I wrote this a few years ago, and have been making small changes to it ever since. I'd really like to get some feedback and opinions from people on it. I was heavily influenced by both Homer's Iliad and the Song of Roland when I penned this, so it is in that style.
It's a bit lengthy, about 8 pages, but has short lines and an easy rhyme scheme to it. The entire poem is in iambic pentameter, not perfect because I'm terrible with the whole stressed/unstressed pacing, but 10 syllables per line almost all the way through.
I put a lot of work into this so I hope you enjoy it! Give me your thoughts! Thanks!
! “The Song of Syan”
! Singers of Heaven, lend your voice I pray
So all may learn of the man with fire’s will
All should hear how he fought on his last day
The valiant sacrifice honored still
! Syan the Fierce fought for so very long
He worked hard, harder than all of the rest
So for him we sing this great battle song
And his glory in all your hearts will nest
! Syan was one of the mighty Dragoons
A warrior race of most obscene clout
Who would make their rivals look like buffoons
Of their strength only fools ever did doubt
! Chosen as the one to lead the whole troop
His power and honor gave him command
Morale of the army would never droop
Because they were guided by his brave hand
! His closest companion was Lance the Skilled
Zack the Swift was a very dear friend, too
Both were Syan’s close allies and strong-willed
Ty, Syan’s dire foe, found hatred anew
! Fueled by his anger, Ty began to plot
Wanting vengeance for not being the top
He planned to kill every one of the lot
He wanted to force Syan’s heart to drop
! Ty believed he was greater in battle
But Syan was the one picked as master
Saying electors knew only prattle
He claimed their dumb talk would bring disaster
! When all of the warriors were attacked
Syan rallied troops and charged with fury
They fought back the villains in a brave act
Little did he know of Ty’s treachery
! Syan sprinted at the front of the pack
Quickly towards the enemy he bound
He drew his saber and yelled out, “Attack!”
And in the battle, victory they found
! The villains had been fiercely driven off
Ty was extremely eager to pursue
Syan halted him and said with a scoff
“They will get the punishment they are due.”
! This statement filled Ty with vehement rage
For he now wanted to slaughter them all
So a betrayal he began to stage
To be completely sure of Syan’s fall
! The warriors were sent off to attack
In act of revenge for the strike they felt
So the enemy’s fortress they would sack
The villains would surely get judgment dealt
! Each of four prongs, a great warrior led
But one of the choices made Syan sigh
Lance led the Blue, Syan directed Red
Gold followed Zack, Silver guided by Ty
! Every group had to destroy a tower
Then get together to take out the fort
But Ty did not wait to show his power
And was easy prey for evil to court
! Ty rushed on towards the highest chamber
Anxious to earn every bit of glory
He feared not any of the great danger
And was ready to leave his foes gory
! The enemies there he prepared to slay
So he held his dagger ready to kill
Ready to get prestige on this great day
Just at this moment, Syan felt a chill
! He then came upon Hargon, the Warlock
Who offered great temptation unto Ty
He gave him power and all of his flock
And with Hargon his allegiance did lie
! Darkness began to revolve his body
And seeped deep into his every pore
So thus began the Dragoon’s tragedy
When Ty turned the battle into a war
! The Warlock mark appeared on Ty’s forehead
Syan soon had the truth come into view
They came upon Ty, who smirked and then said
“With this new strength, I can kill all of you!”
! Ty ran quickly and slashed hard with his blade
Narrowly striking on Syan’s right arm
Syan stepped back with allies at his aid
But Syan had suffered no deadly harm
! “How dare you betray all of your colleagues!”
Yelled Syan to the venomous traitor
“You and I reside in different leagues,
Ranking below you feels like a failure!”
