Smudge, if its only vibes, you ought to make sure its not just you projecting your own feelings onto them before you run off thinking this person is actually judging you.
Confession Session - LOCK THIS THREAD
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So I never really notice that this day of the year ever happens, but when I do notice it, I just feel empty and pathetic all day.
And it's not even my fault.
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I'm quite a guarded person about some of my past and life. And when I finally say something to someone that promises me they won't be judgmental, all I get is vibes of judgement and a wall between us.
I feel shitty…
You completly and utterly missunderstood the point. Come back online.
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Is it possible for a person to have too much empathy and sympathy for other people, and the struggles other people go through?
For instance: Sometimes, when I have a minor negative (possibly violent) thought about someone (even an animal), I start getting anxious and start to feel physically ill somewhat (because I think it's horrible)? Or, I think I'm somewhat of a bad person if I forget to say "Goodbye!" and "Keep safe!" to my friends–even to my classmates, who, are mere acquaintances--when I sign offline for the night? I also hate letting people down, and I love to get people excited; so I tell little white lies from time-to-time to do so. I hold open doors, pick up things for, help walkthrough etc. etc. people that, sometimes, don't even really need it; if I don't...I think to myself "Dang! I should've helped that man/woman/child! How could I not!?"
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@The:
Is it possible for a person to have too much empathy and sympathy for other people, and the struggles other people go through?
For instance: Sometimes, when I have a minor negative (possibly violent) thought about someone (even an animal), I start getting anxious and start to feel physically ill somewhat (because I think it's horrible)? Or, I think I'm somewhat of a bad person if I forget to say "Goodbye!" and "Keep safe!" to my friends–even to my classmates, who, are mere acquaintances--when I sign offline for the night? I also hate letting people down, and I love to get people excited; so I tell little white lies from time-to-time to do so.
I guess. I kind of know what that feels like. I get so guilty about a lot of things pretty easily. Then I either flop down without moving for hours or cry. I sometimes worry that I might not see a person ever again when they leave somewhere, and I feel bad about not saying anything.
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I know how that feels too. Once I forgot to tip a pizza guy and I felt so, incredibly, horribly guitly. I think I even started to tear up a little. My mom and I even called the pizza place so that the guy would get the five dollars (I'm not kidding) that I forgot to tip him. :I
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I guess. I kind of know what that feels like. I get so guilty about a lot of things pretty easily. Then I either flop down without moving for hours or cry. I sometimes worry that I might not see a person ever again when they leave somewhere, and I feel bad about not saying anything.
Well…I'm not this bad, but, yeah.
I personally don't think there's anything wrong with it, as long as it doesn't cripple you and destroy your life. But...then again...crazy people don't think they're crazy; maybe that applies to me. =P
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@The:
Is it possible for a person to have too much empathy and sympathy for other people, and the struggles other people go through?
…Or, I think I'm somewhat of a bad person if I forget to say "Goodbye!" and "Keep safe!" to my friends--even to my classmates, who, are mere acquaintances--when I sign offline for the night? I also hate letting people down, and I love to get people excited; so I tell little white lies from time-to-time to do so. I hold open doors, pick up things for, help walkthrough etc. etc. people that, sometimes, don't even really need it; if I don't...I think to myself "Dang! I should've helped that man/woman/child! How could I not!?"
I suffered from this for most of my life, only beginning to "get over it" in college. It's definitely possible to be "too" empathetic when it gets to the point where you're running yourself ragged from guilt and self-consciousness. I used to do things like: worry that I was upsetting people by blocking traffic while trying to parallel park on a one-lane street (so I would just say fuck it and drive on in order to find a spot that wouldn't inconvenience others so much); arrive to meetups 10 minutes early, not because I like getting places early, but because making someone else wait on my behalf was my worst nightmare; accept invitations to things that I didn't really care about and didn't have time for, so as not to offend.
The first trick is to realize that, cynical as it is, most people don't care about you or what you're doing nearly as much as you think. The empathy-induced guilt is to a large extent the result of thinking that the world revolves around you. This doesn't necessarily mean that you're an arrogant bastard, but reflects more of a misunderstanding of people's priorities. 99 times out of 100, the friend you forgot to say "Keep safe!" to won't pay it a second thought. The second thing to keep reminding yourself of is that your needs are not by nature any less valuable than those of others (at least not in Western society… but I'm not about to start one of my Japan rants here). Those people behind me when I was parallel parking?- why should the fact that they're trying to get somewhere be more important than the fact that I'm trying to get somewhere? Moreover, they don't know who I am and odds are that I will never interact with them again in any capacity. Same goes for the people for whom you hold doors open/pick things up/etc. This is not to say that there's no value in being a kind, helpful person. Just that you have no moral obligation to do these things, at least to the point that missing a beat every once in a while should definitely not cause you to lose sleep. Take solace in the times that you _do_ remember to help.
