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    Why did the chicken cross the road?

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    • L
      lorenzo
      last edited by
      L
      spiral
      lorenzo
      spiral

      Post in your reasons as to why the chicken cross the road. Submit your answers based on the characteristics of the famous persons.

      Plato: For the greater good.
      Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
      Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
      as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
      boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
      among them has the strength to contend with such a
      paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
      princely chicken's dominion maintained.
      Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
      pancreas.
      Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
      within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and
      each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial
      intent can never be discerned, because structuralism
      is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
      Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
      Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
      would let it take.
      Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
      Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
      gazes also across you.
      Oliver North: National Security was at stake.
      B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
      sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
      fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
      believing these actions to be of its own free will.
      Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
      necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
      this historical juncture, and therefore
      synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
      Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
      the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
      Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the
      objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came
      into being which caused the actualization of this
      potential occurrence.
      Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
      the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
      Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
      Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
      nature.
      Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
      events to grace the annals of history. An historic,
      unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
      such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to
      homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
      Salvador Dali: The Fish.
      Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from
      the trees.
      Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
      Epicurus: For fun.
      Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
      Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
      Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
      Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
      was on, but it was moving very fast.
      David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
      Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
      reason.
      Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
      Ronald Reagan: I forget.
      John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
      transportation, so quite understandably the chicken
      availed himself of the opportunity.
      The Sphinx: You tell me.
      Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
      Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately … and suck all the marrow
      out of life.
      Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
      Molly Yard: It was a hen!
      Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
      Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.
      Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.
      The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.
      Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.
      Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.
      Othello: Jealousy.
      Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have,
      you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the
      Need to resist such a public Display of your own
      lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.
      Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.
      Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.
      Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in
      town ought never expose one to such barbarous
      inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
      road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the
      chicken in question.
      Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade
      insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.
      Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
      filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
      to question the actions of one in all respects his
      superior.
      Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.
      Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
      misplaced concreteness.
      Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)
      Hamlet: That is not the question.
      Donne: It crosseth for thee.
      Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.
      Constable: To get a better view.
      George.W.Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

      Al Gore: I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

      Bill Gates: I have just released chicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook – and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of chicken.

      https://www.facebook.com/gabvalencia…70636309791450

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • Cap'n Carter
        Cap'n Carter
        last edited by
        Cap'n Carter
        spiral
        Cap'n Carter
        spiral

        So did you just copy and paste this from a FWD e-mail you got and thought it'd be a good thread idea?

        the bigot who thinks being an asshole is actually worth shit

        Roronoa Zolo 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • L
          lorenzo
          last edited by
          L
          spiral
          lorenzo
          spiral

          What? You actually find me incapable of such petty things? 👅
          This is small time, you should see what I did to our school prom.
          Actually this is from me and my classmate's project in Psych.16 = Personality Theories. It's over ryt now..Just wanna put it here in the net for others to see.

          George Bush down are from my own added ideas.

          https://www.facebook.com/gabvalencia…70636309791450

          Ramza 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • Ramza
            Ramza @lorenzo
            @lorenzo last edited by
            Ramza
            spiral
            Ramza
            spiral

            @lorenzo:

            What? You actually find me incapable of such petty things? 👅
            This is small time, you should see what I did to our school prom.
            Actually this is from me and my classmate's project in Psych.16 = Personality Theories. It's over ryt now..Just wanna put it here in the net for others to see.

            George Bush down are from my own added ideas.

            u told ur partner why the chicken cross the road? :wassat:

            Brawl Name: Ramza

            Brawl Code: 1805-1932-2783

            L 3 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • L
              lorenzo
              last edited by
              L
              spiral
              lorenzo
              spiral

              No, it was part of a Personality Theories project. We jumble out all ideas of psychologists and apply some Personality Theories towards famous people. This was our project in psych. which was posted in the hallway bulletin board for people to look at and laugh.

              And about the prom.
              Well it's kind of a bad influence to others. But it did turn out real nice, and my teachers gave me two thumbs up after it.

              https://www.facebook.com/gabvalencia…70636309791450

              Polygon 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • Polygon
                Polygon @lorenzo
                @lorenzo last edited by
                Polygon
                spiral
                Polygon
                spiral

                Thanks to you, I am now closer to understanding why the chicken crossed the road. Thank you.

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • Impel Down
                  Impel Down
                  last edited by
                  Impel Down
                  spiral
                  Impel Down
                  spiral

                  Woody Allen- Because the side it was on was CRAZY!

                  G Cr4zy 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • G
                    Goldeneye @Impel Down
                    @Impel Down last edited by
                    G
                    spiral
                    Goldeneye
                    spiral

                    to rule the world
                    to break dance
                    to get run over, was a stockbroker and lost all the money in enron scandal.
                    to meet his one true love…the bumper sticker
                    to go where no chicken has gone before, the windsheild wiper.

                    i made the top ones up by the way

                    Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
                    reason.

                    that was the best one in opinon lol

                    Life is nothing more than game that you can only play once.

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • darkpiece150
                      darkpiece150
                      last edited by
                      darkpiece150
                      spiral
                      darkpiece150
                      spiral

                      for tacos and burritos!

