Yea, Its a little long, and sometimes the crew seems out of character (especially Robin) but meh, I thought it was funny, just to have them playing a game that only Nami knows the rules for.
We see the Going Merry sailing on the water, The camera pans around different parts of the ship, lastly we come to a round table, each strawhat member sitting around it. Nami riffles a pack of cards and smirks.
Chopper: So are we playing for money?
Nami: It’s the only way to play Doc.
Zoro: I knew it, just a way for you to get easy money.
Nami hands the pack to Luffy, who looks at them dumbfounded.
Luffy: ooo, look, pretty pictures.
Sanji and Usopp crowd around Luffy and grin at the cards, one of Robin’s extra arms takes a card and she looks at it, expressionless.
Robin: I thought you had clean cards….where did they go?
Sanji: Around (Suspiciously) besides, these ones look much better, MELLORINE!
Sanji hoards the cards as Nami snatches them back.
Usopp: So what game are we playing?
Luffy: Snap! I can do Snap!
Zoro: What about Knockout Whist?
Luffy: That’s the one with Rooks right?
Robin: That’s Chess
Chopper: Can’t we play chess instead then?
Sanji: I want to play Strip Poker with Robin-chan and Nami-san. (He giggles to himself)
Nami: No, we are playing a game we can all enjoy.
Luffy: Where is my Rook?
Robin: There are no Rooks in card games.
Zoro: This is just getting stupid.
Nami: Why don’t we just have a nice game of Slippery Jack?
The crew shrug except for Nami and Zoro
Zoro: You guys don’t know Slippery Jack? Nami, they don’t know Slippery Jack!
Sanji: I know strip poker, ok, hands up for strip-poker.
Nobody raises their hand, except for Luffy that is, but he can be excused..
Usopp: Don’t worry, name a game and I’ll tell you the rules, I, the great captain Usopp will tell you the rules!
Robin: How about we have a round of forty-card Drag.
Nami: Good idea!
Nami starts to count the cards
Nami: One, two, three, four.
Luffy: Go Fish!
Chopper: Didn’t we try that last time? We counted the cards, then you got hungry for fish and we had to stop playing.
Usopp: Forty-card drag…that’s the one like Poker right?
Zoro: I thought it was like Pontoon.
Usopp: Robin, you know the rules right?
Sanji: If Robin-chan knows the game, and so does Nami-san, then we’ll play that. Now, give me some of them cards my lovely lady.
Sanji holds out his hand, grinning as Nami ignores him.
Nami: Do you guys know ANY card games? (Annoyed)
There is silence, before Chopper speaks up.
Chopper: I know Pontoon, Rummy, Whist, Knockout whist
Nami snickers in a patronising manner.
Nami: Come on, let’s have a round of Go Johnny, Go-Go-Go-Go
Robin: Fine Idea
Nami: Thank you, I’ll just sort through these.
Sanji: I don’t think I know that one
Zoro: Me either, I think your just cheating us
Sanji: How dare you marimo head! Nami would never do such a thing!
Nami: Everyone knows Go Johnny, Go-Go-Go-Go!
Usopp: Well I don’t and I know loads of card games.
Nami: Yes you do, it’s a combination of Hoover and Eight Men Down.
Robin: I don’t know them ones…
Luffy: Where’s my rook? Or my fish for that matter? You said this would be fun!
Nami: Fine, I’ll just have to teach you all, AGAIN.
Chopper: Is it simple?
Nami: Jacks are worth ten. Kings are worth five.
Robin: Except for one-eyed Jacks which are worth three.
Nami: But we’ll come to those in a minute
Sanji: I don’t think there is any one eyed girls in this deck…
Zoro: See, simply enough, we are getting cheated.
Nami: Round one you get a hand of nine, round two a hand of seven.
Robin: Twos are wild cards.
Usopp: What are wild cards?
Nami: We’ll come to those in a minute.
Robin: Diamonds keep their face value.
Nami: Apart from the King of Diamonds, obviously.
Robin: Obviously, we play in sequence unless you can match a pair in ascending or descending order.
Nami: If you can that’s a Go Johnny, Go-Go-Go-Go.
Robin: You then stand up and shout. “Go Johnny, Go-Go-Go-Go” and you pick up all the cards on the table.
Nami: The winner is one with the most tricks at the end of fifteen hands.
The rest of the crew look dumbfounded, Luffy has dazed off and is occupying himself by trying to count the boards on the floor. Zoro is half asleep while Usopp and Chopper are trying to make pyramids out of their cards.
Nami: ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!?
Nami’s scream woke up everyone as they nodded a little confused. Zoro scratches his head.
Zoro: Yeah….one thing, are Queens worth twelve?
Nami: What Queens?
Luffy: (Complaining) Sanji, go cook me something, I’m hungry.
Nami: Will you pay attention?
Nami hits Luffy hard, he blinks and grins.
Zoro: What do you mean What Queens? The Queens in the pack.
Nami: The pack? What do you mean the pack?
Chopper: I think he means the lump of cards..
Usopp: Yea, the stack of cards
Nami: I don’t understand you
Robin: They mean the deck.
Nami laughs a little too loud.
Nami: Zoro, there is no Queens.
Robin: We are playing with a French pack.
Luffy: Whats a French?
