Hoboy.
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Mini-Map shows all routes open. Need to check Menu Map to see what’s unexplored.
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Speaking of the menu map, it looks terrible. I wouldn’t even bring this up if its greatest crime was just looking like a low-res map from a Playstation 2 game. But…
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The menu map is completely useless in 2D. You must zoom in and squint to BARELY make out differences in elevation. Which brings me to my next point…
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“The first truly open-world Final Fantasy!” Since when did Open-World mean, “Run 100 meters then HIT A WALL OR FENCE OR CLIFF THAT YOU CANNOT MANIPULATE AROUND WHICH BLOCKS YOUR PATH FORCING YOU TO ATTEMPT TO USE THE TERRIBLE MAP TO FIND A WAY AROUND.”
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Developers: “Here’s your first dungeon! It’s a cave!”
Me: OH SWEET!
Developers: “Here’s your second dungeon! It’s a cave!”
Me: Uh…okay!
Developers: “Here’s your third dungeon! It’s a…sort of?….ice cave!”
Me: ……
Developers: Here’s your fourth dungeon! It’s another regular cave!
Me: ……….
(This is not an exaggeration, play the game, it happens exactly like this)
Speaking of dungeons….
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Over a decade in development and SE’s ingenious solution to loading/progression balance is…!
crevices….and shimmying across cliffs…. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? IT’S SO DISTRACTING! It destroys the pace! Oh, sure! They try to cover it with banter but every two rooms I have to spend 15-20 seconds crawling through spaces? ARE YOU INSANE!? Who thought that was even a remotely acceptable idea?
-Oh yeah, IT’S STILL A HALLWAY if you haven’t noticed. There’s a ‘world area’ sure. But anywhere that’s a dungeon is still a hallway. And y’know, that’d be forgivable if it wasn’t so OBVIOUS with the above-mentioned crevices and filtering into specific areas that the game wants me to take a VERY SPECIFIC route to get to.
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Random characterization choices with wall-breaking resolutions. Y’know, looking at Noct I thought he’d be a typical Cloud butthole. Not so! Actually has a semblance of personality. Which is The Titan scene with him and Gladio is WEIRD AS F! They’re going along just fine when Noct does literally what he’s done the rest of the game to that point AND WHAT THEY ASK HIM TO DO: ‘RETRIEVE THE WEAPON’ when he falls and suddenly he and Gladio are AT EACH OTHER’S THROATS and for NO REASON other than we’re expected to believe some irreconcilable travesty transpired between them in the span of about 3 seconds. And how does this end? As awkwardly and scene-breaking as possible. “GLADIOLUS’ WORDS TOUCH YOU AND YOU GAIN 50+ STR” HUH!? WHAT!? WHY NOT JUST MAKE THE ENEMIES SLIGHTLY LESS TOUGH!? WHY DID YOU NEED TO STOP THE GAME PROGRESSION TO GIVE ME A WINDOW TO TELL ME THAT!? IT SERVES NO PURPOSE! I’M NOT SITTING THERE WITH A CALCULATOR THINKING, “Ah yes, well, now I should be able to inflict exactly 6.5% more DPS so in the coming battle I’ll be able to stand at a 97-degree angle from the villain and attack from the blind-side while performing a handstand and playing a harmonica with my butthole.”
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Battle System. Ho-boy. The game starts by saying, “A FINAL FANTASY for old fans and new” This is, as you can imagine, complete and utter BS. The extent to which they cover ‘old fans’ in entirely in artwork. That’s it. It’s the lowest form of nostalgia-milking. “Hey look! A goblin! It looks just like the goblins from Final Fantasy 1!” Wow, a thing that looks like thing that I like. Y’know, I don’t buy knock-off products because they only LOOK LIKE the real product. I don’t buy them because despite the outward resemblance, they’re ACTUALLY MADE OF GARBAGE.
-Battle System Cont. For ‘geriatric fans’, there is nothing resembling the Final Fantasy battle system here. In fact, and I cannot believe I’m saying this, there is more in Final Fantasy 13 that resembles classic FF battles than this. So what is this battle system similar to?
Is it akin to Kingdom Hearts titles? I assumed it was and that had me mildly interested but no, Kingdom Hearts is a far more intuitive, fun and feedback-friendly system.
