Hey man, I know its gonna be long. But if your interested in someones shame. Go right ahead and take a read.
I dont know if this is what can be considered a "Confession" though.
! Ok, I guess I feel like I can share a shitty sob story that I cant live down.
! Ive had feelings for the same girl for the past 5 years. FRom the begining of high school to the end and now when ever I look back, shes always been my biggest regret.
! Everything was always good between me and her at the begining of high school. But over the course of time I wanted to try and play around. Act like I didnt care. I never understood why I did that or ever get why I would even attempt this. We grew very far apart and even to the point of never exchanging words. But I never forgot her. Never wanted to forget her. So one day, like a retard with no backbone, I tell her how I feel. She didnt want to hear it. None of it. I tried texting, I tried calling only to get a "Fuck you" and a couple of texts saying she wants nothing to do with me.
! Ive never been able to live this down. Shes was just the perfect girl in my eyes. Smart, funny, beautiful. Always has been and will be. I miss her personality. But over the years shes changed, grown up and ha done things I never will do. But nothing that terrible, normal things, im just against any type of drug or even drinking, not me. But I mean, its gotten to the point that every girl I meet is put on a comparison chart. No one can be what she was. Just so unique, she was and the fact that ill probably never, ever get to talk to her again. Even though I havent in a while. I just dont know what to do.
! I know where she works and im sure she would talk to me, if i started a conversation. But im just afraid, just like every girl I talk to that eventually. She will get bored of me and I will just have to keep going. Every girl I talk to never continues to talk to me. At the time she did. So she made me feel important, at least to her. I will honestly never forgive myself and I havent wanted to be with anyone else for 5 years. I just miss her. I want to be with her. But I know I cant and im just dying everytime I pass by her work and cant speak to her because im scared of what might happen.
! Shes what one would say "The one that got away".
Im sure theres alot more im missing. Like the fact that in the 2nd high school year she left to another school and area. But she came back in senior year, only to get suspended and leave again. So Kill me.
! And its absolutely kills me. I really do with my heart, miss her deeply and would do anything. Anything! to be with her, and make her feel important and special, and just be happy to be with me.