Just wanna ask some of your opinions on when do you see your relationship hitting rock bottom and why do you think its the end? Isn't there a way to save it? Or is goodbye the best solution?
How would you know when your relationship is over!???
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it depends on the situation really… if neither person wants to work it out, then its just best to call it quits and move on... but if they're willing to work it out, a relationship can still be saved. It just takes effort on both sides
*** PlasticStar5 Instagram***
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when she says go to hell i dont ever want to see you again.
_ Originally Posted by mr.allsunday
Nice job jumping on the bandwagon there Aethos, I can only wish I was as cool as you_
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ask jackvance! XD he's an expert of relationships.
is it a random question or are you actually in a bad moment in your relationship?
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Its both actually…
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This is from personal life but if you move away to college without telling them or not calling them for over 6 months the relationship might be over. (man I'm a real b*tch :P)
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Heh.. I'm far from an expert in relationships.. seduction is my main strength lol.. the rest needs some work
But about the question.. this is really vague.. there are a lot of things you can do or pointers to look at, depending on the situation.. but here is a general answer:
First of all, the fact that you think/feel it might be over.. is a big sign that it might be. But what to do? Read on!
Tell her you think it's not working and that the both of you should take a break. And then you need something to put a little pressure on her.. to see if she misses you or not. If she doesn't, the relationship was doomed anyway. If she does miss you, some time apart from you will make her realize how much she appreciated you and she'll come back to you.
A girl told me she went back to her ex after she dumped him because.. quite frankly.. she couldn't stand to think that he would be with another girl and not her.
Now, something to put pressure on her is sometimes necessary to force her to make up her mind quickly. If she thinks you might be with another girl, that'll force her to make her move - if she cares about you, that is. If it doesn't entice her to do anything.. you'll know she doesn't care about you anymore. Then you can move on.
I don't know if you have any other girls lined up? Probably not. There's no need to jump in bed with another gal (in fact, better not), just give your (ex-)gf something to worry about. If possible, go out for drinks with another girl. Or at the very least, go out partying with your buddies.
Here's something that happened about a month and a half ago to illustrate this point: I suddenly got a call from a friend I hadn't heard about in a while. He wanted to come over to party the week after. So I was like, sure, cool. He said he had broken up with his gf and he wanted to let loose and have some fun, so I said, sure, we'll scoop up some girls then.
When the time came, he didn't show up and I didn't hear from him. He called me some time later.. turned out his gf got word about him coming over and going out partying with me.. so she freaked out and they made up and she demanded he stayed with her that night.. they're all peachy now again and it's going better than ever according to him now.
(makes me kinda wonder about my reputation with his gf.. but whatever lol..)Well, that's about all I can say from such a general question.. if you want better advice, maybe some details about the situation can help.
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Your restraining order says "no", but your lips say "yes"… XD
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Arlong Park is really the wrong place to ask this question.
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Arlong Park is really the wrong place to ask this question.
jackvance lurks here, so it's not really the wrong place. we have an expert. XD
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Arlong Park is really the wrong place to ask this question.
Jackvance the wise says…
@jackvance:Heh.. I'm far from an expert in relationships.. seduction is my main strength lol.. the rest needs some work
But about the question.. this is really vague.. there are a lot of things you can do or pointers to look at, depending on the situation.. but here is a general answer:
First of all, the fact that you think/feel it might be over.. is a big sign that it might be. But what to do? Read on!
Tell her you think it's not working and that the both of you should take a break. And then you need something to put a little pressure on her.. to see if she misses you or not. If she doesn't, the relationship was doomed anyway. If she does miss you, some time apart from you will make her realize how much she appreciated you and she'll come back to you.
A girl told me she went back to her ex after she dumped him because.. quite frankly.. she couldn't stand to think that he would be with another girl and not her.
