This is my spinoff of one piece. It's sorta a fanfic but sorta not because no characters from one piece are in it, they're mentioned breifly. Here goes nothing:
Grandline, a clear calm day. Almost too calm, there's barely any wind. Its just one of those days. Somewhere out there on the open sea a sailing sloop has been halted by this lack of wind.
HD: "Damn..why'd the wind have to die down! I've been adrift for two days now." he said rather frustrated. Dingo had been experimenting with his EX pill and had become stuck in his light mode.
HD: "Hmm lets see now…I got stuck like this...five days ago. So if it takes as long as last time to run through my system i'm looking for two more days like this. Hopefully the wind will pick up by then." He took a swig from his water jug.
HD: "Ha! Time to make more sea water!" he said with a mischievous grin. Dingo walked up to the edge of the boat a pulled down his neon green shorts alittle.
HD: â€œThe sooner I get this junk outta my system the better.â€?
And just like some kind of incredible bad luck magnet a foreboding Pirate ship began to slowly pull towards the Lupe.
??? Pirate captain: "Ya-har full speed ahead to that there pleasure cruiser! Weâ€ve caught that monster with itâ€s pants down!â€? The grizzled man yelled.
HD: â€œOh son of a bitch! Just my luck.â€? He said hastily. â€œHold up!â€? He yelled at the approaching ship.
The ship pulled along side Dingoâ€s ship.
??? pirate captain: â€œPrepare to board men! He bellowed. â€œPILLAGE!â€?
HD: â€œAlright, all done.â€? he said relieved â€œNow what was that about pillaging my ship?â€?
Red Beard: â€œThe names Captain Red beard, scourge of West Blue!â€? He spat.
HD: â€œHmmm thatâ€s nice, Iâ€m a pirate too.â€? he said lazily, Dingo then pulled a rope that unfurled his sail.
Red Beard: â€œGreat Poseidon's beard! He tried to deceive us into thinking he wasnâ€t a pirate. Heâ€s worse than DON KRIEG!â€? he said aghast .
HD: â€˜Who said I wasnâ€t a pirate? Youâ€re the perverts that where trying to see me take a leak.â€?
Red Beard: â€œUhhh enough talk you lilâ€ barnacle, weâ€ll be taking yer treasure now!â€?
HD: â€˜Why the hell do you talk like that?â€?
Red Beard: â€œI needed a gimmick...â€?
There was complete silence save for the gentle lull of the ocean and a few chattering gulls.
HD: â€œYou wouldnâ€t want my treasure. Its far more valuable than jewels or gold. But its only this valuable to me. To you or any other pirate its junk.â€? He Grinned
Captain Red Beard: â€œ...â€? â€œSo youâ€re telling me that this treasure is of UNIMAGINABLE value?â€? He yelled.
HD: â€œuhhhâ€? Dingo scrathed his head.
HD: â€œSay… Iâ€ve just realized this but why is your beard so crappy?â€? he said pointed at Red beards Pathetic beard that had been shaved haphazardly.
RB: â€œIt was that bastard Black beard!â€? he eyes began to glow with a fiery passion.
RB: â€œIt happened at the Annual Beard Summit whil...â€?
HD: â€œThereâ€s a Beard Summit?â€? He said, face lit up ears perking up
RB: â€œHa-Yup!â€? He said, mood changing instantly from angry to happy
RB: â€œAll the Beards are there, Black Beard, Blue Beard, Green Beard, Yellow beard,
Orange Beard, Aquamarine Beard.â€? He rambled on
RB: â€œAll except White beard though. Not surprised though the oleâ€ bastard never shows, he
always has some lame excuse.â€? the grizzled man walked across the deck
RB: â€œThis time the excuse was that one of the ships in his fleet was downed by some no-name
pirate crew and a valuable Devil Fruit was stolen.â€? He said with a laugh
RB: â€œLike thatâ€d ever happen!â€?
RB: "Alright I've humored you enough, we're gonna pillage you now dog." he said, a touch of malice in his voice.
Dingo yawned once again.
HD: "Mmmm so.. we're going to have some fun now aren't we?" He said with a grin
RB: "MEN! Up at arms!" He bellowed as he stamped his feet on the deck
A voice issued from below.