I'm not sure if what I've said addresses your problem, exactly, but I feel like I know where you're coming from to some extent, anyway.
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@The:
Is it possible for a person to have too much empathy and sympathy for other people, and the struggles other people go through?
For instance: Sometimes, when I have a minor negative (possibly violent) thought about someone (even an animal), I start getting anxious and start to feel physically ill somewhat (because I think it's horrible)? Or, I think I'm somewhat of a bad person if I forget to say "Goodbye!" and "Keep safe!" to my friends–even to my classmates, who, are mere acquaintances--when I sign offline for the night? I also hate letting people down, and I love to get people excited; so I tell little white lies from time-to-time to do so. I hold open doors, pick up things for, help walkthrough etc. etc. people that, sometimes, don't even really need it; if I don't...I think to myself "Dang! I should've helped that man/woman/child! How could I not!?"
Definitely, in spite of my Ghenghis Khan thing people judge me as around here I have a similar problem (not as bad though, physically ill? wow). I may not feel responsible for Zachiri running off, but even I feel kind bad about her being upset believe it or not. And I still feel kind of sorry for Sea, poor guy.
It can be damned impeding, it's better obviously than being sociopathic of course, but learn to mute it enough to be a functional person.
For instance you should be able to smile when you think of Muammar Gaddafi dying!
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I don't know how I manage to feel guilty about everything. A conflict might have nothing to do with me, but I feel like I'm a problem too. When others around me are angry or yelling, even if it's not aimed at me, I get really down about it. Or I think if I did this or that, would it change the outcome, should I have done something to prevent it?
I really like seeing others happy. It's not exactly a feeling of obligation, but I think I put too much on my plate sometimes because I want a friend to appreciate it or because I know it's something they'd like.
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The thing that gets to me is I hear much much a person may hate someone else behind the scenes, and yet… Sometimes I feel as if he/she is an even worse person for strongly expressing it on a personal level. Even if it's a friend or close acquaintance. I mean, it's really hypocritical. These same friends of mine would get upset and self-destructive when someone else insults them personally, and yet I find myself slowly losing my tolerance to care or be sympathetic because they are well... big immature assholes themselves that really do believe they are clearly better than most people in numerous instances(or just Narcissist).
I guess this is what I get for being in good terms with a variety of characters. I can't deal with them all, and it's hard to be honest with them all the time. Heck, I don't even want to talk with any of them on a daily basis anymore, because the more I learn about them, the more disgusted I get with them.
As for zach.
It's really upsetting. She was mostly harmless, and I've even been honest about her extreme personality a couple of days ago before all of this. And honestly, she seemed really fine with it. Also, from what I've seen, there's really nice members here that do not really seem to particularly mind her at all. It's all just unfortunate. I think she might be back after a break though. The kid has guts. -
The thing that gets to me is I hear much much a person may hate someone else behind the scenes, and yet… Sometimes I feel as if he/she is an even worse person for strongly expressing it on a personal level. Even if it's a friend or close acquaintance. I mean, it's really hypocritical. These same friends of mine would get upset and self-destructive when someone else insults them personally, and yet I find myself slowly losing my tolerance to care or be sympathetic because they are well... big immature assholes themselves that really do believe they are clearly better than most people in numerous instances(or just Narcissist).
I guess this is what I get for being in good terms with a variety of characters. I can't deal with them all, and it's hard to be honest with them all the time. Heck, I don't even want to talk with any of them on a daily basis anymore, because the more I learn about them, the more disgusted I get with them.
As for zach.
It's really upsetting. She was mostly harmless, and I've even been honest about her extreme personality a couple of days ago before all of this. And honestly, she seemed really fine with it. Also, from what I've seen, there's really nice members here that do not really seem to particularly mind her at all. It's all just unfortunate. I think she might be back after a break though. The kid has guts.At the same time though I wouldn't change anything I said or did, and I'd do it again if the scenario arose.
And I can't let oversensitivity get in the way, that's the difference between being hampered by it and not. -
I would not either. It's not like I ever regret being brutally honest whenever I had the chance to, and even if I did regret it, then I'd probably be lying to myself.
