Confession Session II

[Zar]

@No:

So…I want to learn how to draw. I just recently have had the desire to start drawing and I'm not honestly sure why. Maybe I've been viewing more visual mediums like manga. Maybe I'm less impatient and can appreciate pictures and the work that went into them more. The thing is, I feel pretty late in life compared to everyone I know who draws, as I'm about halfway through high school and have never done anything remotely artistic other than occasionally drawing simple stick people.

I realize that this is something I would have to work on for years to get anywhere at all, so I haven't set any super big goals for myself right now. I have a desire to really try to do this, but I don't have a dream to create some super grand, amazing story like OP or anything, I just want to draw as a hobby for fun, maybe create a few characters. So right now I'm trying to get basic human anatomy and eventually get to the point where I can draw a humanoid figure that actually looks like a humanoid figure, ehenhen. I checked out a book from my school library (Freaks, by Steve Miller) about how to draw anthropomorphic animals, and haven't actually looked at it past the first dozens pages that discuss basic anatomy.

It was a decent starting point for me, and now that I've actually started trying to draw people, the main thing I wanted to ask is how do I give my drawings a...3D look, I guess. I mean, when I try to draw a person (or anything, really), they just look flat, like the spider-sun of a little kid does. I mean, technically, everything on a piece of paper is flat, but when I look at a picture of Luffy, or the anatomy drawings in the book, they just...don't look flat. (I have such a way with words XP). I really want to know what to do to generally develop that depth in my draws. Also, the style I kinda want to develop would be...what's it called... Animesque, I think? Like, not as cartoony as OP but not as precise as Marvel/DC comics seem to be (I admitted don't read much of those). To be clear, I'm not expecting this to be as easy as flipping a switch. If the answer is that I must meditate under a waterfall for five hours, well, then so be it, I better start practicing in the shower.

Lastly, thank you for reading through this my disorganized cry for help. I realize this is kinda a petty thing compared to a lot of the topics talked about here, so I completely understand if this post don't get a lot of attention. Still, I would really appreciate any advice that anyone would be willing to share.

Welcome to the art world! Don't worry about being late, there's people who don't start until they're in their sixties. And as ONE (One Punch Man, Mob Psycho 100) showed, you don't need to be an amazing artist to create something interesting. The important thing is having fun.

I have no idea if I can help, but I'll try.

It's great that you're starting with anatomy! The most important thing here is learning the proportions of the body. Don't worry about how realistic or detailed is, focus on getting all the joints and parts lined up right. Once you got the gist of that you can start exaggerating and having fun.

As for the flatness of your drawings, there's two ways to combat this. The first is learning

. A great way is drawing geometric shapes, trying to put those in perspective and then basing the body parts on those. The second is learning to draw "energy/life". The best way is to grab a sketchbook and draw things from real life. Forget everything about details, accuracy and beauty - these drawings are supposed to be fast and ugly. The point is to throw away all your preconceptions about "what something should look like" and instead focus on the movement and general shape. In the professional world this is called gesture drawing and figure drawing.

And of course, references. Never be afraid to use references.

Here's a variety of sites that can help with random stuff. Posemaniacs has fully rotatable poses of humans. Line of Action and Quickpose are great for gesture and figure drawing. Paletton, Coolors and Colourlovers can help you with picking colors. Sycra is an all-around good youtube channel with lots of tutorials. There's this lovely tutorial on expressive faces. And while this isn't a tutorial or art site, Creative Uncut has loads of game artwork to inspire you.

Other general tips is to not be afraid to go outside your comfort zone. Look at a variety of things for inspiration, even things you don't think you'll like.

Lastly, remember that there's no right or wrong way to do something, and that all artists learn their life out. I know there's some Japanese guy who wasn't satisfied with drawing a line until he was like 87. A lot of the sources above have their own ideas about "what's wrong and what's right" but you don't need to agree with them. For example I hate drawing geometrical shapes and detailed anatomy charts, so unless it's absolutely necessary I always skip those steps or do something else. It's good to know but I won't let it bind me. Learn the rules so you can break them, so to speak.

Hope that helped :)

[No swords style best style]

@Zar:

Welcome to the art world! Don't worry about being late, there's people who don't start until they're in their sixties. And as ONE (One Punch Man, Mob Psycho 100) showed, you don't need to be an amazing artist to create something interesting. The important thing is having fun.

I have no idea if I can help, but I'll try.

It's great that you're starting with anatomy! The most important thing here is learning the proportions of the body. Don't worry about how realistic or detailed is, focus on getting all the joints and parts lined up right. Once you got the gist of that you can start exaggerating and having fun.

As for the flatness of your drawings, there's two ways to combat this. The first is learning

. A great way is drawing geometric shapes, trying to put those in perspective and then basing the body parts on those. The second is learning to draw "energy/life". The best way is to grab a sketchbook and draw things from real life. Forget everything about details, accuracy and beauty - these drawings are supposed to be fast and ugly. The point is to throw away all your preconceptions about "what something should look like" and instead focus on the movement and general shape. In the professional world this is called gesture drawing and figure drawing.

And of course, references. Never be afraid to use references.

Here's a variety of sites that can help with random stuff. Posemaniacs has fully rotatable poses of humans. Line of Action and Quickpose are great for gesture and figure drawing. Paletton, Coolors and Colourlovers can help you with picking colors. Sycra is an all-around good youtube channel with lots of tutorials. There's this lovely tutorial on expressive faces. And while this isn't a tutorial or art site, Creative Uncut has loads of game artwork to inspire you.

