I apologize for the following. It's just something that was banging around in my head and needed to be let out (no matter how bad it sucks). It is unpolished and rather incomplete and I'm not feeling like giving it the work or polish it needs right now so it is being presented in it's rough draft 'as is' state. You'll note that I did apologize.
This is a work of parody and homage based (nearly line for line - even the parts of the original I don't like) on the poem 'A Visit from St. Nicholas' better known as 'The Night Before Christmas' and if you are unfamiliar with the source material then this won't mean a lot to you. Sorry.
And the pipe smoking Santa didn't fit my chosen Santa figure so I took liberties and ditched the smoking.
'Twas the night before Christmas and on Merry Go
Not a Strawhat was stirring abovedecks or below.
The stockings were hung on the mast of the ship
In hopes Father Christmas would stop on his trip.
The boys were all nestled in hammocks of rope
While they dreamed Christmas dreams full of magic and hope.
And Robin from her books and I from my map
Had just settled down for a Christmas Eve nap…
When up above deck there arose such a racket,
I jumped from my bed and grabbed for my jacket.
To the foot of the steps I sprang like a spring,
To identify what was this noise making thing.
The moon lit the water and light did abound
Giving brightness of noontime too all things around,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a swan-adorned sleigh with presents in the rear,
With a driver in pink dressed all festive and gay,
I knew in an instant it must be Bon Clay!
The poodles that drew him - like rockets they came!
And he laughed and he shouted and called them by name:
"Now, Fifi! now, Princess! now, Dutchess and Puffy!
On, Foofoo! on, Cocoa! on, Queenie and Fluffy!
From the top of the mast to the deck down below
Now, dash away! dash away! dash away, go!"
And just as a leaf on the wind's apt to play
Down toward the deck drifted poodles and sleigh.
Softly through the December's night wind they flew
The poodles and sleigh and our good Mister 2.
With a patter of paws and a barking like heck
The poodle drawn sleigh settled down to the deck.
Thinking to sneak away I was turning around
When out of his sleigh Bon Clay came leaping down.
His robe trimmed with white was a brutal hot pink
And his makeup was garish (at least that's what I think).
A big bag of presents he had at his back
And he looked like a thief with a big loot filled sack.
His cheeks were rose red, his mascara quite scary
His eyes shined with madness, his legs were quite hairy.
His mouth grinned a grin stretching from ear to ear
He was near overflowing with holiday cheer.
A jolly pink santa hat perched on his head
And his lips like his cheeks were a bright rosy red.
He had a long face and flat ballet belly
(And it didn't shake even a little like jelly).
He was larger than life and obnoxious and bright
And in spite of myself I laughed at the sight.
He winked me a wink and he blew me a kiss
And I knew from his smile that naught was amiss.
He spun with his sack and he set to his work
Distributed presents; then turned with a jerk.
He curtseyed to me in his Okama Way
And waving farewell he turned back to his sleigh.
He jumped to his seat and he let out a whistle
And the sleigh shot away like a poodle-drawn missle,
But I heard him call out as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas Strawhats, and to all a good night."
Sorry 'bout that.