You need a white shirt, Kitty.
Confession Session - LOCK THIS THREAD
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You need a white shirt, Kitty.
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I hate some of my classmates. Especially some of the girls. All they do is whine about everything. Mainly about the teachers. They say our teachers are bad, they're stupid, they're unfair etc. I really hate listening to these untrue complaints. I'm not saying every teacher is good, or they don't have mistakes, but that's normal, nobody's prefect.
I thought it was just a short period of life they went through (I somehow missed it. Weird), but no, I don't think so.
And call me a strange but I don't think art class, music class, PE are bad and unnecessary.
And I really hate that most of the class are listening to music, eat and talk (loudly) while we (about 4-5 people) behave. And the teachers can do nothing! That's what the main problem is.
Oh, and it's really funny that none of the girls can run for two minutes. I mean, come on, it's not that hard, we don't even have to run fast.That's it, my confession. Despite being a student, I hate my class, and respect my teachers.
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i totally sympathise man, i knew plenty of people like them.
luckily it wasn't an exam year, but my math class was so unproductive i might as well not bother turning up.
no one could get any work done or learn anything because the teacher spent 3 quarters of the lesson shouting at people and sending them out and trying to get everyone to stop talking for one damn second.
and the same students causing the ruckus were straight up shouting back at him saying "if you weren't such a SHIT teacher maybe i'd pay more attention"…
i wanted to hit him so bad... the nerve of some people.
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@MDL:
i totally sympathise man, i knew plenty of people like them.
luckily it wasn't an exam year, but my math class was so unproductive i might as well not bother turning up.
no one could get any work done or learn anything because the teacher spent 3 quarters of the lesson shouting at people and sending them out and trying to get everyone to stop talking for one damn second.
and the same students causing the ruckus were straight up shouting back at him saying "if you weren't such a SHIT teacher maybe i'd pay more attention"…
i wanted to hit him so bad... the nerve of some people.
And I thought I was the only. Good to know I was wrong.
Yeah, it's familiar. For example my Physics class (and just about every other class except for French but there are only ten people). Only my chemistry teacher can keep order.
And I'd also like to hit a few people…
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Yeah, messing about is all fine and well, but there comes a point where some of those mothers just need a swift back-of-the-hand.
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I hate some of my classmates. Especially some of the girls. All they do is whine about everything. Mainly about the teachers. They say our teachers are bad, they're stupid, they're unfair etc. I really hate listening to these untrue complaints. I'm not saying every teacher is good, or they don't have mistakes, but that's normal, nobody's prefect.
I thought it was just a short period of life they went through (I somehow missed it. Weird), but no, I don't think so.
And call me a strange but I don't think art class, music class, PE are bad and unnecessary.
And I really hate that most of the class are listening to music, eat and talk (loudly) while we (about 4-5 people) behave. And the teachers can do nothing! That's what the main problem is.
Oh, and it's really funny that none of the girls can run for two minutes. I mean, come on, it's not that hard, we don't even have to run fast.That's it, my confession. Despite being a student, I hate my class, and respect my teachers.
I had a realy horrible music teacher a few years back , who would be very unjust to students and was all around hated and unpleasant. The one I had the year before never realy taught us anything and just talked about random shit in class.
And whadya know , the first Music class of the new year and we get a test on musical theory !
I was delighted . :getlost:
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@No:
I had a realy horrible music teacher a few years back , who would be very unjust to students and was all around hated and unpleasant. The one I had the year before never realy taught us anything and just talked about random shit in class.
And whadya know , the first Music class of the new year and we get a test on musical theory !
I was delighted . :getlost:
Well yeah, our biology teacher is like that sometimes. Not all teachers are great.
But most of our teachers are really good. For example my English teacher. There are classes where we just talk about random things with her.
About music… once we had one who was really.. strange. She started to play the piano and sing. Non of us sang, only her. In the end, she stood up and said: "That was great, let me hear it again" and then, she started it all over again. Also, once, one of my classmates took of his pants (he still had his underpants on) and started dancing on the desk while the teacher wasn't looking. Not like me who actually sit in front of him. The teacher didn't even notice.
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One of the english teachers at my old school also keeps talking about random things in class.