Other general tips is to not be afraid to go outside your comfort zone. Look at a variety of things for inspiration, even things you don't think you'll like.

Lastly, remember that there's no right or wrong way to do something, and that all artists learn their life out. I know there's some Japanese guy who wasn't satisfied with drawing a line until he was like 87. A lot of the sources above have their own ideas about "what's wrong and what's right" but you don't need to agree with them. For example I hate drawing geometrical shapes and detailed anatomy charts, so unless it's absolutely necessary I always skip those steps or do something else. It's good to know but I won't let it bind me. Learn the rules so you can break them, so to speak.

Hope that helped :)

Oh wow, thank you so much! A lot of those sites look really interesting, I'm definitely gonna check them out! Also, I really appreciate the encouragement.

[C_uggs]

I started to date a girl this year, she is really nice, fun and caring, the only (maximum quotation marks) "problem" she has is that she is from japanese descendant, her father and mother are from Japan but she was born in Brazil.

From what she told me, her parents are "kinda" strict about interacial relationships, she said that they would prefer that she date/marry a japanese guy, but they didn't prohibit others nationalities (of course, they are going to act a lot more strict with other races, nationalities.)

I will meet her parents next saturday. Should I worry ?

[Femme]

@C_uggs:

I started to date a girl this year, she is really nice, fun and caring, the only (maximum quotation marks) "problem" she has is that she is from japanese descendant, her father and mother are from Japan but she was born in Brazil.

From what she told me, her parents are "kinda" strict about interacial relationships, she said that they would prefer that she date/marry a japanese guy, but they didn't prohibit others nationalities (of course, they are going to act a lot more strict with other races, nationalities.)

I will meet her parents next saturday. Should I worry ?

Bring a gift. Ask her what would be respectful. If you're going out for lunch or dinner you might want to pay for it, ask her if that would be a nice gesture that they would appreciate. Overall, be respectful, look to your girl for cues on topics to talk about/avoid if necessary, and hope for the best. Good luck!

[Monkey King]

@C_uggs:

I started to date a girl this year, she is really nice, fun and caring, the only (maximum quotation marks) "problem" she has is that she is from japanese descendant, her father and mother are from Japan but she was born in Brazil.

From what she told me, her parents are "kinda" strict about interacial relationships, she said that they would prefer that she date/marry a japanese guy, but they didn't prohibit others nationalities (of course, they are going to act a lot more strict with other races, nationalities.)

I will meet her parents next saturday. Should I worry ?

It sounds like they have wiggle room already which is good, and that she thinks meeting them is an event that should happened is a good sign I'd think. I'd be worried if she was doing the opposite and trying to keep you and them from having any contact at all. That would indicate they were truly toxic nightmares. But this, this is possibly a good sign.

Be charming and respectful, and you might just plow down their concerns.

[Louis-1988]

@C_uggs:

I started to date a girl this year, she is really nice, fun and caring, the only (maximum quotation marks) "problem" she has is that she is from japanese descendant, her father and mother are from Japan but she was born in Brazil.

From what she told me, her parents are "kinda" strict about interacial relationships, she said that they would prefer that she date/marry a japanese guy, but they didn't prohibit others nationalities (of course, they are going to act a lot more strict with other races, nationalities.)

I will meet her parents next saturday. Should I worry ?

Just be patient! You seem like a nice guy, so just be yourself and and treat their daughter with respect and they will warm up to you. :)

[Medical Orbit]

Whenever someone uses "yo" as an abbreviation for year old (ex: "My cousin is a 15 yo") I read it as the word yo, as in the greeting.

[Nolus]

I sure hope I'm not becoming an alcoholic.

Sometimes, I can't do anything but drink a few glasses of wine or whatever I have at home. I'm so angry with myself for doing that. For the first time in my life, I'm on track of becoming really me and in the following years it's very likely that my surgeries will be done one after another. At least those that I'm sure of. My job is awesome, my collegues really cheer me up every day, my kitten is the cutest little thing I've ever seen, I earn more than a lot of people after decades of working…

Yet sometimes, I can feel this... emptiness inside my soul. It's so very deep and I cannot understand why it's still there. I can't reach it, and after a while, I get desperate and start looking for ways out of these feelings. Then it passes, I get a good (or not so good) night's sleep and I'm back on track again.

I wish I could articulate better what I feel. I wish I could cry. That always helped. One thing about transition that'll be hard to get used to is having a harder time trying to cry.

Even my cat looks at me like "What's the problem? Here, let me lay down and purr, that'll solve everything." I hope it will.
Why do I feel that my cat... notices my struggle? Like, she was chilling on her cat tree but came to me despite I'm not moving from my desk.

[Zar]

Ok this is a stupid question but I want to ask it…

Do you leave your washing machine on when you're not home?

For the last four years I've developed a phobia for machines, particularly that they'll break and injure me. Mainly machines I can't easily control and makes loud, inconsistent noise. Stuff like elevators, buses, planes... and washing machines.

Problem here is my washing machine is in my apartment, and said apartment is very tiny so I can't get away from it. The phobia has gotten so bad this year I have to sit on the balcony - but it's getting cold, windy and rainy. It's mainly the spin cycles that get me, I worry the drum will break loose. I'm going to move in January but until then I have to put up with that thing.

