Confession Session II

[Prismeru]

@Demon:

So, last night I went on a small Robin Williams spree which ended up gravitating over to Aladdin which turned naturally into a bit of a Disney-spree. I wasn't watching whole films, just my favorite songs/parts, and then I got to Reflection from Mulan… that song hits me really hard... so I spent about 20-30 minutes last night bawling my eyes out after it which ended with me going into my mom's room to hug her for accepting me.

I feel slightly ashamed that I've seen Mulan about 1000 times and therefore heard the song about 1000 times but this still happened somehow...

You should never feel ashamed of what you feel! Great works cause that! Never feel bad about it! Be grateful of the possibility of feeling! Being able to move, to feel, to bawl, to be petty is what being human is all about! I still sob even if i just remember some of the great things i've read! It's beautiful that you can still feel that way! Be proud of it!

[Satsuki]

@Demon:

So, last night I went on a small Robin Williams spree which ended up gravitating over to Aladdin which turned naturally into a bit of a Disney-spree. I wasn't watching whole films, just my favorite songs/parts, and then I got to Reflection from Mulan… that song hits me really hard... so I spent about 20-30 minutes last night bawling my eyes out after it which ended with me going into my mom's room to hug her for accepting me.

I feel slightly ashamed that I've seen Mulan about 1000 times and therefore heard the song about 1000 times but this still happened somehow...

NEVER be ashamed of giving into Disney Feels! That is what makes Disney so amazing!

[Noqanky]

@Demon:

So, last night I went on a small Robin Williams spree which ended up gravitating over to Aladdin which turned naturally into a bit of a Disney-spree. I wasn't watching whole films, just my favorite songs/parts, and then I got to Reflection from Mulan… that song hits me really hard... so I spent about 20-30 minutes last night bawling my eyes out after it which ended with me going into my mom's room to hug her for accepting me.

I feel slightly ashamed that I've seen Mulan about 1000 times and therefore heard the song about 1000 times but this still happened somehow...

Lol, so it's not just me xD

There's something about that Mulan song that just makes that song awesome to repeat and cry on over and over again. Good times.

[Satsuki]

Writing songs that make you cry every time you watch/hear them is Disney's specialty. I dare you to watch/listen to Baby Mine or Feed the Birds and not tear up.

[wolfwood]

Dunno about Disney songs, but Hurt by Johnny Cash always gets to me.

[hosemisnuba]

My life sucks ass. That's about all I can say. So much bad shit has happened recently, that lately, all I feel I can do is give the world a middle finger, sit back, and let time pass me by. I guess I should stand up do something about it, but, to tell the truth, I don't really want to.

[Prismeru]

@hosemisnuba:

My life sucks ass. That's about all I can say. So much bad shit has happened recently, that lately, all I feel I can do is give the world a middle finger, sit back, and let time pass me by. I guess I should stand up do something about it, but, to tell the truth, I don't really want to.

[ShinigamiKing]

I'm actualyl kind of anxious to tell my parents I wanna quit football.. they well rage… lol

tbh, I don't know why I'm not enjoying it. Is it the fear of scrutiny and yelling by the coahes? Is it just not enjoyable? Is it anticipation of knowing that on this play, I'm gonna get overpowered?

--- Update From New Post Merge ---

@hosemisnuba:

My life sucks ass. That's about all I can say. So much bad shit has happened recently, that lately, all I feel I can do is give the world a middle finger, sit back, and let time pass me by. I guess I should stand up do something about it, but, to tell the truth, I don't really want to.

Try to get in a relationship or gain some good friends. They give you something to look forward to at least. (if you're feeling suicidal, that is)

[shinpanman]

Well, I confess that I am feeling really sad and lonely now. It would be nice if I had some kind of motivation to distract me from my loneliness but I'm just not very driven towards anything right now and that makes me sad. Feels empty. Hopefully upcoming travels will yield inspiration and happy thoughts.

[ShinigamiKing]

@shinpanman:

Well, I confess that I am feeling really sad and lonely now. It would be nice if I had some kind of motivation to distract me from my loneliness but I'm just not very driven towards anything right now and that makes me sad. Feels empty. Hopefully upcoming travels will yield inspiration and happy thoughts.

can you please tell more? like about why?

if that's okay with you, that is.

[shinpanman]

Mostly because life after a long term relationship where you held out hope for so long is sad. I can't open up easily to anyone so it's like a part of me is lost even if I'm still the same person. I'm also bad at making new friends. And good at making excuses.

