Allright, this was one weird OP dream.
Everything started when a bunch of random characters had found their way to Helsinki which didn't look like Helsinki. Usopp and Blueno were about to start some dodgy mission which goal was to surprise Crocodile and get him re-join their gang. Even if it required violence.
So, Blueno and Usopp took a train and scorched through the city. Then they spotted Crocodile who was weeding a flower-bed (or something but that's what it looked like) and jumped out of the train. They crawled on all fours towards Crocodile and Blueno tried to catch him by surprise but failed miserably, only managing to get a serious trashing. Blueno went out cold, Usopp started bawling like a baby and Crocodile just stared at him with his expression saying: "Wut?"
But Usopp was cunning and used this to his advantage by tripping Croc who had been just standing there. Usopp then threw himself on Croc, thrust a cell phone at his face and squeaked that he must talk with some dumbass right now. I think that "dumbass" was Luffy but I'm not sure.
Croc growled âWhat the fuck are you up to?â but took the phone which only said that the line was busy. Usopp was starting to consider suicide because Croc got more and more pissed but I think they finally managed to call that person since in the next moment Crocodile had decided to accept their offer.
At this part, I took over Usopp although it still was Usopp. I was just kind of borrowing his body, watching the whole thing through his eyes. Crocodile snorted and told me to start moving but I just squealed that we canât leave Blueno. Croc looked like he could care less but went and lifted the guy over his shoulder. We then found some house where Usopp/me broke in to do some freaking undercover work but only managed to reveal himself almost immediately. I crashed into a room where a group of children were playing and they immediately started to scream when they beholded my terrifying Pinocchio face. However, one of the kidâs was involved and she called me a jackass and told me that I was in the wrong room because the guy I was trying to save was in the closet. I obeyed and there my friend was. Well, it was actually my sister who was hung up to a coat hanger by her shirt while she was still wearing it. On top of that, I left her there although I was supposed to save her.
I sneaked back to the front door and saw through some glass door that the other occupants of the house were sitting in a kitchen, eating pasta. Suddenly Crocodile floated through the kitchen (in his sand form) and stole a full meal without them noticing anything. I just huffed in jealousy and went outside. Suddenly all male occupants of the house rushed after me and started to accuse me of pedophilia. Like⊠wut? Usopp/me just made their kids scream because of his scary face. Usopp was about to crap his pants as usual but he still defied them by saying: âMy conscience is pure!â
To that those guys just grinned "Pedophile without remorse!â and started to threaten me with hammers saying that they wonât leave a single bone unbroken.
Suddenly Crocodile walked past us in a slouchy manner, hand in pocket, eyes half-closed, and stopped with his back turned to us. Everyone of those thugs stopped to stare at him and Usopp/me was just thinking: âAHHHH! HELP ME DAMMIT!â
I thought/hoped Croc would kill them all but instead he just turned his coat over, looked at them and asked: âDoes this remind you of something?â
The guys just stared at him for a moment but then suddenly started to cheer like crazy and threw their hammers away. The reverse side of Crocâs coat was a pink feathered one and from this clue those guys apprarently realized that Crocodile is somehow related to Doflamingo who obviously was their greatest idol ever or something. Everyone rushed to shake hands with Croc and suddenly Doflamingo (without his coat) popped out of nowhere and sneaked up to me whispering: âThatâs right!â
He wanted to shake hands with me but for some reason I didnât want to and just stared at what the others were doing. Thugs and Crocodile sat on the ground, drinking booze and suddenly some narrator voice says: "Crocodile had always preferred wines so booze was pretty tough stuff but he was careful to not get totally wasted.â
In this part, I left Usoppâs body. Usopp decided to join their party and in the end, when he was drunk, it was revealed that during this whole stupid ordeal he had developed a major crush for Crocodile. However, I never got to see if he tried to do something about it since this is the part where I woke up =P