I just felt an urge to hurt myself. I feel I'm a pathetic shit and I hate it. I want to escape my own self, which is kinda impossible.
Have you tried exorcise? sometimes it helps.
I just felt an urge to hurt myself. I feel I'm a pathetic shit and I hate it. I want to escape my own self, which is kinda impossible.
Have you tried exorcise? sometimes it helps.
I'm not sure what that means.
Oh, i go out to jog daily. It helps with my depression. It does jack-shit for my health (well, some people have said my legs aren't that bad) but it helps me keep going.
! I had another breakdown a few minutes ago. Or at least, I think so. I've lost my sense of time.
It was.. kind of intense. I was… sort of... punching myself. My legs. The upper part of those. With bot my fists. I don't know what I tried to accomplish. I just couldn't stop myself. It hurt pretty badly, but I guess I'm alright now. Didn't break anything.
I tried to drink, but it didn't help, I just feel a slight nausea right now. Why do people tell that alcohol can make you temporarily careless?
! Now I'm ashamed. And alone. My friends don't want to play with me. I can't stop thinking about the boy I loved. Memories just keep coming back, but I don't want to remember. I feel like a failure and I started crying again. I'm afraid to write to my friend over teamspeak because they've had enough. I can tell. I just can't control my feelings. Please help me.
I used to do that same thing a lot, but it really hasn't happened in the 4 years I've been on this medication, even though I'm horrible about taking it. I really don't think pounding on your legs is as much hurting yourself as cutting, but it doesn't feel that great (I mean technically IT IS hurting yourself, but I would do it to keep from actually doing something more severe). I would do that because otherwise I wanted to punch the wall up and I WOULD feel bad about that after (and get beat).
I second the exercise thing, or finding some kind of physical activity that gets you into a zen like state where you feel relaxed. It could be just walking/skipping/dancing around listening to music, pacing. For me, I really liked to get in a swing and spin it around in circles. Unfortunately the tree I had my swing on died from a sudden disease and rotted out and I am still too fat to risk trying another branch on another tree. It's not the same, but not having that outlet has kinda made me eh. So I've just taken to pacing around with my headphones on, moving around however. Or getting lost while taking a walk (which I need to do more of).
But ever since I could remember, I love to daydream. I love to imagine entire stories in my mind or headcanon out my version of favorite books/anime/shows/whatever I like while I zone out like this. That's literally been my mainstay coping mechanism (along with swinging) at least since I was 3 years old. Getting lost in something is a good way to calm down, or get to the point I can reason myself out of feeling shitty after I've cooled off.
You know the kind of person I don't want to become? The kind that takes my anger, frustration, and stress out on someone else who doesn't deserve it. Long story short I was the perpetrator. We all have those bad days at work but I'm going to watch myself to make sure I'm not carrying those negative feelings home to dump on anybody and at worst blame them in some convoluted way.
It's ok to take those feelings and share them with someone close to you so they can understand what you're going through, but for goodness sakes don't turn that person into an outlet.
Ugghhdjdudjwm
You know the kind of person I don't want to become? The kind that takes my anger, frustration, and stress out on someone else who doesn't deserve it. Long story short I was the perpetrator. We all have those bad days at work but I'm going to watch myself to make sure I'm not carrying those negative feelings home to dump on anybody and at worst blame them in some convoluted way.
It's ok to take those feelings and share them with someone close to you so they can understand what you're going through, but for goodness sakes don't turn that person into an outlet.
Ugghhdjdudjwm
This. You may have many people take their frustrations out on you but as soon as you do it to someone else, your pain doesn't matter and you're always the bad person. You never get away with it.
I never got away with it. But I learned that I don't want to hurt other people the way I've been hurt. It accomplishes nothing but make someone unrelated completely miserable.
Nolus's story reminds me of that one time I was so angry and frustrated at life I'd do the same and frequently punch my legs. Got bruises once over it.
It really helps a lot to find other venues for that anger though. Doing exercise helped. In the sense I don't punch myself anymore … still find myself down and getting the case of the blues now and then, but the reaction is usually a desire to get involved with something (a movie, drawing, writing) as opposed to self-hate. It also helps that I feel much more comfortable with myself nowadays.
