Why should the executioner beg for forgiveness why the policeman shouldn't, while both of them are not those who decide the sentence, not it's them who wrote the law, nor it's them who decide the criminal's action.

Tsukishima

Actually, I don't really understand the purpose of this debate. That said, in The Sea's example. I think that it's possible for the policeman to feel remorse for his action. When your brother do something bad and you denounce him to your parents, if you think his punishment is too harsh, well you'd feel a bit bad about it.

Chrissie

Of course he would feel bad. But he is not the one doing the punishing. That is where I disagree with Sea. That the policeman or the brother, are also the cause of the punishment when they aren't really.

THE SEA

@Tsukishima:

Actually, I don't really understand the purpose of this debate. That said, in The Sea's example. I think that it's possible for the policeman to feel remorse for his action. When your brother do something bad and you denounce him to your parents, if you think his punishment is too harsh, well you'd feel a bit bad about it.

That is my stance. There is no point in begging for God's forgiveness if you don't feel bad. Begging for God's forgiveness is a Christian activity. Whether you beg for forgiveness doesn't matter, what matters is whether you feel bad.

But he is not the one doing the punishing

What he does is basically…putting the criminal into the chair. He is just not the one pushing the button.

--- Update From New Post Merge ---

That the policeman or the brother, are also the cause of the punishment

I never meant to say so.

Chrissie

He did nothing wrong to beg for forgiveness. When you feel bad for doing something that isn't really wrong, you don't go like 'Oh God forgive me'. You apologize to the person you think you wronged. Begging for forgiveness is a human activity. Not a Christian activity. -.-; When you fight with someone you don't ask God to forgive you. You ask the person to forgive you. And not to go to heaven. But to be a proper human being and not a fucked, stuck up freak that doesn't know how to swallow some on your pride to properly apologize to someone you think deserves your apology. The policeman didn't sin to ask for forgiveness. That is when you ask for forgiveness from God. When you sin.

THE SEA

@Chrissie:

He did nothing wrong to beg for forgiveness. When you feel bad for doing something that isn't really wrong, you don't go like 'Oh God forgive me'. You apologize to the person you think you wronged. Begging for forgiveness is a human activity. Not a Christian activity. -.-; .

I mean begging for God's forgiveness.

When you fight with someone you don't ask God to forgive you. You ask the person to forgive you. And not to go to heaven. But to be a proper human being and not a fucked, stuck up freak that doesn't know how to swallow some on your pride to properly apologize to someone you think deserves your apology. The policeman didn't sin to ask for forgiveness. That is when you ask for forgiveness from God. When you sin

Then should the executioner apologize the criminal or ask for his forgiveness?
@Tsukishima:

Well, you'd feel bad and if you are religious you'd probably beg for forgiveness or at least mention it during your prayer or whatever.

Thank you for understanding, Tsukishima-san.

Tsukishima

@THE:

That is my stance. There is no point in begging for forgiveness if you don't feel bad. Begging for forgiveness is a Christian activity. Whether you beg for forgiveness doesn't matter, what matters is whether you feel bad.

Well, you'd feel bad and if you are religious you'd probably beg for forgiveness or at least mention it during your prayer or whatever.

THE SEA

This post is deleted!

Pochipochi

My apologies Sea, but there is very little room for this discussion. The points and views have already been laid out with increasingly precise, redundant detail and this debate of yours has prolonged in such a way that it has the most minimal of places it can go. To stretch the question out with the exact same framework only makes it further difficult to not only talk about, but care. So give it a rest, yeah?

Chrissie

Sea. I'll slap you with a fish. The executioner should apologize to the criminal, Christian or not. The criminal will appreciate that more than you think for one. When asking for one's forgiveness, you don't do it to gather 'heaven credit'. You do it because you feel bad about it and you want the other person to know that you feel bad about it too. Not because it's the right thing to do as a 'Christian' but because it's the right thing to do as a 'human'.