But like you said shortly before, it's still upsetting how certain people react in the end. I sure didn't feel the slightest bit sorry for what happened with Sea, and still do. The dude's been digging that hole for years. But this? Yeah.If it means anything, I don't really hold anything against you MK. Unlike several others, you are a good sport.
Not sure if I needed to say that, but I just did.
Deal with it.
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I feel sorry for Sea so far as I think he's undergoing an insane indentity crisis with very little sense of authenticity.
But of course he went and got other people involved in his flights of fancy who didn't want anything to do with it. Other people this forum could use more of, and less of his obtuse philosophical bullshit. -
What do you mean when you say he got people involved in his flights of fancy
Do you just mean that insane identity crisis thread, or do you mean like he actually contacted somebody directly or something
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I've complained about other members in private before, or on like skypes, but I don't actually think there's a single person on the site that I'd want to "leave". There was maybe one member I got really mad about on a gossipy level a while back and even then I felt really bad about it because… man I don't like conflict. And you all know that was the Sea. But I try not to let it hamper me. Like I've been really blunt and honest and approached and started conflict a few times when I feel it's ideologically important to me. And I still always feel shitty about it, but I think I might just start getting over it as time goes by?
But still, other than "important" instances, I'm sort of pliable and rolly-polly as far as being nice to people goes, even people I might one minute internally be "ugh" about. Especially if they're nice to me, I'll be like "ahhhh, whatevs it's all cool" and I'll return the positivity. I like members, even if I don't necessarily like them, because it's kind of fun to have a diverse world of people. I would never want to whitewash a forum so it's only people I'd personally talk to, because that'd make it seem small and boring.
So yeah, when people leave I tend to feel pretty bad about it. No matter what I might kneejerk think one minute, I always return to positivity as a general moral and philosophical principle and it's like inherent to my structure, I'm really INFP, like 80% of me is totally (I believe in my own opinions and abstracts a lot more than the Myerss-Briggs model does, though, I'd never be swayed just because something has popularity over it). And also I sort of put more value on everyone around me than myself.
So yeah. It's hard. I really like the forum being a positive environment where a diverse group of people can thrive, but I understand that sometimes conflicts have to happen. There's a balance to it I guess. I feel bad Zachri felt she had to leave, but I hope she comes back at the end of the day and maybe when she does she'll have internalized something stronger in herself?
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What do you mean when you say he got people involved in his flights of fancy
Do you just mean that insane identity crisis thread, or do you mean like he actually contacted somebody directly or something
If I didn't specfiy, I'm not going to specify.
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I take care of my mother for five years, only with financial help from my father (who hates my mother).
My mother has:
Depression
Panic Disorder
Suicidal TendenciesMy father does not believe in psychiatry so, he doesn't pay for any therapies that my mom goes, he´s just gave up from my mother…and I fear that soon or later I will too (and if I do, she might kill herself).
I don´t know what I can do, I feel trapped, nowhere to go.
I'm trying to be apathetic to the situation for two years, but It is difficult, and I don´t want to.
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I take care of my mother for five years, only with financial help from my father (who hates my mother).
My mother has:
Depression
Panic Disorder
Suicidal TendenciesMy father does not believe in psychiatry so, he doesn't pay for any therapies that my mom goes, he´s just gave up from my mother…and I fear that soon or later I will too (and if I do, she might kill herself).
I don´t know what I can do, I feel trapped, nowhere to go.
I'm trying to be apathetic to the situation for two years, but It is difficult, and I don´t want to.
I'm going through something very similar. Only with constant empty threats of suicide, ocational doping on pill coctails to "act out" said suicide, nightly disturbances that were protested to numerous times, etc.
So I honestly feel for what you're saying right now. Also your father needs to set his watch I think it got stuck on 1902 for some reason.
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I take care of my mother for five years, only with financial help from my father (who hates my mother).
My mother has:
Depression
Panic Disorder
Suicidal TendenciesMy father does not believe in psychiatry so, he doesn't pay for any therapies that my mom goes, he´s just gave up from my mother…and I fear that soon or later I will too (and if I do, she might kill herself).
I don´t know what I can do, I feel trapped, nowhere to go.
I'm trying to be apathetic to the situation for two years, but It is difficult, and I don´t want to.
Wow, that must be really hard on you, to take care of one of your parents this way. Isn
t there anybody whou could potentially help you with this situation? I don
t know how old you are, but it`s not like this can go on forever. You either need help in taking care of your mom from someone or an outlet for your emotions, where you can just have fun, enjoy life and ignore those problems once in a while. -
@The:
Is it possible for a person to have too much empathy and sympathy for other people, and the struggles other people go through?