You know the kind of person I don't want to become? The kind that takes my anger, frustration, and stress out on someone else who doesn't deserve it. Long story short I was the perpetrator. We all have those bad days at work but I'm going to watch myself to make sure I'm not carrying those negative feelings home to dump on anybody and at worst blame them in some convoluted way.
It's ok to take those feelings and share them with someone close to you so they can understand what you're going through, but for goodness sakes don't turn that person into an outlet.
Ugghhdjdudjwm
I remember sometimes work can be really stressful like REALLY, REALLY, stressful and in those times when i couldn't explode or vent with the one responsible i would go out and thought "I will just rip at the inept person or someone who does something wrongly. Maybe a waiter, yeah. I'll just wait until they give me shitty service or something like that" But then the first person i came accross would be really nice to me. Like really nice. And i couldn't do it and even forget all about it. So nowadays when i feel stressed like that i try to remember that there are always nice people in the world. It helps me cope a little.
This. You may have many people take their frustrations out on you but as soon as you do it to someone else, your pain doesn't matter and you're always the bad person. You never get away with it.
I never got away with it. But I learned that I don't want to hurt other people the way I've been hurt. It accomplishes nothing but make someone unrelated completely miserable.
I remember sometimes work can be really stressful like REALLY, REALLY, stressful and in those times when i couldn't explode or vent with the one responsible i would go out and thought "I will just rip at the inept person or someone who does something wrongly. Maybe a waiter, yeah. I'll just wait until they give me shitty service or something like that" But then the first person i came accross would be really nice to me. Like really nice. And i couldn't do it and even forget all about it. So nowadays when i feel stressed like that i try to remember that there are always nice people in the world. It helps me cope a little.
This is all true.
Don't ruin somone else's day just because yours wasn't so great, especially if that person is being nice to you. They just might make your day better instead of you worsening theirs.
I don't know if it's the depression, my overall personality or just plain weakness, but I can't really find myself after the.. end of my first love. It's… haunting me. He seems to be alright and happy, meanwhile I'm here, crying on a weekly basis, harassing my friends and spamming this thread. Add to that that I've got rejected again since then. Also the other guy was so happy to tell me he's in love with a girl abroad and how awesomely they fit.
I thought I was over this, but my mind doesn't let me be.
Take time to remember that you are you and are fine that way. You don't feel someone else to be complete and, hey, you're pretty awesome so don't feel bad. And i know people in this thread are always happy to help so never feel bad for posting in here :3
What the fuck did I just watch
So this happened.
I have known this girl for like a year now and I've liked her since then, but she's married and I'm not the type of guy to become the third wheel, so I've kept this a secret till yesterday when I told her how I felt and she said she has always sees me as a cousin (We're not even related, her mom is my mom's best friend blah blah), so I told her to remove that image out which she smile but then she proceed to said that big "NO" which I was expecting because lets be honest there's no fun in being accepted in the first try but If she said "YES" I would have questioned her marriage right away and might back down, now I'm planning on taking this slowly, doing one step at a time and planning before acting and I have this question:
Considering what I just wrote happened to you (Female), How would you feel If you found this in your car after you get out of work but instead of being what you're expecting it to be it turns out to be something completely different and unexpected?
So this happened.
I have known this girl for like a year now and I've liked her since then, but she's married and I'm not the type of guy to become the third wheel, so I've kept this a secret till yesterday when I told her how I felt and she said she has always sees me as a cousin (We're not even related, her mom is my mom's best friend blah blah), so I told her to remove that image out which she smile but then she proceed to said that big "NO" which I was expecting because lets be honest there's no fun in being accepted in the first try but If she said "YES" I would have questioned her marriage right away and might back down, now I'm planning on taking this slowly, doing one step at a time and planning before acting and I have this question:
Considering what I just wrote happened to you (Female), How would you feel If you found this in your car after you get out of work but instead of being what you're expecting it to be it turns out to be something completely different and unexpected?
I'm gonna say that, barring the intrinsic implications that I have a LOT to say about this situation to advise you against pursuing this any further because right now I don't have the time to write up a long post, I'm going to keep it short and simple and say, as a guy, I would definitely NOT do that plan, which is just plain creepy and not amusing in the slightest.