I've been thinking that it might help to just take a walk during the spin cycle, but then there's the fear of "what if something happens while I'm gone?". And my parents insist I stay home due to the risk. Hence my question.

It sounds stupid but it's getting so bad I'm cutting down on washing and send all the cotton stuff home so my parents can wash it (since those things are heavy, cause the drum to move more and the entire wash takes three damn hours. It's too much). I've tried "exposing" myself to the machine to normalize it, but it's just gotten worse. I don't understand where the phobia even comes from, especially this autumn it's gone from mildly annoying to a genuine problem.

---

This is the weirdest confession i've ever made...

[Hanz]

@Zar:

…

i've been there man, i had an irrational phobia as well. the best advice i can give is to try to be logical about those sort of things.
what are the consequences of a drum breaking loose? whatever it is, it definitely won't fly out of the washing machine and hit you.

if you find yourself getting too worried about it, stop using it. wash your clothes with your hands on a bucket or go to a nearby laundry service.

[Zar]

@Hanz:

i've been there man, i had an irrational phobia as well. the best advice i can give is to try to be logical about those sort of things.
what are the consequences of a drum breaking loose? whatever it is, it definitely won't fly out of the washing machine and hit you.

if you find yourself getting too worried about it, stop using it. wash your clothes with your hands on a bucket or go to a nearby laundry service.

Thank you.

What I think I'll do is take a walk while the cycle starts. Not primarily to escape the noise, but to assure myself that everything's fine and that nothing bad will happen.

I didn't think about washing them by hand, but that might be an option if worst comes to worst. Could be an useful skill to learn, and I don't have a dryer so the drying period won't change much, maybe just an extra day.

Ironically my parent's dryer broke while I was talking with them over the phone, judging by the noise it was probably the exact thing I was afraid off (the drum getting loose). It was well overdue though, that thing had been going for at least a decade.

[Nolus]

@Zar:

Thank you.

What I think I'll do is take a walk while the cycle starts. Not primarily to escape the noise, but to assure myself that everything's fine and that nothing bad will happen.

I didn't think about washing them by hand, but that might be an option if worst comes to worst. Could be an useful skill to learn, and I don't have a dryer so the drying period won't change much, maybe just an extra day.

Ironically my parent's dryer broke while I was talking with them over the phone, judging by the noise it was probably the exact thing I was afraid off (the drum getting loose). It was well overdue though, that thing had been going for at least a decade.

I don't know how big your apartment is, but maybe getting a pair of headphones and watching a video/listening to music during the noisy parts might help.

[Zar]

@Nolus:

I don't know how big your apartment is, but maybe getting a pair of headphones and watching a video/listening to music during the noisy parts might help.

I've tried, but unfortunately headphones don't cancel out all the sounds. Going into the bathroom and putting on loud music does cancel out most of it but it hurts my ears so i prefer not to.

[hosemisnuba]

! This might be something stupid to 'confess' and it might be a little silly (and petty)(and I suppose needy to), but it saddens me how very few people take interest in my video game project thing. Now, I realize that others aren't nearly as attuned to my obsessive interest for obvious reasons; however, I wish I could find someone who would at least bother to provide feedback for something I've dedicated at least half of my time awake to. I don't even want to gain a big following; I just want to share with others my passion about a particular topic. As laughable as it sounds, listening to game music means a tremendous amount to me and I simply want someone to legitimately acknowledge the excessive time I've spent on my game music project.
! This issue presents a greater problem regarding myself: as someone with Asperger's syndrome, I have a tendency to get overly passionate in regards to a specific topic. Right now, that 'specific topic' is the video game music playlist project, but its been different in the past and will probably change in the future. I get so hooked on these topics at particular times, that people usually just begin to not acknowledge me in conversation even when I'm not talking about my current obsession. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that in my fervor for whatever it is I'm passionate about at the time, I push others away, and as a result, I find it very pressing to make new friends and develop proper relationships with others. Maybe I'm just being melodramatic, but I felt like posting this here anyways. End rant…..

[Foolio]

@hosemisnuba:

! This might be something stupid to 'confess' and it might be a little silly (and petty)(and I suppose needy to), but it saddens me how very few people take interest in my video game project thing. Now, I realize that others aren't nearly as attuned to my obsessive interest for obvious reasons; however, I wish I could find someone who would at least bother to provide feedback for something I've dedicated at least half of my time awake to. I don't even want to gain a big following; I just want to share with others my passion about a particular topic. As laughable as it sounds, listening to game music means a tremendous amount to me and I simply want someone to legitimately acknowledge the excessive time I've spent on my game music project.
! This issue presents a greater problem regarding myself: as someone with Asperger's syndrome, I have a tendency to get overly passionate in regards to a specific topic. Right now, that 'specific topic' is the video game music playlist project, but its been different in the past and will probably change in the future. I get so hooked on these topics at particular times, that people usually just begin to not acknowledge me in conversation even when I'm not talking about my current obsession. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that in my fervor for whatever it is I'm passionate about at the time, I push others away, and as a result, I find it very pressing to make new friends and develop proper relationships with others. Maybe I'm just being melodramatic, but I felt like posting this here anyways. End rant…..