THE SEA

@Holy:

My apologies Sea, but there is very little room for this discussion. The points and views have already been laid out with increasingly precise, redundant detail and this debate of yours has prolonged in such a way that it has the most minimal of places it can go. To stretch the question out with the exact same framework only makes it further difficult to not only talk about, but care. So give it a rest, yeah?

Well, I agree. Actually, as you know, the debate was done in the previous page. I was just clarifying some misunderstanding. Alas, I concede that I am a little too excited on…clarifying.

--- Update From New Post Merge ---

The executioner should apologize to the criminal, Christian or not. The criminal will appreciate that more than you think for one.

Not to prolong the discussion, just to be clear, my point is the criminal in his death chair will also appreciate it a lot if not only the executioner but the policeman does it too. Or what Tsukishima said. That's a very humane thing to do and exactly what I have been trying to say.
Just what I would choose to do. So let it end here.

Tsukishima

I have a confession.

I hate when people call me Tsukishima-san in this forum.

THE SEA

I have a confession.
I knew you hated it.

No Maam

@Tsukishima:

I have a confession.

I hate when people call me Tsukishima-san in this forum.

Look at it this way.

They could call you Not Aizen # 2 :ninja:

Tsukishima

@THE:

I have a confession.
I knew you hated it.

For some reason I feel like throwing plastic bags and other waste in the sea.

@No:

They could call you Not Aizen # 2

Don't give them new ideas, ok!

Monkey D

@Chrissie:

The executioner should apologize to the criminal, Christian or not. The criminal will appreciate that more than you think for one. When asking for one's forgiveness, you don't do it to gather 'heaven credit'. You do it because you feel bad about it and you want the other person to know that you feel bad about it too. Not because it's the right thing to do as a 'Christian' but because it's the right thing to do as a 'human'.

But if someone chose to be an executioner, I suppose that executing criminals doesn't mind him (and I'd even say, that he's proud of it), so I don't think he feels any remorse at executing some criminals and that he'd ask for the criminal's forgivness >_>.

Oh and Aizen #2 for Tsukishima…sounds great :p

trappedolphin

Cuddles, I think that you SHOULD tell your boss that the guy has been distracting and bugging you - especially since he has no place being there! I don't see why you should have to change your hours since you haven't done anything wrong; plus it would probably give them more room to spread rumours about you. I don't mean that you should become antagonistic or retaliate in that petty, immature way she has, but I think that you do have the right to tell your boss that her harrassment is bugging you. And I've done that daydream –> stare at random people thing millions of times before, so i know very well what you mean. Ignore them.

And I hope that you meet much nicer people in the future. :) (I hope your boss is understanding, too.)

Nami

@THE:

Nami should be Tsukishima's princess.
Bye.

snorts

But I'm already with Smudgy~

THE SEA

@Nami:

snorts

But I'm already with Smudgy~

Whatever.
Made no difference to me.

–- Update From New Post Merge ---

[removed insanity]

Pochipochi

Sea, I think you're going crazy.

THE SEA

Well, I thought this thread is to go crazy and put out our raw thoughts and emotions?
But thanks anyway. I will do something more useful than to release outburst in the Internet.
Now I kinda understand what Alan Moore had in his head when he wrote Rorschach.

Kitsune Inferno

You're less putting out your emotions than you are forcing your ideals. We got it when you first posted five pages ago. All you are doing now is appearing imposing with your sea of walls of texts. By this point, it's very offensive and insulting.

THE SEA

I was going crazy. I will talk about it more coherently when I got calmer.

Outerspec

I have a confession to make. I have no idea what's going on here.

–-------------------------------------------------------------

Moving on, I have another confession and an added question. You know when there's a really hot girl walking right in front of you and she's wearing really tight jeans, sweats, a mini skirt etc...? Where do most men look? They look right at the girl's ass of course. I try to look away (and I succeed most of the time)! I look anywhere but at the tempting sight. Weird yes? Well I don't know why but I feel rude when I stare. I've asked girls how this makes them feel and surprisingly enough (at least for me) they said they don't care. Hell, they said they kinda know when someone's checking them out from behind and are not bothered in the slightest. So my question is why do you girls not care if some creepy ass dude is staring at your ass and making a mental note in his mind? And it's more than that. We're practically groping you with our minds. I understand girls may feel that there's nothing they could do about it but does it still not bother you in the least? Even if it is a natural reaction.