So this happened.
I have known this girl for like a year now and I've liked her since then, but she's married and I'm not the type of guy to become the third wheel, so I've kept this a secret till yesterday when I told her how I felt and she said she has always sees me as a cousin (We're not even related, her mom is my mom's best friend blah blah), so I told her to remove that image out which she smile but then she proceed to said that big "NO" which I was expecting because lets be honest there's no fun in being accepted in the first try but If she said "YES" I would have questioned her marriage right away and might back down, now I'm planning on taking this slowly, doing one step at a time and planning before acting and I have this question:
Considering what I just wrote happened to you (Female), How would you feel If you found this in your car after you get out of work but instead of being what you're expecting it to be it turns out to be something completely different and unexpected?
No, nope, noperino, no way in hell, never, neveeeeer.
Don't do it. You are looking at a world of physical hurt for you and everyone involved.
I'm actually really confused about the whole situation. Just, really poor writing, or punctuation, something's off is what I'm saying.
So you're going to leave a fake parking citation on her car that's not actually a citation?
Also, am I understanding correctly when I read that she said no to you, and you're interpreting her "no" as a "I have to say no right now because I'm married, but PLEASE, keep on trying and having fun in the hunt!"
If this understanding of mine is correct, let me clarify something
NO means NO. Kindly stop any and all planning to pursue this any further. NOW. And never think of it ever again. Because NO.
NO.
So this happened.
Honestly, it makes you sound like a total creep.
Shouldn't be hitting on a married woman anyway. Even if they're "just dating" that's a douche move, but married?
Back off. Unless she explicitly has said the marriage is over and has already filed for a divorce right now and is just waiting on the paperwork, even then its STILL a complete ass move to hit on someone that's spoken for. And if she hasn't done that? And has in fact said "NO?" Just makes it even worse.
Creepy, stalkerish, and assholish all wrapped up in one package. Don't do it.
Get over her, move on, do not pass go, do not collect 200$.
Considering what I just wrote happened to you (Female), How would you feel If you found this in your car after you get out of work but instead of being what you're expecting it to be it turns out to be something completely different and unexpected?
Am I safe in assuming that what you would put in the envelope would be nudes and/or dick pics because other then that… Unless you were just going to write someone a generic, encouraging "You can do the thing, have a nice day!" note but putting it in a parking ticket for effect, I really don't get why you would be doing such a thing.
She already said no, it's not gonna happen.
I do know that this situation is creepy and completely awkward and that's the main reason why I said that I have kept it for a year because I know the consequences that this can bring and in my defense I have to say that she started it all, flirting, hitting my phone at 3 AM and she even wanted to come to my place a few times (New place) but knowing the situation and how I felt I always tried to play the fool and distant myself from her and her family (I even think that one of her brothers hates or something), but Since my mom and hers are really good friend I always try to keep in touch with her and three days ago I spoke to her hypothetically about this situation and she said that the "Marriage" might be coming to an end, so I decided to make a move, I could have waited a little longer but you have to take your changes when you see them fit.
At least I placed everything on the table rather than keeping it forever and always think about what would have happened If I actually made the move with X person.
Nope, still a creeper douche move.
You do NOT hit on someone in a relationship, no matter what signals you think you're getting. That's just awful.
AFTER a breakup, you can make an approach 2 months later.
I do know that this situation is creepy and completely awkward and that's the main reason why I said that I have kept it for a year because I know the consequences that this can bring and in my defense I have to say that she started it all, flirting, hitting my phone at 3 AM and she even wanted to come to my place a few times (New place) but knowing the situation and how I felt I always tried to play the fool and distant myself from her and her family (I even think that one of her brothers hates or something), but Since my mom and hers are really good friend I always try to keep in touch with her and three days ago I spoke to her hypothetically about this situation and she said that the "Marriage" might be coming to an end, so I decided to make a move, I could have waited a little longer but you have to take your changes when you see them fit.
At least I placed everything on the table rather than keeping it forever and always think about what would have happened If I actually made the move with X person.
That is an incredibly reasonable rationale. You have reasoned everything very thoroughly.
And that is why you are incredibly wrong about this. It should never have been an option on the table in the first place.
