The Critique Thread

jadiesama

Not quite sure if this should go into the creativity forum, or into the help forum, so if any of you mods out there deem this more helpful than creative feel free to move it.

Ah the Critique. Beloved to those wishing to improve, but a hellish beast to those who think they do no wrong. For those of you who fall into the latter half of this spectrum, this thread is not for you. However if you are one of the former who wish to improve your skills, or just need a second opinion on something you have been working on, this is for you. This is NOT a thread meant for compliment fishing, nor is it for bashing, be it on the content or the piece itself. If you are going to give compliments, give a valid reason as to why you like it, and the same goes if you don't like it. Also, for those of you who will post your art, be prepared to take some critisicms with a grain of salt, as some will be rather scathing, namely from myself if i feel it is neccesary. So go, and post your art.

KamenRiderNeko

ah, this thread is a good idea if people take it seriously! I know I can use some critiques, since I hardly get any as it is… but when I do, I totally appreciate it!

I know I've got some things that...need help XD

Solar Knight

Interesting idea for a thread, I'll be the first to give it a shot.

!

I consider it a step-up in what I've done before, since I'm doing an ORIGINAL POSE. >_>; Thing is, it looks so… flat. And what's up with his left arm?! Is it a tentacle or something? And notice how he doesn't really have a torso shown. Capes work wonders.

Not looking for critique on how to draw Usopp, more of just people in general. Just think of this picture as some guy dress up as Sogeking. :silly:

KamenRiderNeko

ok, now if you just want to learn how to draw people in general, its a good idea to study from real life and look at anatomy books. When drawing though, you should start out with a light draw-through to get everything in place and have a more solid drawing… maybe I can do a draw over for you to show you what I mean...?

taboo

Foreshortening~ ;3

http://www.fotosearch.com/DGT080/aafq001407/

And don't think you can get away with that cape! You still need to draw the torso underneath so that you have an idea where the cloth falls.

Solar Knight

neko, do you mean something like this? Anatomy books are what I'm typically told to look at when it comes to this sort of thing (outta check to see if there's one at my town's library sometime, since school's out). Some photos I have would make for some interesting stuff.

imagines how the cape would be in real life You're right… -___-;

COWMAKAZE

What a good idea for a thread! I'm going to post a couple of test-drawings of Luffy and Foxy that I wanted to get down before starting a project of mine because I want to make sure I got things right.

Luffy - http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/68/luffy5zw.jpg
Foxy - http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/5654/foxy3ap.jpg

I like certain aspects of both of them - I'm proud of the torsos, for example, because I only just recently learned how to better draw them. However, some aspects seem… Off, for lack of a better word. Namely the faces and some other small parts. I would like criticism on them, though.

Oh, and a note about the Luffy one: when I drew it I had no reference to his tatoo, so I made it up. That's why it looks so strange.

(Thanks for pointing out my mistake, taboo)

taboo

Hey guys, I found this nifty little coloring tutorial I think you'd like.
http://www.deviantart.com/view/31051556/

(BTW Cow, you posted the same URL twice)

jadiesama

@COWMAKAZE:

Luffy - http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/68/luffy5zw.jpg

Severe lack of structure. Nothing on his body is lining up correctly. Nothing is symetrical. It appears as if he has no pelvis, and his shoulders are nonexistant. his left arm appears to be growing out of his ribs. Feet are not flat slabs, and should not be drawn that way, nor do the toes overlap when looking at the foot from the front.

lxn

ok what about this?

! [image removed]

jadiesama

@lxn:

ok what about this?
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/35435538/

still more structural problems. Because everything is meant to be a filled black contour you still need to use a basic skeletal structure/stick figure as a guide before you flesh anything out. You made her neck too long for her body, and her head is squashed at the top of the paper. You seemed to be more interested in fitting her on the page than composition.

lxn

thanks for the comment.I will keep this in mind.

taboo

@lxn:

ok what about this?
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/35435538/

For you: http://www.portrait-artist.org/misc/proportion.html :) A crit I have is that your lines aren't very clear, and the focus of the picture is all over the place. Make your darks darker~

lxn

ok! thanks alot for the help taboo .Guess I have to learn how to shade.

