I wonder if anyone here struggles with borderline personality disorder. A lot of times I get into moods where I feel like everyone hates me and I will be alone forever without friends. I also been having trouble with conflict resolution, especially in terms of people having a different viewpoint or opinion than me. I'm lucky that during this pandemic my therapy decided to do Zoom sessions, so that's been helpful indeed. It's nice to see someone compared to just hearing their voice.
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
It feels really good to see someone else say that, because I've spent my life fighting pointed accusations of laziness while slowly figuring out and trying to explain that I'm not lazy, I'm just exhausted and have a lot of trouble functioning when anxiety or PTSD symptoms get set off.
I have a horribly abusive helicopter mother who both insists on trying to walk in and take over my life on a whim because she doesn't trust me to do anything and tends to end up unintentionally (or maybe intentionally) sabotaging whatever it is she's trying to "do right", leaving me with a wreck of a problem worse than when I started, a total lack of motivation to do the thing that she's now poisoned, and inevitably someone I've let down other than myself who doesn't believe me when I complain about my mother because she's already gone behind my back and told him/her that I'm lazy and cruel and blame everything on everyone else.
Yeah, that sounds a bit like my mother, who was very controlling, looked down on me, and saw me as a failure. She also did everything for me, which wrecked me when I got older, as I didn't know how to be independent. I still have these issues, but improved a bit. For my PTSD I have been working with EMDR, but right now that's on hiatus due to the pandemic, but the therapist checks on me every week which is nice.
I hope eventually you be healed from these wounds. It sucks when the very people who supposed to take care of us turn against us. I also had the issue with people not believing me about my mother problem, specifically with other members of my family, so I feel ya there. I am free from my family as well, I'm lucky I moved out and escaped this hell. I'm glad you were able to escape and now be free from the emotional abuse.