Am I safe in assuming that what you would put in the envelope would be nudes and/or dick pics because other then that… Unless you were just going to write someone a generic, encouraging "You can do the thing, have a nice day!" note but putting it in a parking ticket for effect, I really don't get why you would be doing such a thing.
She already said no, it's not gonna happen.
Read my latest post and is something that I would have done in a later stage just for the impact, but I might not pursue this any further.
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
Nope, still a creeper douche move.
You do NOT hit on someone in a relationship, no matter what signals you think you're getting. That's just awful.
After a breakup, you can make an approach 2 months later.
@Purple:
That is an incredibly reasonable rationale. You have reasoned everything very thoroughly.
And that is why you are incredibly wrong about this. It should never have been an option on the table in the first place.
Fear enough, I'll take your advice and move on.
Do not pursue it further.
Folks of the opposite gender can want to have friends without wanting to date them.
People misread such things all the time.
If she really is into you, and really thinks her marriage isn't going to work, she'll be getting divorced. If she's not already going through that process, trying to force it is just… really awful.
When you over rationalize every movement and moment you're doing something wrong. Don't do whatever you think you're doing. You will end up disrespecting her and that's awful.
Really it's just doing everything you can to avoid the main question. You're saying things like "well I have to talk to her because so and so and her are friends and to be fair she started it" when these things don't really address the issue you have, which is "should actually make my move?" And fact is that nothing, nada, zip, zippo, zero, no justification exists for this sort of scenario.
Marriage is a sacred bond between two people to be faithful to each other. You should never hit on any woman in relationship/marriage, it's outright rude and disrespectful.
Now sometimes emotions hard to handle, but sometimes it's best to just let them go with the wind. Not do something like leaving a creep note
Anyways, good luck on moving on, I'm sure you'll meet someone eventually.
If one day down the road she DOES get divorced, and only when she is officially 100% legally divorced, is it ok to make a move. But honestly I don't think fantasizing about a married woman is really a good idea for your sanity. And even if she "did" flirt, she's married, and it will say a lot more about your character if you responded to her advances than it would matter the she initiated the contact. You've got to be the better person in this case, people married/in relationships are off-limits. It's not cool, it really doesn't matter how two people feel about each other, if the involved person is just really unhappy, they need to go through all the proper channels by informing their spouse/significant other that it's through, and end the relationship. People who want to "stay married" for whatever material benefit they get yet flirt around are not really the type of character you want to associate with, anyway. It's going to end up hurting you a lot more than it would her, so I just wouldn't do a thing, from that standpoint.
Yeah, thanks to all of you for clearing that road and help realize that this was a dick move on my part and I should have kept my mouth shut for good.
Theres other women mate. Get rid of your strange infatuation with the married woman. Go ask someone else for a drink or something
Yeah, thanks to all of you for clearing that road and help realize that this was a dick move on my part and I should have kept my mouth shut for good.
It's hard to call it a dick move if your feelings were sincere. Life is the true dick here. It's easy to make foolish mistakes when you're infatuated with someone, but whichever your decision is, don't make yourself look ridiculous.
…
Damn, be careful, Anita, you're gonna explode :ninja:
Should we call you "No-qanky" now ?
i don't really care too much about the love affair stuff but you should definitely be the guy to start putting fake parking tickets on peoples cars
not even romantic stuff necessarily just really wacky stuff
who knows maybe you'll become locally famous and the girl will dump her man in favor of this newfound jokester celeb
i say go for it dude
"Anyways, good luck on moving on, I'm sure you'll meet someone eventually."
also probably the wrong place to be bringing this up but this platitude is seriously some of the most awful noxious shit available.
the truth of the matter is that for most people who are truly and utterly fucked whether it be socially, physically or mentally, things just don't get better. they just rot and fester like bloated corpses, especially if they're fed little cloying morsels like this. this isn't even really a cynical or pessimistic critique on my part; i'm all for people rising above and whatnot but I just think spoonfeeding all the lonely souls these dumb little platitudes does nothing but transform them all into pale tapeworms sucking off the low-nutrient periphery of society. might as well just give it to people low and dirty as opposed to giving them lame hopes. seen way too many people get crippled, lose their minds or cut themselves off from friends and love only to just become literally the worst possible iteration of themselves.