Nami

Well, my opinion…

I don't mind so much if someone stares at my ass. Cause there can only be two reasons.
1. He likes what he sees.
2. He doesn't like what he sees but can't look away cause it's like an accident.
I try to think it's the first, so that's an ego boost. Yeah, I'm shallow like that.

I honestly find it more rude if someone stares and then makes disgusting noises. Or even GRABS. I kicked people in the nuts for this. So, DON'T GRAB AND DON'T MAKE DISGUSTING NOISES, just look fuckin away.

Edit:
Well, I admit, sometimes it can make me feel worse/ more insecure when I have an insecure bad day.

Smudger

But I'm an ass man…

Nami

@Smudger:

But I'm an ass man…

I wouldn't mind if you'd stare ;)

Outerspec

@Nami:

Well, my opinion…

I don't mind so much if someone stares at my ass. Cause there can only be two reasons.
1. He likes what he sees.
2. He doesn't like what he sees but can't look away cause it's like an accident.
I try to think it's the first, so that's an ego boost. Yeah, I'm shallow like that.

I honestly find it more rude if someone stares and then makes disgusting noises. Or even GRABS. I kicked people in the nuts for this. So, DON'T GRAB AND DON'T MAKE DISGUSTING NOISES, just look fuckin away.

Edit:
Well, I admit, sometimes it can make me feel worse/ more insecure when I have an insecure bad day.

So it can make you feel good? Like a compliment. Someone staring at your ass can be seen as a compliment. I don't mean to sound like an asshole when I say that btw. See, I thought girls felt impassive about it and didn't care one way or the other. But to know that they can see the stares as a compliment is a good thought. Every time I see some guy honing on some girl like a piece of meat it looked degrading if anything.

@Smudger:

But I'm an ass man…

I'm an…everything man?

Kylor

Hold on, staring at girls is a compliment now?

All my dreams have come true.

Nami

uhm, this is only my view :ninja:

And it always depends on HOW you stare. If you stare like a horny fuckin douchbag with drool coming out of your mouth, it can be very disgusting.
if you have this "Wow, she looks good, I will just admire her body from afar" look then it's ok. At least, that's what I think. …

I have a feeling I talk to much.

My confession. I just drank a beer and feel dizzy, wtf. I need to train more.

MDL

^ "Wow, she looks good, I will just admire her body from afar"

This pretty much sums up what i do.
i don't like to stare for too long, but if someone looks good then i'll at least take enough time to savour the image lol

piratemarimo

lol, the first thing I read on this page was "But I'm an ass man…"

--

! Anyways, you know what's weird? I always seem to get little crushes on guys who are already dating someone else. What's up with that? and then of course the other type of guy I like are the really good friends that should stay that way. Or in one case, the guy who started out annoying and who I pretend to not like but actually kind of like even though there's no way it'd work out ever. Not that it bothers me that much since I have no such time or inclination for a boyfriend. I also kind of don't give a shit anymore because the only guys who've ever asked me out are the annoying ones who are clearly just being sarcastic, so if asked, I will never be able to take it seriously. It rubs me the wrong way on the few occasions when some random ass dude acts as if he'd ever want to date me when in reality they probably think I'm a weirdo and love to irritate me cuz they think it's funny. Apparently a lot of people are familiar with "that Asian girl who dresses in all black and hates being poked." god knows what else people say about me.
! And this is unrelated, but I also had this fucking weird experience in the bathroom on Friday. I have my 4th hour open in school right now. Unlike most girls, I don't exactly like going to the bathroom in giant herds, so if possible I try to be alone. So I'm wandering around and I find one that happens to be empty and I go into one of the stalls. I hear a couple of girls come in and be like "Why did you have to stink up the bathroom?" Then they giggled at each other and left. Now, it could be possible they weren't talking to me and I was being crazy, or perhaps they thought I was someone else, except I could have sworn they called me by my name, though I do believe they were complete strangers. Fuck them. It does irk me, though this kind of thing hasn't ever happened before, to the best of my recollection. But girls who do those "trivial" little mean things to other girls for no fucking reason make me sick. For what purpose? Maybe once in a blue moon, "no biggie." (even though I have a hard time forgetting/letting go of many things which is a major problem). When it's a repeated process, little things like that slowly starts to chip away at some part of one's soul. At least that's what I think. Unless it's a clear understanding between friends who know the others are joking, my stance on that type of thing is "fuck off." I was kind of too "wtf" to say anything to those two who were long gone by the time I got out though. But wow talk about awkward.