Now, something to put pressure on her is sometimes necessary to force her to make up her mind quickly. If she thinks you might be with another girl, that'll force her to make her move - if she cares about you, that is. If it doesn't entice her to do anything.. you'll know she doesn't care about you anymore. Then you can move on.
I don't know if you have any other girls lined up? Probably not. There's no need to jump in bed with another gal (in fact, better not), just give your (ex-)gf something to worry about. If possible, go out for drinks with another girl. Or at the very least, go out partying with your buddies.
Here's something that happened about a month and a half ago to illustrate this point: I suddenly got a call from a friend I hadn't heard about in a while. He wanted to come over to party the week after. So I was like, sure, cool. He said he had broken up with his gf and he wanted to let loose and have some fun, so I said, sure, we'll scoop up some girls then.
When the time came, he didn't show up and I didn't hear from him. He called me some time later.. turned out his gf got word about him coming over and going out partying with me.. so she freaked out and they made up and she demanded he stayed with her that night.. they're all peachy now again and it's going better than ever according to him now.
(makes me kinda wonder about my reputation with his gf.. but whatever lol..)Well, that's about all I can say from such a general question.. if you want better advice, maybe some details about the situation can help.
Jackvance the wise has given his almighty knowledge right here, just so you know.
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I know all to well, when a relationship is at an end..which doesn't make me look to good
Best ways to spot the end of a relationship usually comes from when your talking to your partner.
If, when you meet up with them and it is just a casual hello that you aren't comfortable with then that's an obvious sign.
Another key point is if you struggle for this to talk about with your partner. In a relationship that goes well you should be able to feel free to talk about what you feel like because your partner is interested in hearing about YOU and not the things you say. This works vice versa, if your listening t your partner and you'd rather be looking around or trying to find something else to distract you then it's clear that it won't end much.
(NOTE: don't think that you are able to just talk about whatever you want, how often you want because it won't go down well. If you didn't realise that without me telling you, then you either haven't had a gf/bf before or your an idiot).
Obviously it isn't always going to be to talking with your partner that shows all the signs, usally it happens when they aren't around. If your out with friends and you find yourself making one to many jokes at your partner's expense, then I highly doubt you treasure your relationship with that person.
Another point could be if you stop looking forward to seeing your partner, if it becomes justa routine part of your life and you don't see it as something that makes your day then it probably means you don't believe the relationship is any good.Unless your partner has never been in a relationship before and they become completly inflatuated with you, even if you cheat on them or forget important dtaes on purpose, (believe me I've seen it happen) the above points are good signs that the relationship is coming to an end.
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@Bad-Beat:
(NOTE: don't think that you are able to just talk about whatever you want, how often you want because it won't go down well. If you didn't realise that without me telling you, then you either haven't had a gf/bf before or your an idiot.
Ahh I'm such an idiot! I figure if you keep talking about stuff then everything is fine and dandy!
Well shoot, I think I can say that a relationship is over when there is a lack of communication, and both of you get really pissy about every little thing you have to say. Also I believe that it was doomed from the start when your partner starts making excuses to not be together. Like for example you call her up one day and her sister says that she's at the post office doing homework. (this actually happened to me)
Ugh I keep choosing the worse women to be with, oh yeah and I can't forget the time when she said "this Canadian asked me to merry him so I don't think we can be together". XD
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@Bad-Beat:
(NOTE: don't think that you are able to just talk about whatever you want, how often you want because it won't go down well.
I remember once, in my very naieve youth, thinking "ok now she's being irrational, so I'll just point it out to her and then she has to admit it because it's objectively true!" Right.. yeah.. not my best idea.
My take on this is: Women don't rationalize their emotions as much as men do.. so whatever they're feeling, it'll be more of an "absolute truth" to them, whether it's rational or not.
Another point is that women communicate vastly different from guys.. while with guys you can just kinda crack some jokes and be a bit macho and talk about nonsense.. a woman will look a lot more at how you feel about her personally. This is true in general, but for obvious reasons a lot more the case if she has a thing for you. Then she'll pick up on very small "cues" as to how your sentiments are towards her.