! I don't know about your personal life but you don't come off that way here. Honestly I love talking about game music (or games in general), and also playing game music arrangements on piano, but it's often hard. People just want to come in and name-drop their favorite stuff and not have a meaningful discussion. I mean sharing favorites is great but it gets old when most people bring up the same handful of songs. At the same time I think it's overwhelming and ultimately not that useful (for me personally) to try to catalog all significant soundtracks in a vast and growing ocean of games. I feel a lot of the value of gaming music is often tied to memories or experiences actually playing the game, so it's not often that I get attached to songs from games I never played (there are exceptions, like FF9 and Chrono Trigger, where I fell in love with the music without having played the games).
! I also saw you mention streaming game music, but when I went to check it out you were offline. I don't know if you meant to discuss it or something, but just listening to music on a video streaming service is kind of weird.
! I also like analyzing music from more of a theory or at least musical-knowledge perspective, which most fans don't seem to have. I'm no expert on composition but as a musician there are particular things that stand out to me. I really like this dude on YouTube called 8-bit Music Theory.
! Overall, I guess I'm just not sure what you want/expect. I personally gave up on the game music thread. And specific convos about music/games I'm not familiar with are hard to jump into.

[hosemisnuba]

@Foolio:

People just want to come in and name-drop their favorite stuff and not have a meaningful discussion. I mean sharing favorites is great but it gets old when most people bring up the same handful of songs.

You're right: people don't like seriously discussing thing that have little meaning to there everyday lives. The thing is, in my life, listening to video game music takes a large portion of my time (by my own choice of course), so obviously, I want meaningful conversation about it (like one would about some strong political opinion they have, which they can't in polite society, for obvious reason). However the reality is the vast majority of people don't even care about video game music, and the ones that do, don't value it to the same degree I do (for the most part at least), so obviously, its pretty silly of me to get so worked up over something like that, when its been the case the whole time I've been doing this project (I just hadn't fully grasped that fact when I made my initial posts).

At the same time I think it's overwhelming and ultimately not that useful (for me personally) to try to catalog all significant soundtracks in a vast and growing ocean of games. I feel a lot of the value of gaming music is often tied to memories or experiences actually playing the game, so it's not often that I get attached to songs from games I never played (there are exceptions, like FF9 and Chrono Trigger, where I fell in love with the music without having played the games).

Last summer (2016), I was in this phase where I was playing a lot visual novels (that happened to be my current obsessive interest at the time). After playing around 16 of them, I came to a realization: my obsession with these games wasn't rooted in the stories (or the cute anime girls), but the dramatic and emotion twisting qualities of some of the music. This notion of the value of a game soundtrack, without regard to the game its from, really kicked in when I listened to the absolutely outstanding soundtrack of the game, Umineko no Naku Koro Ni (without really playing the game). My mind was boggled by the fact that some game as relatively nameless as some doujin soft visual novel had one of the best soundtracks I've ever heard. At that point, I realized that, because of the niche nature of some games, some wonderful soundtracks would never be heard. At that point, I decided to carry through with this time consuming project of mine.

That said, I think my primary purpose for doing my project (outside of wanting to harbor a massive music collection of my favorite songs for my own listening) is to make it easier for other people to experience the magic of finding game soundtracks that are brilliant without actually playing the games themselves (like you found with Chrono or FF9); when a game soundtrack (or any soundtrack for that matter) is good enough, I think its almost like vicariously experiencing the game without having to go through the hassle of actually spending time to play it for hours on end. Of course, that distinction doesn't apply to many soundtracks: of the 1600 soundtracks I've listened, very few of those are close to that caliber (Nier: Automata, Bravely Default, and the Chrono Series to mention a few) , and sadly, many of those soundtracks are buried under the fact they are from niche titles. I feel by meticulously categorizing and collecting these soundtracks, I feel I can somehow make the ability to experience that amazing feeling of finding an amazing soundtrack of some obscure game more accessible to other people, so they can, in some way, share in the joy I feel from finding an outstanding soundtrack from some game I've never experienced too.

I also saw you mention streaming game music, but when I went to check it out you were offline. I don't know if you meant to discuss it or something, but just listening to music on a video streaming service is kind of weird.

Essentially, I wanted to talk to people about the music I was listening to. Yeah, its kind of a bizarre concept, but I have a pressing desire to talk about my hobby, and I was trying to find a way to fulfill said want. Of course, people didn't really come to my stream (because, yeah, its weird: who wants to listen to some lame music from a game they've never heard), so I stopped streaming pretty quickly.

Overall, I guess I'm just not sure what you want/expect. I personally gave up on the game music thread. And specific convos about music/games I'm not familiar with are hard to jump into.

I guess this 'post' was what I wanted (that is, some way to speak my mind about something I value, but others don't). Really, I wanted others to care about something that is basically inconsequential, something as mundane and unimportant as cataloging a bunch of video game songs so I could properly discuss with them something I hold dear. I essentially made the initial post to vent about this silly issue, and now that that is all said and done, I feel I'm done getting hung up on this. I think I've come to terms with the fact that most people will probably not appreciate what I'm doing because, the reality is, they have no reason to. And I'm fine with that.

