And so it has come to pass. The Lords and Princes of the Video Games have come together again, on this most holy of occasions.
The Electronic Entertainment Expo of the 2019th Year of Our Lord, amen.
Microsoft: boxboxboxboxboxboxboxboxBOXBOXBOXBOXBOX
- the generation is beginning it's end, perhaps we shall see the next Xbox (the Xbox Two X S)
- some shenanigans about a streaming platform that will go as well as expected
- Fuck yeah new Halo
- Fuck yeah Halo on Steam
- Obsidian's new sci-fi RPG, Outer Worlds. Hopefully with minimal Chris Avellone wanking.
- Gears of War 5
- Ori sequel?
- Something from Ninja Theory, gotta make that acquisition print money at some point
- Dying Light 2 may or may not come out
- a bunch of random crap that we may or may not hear from again
- sigh …Battletoads
Bethesda: Akatosh Help Us All
- what next shall come from the flaming wreckage of Fallout 76?
- probably, maybe, probably not something about Elder Scrolls VI
- DOOM SEQUEL
- Wolfenstein thingy, kill some more nazis kids
- whatever the fuck Starfield is
- Evil Within 3?
- things may get thrown at Todd Howard
Some absolute madness at the Devolver Digital show
PC Gaming Show: ahAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
- AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
- HAHAHAAH
- AHAHAHAHAHAAHAA
- HA
Ubisoft: "Wait, pirates stole shit?"
- Just Dance, always a fun show
- Beyond Good And Evil 2 isn't showing up and is actually a story parents made up to make their children behave
- Skull and Bones also is not here, so we're stuck with Sea of Thieves for the time being
- Ghost Recon
- Watch_Dogs: LEGION, which will be a hilarious mess just like every Watch_Dogs game
- supposedly like three unannounced titles
- Miyamoto better show up with a blaster again
Square Enix: This Company Are Sick
- Further adventures in remaking Final Fantasy VII
- Avengers game, as spoken of in the legends
- Kingdom Hearts 3 DLC
- Square never shows shit at their own conferences
Nintendo: In the Court of the Koopa King
- an E3 without Reggie
- The despotic reign of Doug Bowser begins
- Mario Maker 2
- Wooloo Sword and Wooloo Shield
- Link's Awakening remake
- Luigi's Mansion 3
- motherfucking Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3
- Metroid Prime 4 is a lie concocted by THE MAN to control the masses and read our thoughts
- Animal Crossing
- Fire Emblem
OTHER:
- George RR Martin is making a game with FROM Software, you know, instead of doing that thing people actually want him to
- Adam Sessler will be out and about, god willing we see him reunited with Morgan Webb again
- Some really stupid shit at the EA thing, as per tradition
- Rocksteady will not be here. God knows what they've been doing.
- Perhaps Kojima will grace us with an even more batshit insane trailer, even with Sony gone
- Sony really had to go wash their dog this week so they skipped out, the PS5 will be around next year