[ShinigamiKing]

I have empathy/sympathy for you, even though I've ever been in a relationship. I can't imagine what it would feel like to be in a long term relationship with another half, just for it to break up completely.

Do you live or work in a social environment? Trty to reach out. Go to conventions. One of the best way to start up friendships is to go to a place of common interest. Hopefully some of them are outgoing.

[Purple Hermit]

@shinpanman:

Mostly because life after a long term relationship where you held out hope for so long is sad. I can't open up easily to anyone so it's like a part of me is lost even if I'm still the same person. I'm also bad at making new friends. And good at making excuses.

Sometimes when you get out of a relationship, it hurts and takes awhile to heal and really move on. Like, a real long time. But time heals all wounds, and soon enough you'll be a lively and spry Shinpanman hitin' the dating scene (unless you don't, which is fine, too). Some people take a few months, others take longer, but you can be certain that this too shall pass.

In the mean time, you've got the community here to back you up. PM me or anyone else if you feel that sort of loneliness aching. Sometimes we just need to let it out to make ourselves feel better.

[Satsuki]

@ShinigamiKing:

I'm actualyl kind of anxious to tell my parents I wanna quit football.. they well rage… lol

tbh, I don't know why I'm not enjoying it. Is it the fear of scrutiny and yelling by the coahes? Is it just not enjoyable? Is it anticipation of knowing that on this play, I'm gonna get overpowered?

Well, the first question I guess is: Do you LIKE football?

[Purple Hermit]

Yeah, I mean seriously. If you don't like it, then just go into what's fun for you and branch out from there.

[Prismeru]

@shinpanman:

Mostly because life after a long term relationship where you held out hope for so long is sad. I can't open up easily to anyone so it's like a part of me is lost even if I'm still the same person. I'm also bad at making new friends. And good at making excuses.

Well, opening up can be a long process for some (it's different for everyone) so don't feel bad or excluded cause of that. And like they say you can talk to people in AP. I've heard there are some pretty cool cats around here :3

You know guys, like cats in the 60's? When they used to call cats to whoever….where is everybody going?

(But seriously if you ever feel like talking you can reach to people in here. Me, Outerspec, Purple Hermit, Little Sam, Old Johnny, that guy and uh...that other guy).

Shinigami, just tell your parents you hate football. They should respect who you are.

Also if anyone reading this is feeling down i recommend listening to cool music. This one is a favorite of mine (Franz Ferdinand <3):

[shinpanman]

@ShinigamiKing:

I have empathy/sympathy for you, even though I've ever been in a relationship. I can't imagine what it would feel like to be in a long term relationship with another half, just for it to break up completely.

Do you live or work in a social environment? Trty to reach out. Go to conventions. One of the best way to start up friendships is to go to a place of common interest. Hopefully some of them are outgoing.

@Purple:

Sometimes when you get out of a relationship, it hurts and takes awhile to heal and really move on. Like, a real long time. But time heals all wounds, and soon enough you'll be a lively and spry Shinpanman hitin' the dating scene (unless you don't, which is fine, too). Some people take a few months, others take longer, but you can be certain that this too shall pass.

In the mean time, you've got the community here to back you up. PM me or anyone else if you feel that sort of loneliness aching. Sometimes we just need to let it out to make ourselves feel better.

@Prismeru:

Well, opening up can be a long process for some (it's different for everyone) so don't feel bad or excluded cause of that. And like they say you can talk to people in AP. I've heard there are some pretty cool cats around here :3

You know guys, like cats in the 60's? When they used to call cats to whoever….where is everybody going?

(But seriously if you ever feel like talking you can reach to people in here. Me, Outerspec, Purple Hermit, Little Sam, Old Johnny, that guy and uh...that other guy).

Arlong Park is good people. Really, thank you guys for the concern and kind words. Just knowing I can unload some of my troubles here occasionally without any judgement has always been nice.

Pretty sure I will be just fine, but getting through this particular stage has been a little tough.

BTW, I liked that song Prismeru. It has a relaxing vibe.

[Prismeru]

@shinpanman:

BTW, I liked that song Prismeru. It has a relaxing vibe.

Prismeru puts his hand overs his mouth so he doesn't talk like three whole hours about how Franz Ferdinand it's his favorite band and it's so awesome. Like Chocolate-awesome

Yeah, it's a great song :3

[Demon Rin]

@shinpanman:

Arlong Park is good people.