The problem is english here is a foreign language. See where I'm going ?
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@No:
One of the english teachers at my old school also keeps talking about random things in class.
The problem is english here is a foreign language. See where I'm going ?
Well English is a foreign language here too, I wanted to say that while studying, we can still talk to the teacher and while it may not be something about English, it's still nice. And she doesn't do that all the time. And I somehow can speak English (though not perfectly) so it's not that bad.
We do have however an English talking class (not sure it's the right term for it: it's basically an English class, but with a teacher who's mother language is English. So it should help us to learn the language easier.) We should talk only in English there, but beacuse of some idiots, we can't. So, it kind of lost it's purpose by now.
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At first, sometimes small things were enough to bring me into a really depressive, almost mind shattering down.
Now, I need to swallow down bile to keep from lashing out at people who's only crime is being more fortunate than me in even the smallest, most miniscule and shallow ways. People that I consider friends and who can easily leave me if I start acting like an asshole.
This hasn't happened to me before, because I used to be in a lot better control of myself.
I'm a little scared, to tell the truth. I really need to find out what's causing me to unravel.
It sucks, but a controlled numbness is how I've managed to survive for so long.
Maybe I'll feel better after Saturday, but I really am frightened of my own situation right now. -
it sounds like you could benefit from seeking professional help.
i'm NOT saying that in a bad way btw, i just think it would definitely help if you saw a professional about this. maybe you could get rid of your negative feelings for good?
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i agree with mdl , some help might do you good
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I…guess...
Though I'm already getting something like professional help.
Maybe I just need to give this time.
Thanks for not being negative about my...er...baggage. -
no worries, this is a thread of understanding =]
if you ever need to unload any more baggage, that's what this place is FOR. :D
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indeed , if you wanna talk , you can always pm me , or a private chat if we are both online
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This thread is a place of a surprising amount of understanding.
My door is always open if anyone needs to just vent.
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I've a lot of confessions these days. Life's hard.
Anyway, something about my dad.
My parents divorced more than ten years ago. I remember that with my brother, we had to go to my father at weekends. We usually went to my grandparents, but mostly, we just had lunch in my father's flat and that's it.
My mother remarried (and divorced again a few months ago), and I accepted my stepfather. My brother not. My mum told me my grandma has been telling him things like my stepfather is bad, my father is better etc. So my brother (who was old enough to do so) decided to live with my father. It was painful for me back then, and it's still a little hard to recall those times. Since then, he has come back, now, he's living with my great-grandmother.
Because I accepted my "new" father, my grandparents sort of started to love my brother more (which was also pretty painful for me).But the thing that hurts the most is that my father doesn't love me, and I feel, he never did. He always told me to call him, and he wanted to make things right. But he has a new family now. Still, when a few years ago, he asked for another chance, I gave him that chance. I regretted it. It just made things more painful. It just made me realize how he lied all the time. My mother tells me not to cry, but there are still moments when I feel that pain and can't help but cry.
But the worst thing is, despite being a terrible father to me, who abandoned his own children and started a new life, I still love my father, and I don't know why.
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Oh Nolus. It's completely natural for you to still love your father, and seek his love in return. In the midst of all the rest of that pain, don't beat yourself up over being a caring human being. That is a very good part of you, not something to feel bad about.
I wish I could tell you that time will help you sort all of that out–it may well do so, but there may be things about it you will carry with your always. The one good thing about hardship is that, if we let it, it teaches us to be more compassionate human beings, and that is not a small thing.
Stay strong. Don't stuff that loving side of yourself, ever.
@Cuddles---depression is very real, not something people ought to judge you about, but yeah, tell your current "helping person" about where you are emotionally, and see if there's anything they can do to ease your level of pain.
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@Minne, MDL, Jay and Buster: Thanks.
I'm feeling a little better now.
…Anyone else feel like their mood gets a whole lot worse at night?
A lot of times I end up venting at three or four in the morning. -
@Cuddles:
@Minne, MDL, Jay and Buster: Thanks.
I'm feeling a little better now.you're welcome, and that's good to know =]
…Anyone else feel like their mood gets a whole lot worse at night?
yes. here's something i posted when i first started being fully active.