What this means is.. if she is under the impression that she is special for you, then yeah.. you can say whatever you want and it's fine. And that thing you did she didn't really like.. well, it wasn't so bad.
However, if you do things that make her doubt that she is indeed special for you.. then trouble begins.. Suddenly, everything you say gets a lot of resistance. And that little thing you did.. well turns out it was TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE after all!
So yeah.. it's generally in your best interest to make your girl feel special. Even if she isn't really that special for you.. it'll make your life easier. (ofcourse, if she isn't special to you, then what are you doing with her?.. better look for someone who is)
Now, this doesn't mean you have to buy her flowers and what not, although external things can help, but it's mostly the subtle things that women look at.For example, say she is mad at you for something blunt you said.. and you don't give a shit.. to the woman, this means you don't care about her feelings, and hence you don't care about her. So better show some remorse in that case (even if it's just 10 seconds), so she can see you care.
And if you wonder how those carefree jerks get away with being, well, jerks to women? Well, to do that you have to give the woman the impression that all the 'bad things' are in fact HER fault! Not gonna get into this because I won't really advise anyone to be a jerk to women.. it won't be a fun relationship anyway.
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jackvance, i comemorate you on on helping out your fellow man. I hope you don't mind if I refer to your first post. About presuring people. I know it worked for your friend, but in general, I don't think it's a good decision to pressure someone into making a decision. Let them make their decision of their own will. If they truley love you, time will tell.
I was devistated when my bf broke up with me, and desperate as I was, I kept pressuring him to take me back, and all my pestering made him run away even faster. (not that he would have come back anyways) ya, love can make you stupid some times.
Messiah go and talk with the lady. I had a friend who was loosing confidence in her relationship. She talked it over with her bf, and found out it was all in her head. Wether it is over or not, it is better to know now, other than later. It may hurt, a lot, but you'llget over it. Just come and wail to us. We're willing to listen.
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No more bing-bang-boom
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I was devistated when my bf broke up with me, and desperate as I was, I kept pressuring him to take me back, and all my pestering made him run away even faster. (not that he would have come back anyways) ya, love can make you stupid some times.
I hope you don't mind me replying to this instead of Jackyboy, but I think what he's talking about is when your starting the relationship. To kind of get things to move forward a little bit. That's what he means by pressuring. I found that this is to be true, I mean some women can be very fickle sometimes. And just can't make up their mind's. You gotta be assertive.
But I can relate to your break up, I wanted to soo badly have my ex take me back. And because of that stupidity, I ended up going out with her like 5 times always resulting in the same end. Its like we don't understand how things begin and how things end. So it takes someone to be assertive and say "this is bad, I don't want this", or "This might be something I like, so I want to stick with this".
I hope this all makes sense, cuz its like 3 in the morning and I haven't had any sleep since Wednesday.
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@e1n:
jackvance lurks here, so it's not really the wrong place. we have an expert. XD
I like the way you refer to him as "lurking" here. XD
I'd say it was when you no longer got a buzz out of being with them, or talking to them.
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lol silpheed, go to bed. (3 days, are you taking animation in school or something)
I guess it didn't help me, that my ex didn't know what he wanted, and continued to flirt, even after he broke up with me.Anywho, I understand what you are saying, you want comitment, you don't want us girls to piddle around and be indecisive. I still feel uncomfortable with the whole pressure/manipulate thing. If I knew someone were doing that to me to convince me to comit to them, it would probably backfire, and I'd back away out of spite. I think it is better to sit down and have a talk about goals, and what you are looking for in a relationship. To treat eachother as intelegent human beings. That's what a good relationship is all about. Being able to talk things out rationally.
Anyways, your entitled to your opinion, I just felt the need to state why I'm uncomfortable about said tactic. I'm not sure if I acomplished that, or if I am just mindlessly rambling.