Agreed.

Thanks to everyone who provided kind replies to my post too. A LONG time ago, I went through some REALLY major stuff in my life and went to a VERY dark place. I've since gotten help and pulled out of it, but it's still a fact of my every day life and Reflection from Mulan is pretty much EXACTLY describing what the major issue was. You just have to change like 1 or 2 words in the song for it to fit.

Hearing it makes me cry my eyes out, and part of me is a bit ashamed it's STILL Able to get that kind of reaction out of me after it's been literally YEARS since I've been in that place, as well as about the 1000th time I've heard the damn song lol.

@shinpanman:

Pretty sure I will be just fine, but getting through this particular stage has been a little tough.

You will be fine. I'm not gonna tell you you shouldn't be hurting on this or that it'll go away overnight. What you're going through is NEVER easy, EVER. So don't feel like you're alone in feeling the way you do, everyone has gone through it at some point. The pain DOES go away over time and you will heal, guaranteed. ^_^

[joekido the Second]

@shinpanman:

Arlong Park is good people. Really, thank you guys for the concern and kind words.

Yeah but I kinda miss the Arlong Park before 2008 when it was full of assholes. Tried to fit in that crowd but failed. People gotten nicer here.

[ShinigamiKing]

@Satsuki:

Well, the first question I guess is: Do you LIKE football?

I like watching it.

I like playing it intramurals. But I don't have the edge to practice for 4 hours daily, getting hurt, sucking at it, and feeling like it's not really worth it.

My parents want me to do it because colleges eat up students that are involved in extra-curricular activities/clubs. And there's not that much of those in my current high school.

–- Update From New Post Merge ---

Oh yeah, a morel light-hearted post this time.

I might have mentioned it before, but I have to mention it again: Teachers over-analyze books to HELL.

We read the short story "A Sound of Thunder" by the great Ray Bradbury. I don't' feel like typing a summary so look it up yourself on Wikipedia you lazy plebs.

so anyway, the teachin' person says "this story is about how technology can cause us to go backwards affect our society. It teaches the danger of technology, and "..

OR, YOU KNOW, IT COULD JUST BE A REGULAR BUTTERFLY-EFFECT STORY WITH NOT MUCH OF A FOCUS ON POLITICAL/PHILOSOPHICAL/SOCIETAL THEMES, YOU DORK.

it's like they come up with something, and then say "hey students, this right here; this is it, this the real truth behind this brahs".

Eff that. I probably still got a good grade on the quiz though.

[valiantt]

@ShinigamiKing:

OR, YOU KNOW, IT COULD JUST BE A REGULAR BUTTERFLY-EFFECT STORY WITH NOT MUCH OF A FOCUS ON POLITICAL/PHILOSOPHICAL/SOCIETAL THEMES, YOU DORK.

Ahhhh high school, I remember when I used to think like this. I would be like "WHY CAN'T WE READ BOOKS TO ENJOY THEM? WRYYY?" Oh those were simpler times.

[Prismeru]

Those damn sexy, charismatic, hell-of-a-kisser's damn Literature majors that over-analyze stuff. DAMN THEM TO HELL.

[Noqanky]

I never got English classes like those. It would just lead to those annoying moments when some random know-nothing snob would start overanalyzing everything to shit and giving huge speeches about how Hamlet this and Neruda that, and everyone with an actual brain in the class knew it was complete bullshit designed to sell a last-minute essay.

And everyone says "no, you're wrong dude" and everyone knows the person is wrong, but they are so adamant and keep going. The teacher, because who knows why, responds "I guess I could see that" and gives them a grade. Bullshit.

Nothing gave me more pleasure as a teacher than calling bullshit on students. Just because a teacher is supposed to be supportive and encouraging of ideas doesn't mean they should let pretentious students take advantage of it to derail the class and waste everyone's time.

/teacher rant

[Purple Hermit]

Relevant: http://www.theonion.com/articles/guy-in-philosophy-class-needs-to-shut-the-fuck-up,1804/

[ShinigamiKing]

@Noqanky:

I never got English classes like those. It would just lead to those annoying moments when some random know-nothing snob would start overanalyzing everything to shit and giving huge speeches about how Hamlet this and Neruda that, and everyone with an actual brain in the class knew it was complete bullshit designed to sell a last-minute essay.

And everyone says "no, you're wrong dude" and everyone knows the person is wrong, but they are so adamant and keep going. The teacher, because who knows why, responds "I guess I could see that" and gives them a grade. Bullshit.

