I really feel for you starla! You've been so nice to me and all of us! Nice people like you shouldnt suffer like this.
Confession Session II
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It really pains me to hear all this, Starla. I wish you the best of luck in therapy and in sorting out your housing situation.
Hopefully, before long, you’ll begin to worry less about what other people think of you. Know that you have friends here who do care about you and want you to take care of yourself as best you can.
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I really feel for you starla! You've been so nice to me and all of us! Nice people like you shouldnt suffer like this.
Oh, I see! Yeah… I do have low self esteem too, so it is hard for me to see that I'm a good and nice person. Especially with my current situation.
It really pains me to hear all this, Starla. I wish you the best of luck in therapy and in sorting out your housing situation.
Yeah, I have been trying to go out more to avoid the noise, but it is hard regardless because I'm not good at going out much.
Hopefully, before long, you’ll begin to worry less about what other people think of you.
I do agree with you. I think too much of what others think of me. I think it is because I want to be loved and cared for.
Know that you have friends here who do care about you and want you to take care of yourself as best you can.
I understand. Thank you!
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I feel like there is nothing in this world for me. Even momentary distractions don't work anymore. Everything is just shit. How do you deal with life when literally nothing interests you and you have no hope of it ever getting better? It's becoming unbearable.
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@The:
I feel like there is nothing in this world for me. Even momentary distractions don't work anymore. Everything is just shit. How do you deal with life when literally nothing interests you and you have no hope of it ever getting better? It's becoming unbearable.
well, from someone whos been/who is therea, that sounds like a deeply rooted depression.
OP and its messages about treasuring what we have while reaching for more and slowly building our own place in the world is actually one of the things that, usually, helps me. But from your post seems like not even these little things are helping now.I started going to therapy a year ago and its been real helpfull, if thats not a possibilty for you rigth now, then I hope knowing that someone here can relate and cares about that helps a bit.
Thank you for sharing your troubles and keep us posted, brother
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I have the best dog in the world.
Not just right now, but past, present and future…..the best!
I'm sorry if this news has shattered your world.
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I have the best dog in the world.
Not just right now, but past, present and future…..the best!
I'm sorry if this news has shattered your world.
Unless he does "I'm Batman" impression over a busted sound system I call objection.
And I have the proof:
[hide]
[/hide]
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The first time I heard the phrase "Black Air Force energy" I thought it meant black people in the Air Force. I didn't know it was a shoe.
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Unless he does "I'm Batman" impression over a busted sound system I call objection.
And I have the proof:
[hide]
https://i.imgur.com/Oseq7pu.jpeg
[/hide]Brings a whole new meaning to the word 'subwoofer'.
I'm not sure about batman, she's more of a spicy noodle.
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Anyone has tips for how to stay focused on your job?
Lately I've had extreme troubles staying focused, to the point I think I put in maybe an hours worth of work across a seven hour period. It drives me insane since I love my workplace - the people are nice, the work hours are great and I get paid well. I couldn't ask for more and I WANT to do good work. But I'm scared if this keeps up it might become a problem.
And it's such stupid stuff that pulls me away, like being drawn to forums, social media or videos (not right now, I'm off work!). I've tried putting up site blockers, it only works so much. The most efficient thing is working at the office rather than home, but currently it's too hot there. I don't know how much of this is a problem of me lacking self discipline or if there's something deeper at play, which makes it hard to know how to tackle it - if it's the former, I should push myself harder, but if it's the latter, doing that risks making it worse.
And I guess it frustrates me that I can't tell how much of this is serious and what's just... "git gud" so to speak.
Like on one hand I wanna blame the heat and humidity and say that I have a hard time working when I can't breathe properly. Or I think "well, there's some stress going on with my family, that'll affect things so don't be too hard on yourself and focus on de-stressing". Or ponder whether the shift from studying all my life to having my first real job is harder than I thought. But at the same time I feel like I'm reaching for excuses to make myself feel better. I'm also aware you have different levels of productivity. If it was just once or twice I'd be okay with it, but it's felt like this 50-70% of the time the last few weeks.Or maybe I should just finally call a psychologist and have myself checked for any mental disorder, because I've had suspicions for years. I just gotta get around to writing down what I feel I'm suffering from because I sure as hell can't describe that up front. But then again getting around to writing it is something I never get to because it's like my mind is seeing a huge obstacle and decides it'd rather do something else, which is one of the many things that's making me suspect there's something up in the first place.
It's like, hell, I almost screwed over my portfolio because of this stuff. And I completely screwed over my portfolio and a potential career a few years back because I couldn't get a single thing done despite being more than capable of producing stuff. Give me a mentor and clear homework and my productivity is through the roof, tell me to do it myself and my brain goes on vacation. It's so frustrating and I hate how I don't know if it's my own fault or if my brain is screwing me over. Or maybe it's both.
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@Zar Regardless of whichever tools you use to keep on task, if you feel like a check in with a psychologist is a good idea- do it. They know their stuff and will evaluate you, it’s extremely beneficial.
As for keeping on task at work, to be honest, deadlines/knowing when my boss will check in is my biggest motivator, cuz otherwise I’m procrastinating like hell.
Are you working on a project? Is it a daily/weekly task? If it’s a project, I’d map out a task list and then plot daily/weekly goals before a deadline on a calendar.
If it’s daily/weekly tasks, a checklist! Then as long as you’re completing the list you can feel fine about a lil extra internet browsing.
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@Femme Thanks for the reply!
We got a pretty fantastic checklist system, but I'm thinking of making it into even smaller tasks for myself. So there's bite-sized goals I can continuously work towards. Having something I can complete in 15 minutes will be a lot easier than 1h ones. I think I'll also try focusing harder on "task first, then fun stuff". Currently I think I got those two switched around and that's not good.
And full agree on having someone check in on you. Some while ago I tried livestreaming my work even if nobody was in my digital office, with the reasoning that it then feels like "I'm being watched" so I'm less likely to slack off. Maybe I should start doing that again.
That might be an overarching reason why I'm feeling so dull actually. The entire project is in a bit of a slow phase due to summer vacations and stuff, and at least in my department there isn't a big goal or any form of customer feedback. That... might explain a bit.
And getting more and more certain I will book that psychologist meeting. I mean, there's nothing to lose. Either turns out there's something going on and I can start treating it, or there's nothing major and I can relax on that front and focus on self improvement.