(not that the parking ticket guy is necessarily one of these people, but I still think this advice sucks in any context)
also probably the wrong place to be bringing this up but this platitude is seriously some of the most awful noxious shit available.
the truth of the matter is that for most people who are truly and utterly fucked whether it be socially, physically or mentally, things just don't get better. they just rot and fester like bloated corpses, especially if they're fed little cloying morsels like this. this isn't even really a cynical or pessimistic critique on my part; i'm all for people rising above and whatnot but I just think spoonfeeding all the lonely souls these dumb little platitudes does nothing but transform them all into pale tapeworms sucking off the low-nutrient periphery of society. might as well just give it to people low and dirty as opposed to giving them lame hopes. seen way too many people get crippled, lose their minds or cut themselves off from friends and love only to just become literally the worst possible iteration of themselves.
What the fuck are you talking about.
What the fuck are you talking about.
I'm not watching an hour and a half video.
What are YOU talking about.
IMDb Plot Summary
After the earthquake of Guilan, the film director and his son, Puya, travel to the devastated area to search for the actors of the movie the director made there a few years ago, Khane-ye Doust Kodjast? (1987). In their search, they found how people who had lost everything in the earthquake still have hope and try to live life to the fullest.
So it's a movie about hope and perseverance in the face of total disaster. Like…the complete opposite of Laffitte's own comment about "lame hopes". It's like he's arguing with himself.
Uh, sounds good. I'll try to watch it.
IMDb Plot Summary
So it's a movie about hope and perseverance in the face of total disaster. Like…the complete opposite of Laffitte's own comment about "lame hopes". It's like he's arguing with himself.
Maybe everyone dies.
This is a very exhausting day to be someone who has to help people. All at once my friends are having really crashing difficulties and it's overwhelming to want to be supportive and help, and there's a lot banking on me, but I also want to get away a little.
I'm going into nursing (its my degree, im halfway and will be an LPN soon) because I have to support my boyfriend and I and it's very easy to both find work and earn enough money for us that I can support him alone even if he can't find work (but he's an extremely talented artist with good connections so I think that will eventually work out), but I also want to be making enough money to help out friends because I cannot stress enough the great financial difficulties trans people I know have to go through and the terrible bureaucratic processes that tangle them up and make for great difficulties, especially being poor, especially being disabled. The more overlap, the more impossibly hard to describe pain. A lot of this can be helped when I have more money, I can even just buy food, order a fucking pizza, but even contributions to like hormone care would be greatly appreciated. To have the freedom to have enough that I can spare expenses slightly.
This is just a dream. But right now, without the money to spend on other people, and being in a very bad situation myself, all I can offer is support, emotional stuff, or talking things out, and it's a lot. There's so many problems at once people are having, and I am quick to jump on board, to give a warm hug, to be like "it's okay" and do what I can to comfort. But it also gives me great anxiety that they have troubles, that I too have troubles, that I can't help, that couples where I am friends with both individuals might break up, that people are frustrated with each other, that they can't get government assistance because their abusive but also extremely desperate and poor parent fraudulently claimed them as a dependent, that piece of shit doctors can deny medical care with a wave of hand and go "you're not serious enough so I don't believe you are trans enough to need help". There's so much that could be further helped, if I had money. I don't care about myself. I just need to help people. I can't yet. But I can help soon. I need to spend a lot of it on me for a while, save it up, I need to be very smart about how I handle money.
But maybe some day we can own property, maybe I can house people who are in need, buy people food, get them medicine. I don't know. All of these feelings are coming together with my own problems because I sure have them, to be exhausting and overwhelming. I am just exhausted. I am exhausted that I can't give people the help they really need, that I have to see so much of it. It feels like everyone at once is collapsing today and I can't really deal with it.
This is a very exhausting day to be someone who has to help people. All at once my friends are having really crashing difficulties and it's overwhelming to want to be supportive and help, and there's a lot banking on me, but I also want to get away a little.
