Is that a giant penis?
Arlong Park Humor Thread.
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Is that a giant penis?
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I finished a new masterpiece comic.
! http://i2.tinypic.com/6lw7k43.jpg
http://i13.tinypic.com/7203nma.jpg
http://i4.tinypic.com/818n2ap.jpg
http://i2.tinypic.com/86fkd39.jpg
http://i11.tinypic.com/7ygtjxy.jpgThat is so lame.
BUT WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD? :blink:
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"ISN'T IT CUTE? … BUT IT'S WRRRROOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!"
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Oh dear friends time to go on a Journey first let me introduce you to our star
oh such interesting start
sadly it was not to be
he begins his plan, to trap the titans using such tactics as
Campus Nazis
and random Brawls
he then lures the titans into his lair where he conks them with Reverse Gravity and ties them up, sadly though this is where he decides to reveal his villain identity
I give you…....(no joke)........PUNCH!
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yes a Costume so bad it makes the guy who shortly after glass jaws him seem badass
THE END
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I think my brain just exploded.
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Good old fashioned family racism
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I can't believe i missed this! if I was able to, i would post my 110-page humor filr in my computer!…but I cant, so I will just put on a few examples...
! I love animals, they taste great.
! EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
! "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
! Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
! The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
! Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
! He who laughs last thinks slowest!
! Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
! A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
! Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Stuff to ponder
! Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.
! How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest,
but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
I
f it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did MRS. HOWELL have so many clothes.
! Why is it called a HAMBURGER, when it's made out of BEEF?
! Why does SOUR CREAM have an Expiration date?
! What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?
! If "Con" is the Opposite of "Pro"….then what is the opposite of PROGRESS?
! Why is LEMON JUICE mostly artificial ingredients….
but DISH WASHING LIQUID comtains real lemons?
! How much deeper would the ocean be, if SPONGES didn't grow in it?
! Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
! Why do we wait until a PIG is dead, to "CURE" it?
! Why do we wash BATH TOWELS-aren't we clean when we use them?
! Why do we put SUITS in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?
! Why doesn't GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle?
! Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
! Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
! What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?
! If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
! If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?
! Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow,
only to be troubled and insecure?
! What's another word for synonym?
! Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
! When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
! When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
! Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
! Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
! Why do they report power outages on TV?
! What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
! Is it possible to be totally partial?
! If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
! Would a fly that loses its wings be called a walk?
! Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
! If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
! If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
! If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
! If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?
! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
! Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
! If the cop arrests a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
! Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
! If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
! hehehe…
! Once there was this family that was going to Disneyland
and they came to a sign that said: Disneyland LEFT so they went home.
! When a three-year-old opened a birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol.
He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.
His Mother was not so pleased. She turned to Grandmom and said, "I'm surprised at you.
Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Grandmom smiled and then replied, "I remember."
! There was this guy watching T.V., and he heard a knock at the door,
so he got up to get it, and when he opened the door,
all he saw was a snail, so he picked it up and threw it as far as he could,
and three years later he was watching T.V., and someone knocked at the door,
so he got up to get it, and there the snail was, and the snail looked up at the guy and said,
"What in the heck was that for?"
! This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did.
Somebody got angry about this, because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anbody could have done!
! There was this guy in his car who had ten peguins in the back seat, and a cop came up to him and said "It's illigal to have those penguins, you need to take them to the zoo." So he did! The next day the cop saw the man again with the same penguins in the back seat except they had sunglasses and towels. The cop said "Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo" and the guy said "I did, today I'm taking them to the beach!"
! Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath. "You scared us half to death – we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
! Occupations
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
! An actuary is someone who brings a bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
! An archaeologist is a person who's career lies in ruins.
! An architect is someone who makes beautiful models, but unaffordable realities.
! An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
! A banker is a person who lends you an umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
! A chemical engineer is doing for a profit what an organic chemist only does for fun.
! A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
! A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
! An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things they predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
! An editor is a person employed on a newspaper whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.
! A journalist is someone who spends 50% of the time not saying what they know and the other 50% of the time talking about things they don't know.
! A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief".
! A mathematician is a blind person in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
! A modern artist is someone who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.
! A philosopher is a person who doesn't have a job but at least understands why.
! A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.
! A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
! A psychologist is a person whom you pay a lot of money to ask you questions that your spouse asks free of charge.
! A schoolteacher is a disillusioned person who used to think they liked children.
! A sociologist is someone who, when a beautiful women enters the room and everybody looks at her, looks at everybody.
! A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
! A topologist is a person who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
! Alternative Meanings- Coffee (n), a person who is coughed upon.
- Flabbergasted (adj), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
- Abdicate (v), to give up hope of ever having a flat stomach.
- Esplanade (v), to attempt an explanation when drunk..
- Willy-nilly (adj), impotent.
- Negligent (adj), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
- Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.
- Gargoyle (n), an olive flavoured mouthwash.
- Flatulence (n), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
- Balderdash (n), a rapidly receding hairline.