Is it like a FF MMORPG title? In a way, yes. Imagine you had every class. And you mashed them into one character and you were expected to perform everything that every class can perform at once, that’s FF15’s battle system. On paper, that might sound like a inconceivable amalgamation of button presses, button holds, awkward QTEs, item management, visual/aural feedback+input, multiple meter management, and party member management of AI characters that makes for an ultimately needlessly complex, chaotic, and cumbersome battle system, but it’s so very, very, much worse than that.
Add to that the LAUGHABLY awkward Wait system which is simultaneously critical (in order to scan your enemies for weakness to a certain point) and pace-breaking as you’ll just be getting into the battle only for the screen to freeze just because you aren’t pushing one of them many required buttons controlling no less than a dozen different possible NECESSARY actions at any given second.
I’m not saying it’s tough or difficult. I’m saying it is AGRESSIVELY CUMBERSOME AND SUPERFLUOUS. If you’re making a game like this….JUST MAKE A DMC+SOULS-LIKE ACTION RPG! NOT A ‘CLASSIC-STYLE’ RPG SUPPOSEDLY FOR ‘ANCIENT FANS’!
- I talked above about the designs being nostalgia-milking. I was only able to realize some of these design influences because of the bestiary gallery. Good luck trying to see your opponents in-game. You never will. You’ll only see massive hordes of blurry polygons speeding by performing indecipherable actions. NONE of the beautiful artwork (I’m not gonna rag on the artists folks) can be seen. This wasn’t even a problem with FF13!
THIS IS WHY KINGDOM HEARTS WORKS WELL WITH DISNEY.
The characters are brightly-colored and composed of relatively simple shapes. It’s easy to see what you’re facing. NOT HERE! Given the Lovecraft-like creepiness of an entire genre of baddies in the game, they all look like the same grey twisty-spikey masses of flesh. What compounds this is fighting anywhere from 4-12 of these things at once making it absolutely impossible to appreciate what you’re fighting.
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Back to things being cumbersome, the starting tutorial was adequate, but every (PACE-BREAKING) in-game tutorial is wildly uninformative and difficult to decipher, compounded with the fact that they are incredibly difficult to properly input with a specific guide. There’s supposed to be some kind of chain attack that I can SOMEHOW (darned if I know!) activate during battle but multiple attempts to follow the onscreen prompt of “Warp-Strike to initiate a Chain Attack!” have ALL failed miserably. I’m not saying it’s hard I’m saying, give me a practice arena or something to get used to it!
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PACING AGAIN! Damn, nothing gets my goat like a game thinks it’s clever by making me change up my gear from one battle to the next. I DON’T HAVE THAT MUCH TIME AND IT’S A COMPLETE PAIN IN THE BUTT OPENING MENUS TO D*** AROUND WITH GEAR DURING A BATTLE! THIS IS WHY WE DIDN’T HAVE THAT BS IN OLD JRPGS AND PART OF WHY THEY HOOKED SO MANY IN THE FIRST PLACE!
“Oh, Sephiroth, buddy, chill for a sec. would ya? I see that you’re weak to daggers so lemme just pull this out. Let’s see…potion, nope. Gun? Nope. Lance? Uh-uh. Now where is it? I knew it was in here somewhere???”
OUR TTRPG FOREFATHERS MUST BE ROLLING IN THEIR GRAVES!
-Magic. NO ONE. EVER AGAIN. EVER, EVER, EVER! IS PERMITTED TO SH** ON FF8’S DRAW SYSTEM!!!! NEVER!!!!! Oh man, what a terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE IDEA!!!! AGAIN, TEN YEARS!!!
“So here’s an idea, make the players combine CONSUMMABLE ingredients COMPLETELY AT RANDOM for spells that are DANGEROUS TO YOUR PARTY AND CUMBERSOM TO PROPERLY AIM (barrels during Dead-Eye fight I’m looking at you) and OH YEAH! If you find a good combo? GOOD LUCK REMEMBERING THAT SUCKER! Nope, no method of saving your useful formulas! This is AGAIN, something that is expected to be enjoyed during the heat of combat.
-Takka. Talk to this lame-o about a quest. Do it. I dare ya’. Despite the fact that he is staring DIRECTLY AT YOU this is how he will respond. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
“GAHWHAT-HUH!?”