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • TakinawaTonfa
                        TakinawaTonfa
                        last edited by
                        TakinawaTonfa
                        spiral
                        TakinawaTonfa
                        spiral

                        Because it didn't want to be the topic of one of your threads 😛

                        Z Ramza 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • Aoi Neko
                          Aoi Neko
                          last edited by
                          Aoi Neko
                          spiral
                          Aoi Neko
                          spiral
                          This post is deleted!
                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • Z
                            zeroxtb @TakinawaTonfa
                            @TakinawaTonfa last edited by
                            Z
                            spiral
                            zeroxtb
                            spiral

                            @TakinawaTonfa:

                            Because it didn't want to be the topic of one of your threads 😛

                            quoted for truth

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • Ramza
                              Ramza @TakinawaTonfa
                              @TakinawaTonfa last edited by
                              Ramza
                              spiral
                              Ramza
                              spiral

                              @TakinawaTonfa:

                              Because it didn't want to be the topic of one of your threads 😛

                              lol the world finally knows the truth behind the chicken crossing the road!!:w00t::w00t::w00t:

                              Brawl Name: Ramza

                              Brawl Code: 1805-1932-2783

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • Roronoa Zolo
                                Roronoa Zolo @Cap'n Carter
                                @Cap'n Carter last edited by
                                Roronoa Zolo
                                spiral
                                Roronoa Zolo
                                spiral

                                @Cap'n:

                                So did you just copy and paste this from a FWD e-mail you got and thought it'd be a good thread idea?

                                That's exactly what I was thinking because I have read all of those before.

                                (Thanks Jeece)

                                Everyone loves Magical Trevor

                                http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/37/

                                The long awaited sequel

                                http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/magical+trevor+2/

                                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • Cr4zy
                                  Cr4zy @Impel Down
                                  @Impel Down last edited by
                                  Cr4zy
                                  spiral
                                  Cr4zy
                                  spiral

                                  @Impel:

                                  Woody Allen- Because the side it was on was CRAZY!

                                  …...I'm a side now?

                                  ~My Deviantart Page~

                                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • L
                                    lorenzo @Ramza
                                    @Ramza last edited by
                                    L
                                    spiral
                                    lorenzo
                                    spiral

                                    [ooc for Roronoa Zolo [ooc] That was some other sites where my friend put it at…. I placed those things mostly on porn-sites...Now I would love to give u a link, unfortunately porn-peddling aint allowed in this forum.

                                    https://www.facebook.com/gabvalencia…70636309791450

                                    G 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • G
                                      Goldeneye @lorenzo
                                      @lorenzo last edited by
                                      G
                                      spiral
                                      Goldeneye
                                      spiral

                                      @lorenzo:

                                      [ooc for Roronoa Zolo [ooc] That was some other sites where my friend put it at…. I placed those things mostly on porn-sites...Now I would love to give u a link, unfortunately porn-peddling aint allowed in this forum.

                                      i'm lost…what....? who what where when...idk anymore sobs

                                      Life is nothing more than game that you can only play once.

                                      Roronoa Zolo 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • L
                                        lorenzo @Ramza
                                        @Ramza last edited by
                                        L
                                        spiral
                                        lorenzo
                                        spiral

                                        Porn is bad for kids. cries with you

                                        https://www.facebook.com/gabvalencia…70636309791450

                                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • Roronoa Zolo
                                          Roronoa Zolo @Goldeneye
                                          @Goldeneye last edited by
                                          Roronoa Zolo
                                          spiral
                                          Roronoa Zolo
                                          spiral

                                          @Goldeneye:

                                          i'm lost…what....? who what where when...idk anymore sobs

                                          I'm right beside ya buddy.

                                          (Thanks Jeece)

                                          Everyone loves Magical Trevor

                                          http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/37/

                                          The long awaited sequel

                                          http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/magical+trevor+2/

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • Z
                                            zeroxtb
                                            last edited by
                                            Z
                                            spiral
                                            zeroxtb
                                            spiral

                                            the sub-title under your username is very misleading, this should be fixed

                                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                            • L
                                              lorenzo @Ramza
                                              @Ramza last edited by
                                              L
                                              spiral
                                              lorenzo
                                              spiral

                                              Hehehe!! This was supposed to be a thread to laugh at.
                                              Now look…Everybody's crying sobs

                                              https://www.facebook.com/gabvalencia…70636309791450

                                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                              • G
                                                Goldeneye
                                                last edited by
                                                G
                                                spiral
                                                Goldeneye
                                                spiral

                                                now everybodies confused mwhaaaa my evil scheme worked….hehehhe jk.

                                                but yeah....i'm lost

                                                Life is nothing more than game that you can only play once.

                                                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                                • igalsfy
                                                  igalsfy
                                                  last edited by
                                                  igalsfy
                                                  spiral
                                                  igalsfy
                                                  spiral

                                                  so, that's another "shit happens-like".

                                                  my answer: "why not?"

                                                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0

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