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lol silpheed, go to bed. (3 days, are you taking animation in school or something)
I guess it didn't help me, that my ex didn't know what he wanted, and continued to flirt, even after he broke up with me.Anywho, I understand what you are saying, you want comitment, you don't want us girls to piddle around and be indecisive. I still feel uncomfortable with the whole pressure/manipulate thing. If I knew someone were doing that to me to convince me to comit to them, it would probably backfire, and I'd back away out of spite. I think it is better to sit down and have a talk about goals, and what you are looking for in a relationship. To treat eachother as intelegent human beings. That's what a good relationship is all about. Being able to talk things out rationally.
Anyways, your entitled to your opinion, I just felt the need to state why I'm uncomfortable about said tactic. I'm not sure if I acomplished that, or if I am just mindlessly rambling.
lol maybe I phrased it wrong, I ment like when you want to start a relationship… or ask the girl out. I don't mean you have to be the little puppet master in a relationship, because a relationship is about trust after all. I guess what I'm trying to say is that when you like someone... ahh screw it. I think I'm just going to shut up and let Jack speak.
edit- oh yeah and I got some sleep, so no more post about bashing women in relationships.
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OOOH, I GET IT NOW! I thought you were talking about manipulating your girlfriend when you want to get serios. Your just talking about some girl your interested in dating. Ah, I'm sorry. puts paper bag over head, over stupidity Well in that case "all's fair in love and war"
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OOOH, I GET IT NOW! I thought you were talking about manipulating your girlfriend when you want to get serios. Your just talking about some girl your interested in dating. Ah, I'm sorry. puts paper bag over head, over stupidity Well in that case "all's fair in love and war"
I can see someone who's in a relationship pushing their loved one out in the middle of traffic saying "don't come back until you love me". XD
Yeah I was tired that night, so I didn't know if that made any sense.
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jackvance, i comemorate you on on helping out your fellow man. I hope you don't mind if I refer to your first post. About presuring people. I know it worked for your friend, but in general, I don't think it's a good decision to pressure someone into making a decision. Let them make their decision of their own will. If they truley love you, time will tell.
I was devistated when my bf broke up with me, and desperate as I was, I kept pressuring him to take me back, and all my pestering made him run away even faster. (not that he would have come back anyways) ya, love can make you stupid some times.
I think you kinda misunderstood. Pestering them is not what I am talking about here. Obviously, if you try to throw it in their face that you "are moving on" or "have other options".. more often than not, it's gonna come off desperate, and as such have the opposite effect. (I've seen this so many times already..)
What I am talking about is that you truly show all the steps of moving on.. even make them doubt a little bit whether or not they could still have you back. And don't throw it in their face - on the contrary, be more secretive about it than anything. They'll probably find out what you are doing, one way or the other. (unless ofcourse, they really don't care anymore, in which case it's over anyway)
Messiah go and talk with the lady. I had a friend who was loosing confidence in her relationship. She talked it over with her bf, and found out it was all in her head. Wether it is over or not, it is better to know now, other than later. It may hurt, a lot, but you'llget over it. Just come and wail to us. We're willing to listen.
Exceptions don't make the rule.
Anyway, the way I phrased my advice was meant for guys. Obviously it's gonna meet some resistance when read by girls. Now I'll give the exact same advice again, but I'll put it in female terms. I think you can find peace with this a lot more:
Talk to your partner and tell them that you think it's not working out. If they don't disagree, then tell them you want to take a break from the relationship.
And then go on with your life. Don't hop in bed with the first willing person you meet, but simply don't sit in your room moping or bugging your ex out of desperation. Simply going to places where you can meet new people is a good start.
If your (ex-)partner really has feelings for you, they will realize that they truly miss you and when both of you end up together again, the relationship will be that much stronger! Because sometimes you have to lose something to realize what you had.There.. how's that?