[Hanz]

@hosemisnuba:

I think I've come to terms with the fact that most people will probably not appreciate what I'm doing because, the reality is, they have no reason to. And I'm fine with that.

the reason is actually much simpler; not everyone shares your taste in video game music. try to look at from another person's prospective, would you listen to a whole playlist of music you have no interest in?

one more thing, you have more than one playlist your youtube channel and they contain 500+ videos. thats a very off putting number man, even if people share your taste in music, they're not gonna sit through all of those videos.

if you want people to listen to your music, make it more accessible. collect your favorite music in album length (preferably 14 to 17 songs) playlists. that way, you can be more specific with the sub genres of vgms and introduce people to music similar to the one they like in a digestible playlist of songs.

[hosemisnuba]

@Hanz:

the reason is actually much simpler; not everyone shares your taste in video game music. try to look at from another person's prospective, would you listen to a whole playlist of music you have no interest in?

You're right. Not every person shares my taste. This is really the same as anything, whether it be TV, food, or anything else that allows for an opinion. As such, its safe to say that the matter of taste in video game music certainly effects an individuals interest in my project. However, I think you are understating how much someone's value for a particular subject can affect how much they want to discuss said topic. People like to talk about themselves (and I'm obviously no exception), and when you bring up a topic that they have superficial interest in, they might describe whatever they like about a specific topic (like name dropping their favorite game soundtrack, (as Foolio mentioned), and then end the conversation there. The same applies to game soundtrack project, obviously. How can I expect to talk about my narrow interest of making a comprehensive video game music playlist with anyone else but myself: I can't, unless, someone, somehow, started valuing my playlist project to the same degree I do (which will never happen). That is the realization I came to by writing the post above.

On that note, I'm curious: what video game music do you like? I think (or at least like to believe) that my taste in music is fairly broad. I'm sure we share at least some favorites. (This is not a way to get you listening to my music or anything, I'm just curious)

one more thing, you have more than one playlist your youtube channel and they contain 500+ videos. thats a very off putting number man, even if people share your taste in music, they're not gonna sit through all of those videos.

if you want people to listen to your music, make it more accessible. collect your favorite music in album length (preferably 14 to 17 songs) playlists. that way, you can be more specific with the sub genres of vgms and introduce people to music similar to the one they like in a digestible playlist of songs.

More focused playlists are ultimately my goal. I want the music I actually like to be better accessible to other people. As I've mentioned multiple times in my thread, the purpose of those massive playlist is NOT to be listened by other people; rather, I'm using them as a mode to more easily access the songs I felt were adequate after listening to the entirety a soundtrack, WITHOUT having to trudge through those soundtracks again and listen to tracks I had no positive feelings about. Basically, those playlist are not the final product (yes, even after a year), because it is essentially impossible to declare you like a particular song without listening to it multiple times, and those playlist allow me to do just that. Eventually, I tend to make more focused playlist, but for now, I'm just putting stuff together.

[Zar]

@hosemisnuba:

I guess this 'post' was what I wanted (that is, some way to speak my mind about something I value, but others don't). Really, I wanted others to care about something that is basically inconsequential, something as mundane and unimportant as cataloging a bunch of video game songs so I could properly discuss with them something I hold dear. I essentially made the initial post to vent about this silly issue, and now that that is all said and done, I feel I'm done getting hung up on this. I think I've come to terms with the fact that most people will probably not appreciate what I'm doing because, the reality is, they have no reason to. And I'm fine with that.

Have you tried making a thread on a music related site or a blog? I think part of the reason why not a whole lot of people have responded to your project is because this isn't the most suitable forum.

[Hanz]

@hosemisnuba:

.

im sorry i didn't know about your plans for your project and just assumed you made your playlist to others to listen to.
ironically, most of the vgm that i like are ones listed on your games list.
i like the castlevania sotn soundtrack obviously, the cavern theme and a couple of other tracks from metal gear solid are very good, the main theme of bioshock, i loved the entire binding of isaac's ost, the phoenix wright soundtrack has some nice tunes in it, the cathedral of shadows theme from smt iv and smt iv:a is wonderful piece of music, and surprisingly the entire soundtrack of medievil resurrection is very good.

[AfroSamurai]

@Zar:

I've tried, but unfortunately headphones don't cancel out all the sounds. Going into the bathroom and putting on loud music does cancel out most of it but it hurts my ears so i prefer not to.

Not sure if this is any help, but I turn on the washing machine and then go out for hours and it’s never even dawned on me that you shouldn’t do that. If I were you I’d just turn it on before going out for drinks/work/whatever you do, and then come back to the completed wash when you get back. Its not like your clothes will suffer much, being a few extra hours in the machine after the washing is done. So just time it to start when you go out. Problem solved

[Bond en Avant]

Man, debating isn't fun. It makes both sides feel bad.
Or maybe I'm just not very good at it. Either way, I'm probably gonna stay away from heated discussions for now.

[Monkey King]

@hosemisnuba:

! This might be something stupid to 'confess' and it might be a little silly (and petty)(and I suppose needy to), but it saddens me how very few people take interest in my video game project thing. Now, I realize that others aren't nearly as attuned to my obsessive interest for obvious reasons; however, I wish I could find someone who would at least bother to provide feedback for something I've dedicated at least half of my time awake to. I don't even want to gain a big following; I just want to share with others my passion about a particular topic. As laughable as it sounds, listening to game music means a tremendous amount to me and I simply want someone to legitimately acknowledge the excessive time I've spent on my game music project.
! This issue presents a greater problem regarding myself: as someone with Asperger's syndrome, I have a tendency to get overly passionate in regards to a specific topic. Right now, that 'specific topic' is the video game music playlist project, but its been different in the past and will probably change in the future. I get so hooked on these topics at particular times, that people usually just begin to not acknowledge me in conversation even when I'm not talking about my current obsession. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that in my fervor for whatever it is I'm passionate about at the time, I push others away, and as a result, I find it very pressing to make new friends and develop proper relationships with others. Maybe I'm just being melodramatic, but I felt like posting this here anyways. End rant…..

