Now learn not to want to crucify all the people who aren't observant enough to get what you mean on the first go and you're set to become the king of the world.
Confession Session - LOCK THIS THREAD
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In Loving Memory of Toraish, Rex Avium: http://apforums.net/showthread.php?t=40786 | 3DS Friend Code: 3196-4274-7836
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I think that I'm turning straight, I mean I've known that something like this has been happening for almost a year now, it's probably been going on for much longer behind the scenes, but I just had an epiphany last night and now I'm pretty certain that's what's happening.
Maybe I'll never stop being attracted to women's bodies, but in terms of potential partners and the people who I turn absolutely fucking stupid around, it's starting to be men more and more. There have been a few times when I've gotten physically hot and bothered and my heart starts racing and I start talking about nothing and I have this goofy awkward smile going on, and I pray that my cheeks aren't red but I KNOW that they can tell and it's really fucking embarrassing. Especially considering my reputation, it's like my rep is going down the drain but I can't stop it from happening. Ugh. xD
I can kind of relate to this … well, more or less. Like girls are always an interesting proposition, while there are times when the idea of guys sparks some interest and bothersome feelings. But that's only on really particular moments, and not quite as prevalent.
In the end it's all made infinitely simpler by the fact the person I'm in love with and dating is a girl. I think for me at least it became a decision upon loving someone of a particular gender .... I'd probably be more scattered if it wasn't for that.
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I am starting to discover that there is hella dissonance between some of sexual fantasies and my feminist ideals.
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I am starting to discover that there is hella dissonance between some of sexual fantasies and my feminist ideals.
That's every sexual fantasy. I defy you to find anyone with a fantasy that's totally in line with their ideals
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Fuck how do you people find partners tho
Like "more-than-sexual" partners
Like TV movie style
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I guess it's also why those times when guys are interesting it feel so strong. The fact that in terms of fantasies and such, dissonance kind of makes the feeling more intense.
A trick of the brain. Since you disagree with them, and yet you still think the thoughts, your brain assumes that "hey, I guess that means that you actually really like it!"
edit: you find partners pretending to be normal, and then eventually you find one who somehow has fantasies and hidden interests that align with yours. It's actually pretty fucking bizarre and I don't get it.
Personally, I'm more perplexed on how people make friends. -
Personally, I'm more perplexed on how people make friends.
Yeah well that's not a bucket of easy mode either I can tell you that
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@Toraish:
Now learn not to want to crucify all the people who aren't observant enough to get what you mean on the first go and you're set to become the king of the world.
Ya know what kinda guy I consider fit to be king of da world? That guy who can switch his voice and tone and style and aura in a matter of second.
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Ya know what kinda guy I consider fit to be king of da world? That guy who can switch his voice and tone and style and aura in a matter of second.
Aye, more or less. Different spheres require different tones. But as there are different spheres, there are also different worlds. It all depends on the point of view and the intentions behind one.
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@Toraish:
Now learn not to want to crucify all the people who aren't observant enough to get what you mean on the first go and you're set to become the king of the world.
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I am more like the person who has completely mastered one sphere and becomes a raving lunatic when I'm exposed to people who have mastered others.
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@Monkey:
As indeed we knew that the Shah of Iran was a puppet leader for Western powers, he was also merely an actor playing a role. The father of the famous Academy Award-winning film director, Martin Scorsese. His name was Luciano Charles Scorsese, whose Wikipedia page is incredibly sparse and shows that he was uncredited in some films he appeared in!
So then, why did the Iranian Revolution occur? Why was there a rapid growth of opposition to the Shah? It was all a Hollywood script. Historians know that the Iranian Revolution and the subsequent overthrow of the Shah of Iran was peculiarly unusual. It lacked many of the customary causes of revolution (defeat at war, a financial crisis, peasant rebellion, or disgruntled military), produced profound change at great speed, was massively popular, and replaced a westernising monarchy with a theocracy. We can confidently speculate with great certainty that the reason for the unusual nature of the revolution was due to the fact that the Shah was an actor and that it was a fraudulent media event, designed to replace one corrupt regime with another.
