"HOLY SHIT THERE'S THE DOG, TURN AROUND!"
"I CAN'T! I CAN'T OH SWEET MARY MOTHER OF GOD IT'S COMING!!!"
"AIM THE GRENADE LAUNCHER UP SO YOU CAN HIT IT IN THE AIR!"
"I'M TRYING! OH SWEET JESUS WHY DO YOU HATE ME!"
This whole exchange reminds me of a guy who I went to high school with.
He was telling about how there were these little green monsters in Resident Evil (I can't recall the name as horror games aren't my thing) and how hard the little bastards were to kill.
Here's the story as he told it best as I can remember:
"There's this one monster that I really hate; he's green and has really sharp claws. The little bastards won't go down easy either and are kinda hard to hit as they're not that big. I usually run away from them if I can, but you get cornered by them fairly oftenly. If so, they run up to you and WHACKWHACKWHACK your ass is dead. I hate those little bastards.
There were times where half of my time playing it was "DIE, DAMN YOU! DIE!" Then WHACKWHACKWHACK! I'm dead. I'd restart to the last save point. WHACKWHACKWHACK! Restart. "Why won't you please die?" WHACKWHACKWHACK! Restart. WHACKWHACKWHACK! Dead again, restart. WHACKWHACKWHACK! YOU SON OF A BITCH!
So there's this secret gun that you can find called the Cobra; a really powerful revolver. So I get it and roam around until I come up on one of those green sumbitches and shoot him. BAM! One hit kill and I'm like "Ohhhh, yeah."
Then I play for a little while longer and here comes another one. So I whip out the Cobra, let him get really close, and shoot him at point blank range. Bastard keeps coming at me this time, so I shoot him again. WHACKWHACKWHACK, blagh, I'm dead. I hate those little bastards."