@MDL:- I think about the inevitability of death more often than i'd like, it happens when i'm in bed at night after i've been awake in silence for too long. I become more aware of my body during that time and so i become more aware that i'm in a ticking timebomb that i can't escape from no matter what i do, which always terrifies me to tears, especially the thought of my parents eventually dying and leaving me all alone to face the world (if i don't find a partner).
thankfully these instances of "death panic" have subsided since i posted that.
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@Cuddles:
…Anyone else feel like their mood gets a whole lot worse at night?
A lot of times I end up venting at three or four in the morning.Yes. Completely. I don't know whether this is healthy, but I think it's normal, at least, in the sense that it doesn't just happen to you. It's like, after a certain hour, thoughts and issues that normally wouldn't bother me start weighing down heavily on me. Sometimes I feel so desperate and negative that I cry - but when I wake up in the morning, I feel like hitting myself for overreacting.
I try to deal with it by not being alone, by making sure I'm occupied or have someone trustworthy to talk to. If it gets too overwhelming, maybe try to let it out in a safe way - sometimes I just type out everything that comes to mind on a Word document - and wait it out, and tell yourself that it will be better soon.
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seems pretty painfull nolus
like i said , you guys can always pm me or chat or such
and a little confession of mine is i try to always do something so that i wont think about things , cause i will think about sad things always , how i feel guilty about things
the latest months it has become worse and i sleep woth i pod now cause else i think in my bed and become sad again
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@metteminne:
and a little confession of mine is i try to always do something so that i wont think about things , cause i will think about sad things always , how i feel guilty about things
the latest months it has become worse and i sleep woth i pod now cause else i think in my bed and become sad again
you know what helps?
Don't go to bed until you're fully exhausted. That's how I do it. I go to bed when I'm really, really tired, then I fall asleep in less then 5minutes. Without thinking too much.
or another alternative: talk to me, when you're sad :P because eventually the saddness will stop when you get it out of your system. -
you know what helps?
Don't go to bed until you're fully exhausted. That's how I do it. I go to bed when I'm really, really tired, then I fall asleep in less then 5minutes. Without thinking too much.
or another alternative: talk to me, when you're sad :P because eventually the saddness will stop when you get it out of your system.well the problem with that is my parents :/
and i will talk to you when i am sad , but when i talk to you guys , i am ussualy not sad
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When I post here I'm always afraid that someone does not like it,And respond with hatred.
What I do? (stop posting is not an alternative) -
When I post here I'm always afraid that someone does not like it,And respond with hatred.
What I do? (stop posting is not an alternative)Oh my God, you're such an idiot.
Shut up.
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@I:
Oh Nolus. It's completely natural for you to still love your father, and seek his love in return. In the midst of all the rest of that pain, don't beat yourself up over being a caring human being. That is a very good part of you, not something to feel bad about.
I wish I could tell you that time will help you sort all of that out–it may well do so, but there may be things about it you will carry with your always. The one good thing about hardship is that, if we let it, it teaches us to be more compassionate human beings, and that is not a small thing.
Stay strong. Don't stuff that loving side of yourself, ever.
@Cuddles---depression is very real, not something people ought to judge you about, but yeah, tell your current "helping person" about where you are emotionally, and see if there's anything they can do to ease your level of pain.
Thank you! I'll stay strong.
Luckily, I still got my mom who loves me and cares for me. Somehow I'll get used to this. I'll probably have too much things to do because life goes on and never stops.
I just wish that my children would have a better father. Well, that only depends on me.When I post here I'm always afraid that someone does not like it,And respond with hatred.
What I do? (stop posting is not an alternative)You can tell us, we won't laugh at you and won't hate you.
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When I post here I'm always afraid that someone does not like it,And respond with hatred.
What I do? (stop posting is not an alternative)why? i dont get why you should get scared
and good luck nolus
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When I post here I'm always afraid that someone does not like it,And respond with hatred.
What I do? (stop posting is not an alternative)What about not giving a shit about what others think of you? Would make you look less weak.
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@metteminne:
and good luck nolus
Thanks. I wish I could share some chocolate with all of you now.
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Thanks. I wish I could share some chocolate with all of you now.
why chocolate?
but still thanks and like i said , you can always talk with us
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When I post here I'm always afraid that someone does not like it,And respond with hatred.