COWMAKAZE

@jadiesama:

Severe lack of structure. Nothing on his body is lining up correctly. Nothing is symetrical. It appears as if he has no pelvis, and his shoulders are nonexistant. his left arm appears to be growing out of his ribs. Feet are not flat slabs, and should not be drawn that way, nor do the toes overlap when looking at the foot from the front.

Thank you for the great critique, uninterrupted by cushioning compliments (that was not sarcasm, I'm serious). I honestly did not even notice most of those problems, and I thank you for pointing them out. The left arm only appears that way, however, because the shoulder is drawn very lightly - his arm from the elbow down is what is poking out to the side, not the whole arm. I wouldn't have even looked into most of those problems if you hadn't mentioned them, however, so I thank you greatly.

taboo

I need advice. :/ This piece looked good in my mind, but somehow evolved into this which is totally different… I'm kinda losing interest in it, which bugs me because I'm wasting a good piece of bristol. I need serious ideas on backgrounds, improvements, etc.

!

jadiesama

@taboo:

I need advice. :/ This piece looked good in my mind, but somehow evolved into this which is totally different… I'm kinda losing interest in it, which bugs me because I'm wasting a good piece of bristol. I need serious ideas on backgrounds, improvements, etc.

! http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/7056/scan00010uk.jpg

For some reason i see a desert in the background. Like a really hilly one. The only complaint i have is that the back end of the van looks like it fell off. I think if it wasn't so rounded off it would look a bit more coherent.

Ms. Suave Debonair

I'd love to see some of the other Straw Hats dotted around in the picture. Like, in the van or hitch-hiking something like that.

CosmicDebris

@lxn:

ok what about this?
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/35435538/

Is her right arm coming out of her hip? It should be at the same level as her left shoulder.

Here's another link to help with proportion: http://www.realcolorwheel.com/human.htm

captain usopp

@Taboo: the desert idea is good. What kind of Van is it? Is there a story behind the van? Just trying to brainstorm what kind of environment the van would be in. Maybe some wacky toon town city.

lxn

@CosmicDebris:

Is her right arm coming out of her hip? It should be at the same level as her left shoulder.

Here's another link to help with proportion: http://www.realcolorwheel.com/human.htm

thanks but I just copied from this pic.

jadiesama

@lxn:

thanks but I just copied from this pic.

http://img122.imageshack.us/img122/8864/copyofcopyofajt259lv.jpg

Don't take this the wrong way, but NEVER COPY. EVER. EVEREVEREVER.
You'll adapt very VERY bad habits, especially if you're copying anything by Oda.

lxn

I didnt copy it, I ment I just looked at the screen and started to draw. Is that bad to do fanart? surely no. Dont worry I understand.

jadiesama

you did copy it. it's the same pose and composition. i'm not saying it's bad to do fanart, just to directly copy something is.

CosmicDebris

Copying isn't always bad for practice, but it's important that you understand the anatomy. I can see where her arm goes easier in the original, it looks rather conspicuous in the copy. Oda's females aren't known for being anatomically correct as it is. XD

captain usopp

what jade is trying to say, is that if you want to learn how to draw, you copying/learning from someone who is already drawing people disproportionately.
Sure Oda's drawing is good, but that's because he has studied anatomy and has a great understanding of it. Therefore, he can manipulate the human figure without it looking wonky. That's why artists are ALWAYS practicing life drawing.

though, if you don't care about drawing skill, and it's just fun for you to copy, well go ahead, and make yourself happy. :)

lxn

@captain:

what jade is trying to say, is that if you want to learn how to draw, you copying/learning from someone who is already drawing people disproportionately.
Sure Oda's drawing is good, but that's because he has studied anatomy and has a great understanding of it. Therefore, he can manipulate the human figure without it looking wonky. That's why artists are ALWAYS practicing life drawing.

though, if you don't care about drawing skill, and it's just fun for you to copy, well go ahead, and make yourself happy. :)

isnt drawing fun? im kiding now i know what jade ment, im going to try not to copy.:happy:

DevKimiko

!

Shouldn't have gone for a foreshortened perspective T_T. Having a bit of agony with the picture, still in a bit of a rough stage, but if anyone could point out any glaring flaws that would be lovely.