I'm going into nursing (its my degree, im halfway and will be an LPN soon) because I have to support my boyfriend and I and it's very easy to both find work and earn enough money for us that I can support him alone even if he can't find work (but he's an extremely talented artist with good connections so I think that will eventually work out), but I also want to be making enough money to help out friends because I cannot stress enough the great financial difficulties trans people I know have to go through and the terrible bureaucratic processes that tangle them up and make for great difficulties, especially being poor, especially being disabled. The more overlap, the more impossibly hard to describe pain. A lot of this can be helped when I have more money, I can even just buy food, order a fucking pizza, but even contributions to like hormone care would be greatly appreciated. To have the freedom to have enough that I can spare expenses slightly.
This is just a dream. But right now, without the money to spend on other people, and being in a very bad situation myself, all I can offer is support, emotional stuff, or talking things out, and it's a lot. There's so many problems at once people are having, and I am quick to jump on board, to give a warm hug, to be like "it's okay" and do what I can to comfort. But it also gives me great anxiety that they have troubles, that I too have troubles, that I can't help, that couples where I am friends with both individuals might break up, that people are frustrated with each other, that they can't get government assistance because their abusive but also extremely desperate and poor parent fraudulently claimed them as a dependent, that piece of shit doctors can deny medical care with a wave of hand and go "you're not serious enough so I don't believe you are trans enough to need help". There's so much that could be further helped, if I had money. I don't care about myself. I just need to help people. I can't yet. But I can help soon. I need to spend a lot of it on me for a while, save it up, I need to be very smart about how I handle money.
But maybe some day we can own property, maybe I can house people who are in need, buy people food, get them medicine. I don't know. All of these feelings are coming together with my own problems because I sure have them, to be exhausting and overwhelming. I am just exhausted. I am exhausted that I can't give people the help they really need, that I have to see so much of it. It feels like everyone at once is collapsing today and I can't really deal with it.
I don't know if it's any help but i have friends that know people in the states that are activists for LGBT rights. Maybe they can help in some way your friends (I don't know their situation so i can only suggest). Where are they situated? Maybe they know someone.
That's actually a good question, what state/city is this? I'm particularly baffled at a doctor dismissing someone because they're not "serious enough" … like damn, does this doctor even begin to comprehend the situation? Granted, I don't know the situation but it just sounds shockingly terrible. There's got to be a support group somewhere there that can help them, at least I'd hope so ...
As for you Holy, sadly this is one of those things where you need to be careful about not spreading yourself too thin. Like you say, maybe one day you can be there to provide greater support, but it's difficult getting to that day if at present you're overwhelming yourself emotionally. It is fantastic that you are helping them so much, it's simply amazing, but do your best to distance yourself emotionally a bit more. For your own health, you know? Things have a way of working themselves out, and even if not ... you need your strength to solve your own difficulties before you can carry those of others.
Wanting to start up your own place to help people is an admirable thing to do. I'm not sure how many places are out there specifically for trans people. I'm sure if you wanted to start one up in the future you will come across some investment money and a wanting population that could use and would be eternally grateful for the help.
Not sure if this is the right place for my question but recently my mom was harass at her medical workplace simple because of wearing hijab despite not doing anything wrong or preaching our religion views or anything . She was simply told to "fuck off" simply because of wearing hijab.
So i gotta ask ; why do people in west society find it wrong that muslim women or any women ( i don't think only muslim women wear hijab or like to cover their bodies ) like to cover their body rather than exposing it ? I mean i understand if some people didn't like religious people or views but i just don't get why is it consider wrong for women to not look like sluts or whatever .
@Doffy.:
Not sure if this is the right place for my question but recently my mom was harass at her medical workplace simple because of wearing hijab despite not doing anything wrong or preaching our religion views or anything . She was simply told to "fuck off" simply because of wearing hijab.
So i gotta ask ; why do people in west society find it wrong that muslim women or any women ( i don't think only muslim women wear hijab or like to cover their bodies ) like to cover their body rather than exposing it ? I mean i understand if some people didn't like religious people or views but i just don't get why is it consider wrong for women to not look like sluts or whatever .
it's a nice strawberry swirl of 1) country bumpkin type christian people who do everything in their power to live and breathe republican stereotypes and 2) highly aggressive and clumsy brutes who subscribe to the Bill Maher-Richard Dawkins strain of fear-mongering idiocy
in short, the Bush administration diaper people + slimy pseudo-intellectuals
@Doffy.:
Not sure if this is the right place for my question but recently my mom was harass at her medical workplace simple because of wearing hijab despite not doing anything wrong or preaching our religion views or anything . She was simply told to "fuck off" simply because of wearing hijab.
