This is my rough attempt at sci fi writing. Tell me what you think.
Canopy
-
-
I've read the first third (will do the rest at a later time). I see you're coming into your own style and it shows. You tell the story plainly but thankfully not badly. I like the whimsy of an ant being educated and human as well as being able to reach states of meditation using its nervous system. For now though it I'm only being introduced to the characters and not really much plot, but that could change.
I'll try and get the rest done this week.
-
Read the rest of it. You need to clean up your writing somewhat. Your biggest flaw is that you tend to get redundant with your word usage.
The whale part was neat though and I do want to see what happens with the pupil's subjects in the arena. Keep going is what I say.
Also I would like it if you posted in this thread to announce a new chapter update so I don't have to worry about checking your website over and over.
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
On my walk I thought of three more criticisms:
The Astral Projection power is way too much. Find another way for him to explore the whale.
The scientist jumps from friendly to immoral and Formica from cooperative to rebellious. I think you're trying to make things more complicated than they actually are. It would make more sense if Formica was just straight up Pearson's prisoner and just continuously tried to survive the experiments while also trying to escape.
Try to make Formica's powers peak soon. It probably wouldn't be good if he got more closer to god hood so soon.