With my own music thing on RYM honestly, at a point once I gained a following…. it became a different pressure and stress.
The most liberating thing eventually was letting it actually be just a hobby and personal passion, and not beholden to anyone else in any way shape or form.
Never-mind other people, you'll enjoy it the absolute most when there's nothing else in the world but you and your music.

–- Update From New Post Merge ---

@hosemisnuba:

On that note, I'm curious: what video game music do you like? I think (or at least like to believe) that my taste in music is fairly broad. I'm sure we share at least some favorites. (This is not a way to get you listening to my music or anything, I'm just curious)

I like soundtracks that (much like I like music of any kind) gives me a strong sense of atmosphere and specific place. That sound like the music of some particular sort of location. Which frequently lots of games are generally good at considering levels are themed around stuff to begin with.

More focused playlists are ultimately my goal. I want the music I actually like to be better accessible to other people. As I've mentioned multiple times in my thread, the purpose of those massive playlist is NOT to be listened by other people; rather, I'm using them as a mode to more easily access the songs I felt were adequate after listening to the entirety a soundtrack, WITHOUT having to trudge through those soundtracks again and listen to tracks I had no positive feelings about. Basically, those playlist are not the final product (yes, even after a year), because it is essentially impossible to declare you like a particular song without listening to it multiple times, and those playlist allow me to do just that. Eventually, I tend to make more focused playlist, but for now, I'm just putting stuff together.

Congrats on actually being LESS obsessive than me lol.
I've pushed myself through continent sized portions of music that I had little to no personal interest in, all in the name of trying to gain some broad education or perspective on certain entire genres, or whatever I thought I was doing.
It took me like eight years (jesus christ lol) to just give up on that and finally focus in on the specific areas/periods that I really love.

On that note, if you really like video game soundtracks, you should check out Yellow Magic Orchestra. Because man is it clear most 80's/90's VGM composers were acolytes of them.

[Ekila]

This is gonna be a super long post, so it is gonna be under spoiler tags:

! This relates to the subject of a person I talked about before in this thread in the past. AKA the French woman, Magalie, expect she never existed.
! Here is some background:
I said in the past, that there was talk about "her" not showing a picture of "herself". Well, "she" did finally did show a picture last year, but this summer; I decided to search the picture online on Google reverse image search. Well, it turns out it was showing that the picture was of a person called "Magali", but with a different last time. Some kind of low kind of actress in theater, as there was a facebook and all that. So, of course my anxiety went up with that that night; and not getting much sleep.
! At the time, I thought they were this person, but it turns out it was something else. "Magalie" was a boy, which I had no problem, as I like anyone regardless of the gender. Though before that, when I confronted them, they were like "Goodbye", till I started to message them more that day. He was also bit of an ass in the beginning of that conversation as well. After this chat, it was said that "Magalie" was his twin sister; and his real name was Jérôme. He told me he was pretending to be his "sister" because of some promise he said he made with "her". Something about my emotional wellness. As he said "she" died five years ago.
! Anyways, I accepted it. Now, the inconsistencies started. He said "Magalie" died in November 2012, but later changed it to January 2012. When I try to talk about it, he was trying to say that he said "before November 2012". And if someone was so close to you, you would at least remember it somewhat; basically being way closer in dates. He tried to say later it was because he was emotional at the time of the first date. (Which was when I confronted him on the picture.)
! So, I had a huge fight with him on 11/2/2017. Though I was extremely pushy in wanting him to talk more without realizing it. He said he does not like to talk at all. He also hated me asking questions all the time. So, I showed the conversation to one of the staff members at my place of residence; and she said I should stop talking to him, unless he messages me first. I decided to take this the next step forward, and cut him off entirely. As our personalities clash. This was on 11/3/2017.
! Now, this is when I started to think about the past. For example he lied about the fact that he was so close to this "so-called twin sister". As when he was pretending to be "her", there was a chat that involved "her" suicides, saying it was one; and that he never got depressed. Expect before in March 2010, when "Magalie" said it was four. It was to empathize with me, as at the time I had a suicide attempt. And regardless, if you try to kill yourself, you would be extremely depressed to even try such a thing; as I can relate to experience.
! Another lie was that he and "Magalie" shared the same accounts AKA video game accounts, e-mails, etc. Expect you know it was never said at all in the past, with anyone he played with. Speaking of the twins thing, "Magalie" talked about her "past", and said that "she" did not want any of her family to know about. So, funny that Jérôme knew about "it". AKA another inconsistency
! As for the past, it was obviously a lie with inconsistencies. This so-called "past" involved BDSM and apparently a gang rape. So to one of my other friends it was said it was part of a show, but to me it was excluded from that fact. And speaking of BDSM, it does not involve stuff without consent, so a bit fishy in this of course. (Yes, I know someone might try to hurt someone using BDSM, but it is for the most part. I'm not trying to be insensitive about this. Sorry if I am.)
! Now, of course there was other lies to fit this twin sister persona. Like the idea that "Magalie" was so sick, that she had to have doctors at "her" home; which if that were true, "she" would be in a hospital; and most likely not having access to video games or the internet. The sickness was said to be heart disease. Anyways, there was another time when "Magalie" had a "heart attack" which was super late at night, and magically "she" appeared at around the same time "she" got up every day. And speaking of the so called heart attack, there is no way, "she" could have been typing in the process of having one; as the all the focus would be on the heart attack itself.
! Another point of interest is that there was talk about using dialysis to help with heart disease, expect that is used for kidney disease, not heart disease. He must have gotten the idea from that people with kidney disease are more likely to get heart disease; but was misunderstood the information online from my observations. There was also inconsistencies involving the visit situation back with "Magalie" before "she" died. To my other friend, it was said because the doctors would not allow it, but really, that is stupid, as I knew a person that had heart disease; and was in a relationship. (Since my other friend "dated" "her".) So, going along with that lie, it was said to me it was being scared of people; pointing out a situation of fainting of meeting someone they did not meet, funny there was always going out for shopping; which is surrounded by strangers, like the cashier.
! So, this is what proves that this so-called twin sister never existed in the first place. By the way, he said he was a boy in the beginning, well before I met him; but then changed to saying they pretended to be a boy, something about wanting to fit in; and females not being taken seriously. And it went back to this.
! Other lies that are unrelated to the fake "twin sister" persona:

• He lied about his address. Explains why my drawing was returned to me, with the thing saying it was the wrong address.
• He lied about not having a way to take a picture, but I found his brother's facebook; and it shows that there is some way to take said picture. (He says he lives with his brother.)
• He said about staying at his place, saying there is no room, yet there is room for his other sister.
• He lied about this "talk" with my other friend about me and him paying for her computer parts; so she could play. As she could not recall such an event, as she would have
  remembered something like this, as it would be labeled as something important that happened in her life.
• He said he cared about me, but no contact with me since I stopped talking to him. On the other hand, when my other friend stopped talking to him, he went ballistic every time.
  For example, one time he was saying he had to send himself to the hospital, and another time; when he was thinking of driving off a cliff.
• Speaking of the cliff thing, he later said he never said such a thing.
• He also tried to say he never blocked anyone, expect he blocked me like a year or so before that specific conversation.

! So, in conclusion I was catfished, and was lied to someone that I thought was a good friend. Plus, I knew them since the beginning of 2009, I think either March or February. Also, speaking of feelings, when I asked about it to him, he said he did; but he did not want a relationship with anyone. I later found out in that last fight, that he meant it as friendship feelings; despite it never clarifying exactly what he meant. Though regardless… I have been missing him extremely, though it goes ups and downs. So, I guess I really did have romantic feelings for him... bleh. Thanks everyone for reading this, if you have any input, I would appreciate it.

[Nolus]

I feel like the stakes are stacked against me in life.

This semester, I have to write ~25 pages in Swedish to be able to finally graduate and finish my BA. Also it wouldn't hurt to learn Swedish. Sigh, it seems the first few years of university, which I spent in deep depression, have just came back to bite my ass. Transition is hard on me as well, even though I'm liking the changes testosterone has brought so far. Dysphoria still rears it's ugly head quite often, and sometimes I have to retreat to not get overwhelmed: this usually means either drinking, or playing the whole day away, which is anything but productive. Meanwhile other people are already doing their MA, have fond memories of university and seem to be doing good at the whole adult thing overall.

I'm struggling to finish university, I'm struggling to go through my transition as ideally as possible and I'm struggling to keep appearing as if I had everything under control.

[Monkey King]

@Nolus:

I feel like the stakes are stacked against me in life.

This semester, I have to write ~25 pages in Swedish to be able to finally graduate and finish my BA. Also it wouldn't hurt to learn Swedish. Sigh, it seems the first few years of university, which I spent in deep depression, have just came back to bite my ass. Transition is hard on me as well, even though I'm liking the changes testosterone has brought so far. Dysphoria still rears it's ugly head quite often, and sometimes I have to retreat to not get overwhelmed: this usually means either drinking, or playing the whole day away, which is anything but productive. Meanwhile other people are already doing their MA, have fond memories of university and seem to be doing good at the whole adult thing overall.

I'm struggling to finish university, I'm struggling to go through my transition as ideally as possible and I'm struggling to keep appearing as if I had everything under control.

Are you still some sort of polyglot? Because that will always be extremely cool to me, and always make me think of how awesome you are.
Shit must be really hard and rough for you, but you're still cool as shit and don't forget that for a day.

[lr-hr-rh]

Maaan.

It's always strange for me when I'm reminded there are people out there who don't respond to every setback, actual or imagined, with "well maybe you should just kill yourself?"
Even stranger, there are people out there with a better response to that question than "yeah maybe…but maybe give it a bit more time? See if it gets any better?"
...
What strange lives such people must lead. I struggle to imagine what it must be like.
Bet they get more done tho.

Lucky bastards. :blink:

[Kylor]

So here's a confession for you all. Maybe not the biggest confession in the world, and I know that, like, I barely post here anymore so what right do I have, but I want to actually write this down so… bear with me lol.