So i gotta ask ; why do people in west society find it wrong that muslim women or any women ( i don't think only muslim women wear hijab or like to cover their bodies ) like to cover their body rather than exposing it ? I mean i understand if some people didn't like religious people or views but i just don't get why is it consider wrong for women to not look like sluts or whatever .
Ok since I am blessed to live in an area where everyone around me seems to be pretty reasonable I can't speak to how true certain stereotypes are. So not sure to what kind of people, west society here refers to.
But as for me and the people around me we don't find anything wrong with anyone wanting to wear what they want. That is, if it is what they want.
What we are saddened by is that it doesn't seem that it's a choice that everyone is given. There shouldn't be bad social stigma associated with what people wear preventing them to conform to stupid ideals that are in trend right now.
And this goes both ways… that's why I also don't get you making your "slut" statement.
I mean why is it wrong for anyone to look how they want.
People as a whole have a tendency to fear and question what's foreign to them.
In their view, the hijab is an affront to their culture and religious upbringing, instead of seeing it as someone else's celebration of their culture and religious upbringing. And due to the fact they happen to be in a country where political and "intellectual" leaders promote that fear and defensiveness (for their own purposes such as commercial and political gain), then that ignorance and fear is turned into hate.
It's a cycle of stupidity that sadly keeps on going.
The guys who harassed your mom were assholes or are perpetuating a chain of assholery that can originate from a lot of places. And assholes will be assholes everywhere. They like to single out the one's that are different whether it's religiously, economically, gender or pretty much anything they can. I'm so sorry for what happened to your mom. I promise not all people in the west are assholes. It's just that assholes can really be loud and vocal about being assholes.
Ok since I am blessed to live in an area where everyone around me seems to be pretty reasonable I can't speak to how true certain stereotypes are.
But as for me and the people around me we don't find anything wrong with anyone wanting to wear what they want. That is, if it is what they want.
What we are saddened by is that it doesn't seem that it's a choice that everyone is given. There shouldn't be bad social stigma associated with what people wear preventing them to conform to stupid ideals that are in trend right now.And this goes both ways… that's why I also don't get you making your "slut" statement.
I mean why is it wrong for anyone to look how they want.
Maybe "slut" wasn't the right word i was looking for . I meant ask if it was wrong for womens to cover themselves compare to womens that don't mind it much . I mean i grew up in a place where womens chose to cover themselves up rather then what stereotype says that Muslim womens are forced to cover themselves rather than choosing it by their own free will . Even the place where i live now has lots of girls / womens that wear it by their choice and thing like this never really happened to my family or friends . So it was really weird hearing my mom told me that she was harassed the day she started wearing hijab even though she worked there for a long time and never encountered a problem as such as this when she wasn't wearing hijab .
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
The guys who harassed your mom were assholes or are perpetuating a chain of assholery that can originate from a lot of places. And assholes will be assholes everywhere. They like to single out the one's that are different whether it's religiously, economically, gender or pretty much anything they can. I'm so sorry for what happened to your mom. I promise not all people in the west are assholes. It's just that assholes can really be loud and vocal about being assholes.
Sadly my mom had to quit the job there because of that since my mom doesn't like religious conflicts . I mean my mom knew that stuff like that happened from news and stuff however it came more of a surprise/ shock to her when she was told to "fuck off" because of wearing that .
But yes i know that not everyone in west are assholes and my family have met many great people from all countries , culture , religion etc….....
Well that's just sad then, I think the hardest and most frustrating thing about things like this there is just no way to fight that. Society as a whole can at best shun senseless hate but the people that do there is no cure but them coming to an understanding themselves(which to be honest is in most cases hopeless).
I also want to add that wouldn't condone some self righteous idiot assuming everyone wearing a hijab is oppressed in some form going about needing to emancipate everyone. I mean to me that's just a different form of harassment so….