Nothing gave me more pleasure as a teacher than calling bullshit on students. Just because a teacher is supposed to be supportive and encouraging of ideas doesn't mean they should let pretentious students take advantage of it to derail the class and waste everyone's time.

/teacher rant

This.

and that reminds me of something:

WHY THE HELL DO TEACHERS NOT PREPARE YOU FOR WHAT'S ACTUALLY GONNA BE ON THE TEST.

We had a history test today, and some of the stuff we that we paid a lot of attention to wand were told to beware of on the test _wasn't even on the tes_t. Instead, there was this essay section of the test that was based on something we studied before we really started reading the chapter, and that we literally never talked about since. It wasn't even brought up when we were getting ready for the test.

What the hell does that accomplish? Like, how does that help a student out in anyway? Why are you setting me up for failure? And the worst part? The teacher was saying how she was still figuring out how to design the test the day before we took it. So half the shit she prepared us for could have potentially been useless.

I've never been more infuriated with a test like this in a long time.

What the hell?

[Prismeru]

Uh, i've always sucked, like really sucked at seeing what kind of affection people has towards me.So, I think my neighbor has a crush on me. I've had the suspicion for the past months (how he talks towards me, waits in the parking lot to see me, well i think) and he just came to the apartment with some chocolates as a gift. I think i'm still blushed (i'm a sucker for people that does this little details. Like really bad). It looks like he wanted to enter and told me he was alone in his apartment. I didn't let him in cause right now my apartment is still a mess and i have books all over the place and i feel bad about it.

But i don't want to break his heart if he indeed has a crush on me Dx. And worst of all a girl is coming tomorrow. I wouldn't want him to feel bad about that. The girl is cool cause we just have sex time from time with no strings attached but i worry about me making other people feel bad. I don't want that. I know how that feel and it sucks :( And well….apart from that, i don't see myself with him :/

But maaaan, those chocolates. I tell you, i'm a sucker for those small attentions. It doesn't have to be gifts but i loved them. That was nice :3

[ShinigamiKing]

So I've been having aches and pains from football practice (including consistent neck spasms whenever I yawn).

But today my PCL or MCL (I don't know, it was just left of my right kneecap) got crush by another person's knee.

When it happened I immediately lost balance a bit. No one really took it seriously for some reason. I can't walk that great without a little discomfort. Definitely don't want to imagine running or falling down…

But hey, at least I can quit football now, right?........

[Satsuki]

See a doctor! Immediately! Knee injuries are nothing to sneeze at!

and yes take advantage and quit football . . . . .

[ShinigamiKing]

@Satsuki:

See a doctor! Immediately! Knee injuries are nothing to sneeze at!

and yes take advantage and quit football . . . . .

I'm doing so tommorrow, thankfully.

Wanna the best part? I can quit after this, but still be able to say "I was on the football team" for college.
i think

[Tyler_Durden]

I got two loves. Hitler and heroin.

[Outerspec]

@Tyler_Durden:

I got two loves. Hitler and heroin.

[Purple Hermit]

@Outerspec:

I'm on mobile so I can't see the vid directly but I can almost guarantee it's hitler love

[Outerspec]

I couldn't think of a video with heroin.

Until now….

[Purple Hermit]

Nope. Taps talk is kinda write about YouTube links

[Outerspec]

I confess that I've never even played/watched that 'Hitler Love' video…

Ever.

Only because I feel like I get the whole joke just from the title.

[Prismeru]

@Outerspec:

I confess that I've never even played/watched that 'Hitler Love' video…

Ever.

Only because I feel like I get the whole joke just from the title.

You've never watched The Venture Brothers? D:

[Purple Hermit]

I have a feeling that whenever Spec posts it he just assumes that Sgt. Hatred is the one lecturing Dean about how great Hitler is

[kevo_koma]

@Prismeru:

Uh, i've always sucked, like really sucked at seeing what kind of affection people has towards me.So, I think my neighbor has a crush on me. I've had the suspicion for the past months (how he talks towards me, waits in the parking lot to see me, well i think) and he just came to the apartment with some chocolates as a gift. I think i'm still blushed (i'm a sucker for people that does this little details. Like really bad). It looks like he wanted to enter and told me he was alone in his apartment. I didn't let him in cause right now my apartment is still a mess and i have books all over the place and i feel bad about it.