trappedolphin

@Outerspec:

Moving on, I have another confession and an added question. You know when there's a really hot girl walking right in front of you and she's wearing really tight jeans, sweats, a mini skirt etc…? Where do most men look? They look right at the girl's ass of course. I try to look away (and I succeed most of the time)! I look anywhere but at the tempting sight. Weird yes? Well I don't know why but I feel rude when I stare. I've asked girls how this makes them feel and surprisingly enough (at least for me) they said they don't care. Hell, they said they kinda know when someone's checking them out from behind and are not bothered in the slightest. So my question is why do you girls not care if some creepy ass dude is staring at your ass and making a mental note in his mind? And it's more than that. We're practically groping you with our minds. I understand girls may feel that there's nothing they could do about it but does it still not bother you in the least? Even if it is a natural reaction.

Well I guess for the sake of variety in opinion, I'll answer.

I personally feel extremely uncomfortable if I feel like a guy is staring at me. I don't even dress skimpily, sometimes a tank top or a shorter skirt if it's really, really hot. I dunno, maybe it's an insecurity issue but when I feel like someone's staring I start second-guessing my outfit, like is my skirt too short do I look like a slut omgosh am I turning into one of those girls who wear shorts so short you can see the bottom half of their butt jiggle etc. etc. etc. And I don't like people staring at my body, even if it's in a 'good' way. So yeah, I generally don't like it - I don't know whether it's insulting per se, but it doesn't come off as a compliment to me, and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. Not judging anyone for anything, there's probably some variation in opinions for this matter, but I personally don't like it.

@piratemarimo:

! Anyways, you know what's weird? I always seem to get little crushes on guys who are already dating someone else. What's up with that? and then of course the other type of guy I like are the really good friends that should stay that way. Or in one case, the guy who started out annoying and who I pretend to not like but actually kind of like even though there's no way it'd work out ever. Not that it bothers me that much since I have no such time or inclination for a boyfriend. I also kind of don't give a shit anymore because the only guys who've ever asked me out are the annoying ones who are clearly just being sarcastic, so if asked, I will never be able to take it seriously. It rubs me the wrong way on the few occasions when some random ass dude acts as if he'd ever want to date me when in reality they probably think I'm a weirdo and love to irritate me cuz they think it's funny. Apparently a lot of people are familiar with "that Asian girl who dresses in all black and hates being poked." god knows what else people say about me.
! And this is unrelated, but I also had this fucking weird experience in the bathroom on Friday. I have my 4th hour open in school right now. Unlike most girls, I don't exactly like going to the bathroom in giant herds, so if possible I try to be alone. So I'm wandering around and I find one that happens to be empty and I go into one of the stalls. I hear a couple of girls come in and be like "Why did you have to stink up the bathroom?" Then they giggled at each other and left. Now, it could be possible they weren't talking to me and I was being crazy, or perhaps they thought I was someone else, except I could have sworn they called me by my name, though I do believe they were complete strangers. Fuck them. It does irk me, though this kind of thing hasn't ever happened before, to the best of my recollection. But girls who do those "trivial" little mean things to other girls for no fucking reason make me sick. For what purpose? Maybe once in a blue moon, "no biggie." (even though I have a hard time forgetting/letting go of many things which is a major problem). When it's a repeated process, little things like that slowly starts to chip away at some part of one's soul. At least that's what I think. Unless it's a clear understanding between friends who know the others are joking, my stance on that type of thing is "fuck off." I was kind of too "wtf" to say anything to those two who were long gone by the time I got out though. But wow talk about awkward.