For instance: Sometimes, when I have a minor negative (possibly violent) thought about someone (even an animal), I start getting anxious and start to feel physically ill somewhat (because I think it's horrible)? Or, I think I'm somewhat of a bad person if I forget to say "Goodbye!" and "Keep safe!" to my friends–even to my classmates, who, are mere acquaintances--when I sign offline for the night? I also hate letting people down, and I love to get people excited; so I tell little white lies from time-to-time to do so. I hold open doors, pick up things for, help walkthrough etc. etc. people that, sometimes, don't even really need it; if I don't...I think to myself "Dang! I should've helped that man/woman/child! How could I not!?"
I kinda have that too but not as bad. But like CCC said, in brief and less sophisticated terms, just try to not worry about other people as much, especially if it's people you don't know, and just live with it. I'm over it, I think. When I open doors for others or something it's not really because I feel morally obligated, I'm just usually in a good mood and I'd rather not just open the door while someone near me gets it closed in his face. Then again, now that I think about it, if someone is close enough, I always hold them open, lol. Though it's not too bad because if they're further away I just say fuck it and close it. Better to close it then than to stay there awkwardly holding a door open for like 5 seconds. And I mostly do it for women. I'm sure that will offend some of you but I always do my best to be a gentleman. Let's leave it at that.
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@No:
I'm going through something very similar. Only with constant empty threats of suicide, ocational doping on pill coctails to "act out" said suicide, nightly disturbances that were protested to numerous times, etc.
So I honestly feel for what you're saying right now. Also your father needs to set his watch I think it got stuck on 1902 for some reason.
Thanks, is good to know that I´m not alone in this situation.
BTW, my father is very nice to me, but when it comes to my mother…
Wow, that must be really hard on you, to take care of one of your parents this way. Isn
t there anybody whou could potentially help you with this situation? I don
t know how old you are, but it`s not like this can go on forever. You either need help in taking care of your mom from someone or an outlet for your emotions, where you can just have fun, enjoy life and ignore those problems once in a while.I´m 22, we have a nurse/maid that comes everyday to take care of my mother when I go to college, but shes on vacation right now.
I go out with my friends, I even have a band, but every time, I fear for the worst.
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This post is deleted!
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Ended up in that 'weird part of youtube again', watched botfly larva removal video, like so:
!
Began questioning sanity, because I found it…cool.
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note to self, read before opening spoiler tags.
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But like CCC said, in brief and less sophisticated terms, just try to not worry about other people as much, especially if it's people you don't know, and just live with it.
I know we've moved on to larvae, but I just wanted to say that I have a huge problem with this.
I still have really bad flashbacks, having to do with other people and their negative perceptions of me.
It sucks. -
note to self, read before opening spoiler tags.
Embrace that removal magic… Embrace it! =P
Botfly larva can...infest humans as well, which makes it all the more nasty. But...they tend to stick around jungles, so...
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@The:
Ended up in that 'weird part of youtube again', watched botfly larva removal video, like so.
I happen to know a thing or two about botflies because I wrote and presented a paper about them. Including a lot of biiiig pictures and - wait for it - videos.
Everyone in that room hated me. -
just ranting
! >! >! >! I fucking hate my mom. THIS IS SO STUPID. every fucking thing. I hate my life, I hate this lousy family and I hate being reminded that I'm a loser. Why the fuck should I even make any effort at anything if I'm just gonna fail at it. Explain that to me. She's pissing me off. Doesn't know jack shit about motivational speeches. Was that supposed to get me to work hard and find a path in life?? All her fucking lecturing accomplished was make me want to stab someone and then kill myself because what is the point of anything I do. I am useless and incompetent so clearly I have nothing worth striving for. There is no place in the world for me. There's no goddamn future. Explain to me why I should keep living if that's the case?? There isn't one fucking reason. "you should do this since this won't get you anywhere!" Oh okay I guess I– "Too bad you suck at that too and can't hope to make it." ..... FUCK YOU THEN. I might as well jump off a building for all the good you're doing me. "you have no money and have no hopes of earning any!! Which is exactly why I think I ought to charge you ridiculously high rent if you're still here after four years even though your sibling is in the exact same goddamn boat but that's okay because he's not a retarded monkey in the kitchen or wherever else."