But i don't want to break his heart if he indeed has a crush on me Dx. And worst of all a girl is coming tomorrow. I wouldn't want him to feel bad about that. The girl is cool cause we just have sex time from time with no strings attached but i worry about me making other people feel bad. I don't want that. I know how that feel and it sucks :( And well….apart from that, i don't see myself with him :/

But maaaan, those chocolates. I tell you, i'm a sucker for those small attentions. It doesn't have to be gifts but i loved them. That was nice :3

Sorry for not knowing this before hand but are you a guy or a chick?

The guy telling you he was alone in his apartment after giving you chocolates sounds like he wanted something.

@ShinigamiKing, I'm curious, are you still in high school.

[Prismeru]

@kevo_koma:

Sorry for not knowing this before hand but are you a guy or a chick?

The guy telling you he was alone in his apartment after giving you chocolates sounds like he wanted something.

@ShinigamiKing, I'm curious, are you still in high school.

A guy b: .

[Outerspec]

@Prismeru:

You've never watched The Venture Brothers? D:

@Purple:

I have a feeling that whenever Spec posts it he just assumes that Sgt. Hatred is the one lecturing Dean about how great Hitler is

@kevo_koma:

Sorry for not knowing this before hand but are you a guy?

Yes .

[Nolus]

! I almost cut myself half an hour ago. I was really close to doing it.
I'd just entered a strange state of mind, I can't really describe it, but it was really scary. I kept telling myself that I wanted to die, because then I wouldn't bother anyone anymore. I was afraid to talk to anyone, I was alone at home, I went left and right but couldn't find anything to hold on to. Suddenly I took my swiss army knife, opened it then placed it on my arm then on my left thumb. I didn't want to cut my wrist, but I still wanted to cut myself. I just felt like I would like to see my blood. I couldn't do it though. I took off my shirt, put on another one then began to cut through the old one. Then I tore it to pieces with my hands and strangely, it felt… good. I've completely destroyed it and now it's in the trash. After it was done I felt really exhausted. I still do in fact. And my hands (and I think my whole body) keeps slightly shaking.
! So as long as I keep being in this state, I won't be loved by anyone, but if I try to be strong and brave and outgoing I'm just hurting myself. What the hell should I do?
! I don't want my birthday. I don't want that false attention. It's not even my special day, we always celebrate it with four other birthdays. I...
! I need to calm down.
I'm gonna make myself some tea and try to keep the knife closed.

[Dervish]

Do you have access to counseling where you live, Nolus? Maybe even someone through your university? I strongly suggest talking to a professional as soon as possible if you are considering self-harm.

When I was a teenager, I used to self-injure to deal with my (then) depression. From experience, I can tell you that any superficial relief you may feel from cutting will fleeting and not worth it. It will not fix or help the underlying issue whatsoever. I have terrible scars on my arm that will never go away, even though I stopped cutting 13 years ago and am perfectly happy with my life now. Please don't do that to yourself. Seek help.

And if you feel drawn to cut with that particular knife, go throw it away. Right now. Or at least put it somewhere you can't get to it.

[Nolus]

@Dervish:

Do you have access to counseling where you live, Nolus? Maybe even someone through your university? I strongly suggest talking to a professional as soon as possible if you are considering self-harm.

When I was a teenager, I used to self-injure to deal with my (then) depression. From experience, I can tell you that any superficial relief you may feel from cutting will fleeting and not worth it. It will not fix or help the underlying issue whatsoever. I have terrible scars on my arm that will never go away, even though I stopped cutting 13 years ago and am perfectly happy with my life now. Please don't do that to yourself. Seek help.

And if you feel drawn to cut with that particular knife, go throw it away. Right now. Or at least put it somewhere you can't get to it.

This is actually why I was too afraid to do it. Suddenly I started to think about seeing a scar in many years and it wasn't a pleasant thought.

Tomorrow I'll go out with some friends celebrating my birthday and another guy's birthday. So another conjoined birthday party. But my friends mean no harm so I must collect some strength for tomorrow… how will I do it...

[Prismeru]

@Nolus:

So as long as I keep being in this state, I won't be loved by anyone

This isn't true Nolus. There are and always will be people who love you no matter what state you are into. That's what friends are for. Please don't say that ever again.

[ShinigamiKing]

So I just had a football game on Friday.

And we were playing against a high school that some of my former friends from middle school went to….

so I met some of them, waived high, etc. But there was this one kid, that used to be a little overweight in middle school, but now, lost a lot of it.