What I do? (stop posting is not an alternative)Yeah I know how you feel. AP Forums can be a tough place at its worst. But at its best it can be a great laugh. But I don't think the reaction to you or your posts has been negative; from what I've seen everyone seems to get on well with you.
@Nolus; sorry to hear bro - family drama is always the worst kind. Sucks even more cus you still can't stop feeling that inherent attachment to your pop even though you said you realised all the flaws. It's hard. Just try and make the best of what you got with your Mom. I hope things look upward for you in the near future :)
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I sympathize Nolus. My father left when I was 2, moved in with a woman 17 years younger than himself and started a new family. We haven't been in contact for years.
As for my confession…
[hide]My darkest memory took place when I was 9 and went ice-skating with my friends. I grew so frustrated of the cold and my inability to wear skates properly that I totally lost it and threw a skate at my friend who tried to calm me down.
He needed stitches to his fingers and still has the scar. I felt horrible. I don't think I've ever completely lost my temper after that, no matter how annoyed I've been. Unless I've felt a need to defend someone.
(The lucky thing is, that friend who I hurted is somehow still among my best friends…)[/hide]
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I sympathize Nolus. My father left when I was 2, moved in with a woman 17 years younger than himself and started a new family. We haven't been in contact for years.
As for my confession…
[hide]My darkest memory took place when I was 9 and went ice-skating with my friends. I grew so frustrated of the cold and my inability to wear skates properly that I totally lost it and threw a skate at my friend who tried to calm me down.
He needed stitches to his fingers. I felt horrible. I don't think I've ever completely lost my temper after that, no matter how annoyed I've been. Unless I've felt a need to defend someone.
(The lucky thing is, that friend who I hurted is somehow still among my best friends…)[/hide]
i have the same thing here mas , only with my grandfather
and for what i can see , the friend did forgave you , so thats good
and its good that you can control your anger now
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@metteminne:
why chocolate?
but still thanks and like i said , you can always talk with us
Chocolate always makes me a little happier when I feel sad. Or a cup of tea.
@Nolus; sorry to hear bro - family drama is always the worst kind. Sucks even more cus you still can't stop feeling that inherent attachment to your pop even though you said you realised all the flaws. It's hard. Just try and make the best of what you got with your Mom. I hope things look upward for you in the near future :)
We recently moved and it seems everything will be good for a while. But we can never know. I'm so glad my mother is with me. I feel safer.
I sympathize Nolus. My father left when I was 2, moved in with a woman 17 years younger than himself and started a new family. We haven't been in contact for years.
As for my confession…
[hide]My darkest memory took place when I was 9 and went ice-skating with my friends. I grew so frustrated of the cold and my inability to wear skates properly that I totally lost it and threw a skate at my friend who tried to calm me down.
He needed stitches to his fingers and still has the scar. I felt horrible. I don't think I've ever completely lost my temper after that, no matter how annoyed I've been. Unless I've felt a need to defend someone.
(The lucky thing is, that friend who I hurted is somehow still among my best friends…)[/hide]
Thank you!
(I remember there was a boy in my class. I hated him for no reason and I always wanted to humiliate him.
Now he's my best friend. Life can be strange.)
We all make mistakes. It's a great ability to be able to forgive. If he forgave you then it's okay. And you learnt your lesson from it and regretted it. You're not a bad person. -
can i say that chocolate does contain some stuff that make people happy , i think it was proven somehow
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I don't know, I only know I love chocolate and it helps me sometimes.
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Chocolate contains endorphins, happiness hormones.
so, yeah, it's true. Chocolate is supposed to make happy.
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No wonder I hate chocolate so much.
returns to my dark corner
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That's why JK Rowling used them as the plot device to ward off Dementor effects.
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@Uncle:
No wonder I hate chocolate so much.
returns to my dark corner
That makes two of us. I can't stand chocolate at all.
Being energetic and cheerful is mighty fine, but chocolate just tastes so foul I can't stand it. Not to mention the fact that eating chocolate when I am a tad allergic to it is rather painful and tiresome.
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Thanks everybody (especially Flux,Nami and Uncle Kenny)
Really,not give a damn about what others say is a good tip,I'll try to be more confident when i post here.
