Rock Lee had his left arm behind his back. He exercised his joints while keeping his focus on his quiet opponent. “What will he do?” he thought to himself. “I know he’s fast and he has a lot of guns, but what will he do first? And what is he thinking? What battle tactic could be forming in his mind?”
“His eyes reminds me of donuts” Vash thought to himself. “Mmmmmmm, donuts. I wonder if there’s a donut shop around here.” he scratched his head while thinking. Rock Lee grew bored of waiting and rushed in for a mighty kick, which Vash stepped out of the way of. “I think I saw a donut shop while driving here” Vash thought to himself. Rock Lee tried a 360 degree spinning left jump kick that Vash ducked under. “Maybe that was a Dairy Queens I saw.” Rock Lee tried a powerful palm strike, but Vash titled his head out of harm’s way. “No, I would recognize a Dairy Queens when I saw one. Oh, now I’m hungry for Dairy Queens.” Rock Lee tried a spinning hook punch. Vash jumped out of the way. “Oh wait, I’m lactose intolerance.”
Rock Lee managed to land a successful roundhouse kick right into Vash’s abdomen. Vash stumbled backwards. Rock Lee rushed in and performed a nice two punch/axe kick combo followed by a barrage of single-handed punches to the gut. When Rock Lee was done, Vash was on his knees clutching his chest. “What happened?” he said. Rock Lee flashed in front of him and kicked Vash square in the face. Vash rolled backwards in a little ball. He landed flat on his back and grabbed his nose. “You broke my nose, you little runt!” he exclaimed. He sat up with the utmost seriousness in his eyes. He quickly pulled his pair of glasses out of his pants and put them on. In one second, he leaped back to his feet. “What’s with the glasses?” Rock Lee thought. “And why is he looking so serious now? He must have some plan going on. Something complicated. But what?” Vash pulled out a gun and ferociously fired at the young kid. Rock Lee dove out of harm’s way. “That’s his plan?” Rock Lee yelled.
Vash pulled out a second gun, this bigger than the other. “A bigger gun?” Rock Lee murmured, “This is his plan?” But the gun’s fire was faster than Lee had expected. In one single shot, a series of powerful bullets shot right over his head. They cut off most of the top of Lee’s hair. With that, the rest of his hair fell off. The entire world stopped as Rock Lee now stood in the ring, bald as a baby. No one moved. Many people gasped. “MY HAIR!!!!! MY PRECIOUS DOLL HAIR!!! HOW COULD YOU JUST TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME?!!!” Rock Lee grabbed his bare scalp. “DON’T LOOK AT ME!!!” he screamed to the audience. Bobobo began crying most of all.
Rock Lee stood in the middle of the ring; his world now broken. “My trademark hair is gone. Masashi Kishimoto’s gonna fire me for sure.” Vash walked up to the young boy. He kneeled down on one knee and looked Rock Lee straight in the eyes. Lee expected him to say some words of comfort. Instead, Vash said, “Eeeww, bald children are icky.” Vash smacked Rock Lee in the forehead with his gun. Rock Lee grabbed his forehead and screamed, then he grabbed Vash with his right hand and readied his left for a powerful punch. “Hey, you said you wouldn’t use your left hand” Vash said. “YOU STOLE MY HAIR!” Rock Lee blurted through tears. He gave Vash the strongest left hook he had, and the Sixty Billion Dollar Man went skidding across the floor. His glasses broke.
Vash didn‘t like it when people break their promises.
Vash stood up and put on a second pair of glasses. Rock Lee waited no time to rush up to him again and perform another attack. He tried a jumping hook kick, but Vash grabbed him by the face in one swift move. Vash held Rock Lee up to his face, so that they were eye to eye. He starred at the young warrior for a while as he grunted and groaned and tried to break free from his grasp. “Overrated” Vash said just before punching Lee in the gut three times and throwing him head first into the ground.
The announcer began the countdown. “Ten….. Nine…… Eight…..”
“I forgot to return that copy of Weddings Crashers to Blockbuster” Vash thought. A giant sweat drop appeared on his forehead.
“one…. zero! Vash advances!”
“NOOOOOOO!” screamed Bobobo. “That poor hair! It never did anything to you!” he cried. He ran into the ring and held the unconscious boy in his arms. “How can you be so cruel? YAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” He pointed one hand straight up into the air and rocketed into the sky Astro Boy-style.
“Lee….. What will you do without your hair?” Maito Gai said to himself as a tear rolled down his cheek.