Crewmate1: "Awww capt' we've been paddling for days!" the exasperated voice said
Crewmate2: "Yeah, we've run outta rum and the food supply is dwindling."
A look of anger washed over Redbeards face.
RB: "What is this MUTINY!?!" he shouted as he withdrew his pistol and shot at the sky.
RB: "No matter, I'll let him take care of it." He said with a smirk
RB: "Hey! Kakera! Get yer ass out here!" he yelled
The door on the main cabin sprung open and out walked a gaunt lanky figure. He looked at Dingo and then at Redbeard. He chuckled.
Kakera: "You called?" he said plainly
HD: "WOW! Is that a real wooden leg?" he exclaimed pointing at Kakera's peg leg
Kakera: â€œMy arenâ€t you the astute one..â€? he said crossing his arms
HD: â€œWell your crew is just FULL of cliches isnâ€t it?â€? he said with a smirk
Redbeard slammed his fists on the railing.
RB: â€œYargh! Thatâ€s it! No more insults, Kakera! Take him down!â€?
HD: â€œAlright , Not much room on my boat though , Iâ€ll come over there.â€? in a flash he leapt over the gap & Redbeard with a backflip.
HD â€œLets go.â€? he struck a battle stance.
Dingo began to circle his opponent, sizing him up.
"This could get alittle dicey." He thought to himself. If only he wasn't stuck in his light mode, Damn!
Kakera: "Hoping I'll get dizzy?" he scoffed. He then crouched down a bit and went for a leg sweep using his wooden leg. Dingo gracefully leapt into the air and onto the crow's nest.
HD: "Heh maybe I over did it, no?" he smirked
HD "Hope that wasn't your best shot." Dingo smugly said
Kakera: "Oh don't you worry about that , little puppy." He said rather coolly.
Kakera looked over at Redbeard , the bearded man nodded his head and grinned a malicious grin. Kakera closed his eyes and began to shake.
HD: "What in the..?" He said, entertained. At that moment a plethora of wooden pikes erupted from the bottom of the crows nest. Dingo was now balancing precariously on the rim his crotch inches away from certain death.
HD: "Yipes!" he yipped. He leapt from the crows nest with a back flip just as the pikes burst higher. He now stood face to face with Kakera once more.
HD: "A moment hesitation and I'd of been plucking splinters out of a very delicate area." He said with a nervous laugh.
Kakera: "Keh, you shouldn't have taken me so lightly pup." the gaunt man sneered
HD: "Lemme guess…"
Kakera: "Thats right, I ate the Uddo Uddo Fruit, Iâ€m a Wood man! â€œ
HD: So youâ€re a pseudo Uddo man?â€? he chuckled
RB & Kakera: â€œENOUGH JOKES!â€? they angrily jeered
HD: â€œAwight awadey. Geeze no need to throw a hissy fit!â€? he Said with a laugh.
RB: â€? Stop holding back kakera, DECIMATE HIM!â€? red beard yelled as he stamped his feet
Kakera: â€œAye captain!â€? and with that wooden hands burst from the floor and grappled dingo pulling him down. Kakera smirked. Wood began to twist around dingo trapping him.
Kakera: â€œSeems like I caught you, puppyâ€? a touch of malice glinted in his eyes
Kakera: â€œNow what to do to youâ€¦.â€? he smirk spread ear to ear.
Dingo: â€œDamn you!â€? he said a tad nervous
Kakera: â€œNot so cocky now eh bitch?â€? he practically spat in his face
Dingo squirmed in his wooden jail, he was to weak in light point to escape, but all hope was not lost. Heâ€d been in tougher jams before. This was one of his worst jams yet though. One does not take a beard lighty he had forgotten.
Kakera: â€œSo, ever been castrated with no anesthetic? â€œ he said while a long slender wood pike grew from his wrist.
Dingo began to laugh
Dingo â€œ Grahahahahahaâ€? He couldnâ€t stop laughing
Red beard: â€œHOW CAN YOU LAUGH AT A TIME LIKE THIS? â€œ He screamed
Dingo. â€œBecause you guys are royally screwed now.â€? he said still laughing
Kakera: â€œThereâ€s no way out of by wood jail!â€? he said with confidence
Dingo: â€œOh yeah?â€? he said with a smirk.
Dingo: â€œHEAVEY POINT!â€?