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As indeed we knew that the Shah of Iran was a puppet leader for Western powers, he was also merely an actor playing a role. The father of the famous Academy Award-winning film director, Martin Scorsese. His name was Luciano Charles Scorsese, whose Wikipedia page is incredibly sparse and shows that he was uncredited in some films he appeared in!
So then, why did the Iranian Revolution occur? Why was there a rapid growth of opposition to the Shah? It was all a Hollywood script. Historians know that the Iranian Revolution and the subsequent overthrow of the Shah of Iran was peculiarly unusual. It lacked many of the customary causes of revolution (defeat at war, a financial crisis, peasant rebellion, or disgruntled military), produced profound change at great speed, was massively popular, and replaced a westernising monarchy with a theocracy. We can confidently speculate with great certainty that the reason for the unusual nature of the revolution was due to the fact that the Shah was an actor and that it was a fraudulent media event, designed to replace one corrupt regime with another.
argo 2, coming tihs fall
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Lol, what on Earth is this theory and why do I only hear about it now? This is hilarious.
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http://www.free-times.com/archives/images/21.09/eightdaypolismovie.jpg
The Persepolis books are some of my favorite books of all time; first time I've ever read an autobiographical comic. :)
Guessing the film is good too, didn't get around to watching it yet.
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i like randomly thinking up similar faces between people and that one popped in my head
"lol martin scorcese looks like the shah did" and searching to see if other people notciced too, aa crazy person did apparent;y
my favorite
Raekwon of the Wu Tang Clan looking like Socrates (that's So-cruh-taes bitches, not sah-cruh-tees)
look and deny, you can't even try"The way I make the crowd go wild, sit back relax won't smile
Rae got it going on pal, call me the rap assassinator
Rhymes rugged and built like Schwarzenegger
And I'm gonna get mad deep like a threat, blow up your project" - Socrates -
Me and Rebecca Sugar.
Also Patti Smith but that one's less conclusive.
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i have other big ones but i cant rmeember them now
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@Toraish:
Lol, what on Earth is this theory and why do I only hear about it now? This is hilarious.
Walt Disney and Adolf Hitler were the same man!_Kermit Roosevelt was the linchpin of Argentine banking. Thus the Nazi connection presents itself and explains why so many escaped to Argentina and South America. Also remember his son Kermit Jr was the Top CIA agent that is credited with being the master mind behind the overthrow of the Shah of Iran. He learned these tactics from his grandfather who funded the rebels of Panama to over throw the government so he could then purchase the land and build the Panama Canal.
And don't forget who was in charge of handing out the oil leases as Secretary of the Navy. Also Theo and brother Archie (Roy Disney) got caught pulling off this stunt. It was called the Tea pot dome scandal which ultimately caused Theo to have to step down. But that's OK. Disney was starting up and Archie could care less. Remember at the same time the Disney brothers started their studio, their brother, as Joseph Kennedy, invested heavily in the other Hollywood studios. This is why they created the fake names as that move right there would have been highly illegal and the Trust busting laws their Father (Teddie) and Uncle (playing JP Morgan) created. They did that knowing that it wouldn't hurt their own investments because no one knew who they really were. But it successfully put a cap on all their competition! Brilliant, if you're that ruthless. So at that point they owned 80% of Hollywood including RKO. AND KNOWING THAT DISNEY IS ROOSEVELT do you see how the Disney Studios got the contract to produce all the War Propaganda films for the US and Europe? THEIR COUSIN Franklin D. Roosevelt gave it to them without the country even realizing he just handed the biggest contract (paid for with tax money) and put that money right back in the families' pocket!_
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Will Forte and that guy from Kraftwerk.
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
Engelbert Dollfuss, timid mini dictator of Austria that Hitler had killed.
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So we're ignoring obvious clones like Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley right.
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bonus points for crossing racial lines (socrates raekwon) and maybe some points for crossing perceived racial lines (scorcese, the shah)
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I've said this before, but as of late, I keep having the feeling that I "wanna go home", but I am home! Where else would I even go? What's going on?! D:
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I've said this before, but as of late, I keep having the feeling that I "wanna go home", but I am home! Where else would I even go? What's going on?! D:
I've had a strange feeling for a long time like there's a city I really want to go live in or near. But it's like this strange vague image in my head, and I keep thinking I'm meaning NYC or Providence or something. But it's never those really.