ugh. that sounds so immature and bratty. i know it's difficult, BFF, but try not to let them bother you. you're a fun, wonderful person who's lovely to talk to. Some people (especially girls) like insulting others because it makes them feel better. Chin up, just focus on your own goals and the good people around you :)

Akumu

Thanks for the advice everyone, and thank you for taking the time to reply.

While I may nit have quoted everyone, or directly replied to you, I did read every post.

I'd also like to apologize for starting that argument that spanned the last few pages.

My B.

THE SEA

Religion is a sensitive topic. You have no fault in this. And the argument also benefits my insight on the problem. I has not been thinking about religion for a long time and kinda forgot what reasons established my current point of view.
Regardless of the differences, in the end we all love each other. That's all that matters.
Well, I hope that doesn't sound too cheesy and over-dramatic.

Chrissie

Sea, I want to challenge you to do something: Watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. No buts. Just watch it. Note on a piece of paper whatever emotion you feel during that.

As for what Outerspec said, personally I find it offensive when the men watching me are being offensive… Acting as if I am only a piece of ass/boobs, y'know? When they are not doing it in an offensive way, then I don't mind. It's flattering too. Just... Don't touch or treat me like a whore. That's the last thing I am and I appreciate to be treated with respect.

THE SEA

Well I watched the first ep and felt almost nothing. Perhaps my mind is too occupied by…you know.
On the topic of looking at girls, well, this never happened to me. When I walk in the street or ride a bicycle, I am always thinking about something else.

LaCaSiNa

Summers are great because you can wear sunglasses without suspicion and sneakily stare at anyone you like for as long as you like. YYYYEEEAAAHHH

… moving on. Ahem, I actually don't know how I feel about men staring at me since I either
a) never notice it or catch someone in the act
b) don't pay attention
c) have nothing worth staring at.
I think I'll go with Nami here: as long as the staring isn't of the sleazy kind, I'd probably find it flattering.

@piratemarimo: I hate when that happens so much. How many "innocent joke remarks" one can take varies from person to person of course, but if even the smallest things keep on happening it might push someone over the edge. There was a period in my life when I was kind of a bully and I despise myself for that… but it made me promise myself that I will never taunt someone or make them feel bad intentionally. Unless the person has done something to me personally or my loved ones, there simply is no reason. I don't care for a lot of people, but just because my preferences in people prevents me from liking them, that's still no basis for me to put them down. This doesn't necessarily make me a better person since I can't suddenly learn to like everybody, but it hopefully ensures that I don't ruin a part of someone's life ever again./rant and part confession

So, I hope you can hold your head high and ignore such stupidity even if you're not sure whether or not it was directed at you. :)

Chrissie

@THE:

Well I watched the first ep and felt almost nothing. Perhaps my mind is too occupied by…you know.

Keep watching. As long as the feeling wasn't disgust, it's ok. Keep watching~

MDL

@LaCaSiNa:

Summers are great because you can wear sunglasses without suspicion and sneakily stare at anyone you like for as long as you like.

definitely.

THE SEA

@Chrissie:

Keep watching. As long as the feeling wasn't disgust, it's ok. Keep watching~

To be honest it's a well-made show, but personally I don't like it. Not because I am embarrassed of watching a pinky shiny girly show. I am not against femininity. I think a mature man need to be both masculine and feminine.
Just because I am too much of a realist to like it. For my age to watch it is escapism and hedonism. And I don't want to forget life for a minute.

Smudger

This song goes out to Sea.

!

Nami

lol, the song made me giggle. Good choice.

OHHHHHHHHHH LIFE! IS BIGGER!

thinks of the time when she sang that song in front of the whole school~