Most of the crew shrug as Sanji fumes a little.
Sanji: Quiet, I’m trying to enjoy myself here, see told you that we should have played Strip-Poker, if you lovely girls want to play it later, you know where to find me.
Usopp: Can’t we just get on?
Chopper: Yeah, we keep trying to build a pyramid but we get stuck halfway, it keeps falling down.
Nami: Right then, whose to lead? I think that’s you Usopp.
Usopp: Just a minute, I’m trying to recall how to start.
Nami: Come on!
Usopp: I’m not sure how to start…
Robin: Why don’t you just put a card on the table?
Nami: Hurry up!
Usopp puts down a card, a little confused.
Chopper: It’s a three.
Luffy: SNAP! I have that one too, look!
Sanji: No, that’s three cards; you look at the number on it.
Zoro: I don’t think this has the same rules as snap.
Robin: A three!? You can’t leave with a three!?
Robin is almost angry.
Robin: This is Go Johnny, Go-Go-Go-Go, not Bamalama-Fizz-Vaj.
Chopper: Robin scares me when she’s angry.
Nami: She’s right, Usopp, next time you play a game, get the rules straight!
Nami collects up all the cards
Luffy: No, I like these ones, they have food on them.
Sanji: Who would have known that meat and women would look so good together.
Nami hands out all the cards.
Nami: Right, start again.
Usopp: OK. OK.
Usopp tries another card. Nami smirks.
Nami: Very interesting. Huit
Luffy: Huit? That’s a fruit isn’t it? Can I eat it?
Zoro: Do you see any fruit around here?
Chopper: I think it may be a number.
Nami: Your turn Sanji.
Sanji: oh, um, Ace in the hole.
Luffy: My Brother is here? Where? Does he have my Rook?
Chopper: Not your brother, he meant the Ace card.
Luffy: Whose Brother are we talking about here?
Robin: I have a three…
A Pause, Nami and Robin look at Zoro
Robin: Well come on then!
Robin: That’s a Go Johnny, Go-Go-Go-Go
Zoro: Oh? Is it?
Nami: You’ve got to say ‘Go Johnny, Go-Go-Go-Go’
Zoro: Go Johnny, Go-Go-Go-Go
Robin: You have to stand up first.
Nami: And say ‘Go Johnny, Go-Go-Go-Go’
Luffy: Zoro! Your so lucky! I wanted to win, can you let me win next time?
Zoro: Go Johnny, Go-Go-Go-Go
Robin: Right, now name your pairs.
Nami: You’ve got to name your pairs.
Usopp: I don’t remember anything about naming pairs.
Chopper: I think it was in between Wildcards and tricks.
Luffy: I don’t remember anything, apart from Go Fish.
Zoro: You didn’t say anything about naming pairs!
Sanji: Good Point.
Zoro: Quiet you, wait, your on my side?
Sanji: No, I’m just pretending that I’m not ogling these cards too much.
Robin: You put down a three, you must have pairs.
Chopper: Why should he have pairs?
Robin: Because that’s a Go Johnny, Go-Go-Go-Go
Zoro looks at his cards as Luffy slams his hand onto the table.
Luffy: GO FISH!
Usopp: Don’t you listen, we aren’t playing Go Fish, we’re playing Bammalamma-Fizz-Vaj.
Robin: Um, no we aren’t.
Luffy: Oh, right…SNAP!
In the confusion Zoro looks at his cards again, Nami stops him.
Nami: You can’t look at them!
Zoro: You mean I’m supposed to remember them?
Robin: That’s the whole point.
Zoro: There was no rule about that!
Sanji: I think there was.
Nami: Look, Jacks are worth ten, kings are worth three.
Chopper: Except for One Eyed Jacks which are Wild Cards
Robin: Obviously, does it need to be dumbed down?
Usopp: I think I remember the rules. Now about those wildcards?
Nami: Yeah, we’ll come to those in a minute.
Zoro: Look! Why can’t we play something simple? You Nami are just making up the rules up as you go along, while Robin here obviously has a book of card games memorised. And why is it always the games only you two know the rules for?
Luffy: I want to play Snap! Or Go Fish! Or maybe Pirates
Luffy: Yeah! We go around being pirates! It’s a lot of fun.
Sanji: We are already Pirates
Luffy: We are?
Usopp: Hey, remember the time when we played tag? That was fun.
Zoro: That wasn’t tag, the real tag doesn’t have these two sitting around rolling a dice every two minutes.
He points to Robin and Nami
Robin: That wasn’t Tag, that was Monopoly, I think
Zoro: What about when you used to put bets on Buckaroo? As I recall, Nami won that too. Why can’t we play hangman or something?
Luffy: I can do that one!
Robin and Nami: Oooohhhhh
Robin: Alright Zoro
Nami: Whatever you say, Zoro.
Usopp: Hangman it is then!
Nami gathers up the cards.
Chopper: Hangman sounds good to me.
Robin hands out some sheets of paper.
Nami: Do you want to do the honours? Or shall I?
Chopper: Go right ahead.
Nami begins to draw out her blanks, she looks up.
Luffy: It’s meat!
Sanji: It’s not meat, its too long to be meat.
Nami: One question?
Nami: Are we playing Canadian rules or Italian rules?