Like it's this strange deja vu, but it obviously doesn't exist. But I really want to live there.
It's a very clean sterile place that is maybe a bit in the future?? like thirty fifty years?? like it seems more spruced up then modern ones
i get strong deja vu vibes when watching GITS:SAC episodes and listening to Radiohead loll 0_o–- Update From New Post Merge ---
agoraphobepunk .
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I need that city.
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radiohead songs are really dark and unhappy but even some of the darker songs make me have that weird happy sensation lol
thom yorke: WALK INTTTOOO THE JAWWS OF HELLL, SITTT DOWN STANDDD UP
me:
-♪♫ -
@Monkey:
i like randomly thinking up similar faces between people and that one popped in my head
"lol martin scorcese looks like the shah did" and searching to see if other people notciced too, aa crazy person did apparent;y
my favorite
Raekwon of the Wu Tang Clan looking like Socrates (that's So-cruh-taes bitches, not sah-cruh-tees)
look and deny, you can't even try"The way I make the crowd go wild, sit back relax won't smile
Rae got it going on pal, call me the rap assassinator
Rhymes rugged and built like Schwarzenegger
And I'm gonna get mad deep like a threat, blow up your project" - SocratesMore like:
"The way I make Athenians go wild, sit back relax won't smile
Reason got it going on pal, call me the youth corrupter
Dialectics rugged and built like Achilles and Hector
And I am gonna fuckin' ask like a threat
Blow up your unexamined life, and explain away all your knowledge
Cause I came to tear your fancy to pieces
With the thoughts that bomb shit like sophistry
So if you wanna try to boast, go boast to the next man
Cause I got the Gods, and killing me will
Injure you more than you do me, I got
Going to next world with a poison pot hot" - Socrates -
this song also takes me there
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More like:
"The way I make Athenians go wild, sit back relax won't smile
Reason got it going on pal, call me the youth corrupter
Dialectics rugged and built like Achilles and Hector
And I am gonna fuckin' ask like a threat
Blow up your unexamined life, and explain away all your knowledge
Cause I came to tear your fancy in half
With the thoughts that bomb shit like math
So if you wanna try to boast, go boast to the next man
Cause I got the Gods, and killing me will
Injure you more than you do me, I got
Going to next world with a poison pot hot" - Socrates–- Update From New Post Merge ---
damn thems some cholo fucking greeks llol
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I feel like there should be the city. But then like. A place where nature is ALLOWED to be. Like we've contained it. And it's a desert. The last piece of nature on Earth is a desert. With Joshua Trees and all of Mono Lake and like those mountain slopes with snow and Bristlecone Pines. And that should just be it. All of nature in one place. Maybe a virtual simulation. Or maybe that should just be MY nature. And other people get jungles or whatever the hell else they want. Why the fuck would you want a jungle. Meanwhile whoever has mastered retroviral transgenesis is king of the new world and lives in New Edendale (their headquarters needs to be close to where Hollywood was/would be, after all, I mean it's the new cosmetics really). And they have a big painting behind their big desk that looks like this.
But really big and more detailed like not shitty obviously and they have little models and maybe a tiny theater where they explain to you the entire process like in Jurassic Park. And maybe I'm the Jeff Goldblum of this world like all staccato. And outside the big-ass skyscraper, the red cars are back and jukeboxes are back and somebody pushes the button for us in the elevator and somebody charges your car for you even if they're just robots or a genetically engineered servile race and people are shooting up fucking genes and becoming whatever the fuck they want. No wait, there wouldn't be a servile RACE, people would CHOOSE to be servile. See I was talking about this in IRC. And the people who choose to be boys are tiny men who fight with sonic switchblades and race their souped-up hoovering hotrods or whatever. And the burgers. Oh god I can't even conceive of the burgers and the fries and the milkshakes right now. And the people who chose to be hot waitresses in their roller skates, they skate up to you in your souped-up hoovering hotrod. WITH BURGERS. It's like paradise.
But whenever I want to get away. I can just go to my desert. With the Joshua Trees and the lake and the Bristlecone Pines. Maybe I'll have another virtual consciousness stored there to talk to me. Would be sweet.
