Heh, I wrote this OLS fan fic back in 2001. It starts off kind of silly but gets serious (sort of) by chap 4.
Please post so I can continue though, since I don't want to double post :lol:
It's called "Harry and Melfina"
CHAPTER ONE!
Leyline to Namek, to Sentinel 3…
“Harry?â€? Ron said, pissed, “Youâ€re a goddamn Computer Terminal, what the hellâ€s up with that shit!â€?
“Well, brother when I went up and kicked the big dude with the horns, he sorta just hit my arm and well…you know how badly that hurts, Ron, donâ€t you?â€? Harry spouted with tears in his eyes, “Donâ€t you?!â€?
“Shut the hell up, Harry, you know how rugged I am,� Ron spat during his words and pointed up to his rugged scar across his lip.
“But, Ron, look! Iâ€m the Shangri-La, dude, I am a ship! Now what do I do?â€? Harry looked down at his arm and smiled, “Look, Ron, no bruise!â€?
“Shut up, Harry, Hey! I remember that old fart, whatâ€s his name, talking about Dragonballs that grant you wishes, so I guess we need to find this Namek place and wish your body back,â€? Ron said, still pissed, “I wonder where the fuck that place is?â€?
“Ron, Ron, look itâ€s right there!â€? Harry yelled out.
Nearby a sign on one of Namekâ€s moons read: “Namekâ€s right here, idiot, come and make your wish come true!â€?
“Letâ€s go, Ron!â€? shouted Harry.
The Shangri-La slammed down onto the face of Namek, killing a few of the Nameks. Ron stepped out with a wristwatch on and yelled out, “Son of a Bitch! I just got this baby washed, now what the fuck are we gonna do!�
“Ron, I suggest we should go over that hill and find an elite group of fighters with all of the Dragonballs then we should kick their asses and make our wish,â€? Harry said with an evil grin out of Ronâ€s wristwatch.
“Harry, I knew you were good for something!� Ron shouted.
“Just donâ€t let them hit my arm or weâ€re screwed!â€? Harry shouted with fear. “You suck, Harry!â€? Ron spat as he ran over the hill only to find a lone Namek with a huge sign over his little house that read: “Nailâ€s Discount Tour Services, if you canâ€t find it, chances are, neither will I, but if we are lucky, you never know.â€?
Ron got pissed and walked down to see what this guy Nail was all about… “Hello, traveler. Whatâ€s up, do you need my services?â€? Nail asked, stepping out of his door.
“Where the hell are the Dragonballs, you little less rugged dude? Find them for me so I can wish my brother back to his body!� Ron yelled.
“Damn, dude, donâ€t crap your pants now, Dragonballs? Eh… hmmm? Well I guess I could show you where they are… but youâ€ll have to um… what the hell can you do for me? Nevermind. Iâ€ll just show you.â€?
“Okay…hurry up!� Ron yelled.
Nail pointed up to a mountain, “You see that mountain over there? If you squint, it looks like a guy taking a piss.�
“Hey it does, Ron, look at that, WOW!� Harry said with his eyes wide from the wristwatch.
“Iâ€ll be damned… it does, so what about it?â€? Ron looked over at the Namekian.
“Well, from there you should be able to see these five dudes with stylish clothes trying to make their wish on the Dragonballs, but they donâ€t know what to wish for, so they keep playing rock paper scissors but no one ever wins it,â€? Nail replied.
“Oh… okay weâ€ll just go kick their asses and make our wish!â€? Ron replied. Ron slapped Nailâ€s hand and ran over to the mountain which mysteriously looked like a man pissing.
“Freaks,� Nail muttered to himself under his breath…
“Hey, Captain, what are we going to wish for?� Jeice asked in his deep accent.
“I donâ€t know, Jeice, what about you, Guldo? Do you know?â€? the Captain asked with style.
“Hmm… How about 1,000 chili cheese burgers!� Guldo replied, drooling. “Or how about a Fashion Line with a bunch of new duds?� wondered Jeice with a grin.
