Confession session eh? Ok, my problem maybe just first world problem compared to the others here, but whatever, wall of texts inbound.
I got blessed by sixth sense(?), or to be more exact, i can see ghosts and hear them everywhere. Think i got this blessing since i was a child, but its somehow fully bloomed around a few years ago.
Its quite frightening at 1st, no what im seeing is not like what you see in the movies, although yes there is a few like that, most i see are looking perfectly normal except for a few details like their clothes style are out of time, or i see them walking right through wall giving zero fuck to it.
Once one of 'them' talk and share his life stories and since he is an old guy, well, im just nodding and smiling in return while listening to him, that is until my friend beside me bit** slap me really hard like he is curious how many degrees my neck can spin before breaking. Surely im back to earth and realize that the other people look at me like im an E.T. spy. Aka im having a convo, alone.
I'll be cool if its not too frequent, thing is, for some reason 'the voice' whispering and yelling around me becoming more and more often, i must concentrate to hear and separate anything real. 'The vision' is kinda got the population in check though. Although i still think its too damn high.
This ongoing episode of my life somehow affect me slowly but sure, i dont know, maybe other people can say 'whatever' and go on with their usual life, but i can't. Repeat that episode for a few months ahead and i have mastery in hobo disguise, i rarely take a bath, rarely can sleep, too afraid to drive any vehicles because i nearly crash due to i dont know which street-crosser have the ability to phase through my car, etc.
Brought myself to the doc, got analysed with skitzoaffective disorder or something similar to that. She gave me 3 kind of medicines, forgot each name now, but one of them is anti depressant while the other is to regulate one of my hormone IIRC.
My friends, which is varied in religion, gave me a lot of blessing and stuff, i feel that by now i've been blessed by at least 3 different major religion. I'm really thankful for what they did from the bottom of my heart, seriously. Also i think at that point i know which of my best friends that i can believe on and which one of them will leave me when the going get tough. Separating the wheat from the chaff.
The medicine from the doc is working miracle for some reason, although it also makes me gain fat as the side effect. I gain 30 pounds in a few months i take the meds, quite a record for someone like me who usually got stable body weight even if i eat a full shark twice a week. (Exaggerate amount ofc)
The meds are quite expensive,, so while its good for me, my wallet and bank account are screaming continuously. I finally decide to end the medication one day,, until this day. The sightseeing and hearing stuff creep back to me slowly, but yah, except for my most stressed day, i can bear with them while keeping the positive attitude in me.
Maybe you'll see me in a tv show in the future, ghostbuster style, who knows.
The point of all that? Idk i just feel like venting it,, maybe because i feel alone, i dont want to be a trouble to the people closest to me, not to mention i feel like they dont know how to solve this. It kinda disturbing me for a few days right now. Feel paranoid.
And if someone here later saying that its all just a small problem, in an insulting way, then by all means feel free to take it to yourself. I wanna see you do normal life with that for 6 months at least.
The end.
Thank you, if you are reading my tantrum, or not, still thank you.
Peace be with you.