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I used to have a very complex dream world with all these various places to visit and people/other beings with their own dreams, aspirations, and lives. There, I was, or at least felt older, and had more confidence. In addition, I had an older brother figure to look up to. My dream world felt like somewhat of a journey, trying to find out more about life and reach somewhat of a higher level of understanding. Unfortunately, it kind of went to shit after awhile, and now everything seems to be in ruins compared to what it once was. Many of the people and beings I've come to know and care about there were kidnapped, killed off, vanished, or became indifferent; my older brother figure was among one of the first to go.
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@Monkey:
I've had a strange feeling for a long time like there's a city I really want to go live in or near. But it's like this strange vague image in my head, and I keep thinking I'm meaning NYC or Providence or something. But it's never those really.
I have the same thing with the whole of Finland. It's funny how most people here complain about Helsinki of all places being "too big" and whenever I go there I'm always really disappointed and all like "was this really it". And I go there every single day that I have school. Nyeh.
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I used to have a very complex dream world with all these various places to visit and people/other beings with their own dreams, aspirations, and lives. There, I was, or at least felt older, and had more confidence. In addition, I had an older brother figure to look up to. My dream world felt like somewhat of a journey, trying to find out more about life and reach somewhat of a higher level of understanding. Unfortunately, it kind of went to shit after awhile, and now everything seems to be in ruins compared to what it once was. Many of the people and beings I've come to know and care about there were kidnapped, killed off, vanished, or became indifferent; my older brother figure was among one of the first to go.
Aw man that sucks! Condolences. :C
My dreamscape is kind of the same way, it's all the same places in the same world.
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Aw man that sucks! Condolences. :C
My dreamscape is kind of the same way, it's all the same places in the same world.
What's worse is that sometimes I see the same person meeting different demises in different dreams.
Do you have locations that appear more than once or twice, too?
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What's worse is that sometimes I see the same person meeting different demises in different dreams.
Do you have locations that appear more than once or twice, too?
Yeah.
But my dreams are perpetually some kind of Halloween special. Spooky as hell.
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Yeah.
But my dreams are perpetually some kind of Halloween special. Spooky as hell.
Is it at least an interesting kind of scary?
I used to never have nightmares, any my world was a vivid, almost artistic place. Heck it was very artistic; once there was a very surreal location that was an ice beach with a reverse colored sunset, a large, ruby cube with a lady curled up in it, the stars were like diamonds, some were even peaches, and Satori was the moon.:blink:
And yes, I mean the Balls Satori…
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Is it at least an interesting kind of scary?
I used to never have nightmares, any my world was a vivid, almost artistic place.
Sometimes they are just awful nightmares that play upon my bad memories and innermost fears but other times they are just supernatural nightmares. I mean, they still scare the shit out of me, but they don't traumatize me, it's not like I wake up crying and sobbing.
Heck it was very artistic; once there was a very surreal location that was an ice beach with a reverse colored sunset, a large, ruby cube with a lady curled up in it, the stars were like diamonds, some were even peaches, and Satori was the moon.:blink:
Wow that sounds beautiful. :)
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Sometimes they are just awful nightmares that play upon my bad memories and innermost fears but other times they are just supernatural nightmares. I mean, they still scare the shit out of me, but they don't traumatize me, it's not like I wake up crying and sobbing.
Wow that sounds beautiful. :)
Even with Satori as the moon? XD
But yeah, it was truly a beautiful site. There were also colorful beach houses lined nearby the shore, with wooden steps leading down to the beach.
And at least you don't have traumatizing nightmares; that would be terrible.
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And at least you don't have traumatizing nightmares; that would be terrible.
No I do, they're the ones that play upon my bad memories and innermost fears.
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No I do, they're the ones that play upon my bad memories and innermost fears.
Ah, now that is awful. :(
Do they occur often, or are they sparse?
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Ah, now that is awful. :(
Do they occur often, or are they sparse?
Not too often.
Luckily they have never come for my feelings about pregnancy and childbirth and children. -
I think that I'm turning straight, I mean I've known that something like this has been happening for almost a year now, it's probably been going on for much longer behind the scenes, but I just had an epiphany last night and now I'm pretty certain that's what's happening.