- Rectitude (n), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
- Oyster (n), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
- Circumvent (n), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
- Frisbeetarianism (n), the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
- Pokemon (n), a Jamaican proctologist
! Units of Measurement
2,000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
! Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
! Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
! 1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz
! Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
! 1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
! 2,000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds
! 52 cards: 1 decacards
! 3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
! 1 millionth mouthwash = 1 microscope
! Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = Mach Turtle
! Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = knot-furlong
! 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year
! 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling
! 1/2 large intestine = 1 semicolon
! Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line
! 1/2 bath = 1 demijohn
! 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
! Given the old adage "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," the first step of a one-mile journey = 1 Milwaukee
! 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
! 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
! 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 Liter Hosen
! 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
! 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
! 1 million billion piccolos = 1 gigolo
! 10 rations = 1 decoration
! 100 rations = 1 C-ration
! 10 millipedes = 1 centipede
! 3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
! 10 monologs = 5 dialogues
! 5 dialogues = 1 Decalogue
! 2 monograms = 1 diagram
! 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
! 2 wharves = 1 paradox
! 100 Senators = not 1 decision
! Funny answering machine messages
· Me no here. Me go bye. Leave me message. Me reply.
· "Suicide Hotline…please hold."
· Hellooo….Hellloooo, well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.
· Alpha Centauri Space Station. Commander Marlin can't come to the phone right now. He's either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Leave your name and number after the beep and he will return your call.
· (With loud music playing in the background) "Hello… HELLO?? I can't hear you! What? Oh.. we're not home, leave a message.
· Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.
· Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
· "Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
· We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.
· Hello, this is Susan. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back – only that I won't. -
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Classic MST3K ep here. Pod People.
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HannibalLuffy
Welcome to my ignore list. -
it is the stuff of hellfire and suffering
SANCTUMS IGNORE LIST
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tis be a blessing to my noble eyes
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hahaha, Sanctum…Hey, whatever happened to that mind fight?
How Smart Is Your Right Foot?
This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And, you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!!!
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand … Your foot will change direction!!!
I told you so ... And there is nothing you can do about it. Make sure you pass this on to your friends ... They won't be able to believe it either!!!
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….......oh my...
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HannibalLuffy's idea of a good time is to read the inbox of his ISP email account.
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@Cyringohn:
Kenpachi isn't "ugly" by any means. He may not be some beautiful J-pop singer, but he still has that smooth Kubo Tite face that almost everybody in Bleach has. That, and plenty female friends think Kenpachi is "cute" and shit. The only "ugly" things in Bleach are some of the monstrous Hollows. Just about everything else is aesthetically appealing, one way or another.
Am talking about straight up ugly sons of bitches, like Odz, Gecko Moria, Foxxy, Kuromarimo, Chess, Wapol, Fukurou, Kokoro, etc. One Piece is full of characters like that, and a good portion of people hate that kind of crap.
16 Milky Way Galaxys
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This post is deleted!
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Smash fucking bros.
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That sounds about as bad as Tommy Tallarico's review where he gave it a 2/10.
Oh shit guys we're approaching page 100. BRACE FOR IMPACT
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Video by some of my classmates.
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I think he is a language terrorist
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Two reasons to stop playing WoW.
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Two reasons to stop playing WoW.
Good thing I don't play it. My God, that last one made me ashamed to have the first name of James.:getlost:
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My friend and I died laughing when the dad said "MANHANDLING ME!!"
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Ha ha oh god. They were funny in their own right, but I about lost it at (goofy time?). Ha ha ha.
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that was damn incredible
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Needs more pics.
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This post is deleted!
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kwql6_RJ348
Two reasons to stop playing WoW.
Haha, I love the Onyxia wipe video. They even have a shirt for that one now.
http://www.jinx.com/men/shirts/video_games/more_dots.html?&cid=0&catid=83&ps=20&fp=4The moral of both those videos is that some people really should not ever touch WoW.
And by some I mean all.
(I play WoW :P) -
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Stumbled to this while streaming around /b/
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haha i actually really like tay zondays vidya, then again i just kind of like how hes this huge sensation because of /b/
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kwql6_RJ348
Two reasons to stop playing WoW.
My goodness I started having flash backs of my Everquest days, luckly for us though there was no ventrillo or TS at the time it was all typing.
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Im Goin To Bed Now So I Can Get Up At 6 Am
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http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/cosbyrap
In other news, poster after next starts page 100.
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Page 100 folks.
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If that second one were in Guitar Hero…
EDIT: HmxIv1XZcQs
40 Minutes ago, this came into existance.
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Prepare for the most annoying actress in movie history.
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! http://zanyvgquotes.com/dividead/divid-insult2.jpg
! http://zanyvgquotes.com/dividead/divid-insane.jpgIt just says no outside linking of images.
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Shows up on mine…
EDIT: Replaced with an image from Macrochan.
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the returns of helmsdeep48
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!