Tao Pai Pai VS Howard the Duck

CaptainAWB1

VS

ANNOUNCER: â€œPlease welcome our first contender, Tao Pai Pai!â€?
Tao Pai Pai enters the ring
ANNOUCNER: "And the challenger, Howard the Duck!"
Howard enters the ring. The audience boos
CROWD MEMBER#1: â€œIf you donâ€t like us, donâ€t stick around!â€?
CROWD MEMBER#1: â€œGo back to your own planet!!â€?
CROWD MEMBER#3: â€œCook his ass, Tao Pai Pai!â€?
Howard takes a puff of his cigar
HOWARD: â€œOtakus: what are you gonna do with â€˜em?â€?
TAO PAI PAI: â€œ….....You certainly have no reason to participate in this tournament.â€?
HOWARD: â€œYa, Iâ€˜ve been hearing that a lot lately.â€?
TAO PAI PAI: â€œLet me tell you now, duck, no matter how good you think your plan is, you cannot beat me.â€?
HOWARD: â€œI donâ€t need advice from you, hairless ape.â€?
TAO PAI PAI: â€œIf you hate humans so much, then explain Beverly Switzler.â€?
HOWARD: â€œI donâ€t know how you know about her, but sheâ€s different than the rest of you brutes.â€?
TAO PAI PAI: â€œYou imply that I am a brute?â€?
HOWARD: â€œYouâ€re a damn assassin! All you do is kill, kill, kill, and donâ€˜t give a damn about who you have to kill, like that red frog did in the previous round. Remember how the bastard assassinated that poor child in the most bloody way? Youâ€re all alike, and youâ€re all brutes in my book, pal.â€?
TAO PAI PAI: â€œI am wasting my breath on you.â€?
HOWARD: â€œI was about ready to say the same thing.â€?
DING
TAO PAI PAI: â€œHmmp. You are hardly worth my time. I will defeat you with my eyes closed.â€?

The Poll will be up shortly.

warp

Wow ill vote for tao pai pai because he's cool but howard the duck seems like a jackass

Usopp with a Pushpop

As much as I love Howard, I gotta go with Tao. He's just so awesome!

KatanaJon1.1

This is serious, right?

Tao Pai Pai.

CaptainAWB1

Polls up. (Do I even have to say who I voted for?)

@warp:

Wow ill vote for tao pai pai because he's cool but howard the duck seems like a jackass

He can be that at times.
@KatanaJon1.1.:

This is serious, right?

Are you reading it? If you are, it's real.

warp

Maybe the reason im liking howard so much is cause your writing is really good captain keep it up

CaptainAWB1

Thanks, warp. :happy:

taboo

I find talking animals amusing. But I find chinese fighters cool. Hmm.. who to choose.

Malintex_Terek

…

I see a dead duck.

CaptainAWB1

Hey, Howard had to exit this tournament sometime. I was actually hoping he would lose (I'm running out of ideas for the guy).

rice-a-roni

I voted for the assasin guy. What anime is he from?

CaptainAWB1

He's from Dragonball and Dragonball Z.

Onigumo

I was going to vote for Tao Pai Pai, because I HATED the Howard the Duck movie, but the dialog changed my mind. (Is the comic any good, or does it suck too?)

CaptainAWB1

It's a great series. Social humor and commentary is the series' heart (Howard ran for President). Howard has a unique viewpoint on Earth which is cool, plus genre parodies (Master of Quack-Fu).

Ivotas

Finally a fight I can actually vote on. Vote goes out to Tao Pai Pai. Who else?

Green Hair

The greatest DB villain gets my vote.

Usopp with a Pushpop

Tao Pai Pai closes his eyes and leaps into the air, only to disappear a few feet off the ground.

Howard looks around trying to locate Tao, "Damn hairless ape, where did he go?"

Suddenly, Tao karate chops Howard in the back of the neck. "Waugh!!", yells Howard as he skids across the ring floor. Just as Hoawrd is about to skid out of the ring, Tao appears in front of Howard once again and kicks him in the face. Howard flies through the air and lands hard on his back in the opposite corner of the ring. Howard coughs as he forces himself to sit up. "Damn it…"

Tao walks up to the sore Howard sitting on floor, "Any last words before I finish you off?"

Howard calmly reaches into his raggy coat and pulls out a fresh cigar and his lighter. He puts the cigar in his mouth and lights it. He takes a puff and blows it into Tao's face. "Yeah, I got a lot to say. You damn Japanese manga freaks are taking away all the fame and glory from us American comics. For decades, American comics were what kids and teens read. We were huge! But then you damn Japanese hippies showed up. Now all kids and teens want to read is manga manga manga! Your own country wasn't enough for you? You gotta infect the rest of the universe with your garbage? You make me sick!" With that, Howard throws his still burning lighter at Tao. Tao steps to the side and the lighter zips past him.

Tao smirks lightly, "That was quite a speech. I commend you for making your last moments worthwhile, rather than begging for your life like a weakling."

Howard stands up and stares Tao in the face. "Shut up. If you're going to kill me, get on with it. That's all you brutes do anyway."

Tao's smirk fades away and he becomes serious again, "Very well."

Tao kicks Howard in the chin. The kick sends Howard flying upwards, almost touching the ceiling. Tao takes a few steps forward into the spot where Hoawrd was standing just miloseconds before. Tao stretches out his arm above his head with his fist extended. Howard falls right onto the fist. Tao's fist travels through Howard's chest and comes out the other side. "Beverly", whispers Howard with his last dying breath. Howard's body goes limp.

–TAO PAI PAI ADVANCES!!!!--

Tao throws Howard onto the ground. "Pathetic, I hope my next match is much more of a challenge." Tao exits the ring.

One audience member turns to his friend and says, "As much as a jackass that duck was, it's kinda sad to see him go like that."

CaptainAWB1

Thanks for stepping in for me, Pushpop.

Excellent ending. I knew you would write something good.
(And sorry for the late reply)

rice-a-roni

That was a great ending. Totally badass