[edit] Mark 2! Edited slightly thanks to Silveri's comment. Bit 'o foreshortening detail on the belt buckle too.

!

Silveril

the short is too high .. usually the chest+tummy is like 2 times the face ^.^
(so i guess u should do 1.5x the face for the body for perspectiv)

DevKimiko

It's not front-on, if that helps :'D… I was trying for a slightly down-looking foreshortening (As if he were looking up towards the sky and we were looking down on him)

[edit] Ta~ I'll try lowering his waistline a bit to make it more like 1 1/2 heads :)

CosmicDebris

Hm, foreshortening is my enemy. It doesn't look too bad, but I think his body shape would be more of an upside-down triagle. His upper body should be larger and the lower half of his body should recede more. I think it might help to not make the shirt and shorts solid black…it helps to be able to see some structure/lighting/shading anatomy indicators that a big black shape can't show.

Cr4zy

Nice Luffy. This is off topic but:
make this all black and white. The outline is white, and everything else is black. If anyone has the time. There's a Cuban cigar in it for anyone who does it.

lxn

mmmm… i didnt quite get you but like this?

Cr4zy

um close: http://us.yesasia.com/en/ImageGallery.aspx/section-toys/code-c/version-toys/bpo-d7153,a1205194,s5/pid-1004114442/#selection
Like the picture.

DevKimiko

Well, this is the coloured lineart version if it helps to see the individual parts; :3 (Whenever I ink something in PS I use different colours for each layer to tell them apart when editing)

I edited his arm on the suggestion of someone on another forum. Some faint I-should-plan-for-perspective lines are in there too.

taboo

Dev: Erm.. I didn't even know it was perspective-y until you mentioned it. ^^;

It's good to think of the human body as a bunch of stacked pancakes.
http://www.fotosearch.com/THK006/c0024091/

KamenRiderNeko

@Mr.Prince:

Nice Luffy. This is off topic but: [qimg]http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y140/zapetou/Strawhatpiratescopy.jpg[/qimg]
make this all black and white. The outline is white, and everything else is black. If anyone has the time. There's a Cuban cigar in it for anyone who does it.

oh, you mean that you want just black with white lines? i can do that in illustrator X3

and btw that shirt you posted… omg $40?!? dies oh man I wish I could buy that!

kiksq

@Mr.Prince:

um close: http://us.yesasia.com/en/ImageGallery.aspx/section-toys/code-c/version-toys/bpo-d7153,a1205194,s5/pid-1004114442/#selection
Like the picture.

I dont know but is this good enouph.
All i did was take it to ms paint and invert colors.

EDIT: This one is messy but i think its more of what you wanted.

DevKimiko

@taboo:

Dev: Erm.. I didn't even know it was perspective-y until you mentioned it. ^^;

It's good to think of the human body as a bunch of stacked pancakes.
http://www.fotosearch.com/THK006/c0024091/

I think, maybe… I fail at perspective xD;... For this picture anyway.

I kinda see where you're coming from though, some bits don't look perspective-y so it throws the whole pic off. I've scaled back the top-down perspective a little and I think it looks better. I need to re-draw his other arm and the shoulder tassel thing but the inking is mostly done now;

hyakamaru

I hope this thread is not just for sketches. If so, then I apologize.

This is something I made yesterday. The picture quality is not good bcoz I made it with crappy PhotoImpact. I'm redoing this image in Photoshop atm. Just want someone to critique it as to which aspects to improve (aside from picture quality). Muchos gracias.

!
Note: Text says "demenzia.org"

captain usopp

i really love the concept. It's really hard to read though. too much black and white going on there. It's hurting my eyes.

I like the switch from the hard lines of the bar code, to the smooth lines of the stroke on the writing. Maybe instead of adding a white stroke around the text, you could use some other unique white, smooth shape behind the text.

Or, try finding another font. I'd have to see it myself, but something tells me that if the letters were solid black, they would be easier to read. I know it's touch and go with the font though. You want an interesting, smooth font, to act as a focal point against the bar code. (you do have that, just need a different one)

Again. I absolutely love the design concept, but you need people to be able to read it for it to be effective. :)

StrawHatterAlice

Really nice Luffy pic, DevKimiko.

The face and the hands are really well-drawn. I can never make hands look quite right.