Maybe I'll never stop being attracted to women's bodies, but in terms of potential partners and the people who I turn absolutely fucking stupid around, it's starting to be men more and more. There have been a few times when I've gotten physically hot and bothered and my heart starts racing and I start talking about nothing and I have this goofy awkward smile going on, and I pray that my cheeks aren't red but I KNOW that they can tell and it's really fucking embarrassing. Especially considering my reputation, it's like my rep is going down the drain but I can't stop it from happening. Ugh. xD
Same boat here. And it's a really strange boat to be in.
I think there's still some residual "liking guys is not allowed" from back in my teens before transition which is why it took me so long to actually grasp what was going on or why I would go giddy over Brian Molko or Tom Hiddleston. Not that I'm 100% hetero by all means, but hey…it's honestly a lot of fun to indulge in, if you catch my drift.
Now if only I had more opportunity to actually indulge.–- Update From New Post Merge ---
I confess to forgetting to refresh the page before replying and thus missing several pages of posts and I really hope I haven't just been insensitive.
rushes to catch up
moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon
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I confess that i never understood the fangasming over Hiddleston.
Fine actor certainly, but good looking? He's no morlock or anything, but come on
But eh i'm sure there are plenty of ablebodied Londoners who'll indulge you if you make a little flirt
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Ah, dream worlds…I can usually tell when my mind has reused sets from previous dreams, although none of the sets really correspond to the real world locations I somehow 'know' them to be. Sometimes I really wish I could visit them, but sometimes it feels really wrong even considering doing so. Strange places made up of memories broken up and stiched together into a universe of maybes.
I don't much like dreaming.
@Monkey:
radiohead songs are really dark and unhappy but even some of the darker songs make me have that weird happy sensation lol
thom yorke: WALK INTTTOOO THE JAWWS OF HELLL, SITTT DOWN STANDDD UP
me:-♪♫I find a lot of dark songs have a kind of melancholic tranquility. I listen to a lot of that kind of music to help me relax. Not sure why that works, but it seems to be a fairly common thing amongst my friends here.
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I confess that i never understood the fangasming over Hiddleston.
Fine actor certainly, but good looking? He's no morlock or anything, but come on
But eh i'm sure there are plenty of ablebodied Londoners who'll indulge you if you make a little flirt
It's the Loki thing, mainly. That cheeky grin and those shining eyes.
And, um, perhaps, but given my history, I'm always somehow convinced that I'd just be setting myself up to be mocked and hurt. That's a really difficult hurdle to get over, especially given that people are so rarely explicit in this particular subject.
moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon
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@Print:
And, um, perhaps, but given my history, I'm always somehow convinced that I'd just be setting myself up to be mocked and hurt. That's a really difficult hurdle to get over, especially given that people are so rarely explicit in this particular subject.
Oh right. People are bastards. A point that i had overlooked.
But here's my counter offer, you are super cute and you owe it to us and the world at large to really get out there and sift through the jackasses
Not the best, nor most insightful advice anyone has ever given. But atleast it's heartfelt
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Oh right. People are bastards. A point that i had overlooked.
But here's my counter offer, you are super cute and you owe it to us and the world at large to really get out there and sift through the jackasses
Not the best, nor most insightful advice anyone has ever given. But atleast it's heartfelt
Thanks, wolfy, that's good to hear :) and sometimes heartfelt words are more useful than treating situations as problems to be solved.
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I confess that i never understood the fangasming over Hiddleston.
Fine actor certainly, but good looking? He's no morlock or anything, but come on
But eh i'm sure there are plenty of ablebodied Londoners who'll indulge you if you make a little flirt
From what I get from tumblr it's all about his charming personality. Well I think that there are fans, who are drawn to him by his looks, but mostly is due to his personality and his acting skills, that make him seem more physically attractive, than he actually is.
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I confess that i never understood the fangasming over Hiddleston.
Fine actor certainly, but good looking? He's no morlock or anything, but come on
But eh i'm sure there are plenty of ablebodied Londoners who'll indulge you if you make a little flirt
Yeah, I never understood it much either… Then again, I'm not really one to fangirl. :/