! She won't even leave MY room alone. It's MY fucking room but she treats every goddamn thing I own like it's garbage, she acts as if she's entitled to anything in my room and I hate this fucking layout now and it didn't even need to change. It's okay to fuck around with my stuff because I won't be here??? bullshit. fucking bullshit. ANYWAY I'M STILL HERE FOR A FEW MORE MONTHS YOU STUPID BITCH. My room was arranged how I wanted it, how I felt comfortable and now I've practically got my back to the door which is unsettling because I never never never want to orient myself in that way, on the left side of the room no less, and everything looks ugly and I'm right by the fucking window where it's 90 degrees out every day and fucking insects under the sill which I also didn't want but dad didn't listen!! I told him!! Nobody fucking listens!!! There is absolutely no fucking reason why anything should have been moved. IT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING ROOM. YOU JUST WANT TO USE THE FUCKING DESK!! IT'S NOT LIKE THE LAYOUT IS GONNA CHANGE THE DESK ITSELF, WHICH IS ALL YOU CLAIM TO NEED. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'LL BE FUCKING LIVING IN MY ROOM SINCE YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE. FUCK YOU ALL. CAN'T I EVEN BE ALONE IN MY ROOM WITHOUT HAVING SOMEONE BARGE IN HERE EVERY 10 MINUTES TO GET UNDER MY SKIN??? I just want fucking peace of mind. That's all I've ever fucking wanted because I'm always feeling miserable and worthless. I can't remember the last time I didn't feel that way. But I guess nobody is gonna let me have that one thing. -
I confess that whenever I'm sweaty I have the tendency to rub my head off on the nearest wall, door, window etc.
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@No:
I confess that whenever I'm sweaty I have the tendency to rub my head off on the nearest wall, door, window etc.
you could become the next Eugene Tooms .
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Confession.
I love you all -
@bartholemew:
Confession.
I love you allIs someone gonna wake up tommorow feeling like his head's gonna implode ? :ninja:
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@bartholemew:
Confession.
I love you allWe love ya too bro! :D fist-bump
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@bartholemew:
Confession.
I love you allyour avatar fits perfectly with that.
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@No:
Is someone gonna wake up tommorow feeling like his head's gonna implode ? :ninja:
Not in the Maghreb lol.
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@Monkey:
Not in the Maghreb lol.
Well yeah, but I'm trying to treat everyone equaly :ninja:
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@No:
Well yeah, but I'm trying to treat everyone equaly :ninja:
Is the Czech Republic like the official beer capitol? I hear this a lot.
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@Monkey:
Is the Czech Republic like the official beer capitol? I hear this a lot.
We~ell considering our consumption rate is 132 litres per capita (compared to Germany's 107)…....
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@No:
We~ell considering our consumption rate is 132 litres per capita (compared to Germany's 107)…....
Jesus Christ Europe is the lush of the world lol.
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@Monkey:
Jesus Christ Europe is the lush of the world lol.
You're just jealous cause of you're measely 78 :P
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@No:
You're just jealous cause of you're measely 78 :P
I-i-i like wine! Not beer!
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@bartholemew:
Confession.
I love you allLove fully reciprocated
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I might secretly think chicken is badbeats alt. >_>
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I'm way too impressed by a dude's upper arm strength. Like it's not even in a "OH BABY UR STRONG-ASS UPPER BODY TURNS ME ON" but more of a "GOD UPPER BODY STRENGTH IS SO COOL _"
And I've always been a bit of a scrawny girl (5ft3in, 110lbs) so pretty much every guy impresses me. And it's not something I really ever want to talk about to a guy because I think I'll fawn too much over it and he'll think he's going to wake up one night with me looming over him about to take his arms off with butcher knives. Idk. I think I should just keep it to myself and fangirl over it in my head.
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I'm way too impressed by a dude's upper arm strength. Like it's not even in a "OH BABY UR STRONG-ASS UPPER BODY TURNS ME ON" but more of a "GOD UPPER BODY STRENGTH IS SO COOL _"
And I've always been a bit of a scrawny girl (5ft3in, 110lbs) so pretty much every guy impresses me. And it's not something I really ever want to talk about to a guy because I think I'll fawn too much over it and he'll think he's going to wake up one night with me looming over him about to take his arms off with butcher knives. Idk. I think I should just keep it to myself and fangirl over it in my head.
You can take my arms off with butcher knives, baby. ;P
But really…it isn't weird in my book. Everyone, and everbody, has something that...turns them on; I guess the term would be.
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I confess that I work out each and every weekday.
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Lol ok then Kenny .
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I confess that I don't exercise at all.
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I confess that I don't exercise at all.
and grow weaker and more lazy every day. :P^–this