Thanks.When I was depressed (2009) I ate a lot of chocolate … the bad thing is that chocolate gives a false happiness.
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I jus hit my mother very hard.
You guys try and deal with someone who yells non stop even when neighbours complained and when you are the only one trying to prevent eviction because of it .
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@No:
I jus hit my mother very hard.
You guys try and deal with someone who yells non stop even when neighbours complained and when you are the only one trying to prevent eviction because of it .
Violence solves all problems.
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@Capt Ugly–INHE--admittedly a lot less than many longtimers around here, AP can be rough when you are in the manga section in a few instances, including when you are debating a contested point and you are both unable to provide any support or basis within the manga for you ideas and unable to admit that you are either wrong (and not taking it all that seriously if you are) or engaging in pure speculation. In places like this thread, the gen discussion thread, the pic thread, the help threads, and a few other places where people tend to tell each other more personal stuff, people are incredibly supportive--I have been so proud inumerable times over the last 10 or so months to have been a part of these forums. So really, have no fear Capt.
But all of you do need to remember that these forums are very very public–like as in top of the list for Google searches public, so do remember to be discreet. (Not that anyone hasn't been, just a mom-like worried reminder to her chicks, k? Stuff on the internet NEVER goes away, and can affect a search for a job or apartment application even years later)
@ no ma'am, sounds rough. Do you want to talk about it more? Is your mom experiencing a particularly tough time or is she an alcoholic or something?
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Violence solves all problems.
How do you argue with someone with a certifiably damaged brain ?
@I:
@ no ma'am, sounds rough. Do you want to talk about it more? Is your mom experiencing a particularly tough time or is she an alcoholic or something?
I mentioned her daily several hour long tantrums ? Or that she particularly enjoys sitting in the kitched and arguing at herself , with no one else present ?
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still hitting her isnt the right thing to do
best thing then would be professional help
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True but I think we need a context.
I doubt No Maam just walked up to her and haymakered her.
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Ok, without knowing fully what's up… No Maam, you already brouhgt that up a few times.
So. To me it looks like your mother needs serious help. And you, too. Because this affects you.I tell you something about my mother. Perhaps this will bring you to do the right thing.
My mother was sexually abused and punished by a lot of men in her life. And by people who raised her. Until I was 16 she behaved very normal. Never talked lot about it and especially not to me (I only got to know those stuff via eavesdropping). Whatever, when I was 16 she got uterine cancer. They removed her uterine and everything was fine again. Hence, she got a treatment at a health resort. There was this one doctor, a psychologist and everything my mother went through her life broke out. She started to act crazy. There was this one time when she bake a cake. She started screaming and crying because she wasn't able to get the cake out of the baking tray. She hitted herself, punched against the wall, throwed things around and so on and on. Just because of a fuckin cake. She tried to kill herself a few times. I could only make her stop by holding her arms. And my mother is strong so that was not an easy thing to do. I talked to her, tried to calm her down, tried to hug her, to stroke her.But whatever. What was the result? She needed help, desperatly. We all knew this and she realised this, too. We tried to get her into a psychatry (was not easy, cause there were all full, lol. To get a place there was hard), but we finally managed to get her in. And it helped.
The story is much bigger, this is just a tiny part, but what I try to tell you.
You have two options.Option one. Get her to see a doctor. And you should see one, too, cause I bet there is a lot of stuff going on inside you.
Option two. Abandon her. Leave her. You don't help yourself if this continues. It could end worse.
What you're doing now isn't helping either of you. You'll come to a dead end soon. So fucking DO something! And do it now. Not when it is too late.
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True but I think we need a context.
I doubt No Maam just walked up to her and haymakered her.
After about sixty times of telling her not to yell just today , and that seeming to just make her scream louder , I realy couldn't think of anything.
@ Nami : She will never seek help and will pretend to act normaly around other people.
Of course this mostly happens when she is drunk , but she does it when she's sober too.
Worst is when she tries to "kill" herself…..by swallowing a glass of vitamins and a few painkillers , that just make her sort of stoned.
She doesn't drop off to sleep even after that.
And as for leaving her , she has gigantic debts , no friends and no family.