“Oh, oh! Recoome thinks we should wish for a bunch of video games!� the big oaf said with a glimmer in his eye.
“How about a bunch of frilly panties!� Burter squealed with joy.
The entire Ginyu Force stared at Burter wondering what the hell he was smoking before totally blasting him into oblivion.
“Now, as I captain of…. The Ginyu Force!� Captain Ginyu said with a pose, “we should wish for Hollywood movie careers!�
“That would be excellent, Captain!� Jeice shouted.
“Then we could buy all the chili cheeseburgers we want!� Guldo squealed. “And video games, too!� thundered Recoome.
“Hey, you down there… how about you give me those Dragonballs, and I kill you all?� Ron said with a huge grin on his face after laughing his ass off at these four, formerly five, less rugged freaks…
“Hey, you might have a lot of style, and that scar is pretty damn rugged, but youâ€ll never be able to defeat…. THE GINYU FORCE!â€? Captain Ginyu screamed.
“CAPTAIN GINYU!�
“JEICE!�
“GULDO!�
“AND RECOOME!�
The four men stood in stylish poses ready to kill Ron, as Ron laughed his ass off some more and aimed his Caster at the freaks before him.
“Hey, boys! Guess what, now Iâ€m going to kill you, huh, what whereâ€s my Caster!?!â€? Ron shouted with frustration.
Guldo laughed, “Hey, man, wow this is a nice gun.�
“Hey you give that back, you pudgy little, lovely honey poo bear, WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING!?!� Ron shouted, quivering at his words.
“That was me again, rugged boy. I muddled with your mind! Hehe…â€? Guldo laughed his ass off this time… “Now dance for me, little man, dance like itâ€s 1999!â€? Guldo shouted.
“I love that song, Captain,â€? Jeice remarked, “Guldoâ€s really got a lot of Style pickin†that one,â€? Jeice whispered to Ginyu.
“I myself would have chosen YMCA by those guys who dress up funny, now thereâ€s style!â€? Ginyu whispered back.
“Duh, Captain!� Recoome said out loud.
“What, idiot!� Ginyu shouted.
“The Village People are gay, you know that right?� Recoome echoed.
“But that doesnâ€t mean they donâ€t have S…T…Y…L…E! Baby yeah!â€? Jeice said in his best Austin Powers voice.
“Shut up, you insolent pests!â€? a familiar voice shouted and before long Guldoâ€s head was chopped off easily…
“Now you three should bow down to the Prince of all Saiyans before the rest of you die as well…� Vegeta said, cocky of his power.
“The Ginyu Force will never bow to a Saiyan!� Ginyu yelled, dashing up only to meet the fist of Vegeta plowing through his stomach.
“Never mess with a Saiyan… as for you two…� A bright light came forth and Recoome was dead where he stood. Jeice, not stupid, got his ass out of there real quick. Vegeta turned to see his reward of Dragonballs before him…
“Now, I will wish for immortality! Finally!â€? Vegeta laughed with Saiyan pride… But just then a loud voice echoed from out over a hill… “Daddy! Where are you, daddy? I think Iâ€m having my period again! I need your help!â€? his daughter Bra said happily.
“Oh S~Bleep~!� Vegeta shouted before taking off from the Dragonballs quickly…
Bra was following him closely already in Super Saiyan 2 form from her monthly rage, stopping to wink at Ron, “Hey there, youâ€re cute, and so rugged!â€? Bra said with a teenage girl squeak.
“Thanks, go get your dad now, okay? And tell him Ron and Harry MacDougall said thanks… and tell him it must be hard to have a girl, huh?� Ron said calmly, not wanting to piss this girl off.
“Okay, rugged man!� Bra flew off with a smile yelling out for her daddy. “Poor guy…� Harry said from the watch Ron was wearing.
“Yep… girls are easy at first but then… hoo boy, they hurt,â€? Ron chuckled, “letâ€s see! Hey, Dragon Dude, come on out and grant our wishes!â€?
A spectacular light show ensued and blah, blah, blah the dragon came blah, blah, and asked for their wishes.