It’s obnoxious. Speaking of obnoxious dialogue…
- Because your game is fully-voiced doesn’t mean everyone need to be talking ALL THE TIME. SE is going Michael Bay by having garbage there that not only doesn’t need to be there, but SHOULDN’T be there! There are two cases in particular that come to mind: stopping while running and swinging a weapon out of battle.
In this game you have a stamina bar for running. If you let it run out you slow down. So, naturally, just before it runs out, you stop running. In this game your party members run behind you. So if you stop running they will SMASH INTO YOU AND SHOUT AND SCREAM AND BERATE YOU FOR STOPPING SUDDENLY.
W.T.F!!!!!!!
There’s a difference between this happening once to help you feel like you’re in the world and happening for the FIVE-HUNDREDTH TIME.
Same thing with swinging a weapon in the field out of battle. Better hope a party member isn’t around! Otherwise they’ll cry in surprise and AGAIN berate you and YOU THEN APOLOGIZE EVERY TIME.
THESE ARE VERY, VERY SIMPLE CONCEPTS! THIS SHOWS HOW VERY LITTLE THE DEVELOPERS HAVE ANY SENSE OF WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE SPENDING HOURS UPON HOURS IN THIS WORLD!
-Getting money. Despite being a game for ‘rotting in the ground fans’ as well as new ones, this game does NOTHING to explain Gil. I found myself FLAT-BROKE and stuck in a town with nowhere to go or stay at night.
Scenario: Car was parked in the town where you first meet Gladio’s sister. Purchased some things at a store. Had 290 gil left. Explored town until night. Was ready for bed. Went to the inn WHERE THE OLD MAN PRACTICALLY BEATS HIS GRANDSON FOR NOT SPEAKING TO ME IN KING JAME’S BIBLE ENGLISH but yet feels the need to CHARGE ME 300 GIL A NIGHT. Okay, 10 gil short, no prob. I’ll just…..
I’ll just what?
It’s night. Still early game! I can’t beat sh** out there at night! Not only that, the car becomes unusable if stuck in daemon area of alertness!
What option did I have? Had to WAIT UNTIL MORNING!
Now, that’s about 5 minutes or so. Not such a big deal. But again TEN-GDMF-YEARS!
I only learned later BECAUSE I LOOKED IT UP ON MY OWN that ‘Treasures’ could safely be sold. Well….SOME OF THEM ANYWAY. Gee game, thanks for calling my one other source of Gil in a game series KNOWN FOR BENEFITING HOARDERS ‘Treasures’ without any indication that I can safely sell SOME of them for easy Gil.
Again, these are signs that the people making it have NO CLUE how people actually play the game. WHY take away earning money in battle? It serves only to confuse and add another CUMBERSOME layer of complication.
-I have no idea what I’m doing. I was onboard when we were going to meet my bride. Good, got all that. Then the s hit the fan. Okay, cool! I’m still with you. NOW WE’RE LOOKING FOR ANCIENT TOMBS IN ORDER TO FIGHT….er….something? Nifleheim? I guess? We’re uh….looking to fight…a country? That’s our…opponent? Oh but wait! HOLD ON NOW WE’RE GOD-HUNTING but wait we don’t know why or how but we are and that’s what we’re doing now. Oh and it’s taxing on Luna and they as characters know what or why but I don’t and it’s just made all the more confusing because I don’t know why I’m fighting this god who was holding up a comet. Yes. What?
-Reality. Before the game came out, I watched the car-pushing scene and it turned me off immediately.
finalFANTASY.
Yeah, I want to play a game to live the stresses of real life.
It was a joke, I took my jab back then, fully hoping that it would only contrast with the high fantasy contained within.
Here I am at hour 23, still worried about gasoline, having to stop my car at samey modern gas stations with strikingly similar diners buying food and sometimes camping with COLEMAN goods.
It…IT’S REAL LIFE! WHY AM I PLAYING THIS!?
I’ve written 2000 words and I’m not even through half of the things that are terrible about this game. I thought maybe it was me so I went to YouTube looking for an explanation of the battle system. NOPE! Nobody else has any idea what they’re doing either. Just a jumbled bunch of largely, reactive and rarely thoughtful button presses.
Ten years.
Wow.
The biggest insult I can give this game is to say, at this point, I’d rather play Final Fantasy 13, than this.