That's great and all, but.... why... why couldn't it be me!?!

Ever since fucking 4th grade I've been wanting to lose weight, but I've really only focused on it since 7-8th grade. here I am, in 10th grade, still looking the exact same. My parents are like "exercise, exercise more!", which I've was doing but I didn't lose anything at all.

I'm pissed because before the school year started, I was exercising and going to the gym all summer, and I started making some relatively noticeable gains (to an extent). But ever since football practice, they've actually decreased a little bit, and now I'm at a weird stage where I have some muscle in some areas and flab in others. Some clothes me look slim, make me look a little bit chubby.

At the game, apparently my mom met one of my other friends (one of my best friends, actually. I didnt' see him tho), and he lost weight as well. Not that he was even overweight to begin with, but apparently he made gains as well.

Meanwhile I'm still the same. So when we went home, I brought it home a couple of times, and then banged the wall. My mom was like "what's wrong", and I was hoping she would know why I did that....

I just hate how stubborn they are. Like, one day, I decide that I wanna eat and eggs and sausage for breakfast. They say "why don't you want bread?", and I'm like "I don't need to have bread all the time, it's not a law".... and then they proceed to tell me how they go together, and that I should eat it.

And this coming from people who, everyone once in while, randomly say "we have to stop eating bread in the house, y'know?".

When we get ground beef or other meat, they're like "what will you eat it with" I'm like vegetables? But because they might not have money or time to buy the vegetables, they just buy the meat and serve it with potatoes or rice that we already have in the house.

[Purple Hermit]

Isn't your knee still injured?

[shinpanman]

Have you tried being direct and telling your parents that you're trying to lose weight? I'd be surprised if they didn't try to be more supportive and have healthier meals. If not, you could always prepare your own meals and maybe even get awesome at cooking.

[Purple Hermit]

Yeah, I mean if they knew that you were trying to diet but were kinda forcing you into a different one, that's a different story, but if they don't know, then remarks like that might come off as just a rebellious phase or something.

[Prismeru]

@ShinigamiKing:

So I just had a football game on Friday.

And we were playing against a high school that some of my former friends from middle school went to….

so I met some of them, waived high, etc. But there was this one kid, that used to be a little overweight in middle school, but now, lost a lot of it.

That's great and all, but.... why... why couldn't it be me!?!

Ever since fucking 4th grade I've been wanting to lose weight, but I've really only focused on it since 7-8th grade. here I am, in 10th grade, still looking the exact same. My parents are like "exercise, exercise more!", which I've was doing but I didn't lose anything at all.

I'm pissed because before the school year started, I was exercising and going to the gym all summer, and I started making some relatively noticeable gains (to an extent). But ever since football practice, they've actually decreased a little bit, and now I'm at a weird stage where I have some muscle in some areas and flab in others. Some clothes me look slim, make me look a little bit chubby.

At the game, apparently my mom met one of my other friends (one of my best friends, actually. I didnt' see him tho), and he lost weight as well. Not that he was even overweight to begin with, but apparently he made gains as well.

Meanwhile I'm still the same. So when we went home, I brought it home a couple of times, and then banged the wall. My mom was like "what's wrong", and I was hoping she would know why I did that....

I just hate how stubborn they are. Like, one day, I decide that I wanna eat and eggs and sausage for breakfast. They say "why don't you want bread?", and I'm like "I don't need to have bread all the time, it's not a law".... and then they proceed to tell me how they go together, and that I should eat it.

And this coming from people who, everyone once in while, randomly say "we have to stop eating bread in the house, y'know?".

When we get ground beef or other meat, they're like "what will you eat it with" I'm like vegetables? But because they might not have money or time to buy the vegetables, they just buy the meat and serve it with potatoes or rice that we already have in the house.

Do you have the chance to go grocery shopping with them? Maybe you can get actively involved in what is bought at your house so you can keep a better lookout on what you eat.

When i lost weight i had to get actively in what was bought at the house cause back with my parents they just had a bunch of junk food and a lot of meat (I don't even eat red meat :B ) Also, i highly recommend you see a nutriologist to help you. You can do it man. I know it's hard but you can do it (Hey,if i could you can!)

And totally unrelated but i bring some Susan Sontag on love from Brain Pickings, a site everyone should know (if someone here knows Maria Popova tell her i'm madly in love with her and would like to marry her). They are some inspiring quotes and i think they can help people in general :3

!