I was drawing last night but don't have a scanner, so I can't post anything. They were basically just doodles anyway.

Nice pictures by everyone actually.

(I need to work on not copying pictures Oda drew. I shall try!)

hyakamaru

@captain:

i really love the concept. It's really hard to read though. too much black and white going on there. It's hurting my eyes.

I like the switch from the hard lines of the bar code, to the smooth lines of the stroke on the writing. Maybe instead of adding a white stroke around the text, you could use some other unique white, smooth shape behind the text.

Or, try finding another font. I'd have to see it myself, but something tells me that if the letters were solid black, they would be easier to read. I know it's touch and go with the font though. You want an interesting, smooth font, to act as a focal point against the bar code. (you do have that, just need a different one)

Again. I absolutely love the design concept, but you need people to be able to read it for it to be effective. :)

thank you for the advice! :) I wanted to reply when I finished editing the image. anyway, here it is. I followed your advice and tried to clear up the text so its readable. let me know if there's still things I should tweak, etc.

!

hyakamaru

Okay sorry for double posting, but I had another streak of inspiration yesterday. Altho I'm more satisfied with this than with my previous work in the previous post, I still feel that this image can be better. Just cant pinpoint which parts of it are off.

!

Is there too much text in there? Or not enough? Am I destroying the kanji's integrity by putting text on it? Or what am I missing?

:ermm:

Asami-chan

@DevKimiko:

I think, maybe… I fail at perspective xD;... For this picture anyway.

I kinda see where you're coming from though, some bits don't look perspective-y so it throws the whole pic off. I've scaled back the top-down perspective a little and I think it looks better. I need to re-draw his other arm and the shoulder tassel thing but the inking is mostly done now;

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b258/devkimiko/artage/LUFFY-1-wip-5.gif

I love the drawings on your sig..I'd like to see the whole picture D: specially Luffy <3

Den Den

this is a doodle for a drawing. my problem is that it looks very motionless and uninteresting to me, so hopefully someone can tell me how to improve that…er,the idea was to modify a figure and it should look a bit abstract and i did not intent to draw a cartoon or comic...and it's not finished, the backround is not done yet and the colours are not for sure.

!

KaizokuFan22

this is a concept for a character for a manga i am doing. the problem is the face, arms,legs,or hands never come out right!any suggestion on how I can improve these areas?

!

CosmicDebris

Study the human figure.

http://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Artist-Spiral-Jeno-Barcsay/dp/1402735421/ref=pd_bbs_sr_3/104-6605487-4795930?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1174180918&sr=8-3
http://www.amazon.com/Dynamic-Figure-Drawing-Burne-Hogarth/dp/0823015777/ref=pd_bbs_sr_7/104-6605487-4795930?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1174180978&sr=8-7
http://www.amazon.com/New-Drawing-Right-Side-Brain/dp/0007116454/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-6605487-4795930?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1174181013&sr=8-1

rusashi

It's really disproportional. The eyes aren't even, and the arms should go down to her legs. Just draw a basic stick figure, and a ruler.

Then again, I shouldn't be giving advice, mine aren't much better

!

Like, Ou (the kid) is leaning at an angle, cause I rushed it. And Aleister (the guy) his arms look really weird. I know I'm getting better, but I'm still far, far away from being good.

blacky

Hmh, you should definitely get yourself some kind of book. There are good books about drawing mangas out there. Those manga-drawing books are usually not even nearly as sophisticated and detailed as e.g. the books that CosmicDebris linked, but they are by far sufficient for you to improve quite a lot in a short amount of time. You can probably spend a year or two with those, before you'll need something more professional.

It would for instance help a lot to draw the base lines of your characters before you draw the real limbs… something like this: http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/stuff/port1.jpg . Especially if you're not that experienced, it is helpful to "construct" your characters by using working lines. That would certainly help you prevent quite a lot of mistakes.

Well. One evil trick is also to turn the paper around, hold it to a window or lamp and take a look at the mirrored image. If you have an eye for proportions, you should be able to see a whole lot of mistakes, wrong proportions and wonky lines… but that never changes, even professional drawings have these kind of problems and you should definitely stop that habit as soon as you've reached a level where you truly understand your weaknesses... cause it drives people insane XDD

have fun