! “I am sick of looking at your weak face
So await the fate I assigned for you
It is time for you to leave from this place
And realize there is nothing you can do”
! They were caught off-guard by the betrayal
And were forced to go into a retreat
Syan did not believe that he could fail
So he swore to avenge this sour defeat
! The warriors had returned to their town
With each of their heads bowed down in such shame
Every warrior’s face wore the same frown
Each one of them felt exactly the same
! They were made to look like pathetic fools
All because of Ty’s horrible evil
They had fought beside him in many duels
Never thinking he was a vile weevil
! Syan above all felt the very worst
For he had never once held trust in Ty
Under the pressure, Syan was immersed
And felt he disappointed every guy
! The elders berated each one of them
But Syan took the brunt of their tirade
Protecting his men like a noble gem
Defamation of his men he forbade
! He gave utmost support for all his men
And put blame only on Ty and himself
He would gladly go to the lion’s den
As long as nothing hindered his friends’ health
! It was soon after that Ty returned home
Entering the land he recently left
He broke in and then stole the elder’s tome
Taking the book in a vile act of theft
! He rustled through the tome’s many pages
To find the treasure hidden deep inside
It held the Dragoons’ knowledge for ages
For which Ty held absolutely no pride
! He wanted to summon the great treasure
The secret, omnipotent Dragon Sword
Having this blade would give him such pleasure
And make all others bow to him as lord
! Lance discovered that the tome was missing
And immediately knew what went on
He signaled for the warning bells to ring
And ordered to find out where Ty had gone
! The warriors spread out in every way
Syan rushing off quickly to the West
It was like finding a needle in hay
But this was the direction in his chest
! Syan’s heart had surely guided him true
For he soon found out where Ty had hidden
Under a tree shining with morning dew
Was the location where Ty had ridden
! Ty was rustling through the entire scripture
Like a man of much avarice and greed
He had no knowledge of what would occur
Syan drew an arrow to do the deed
! The arrow flew directly at Ty’s head
But Ty quickly moved in a fit of joy
Though he should have lain down on the ground dead
He danced all around like a little boy
! Ty noticed not the arrow that whizzed by
Only what was on the elderly page
“For the Dragon Sword, all but one must die”
Was the ritual made by the old sage
! In a newfound fit of maliciousness
Ty readied himself for total bloodlust
Noticing Syan, full of utter stress
To kill him was a desire, now a must
! Syan leaped from his steed with his sword drawn
Swinging with rage at the one he loathed most
Both were quite ready to fight on and on
Wanting to spray blood from the one that lost
! Sparks constantly flew through the thick, dense air
As noble blade clanged against evil blade
Neither of them cared about fighting fair
Only so that justice, in full, was paid
! Syan’s justice was for all mankind’s good
To kill the evil that betrays its friends
He would fight with all he possibly could
To make sure Ty’s nasty betrayal ends
! Ty’s justice was just for his selfish soul
Still sore for not having been made leader
He would battle with his absolute whole
To make Syan fall after a teeter
! One fought selflessly for the sake of all
The other fiercely fought only for one
As warriors, they both stood very tall
And would not quit till the battle was done
! Each one had now felt the sharp sting of steel
And much blood ran crimson red on both sides
But they were trapped within destiny’s wheel
Which will spin forever in heaven’s tides
! Syan parried a thrust and gave his own
Ty blocked it and gave furious slashes
Just the last three hit and made Syan groan
On his arms and chest, he had deep gashes
! Blood spattered upon Ty, who gleamed a smile
Much of the spray fell to Ty’s evil face
Ty swung viciously and laughed all the while
Licking at his lips to savor the taste
! Ty’s confidence was surely far too much
And he gave a heavy slice at Syan
The slice was dodged, and the result was such:
Syan’s sword pierced Ty’s flesh like a lion
! Ty shrieked in pain, screaming so very loud
There was no place the scream could not be heard
In the valleys, the mountains, or a cloud
Every being heard, from man to bird
! Syan cared not about Ty’s suffering
He held his blade firm and swung skillfully
But Ty’s wounds suddenly began healing
And Syan’s strike was now blocked viciously
! Ty laughed, proud of the evil dark power
It would close up wounds that were not fatal
Its vile darkness bloomed like a sick flower
Syan said, “Don’t forget you are mortal.”
! Healed Ty began to dominate the fight
But Syan held on without backing down
Ty was darkness, surely Syan was light
He swam in troubled seas, but did not drown
! Syan put all his strength in one last slash
Ty blocked, but it broke through to his body
From shoulder to thigh, there was a deep gash
Syan fell to anemic malady
! With a load thud, both men crashed to the floor
Each gave every single bit that they had
And each was knocking on heaven’s great door
But what was next to occur was quite sad
! Ty stood again, healed by warlock magic
He lifted Syan and took Syan’s blade
Only Ty wanted something so tragic
Ty spoke, “This is the destiny you made.”
! Ty cruelly impaled Syan through his heart
His own treasured blade made his blood gush out
Out of the hole, the crimson dew did dart
And, jubilantly, Ty began to shout,
! “See, fool! Your loving heart has been run through!
You cared too much and were beaten by me!”
Syan’s eyes brightened with a vision new
He coughed blood and said, “You will never see.”
! “My true heart lives with those I care about
What you stabbed was merely an empty shell
In my heart, there is not a single doubt
That today is the day you go to hell!”
! Suddenly, two swords burst straight through Ty’s chest
They belonged to Syan’s friends, Zack and Lance
Ty was killed, sent to a tortuous rest
For against good, evil has not a chance
! Syan died with all his dearest friends near
And in the village was mourned by each one
From everyone’s eye fell many a tear
But Syan’s final battle had been won
! Upon friends’ shoulders, his body was raised
His memory is honored like a king
Before every battle, Syan is praised
In this requiem that for him we sing