“The first wish is for Harry to have his body back with that cool robotic arm!� Ron shouted, grinning.
“Granted, rugged dude…� the Dragon answered.
Harry then appeared next to Ron as normal, the purple bow shining like always. “Thanks a lot, Ron! Youâ€re a real pal!â€? Harry smiled and looked up at the Dragon, “Hey, Dragon, our next wish is to have the Shangri-La washed and to be able to run forever without having to stop for gas!â€?
“Okay, granted… your next wish is?� the Dragon asked.
“Harry, dude… what should we wish for? I say a major business on Sentinel 3 or something, we could make millions!� Ron whispered.
“Okay, Ron, Iâ€ll tell the Dragon. Hey, Dragon, we wish for a Fast-Food Chain on Sentinel 3!â€? Harry spouted out.
“WHAT THE FUCKING HELL, HARRY, NOT THAT!� Ron yelled, but all that could be heard was the Dragon saying, “Granted.� And in an instant they were on Sentinel 3, next to a fast-food joint.
“Dammit, Harry! Why did you wish for that, you fucking idiot!� Ron yelled, slapping his brother.
“Well, Brother, that McDonaldâ€s place is doing great, so why canâ€t we MacDougalls do that, too? Hey thatâ€s it, we can name it “MacDougallâ€sâ€?, Ron!â€? Harry shouted.
“Okay, little brother… why not… well, weâ€ll need to hire some workers for the job, wonâ€t we? Yeah okay letâ€s do it! We'll become so great no one could stand up to us!â€? Ron shouted.
Later that day, Ron and Harry had interviews for their new workers…
“Hello and who are you?� Ron asked the young man sitting in front of him with a sharp red scarf and a fancy trench coat on.
“Hey, Iâ€m Android 17. The ladies say Iâ€m cute, and I have experience with talking to a lot of people, so Iâ€m applying for this here drive-up window job, I have a goo—â€? 17 was cut off quickly by Ron.
“Youâ€re hired!â€? Ron shouted with a grin.
Harry nodded in agreement.
Ten minutes later…
“Hey there, and you are?� Ron said looking at this large woman sitting in front of him.
“Hi there, my nameâ€s Roseanne Stacy, and I like to eat children!â€?
“Weâ€ll call you back,â€? Ron said, scared for his life, writing NO underlined with many exclamation points.
Roseanne Stacy walked out.
“So, she was cute, what do you think, brother?â€? Harry asked with a smile. Ronâ€s face turned pure white before choking his brother unconscious.
Then they were interviewing another person…
“Hello and you are?� Ron said to this unusual kid with a strange haircut and a “Geodude Rulez� T-shirt on.
“Hi, Iâ€m Brock! I want to be a Pokemon breeder, but that costs a lot of cash, so I really need this job! Dude, I can make a mean Double Hamburger, if you want I can even put bacon on it! Please, mister, I need this job!â€?
Ron looked over to Harry, but Harry was still unconscious on the ground. Ron looked at Brock and said with a calm rugged smile, “Youâ€re hired, kid.â€?
After a long day, Ron and Harry had many interviews with many qualified people. They agreed on hiring 17 (as their drive-thru guy), Brock (as the Hamburger flipper and maker), and this French guy with a long blonde mustache named Nappa (to make the French Fries), and Doc and Marty (as their delivery boys) whom they had met awhile back when they needed to kill someone from the past, and Fred Luo, who for some reason could make a mean chocolate shake.
Later that night inside MacDougallâ€s…
“Well, Ron, you know you do need to do this to be able to beat that McDonald guy, and hey you still look rugged in that getup, honest!� Harry said, trying to hide his smile, while Ron stood there in a clown getup, full make-up, rainbow colored hair, red nose, big floppy shoes, and glitter in his rugged scar, and a large pair of yellow pants.
“Iâ€m not going to be Ronald MacDougall!â€? Ron yelled.
“But you have to, big bro, please for me?� Harry pleaded with puppy dog eyes.
“Oh, all right….� Ron replied, not thrilled at all.