Ubisoft at war with Somethingawful.com

[GaryPotter]

This is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen.

Apparently Ubisoft sent a cease-and-desist order to SA.com in response to a pornographic picture on the site. The picture showed a bunch of geeks buying Assassin's Creed in order to get a blow job from Jade Raymond. It's obviously making fun of the fact that Ubisoft has played every angle of Jade's good looks in order to sell their game.

Now, It's Ubisoft's own fault for having this happen. As far as they're concerned, Jade is a product, not a real person. They constantly trot her out to promote the game, and now they're whining like a little bitch because someone made fun of it?

Fuck Ubisoft.

[Sandai Mera]

Or it could've been the fact that she was going to be responsible for the creation of a hit game, I don't know for sure.

[Tsukento]

What's funny is that SA didn't make the comic. Guy who makes the Chugworthy Academy comics did it. He even has it on his DeviantArt.

[Greg]

Um, she's the most plain person I've ever seen.

And for the record….Jade?

Jade??????!!!!!!

You better be Asian or a ridiculously hot porn star to carry an otherwise stupid name like that.

[myogatheflea]

It makes perfect sense for them to send a cease-and-desist actually. If Ubisoft felt threatened that SA was hurting them or their product, then sending that out couldn't make any more sense.

It is still kind of ridiculous though.

[Tsuchirinhon]

She is, you know, the producer of the Assassin's Creed. It's not so far fetched to believe that she'd make appearances to promote it.

[FireFistAce 0]

@Greg:

Um, she's the most plain person I've ever seen.

And for the record….Jade?

Jade??????!!!!!!

You better be Asian or a ridiculously hot porn star to carry an otherwise stupid name like that.

Just for the record, Mick Jagger's daughter is Jade Jagger. Retarded name, I know, but apparently she's big in the fashion industry.

And I have two things to say on the topic:

1. Jade Raymond is busted.

2. Ubisoft is taking the internet way too seriously. It's the internet. It's like Cap'n Carter: to be taken with a grain of salt and a spoonful of sugar.

[Zeether]

This reminds me of the time Sega sued YTMND for their "Sonic gives advice" sites.

[Cap'n Carter]

I'm pretty sure that was just Sega of Europe or some other lame, irrelevant subbranch that no one cares about

[tony-kun]

I think this says more about them than Ubisoft.

They assume that because an attractive(I guess) woman is a producer, it's only to use sex appeal to sell a game, or she slept her way to the top.

Since she didn't show up to interviews in a thong and topless, I don't think that they were aiming for sex appeal by making her producer.

Not that I think Ubi's actions are justified, but the comic is pretty retarded in the first place. You can't really be faulted because nerds masturbate to you talking about a game.

[King Kobra]

Erhmm..

What's with the hype surrounding this Jade Raymond? I mean, a simple search of google sent me to a forum where a bunch of fellows were excited over the fact of her appearing in the cover of a magazine (In Bikini, duh)….

She's pretty, but geeze....

[Captain Kuro]

Yeah it was Sega of Europe (about the Sonic thing).

[Kaze]

Alright basically, it's like this. Sega Europe = Fail

Jade is "alright I guess but I'd never masterbate to her" Kind of hot.

And, Just as tony-kun said.

[King Kobra]

http://www.vh1gamebreak.com/2007/11/jade-raymond-in.html

That article pretty much sums my toughts about the hype of Jade Raymond…

Personally, I just find her cute, for lack of better words, and probably the kind of women that I would only fantasize with if I knew her better. :S

Anyways, what is exactly her job in the production of that Assasins Creed game?

[Aldrich]

The comic is incredibly unfunny and tasteless, like a lot of shit from Something Awful, but Ubisoft trying to sue them is ridiculous and more importantly extremely counterproductive.

What's hilarious though is Lowtax's reply to Ubi's lawyer:

Somethingawful reply
From: Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (webmaster@somethingawful.com)
Sent: Thursday, November 15, 2007 9:06 PM
To: 'Anderson, David'
Cc: A BUNCH OF FRENCHIES
Subject: RE: NOTICE: Infringement of ASSASSIN'S CREED Mark and Jade Raymond's Personal, Privacy, and Publicity Rights

Please let it be known that hereforth I have read the express mail and email sent thereforth by Famous Lawyer David Anderson of the Famous Lawyer Law Business of Nixon Peabody LLP, and furthermore a declaration shall be expressed on the part of Internet User Rich “Lowtax” Kyanka that thatforth herethrough I have conducted rigorous tests implemented through a vigorous barrage of legal studies, and furthermore hitherthrough these rigorous tests have therefore proven Famous Lawyer David Anderson of the Famous Lawyer Law Business of Nixon Peabody LLP shall be recognized as a man of the fag persuasion.

Pursuant to the United Dairy Council

Rich “Lowtax” Kyanka
Internet

[Cap'n Carter]

Yeah, Lowtax's responses to CEASE AND DESIST e-mails are typically solid gold

I didn't see the comic, but I looked about JADE whatsherface and she's pretty goddamn plain

I guess she has the same "OMFG A REAL GIRL AFFILIATED WITH VIDYA GAMES HUFF HUFF" appeal as that monstrosity Morgan Webb

[Aldrich]

I think she looks good, but the online following she got is nothing short of embarassing.

[Taleran]

I wonder if this would have happened had Assassin's Creed not been a great game?

[Zephos]

@myogatheflea:

It makes perfect sense for them to send a cease-and-desist actually. If Ubisoft felt threatened that SA was hurting them or their product, then sending that out couldn't make any more sense.

Threatning legal action over someone making fun of you over the internet in a non-official non-slander manner, and aiming it at a forum where the image was posted once rather than the creator and his site, is supremely utterly retarded.

I could essentially post the image here on the humor thread in spoilers (aka. mod approved fashion of such material) and would be doing exactly what the SomethingAwful forum member did. Technically making me equal in crime to what Somethingawful did. Exactly equal actually. And Ubisoft could come and sue Arlong Park.

Your saying that makes sense.

[Cap'n Carter]

@Aldrich:

I think she looks good, but the online following she got is nothing short of embarassing.

Yeah she's pretty but it doesn't warrant this hideous amount of mobbing over anything in her image

[Greg]

but I looked about JADE whatsherface and she's pretty goddamn plain

Agreed. What's the deal? Did they actually try to sell her image? I saw her in a Youtube video and I actually thought she was not just plain, but ugly. Not to badmouth her or anything but who actually attempted her to make her a symbol? I mean I never even heard about her before this ordeal so is it something the fans created themselves?

It's not like we accuse Miyamoto of abusing his sexilicious ass when he appears in Mario videos.