! For a while now, I've been aware of it for the past three or four months but I know it's been going on for, well, maybe my whole life, I feel like there's this disconnect between myself and others. Or maybe I should say, I think pretty much all my living has been done inside my head, which sucks because I'm keenly aware that there's a world out there with people in it.
! It's difficult to write this down in a way that makes a lick of sense, but even though humans are social animals, I can't seem to get along with the humans in my life. Especially since I've moved to a new town. Not to sound misanthropic or anything, but just looking at those I interact with on a day-to-day basis, the kind of things they're into, and how they relate to each other, feels very… I dunno. Shallow to me. Not in an "I'm better than you all" sense, hell no, it's just, I feel like, even though I spend a lot of time trying to teach myself things, and learn and read, nothing that holds any interest to me or information that I can retain has any relevance, or even grounding, in the small circle of the world that I'm standing in.
! Like a third of me wishes that I could live the kind of life where I could drink wine and philosophize with people in someone's music room or something, while another third wishes I could just talk about pop culture and Japanese cartoons in the sort of outdated, cheesy newsletter-printing anime clubs that don't exist anymore. The other third of me just wants to read books and sip tea by a fireplace while it's raining outside, but I don't make enough money for a fireplace, and it's hard to make that kind of mood at home anyway, the neighbors are far too loud. Instead, most of my interaction is with my coworkers, since most of my day is working. And, you know, they're perfectly nice, but they're also very... I guess, regular college Americana types? Not what I'm describing at all.
! Often it's my instinct to blame my not being where I want on the fact that I'm not working hard enough for it, and I'm trying to fix that. I write as often as I'm able, I've been trying to get more involved locally, basically throwing a lot of things out there and seeing what sticks, which so far hasn't amounted to much. The thing is, I feel like even if I did get what I want, it wouldn't make me happy. In large part, this is just because of who I am. I'm a writer at heart, you see. The person whose words you're reading now (hi!) is NOT the person I am in real life. As a writer, I need this many words to get my thoughts out. As a person, I'm a clumsy, monosyllabic, poorly dressed idiot who can only get two words out after that many drinks. I always just end up feeling condescended to in the fancy crowds, and in the nerdy crowds, my taste veers just enough from the norm to not even be speaking the language of anyone else in the room. (seriously, just go into any anime/manga specialty store, bring up Legend of the Galactic Heroes, and watch the eyes just glaze over, it's a thing of beauty.) So no wonder I can't roll with the crowds I aspire to. But dear me. When I step outside my head, what I bump into makes me want to go back in again.
! Not to say that I think I'm better than the people around me, that because I don't like parties or sports or what's on television that makes me some kind of intellectual. Have you read any of this? I come across as some kind of snobbish prick, don't I? Or maybe I'm just a petulant child who throws out his perfectly nice toys because they're not the exact color he likes. But I'm not trying to sound like any of this is unfair to me, I'm just trying to say, it gets lonely. Dang I'm lonely.

Not sure where I was trying to go with this, but it's out there now, so maybe it'll be in here less.

[Nolus]

I'm getting more and more tired by the day. Not sure how long I can keep on pushing forward. July seems so far away and I have to fight so hard to get there.

[Nolus]

Some of you might've noticed that I haven't been on top of things lately. It all has arrived at a turning point yesterday.

I have decided not to attempt graduating this semester, but use half a year's time to take some much needed Swedish classes (so this time I can properly learn the language) and deal with other matters that require my attention.

Aside from Swedish courses, I'm going to learn how to drive and acquire my first driver's license.
I will get chest reconstruction surgery after I writing the last Finnish test.
I will get my name changed on degrees and whatnot.
I will enjoy spring~
I will buy a bike (finally) and try to stay in shape after surgery till I can go back to weightlifting.

I've realized that even if the stakes were truly stacked against me in various ways, and even if the factors that lead to this were out of my control, I do have a say in how I approach my problems and how I choose to deal with them.
I will graduate eventually and I will start studying translation in the future. I will learn Swedish and I will write an awesome essay. I have finally admitted that I need more time and that doesn't make me a failure. It takes me 5 and a half years to complete my bachelor's studies while others finish in 3. However, it's not like I was just sitting and twidling my tumbs in the meantime. No sir, I was busy. I battled depression and won, I got an awesome well-paying job, I've become very much independent, I've discovered who I am and took steps to live as I always should have.

I had many plans and they all crumbled one after the other for reasons mostly out of my control. I was always able to reevalute and come up with a new plan. When life closed a path with a boulder, I took the risk and ventured off the beaten path. Turns out, the trees and the bushes hide many a road that lead to many different places.

I guess the reason I'm writing all this is to finally collect my thoughts and maybe give hope to those who might be struggling with the same demons as I.

[Nitwit]

My family is treating me like a child when I asked them if they can find work for me. It's really ticking me off the past few years and it's making me want to legally leave my home to a safer place. I don't feel like I should live with them anymore. I'm 25 and with drama crap, I'm losing my mind right now. Should I skip my last semester of college just to move out of them but outta the state as well? I wish I had somebody to tell my stories to. But my folks watch me like a hawk online.

Need some personal advice on this one…

[Cutty Fram]

I don't know all details but from my own experience i'd always suggest to move out.

Being self depend is not only a great way to grow into physical and mental adulthood, but should also improve your relationship with your parents.

On the other hand you don't seem to have a job, so you definitely should focus on that first, because you can't achieve the above mentioned points if you don't have the financial independence.

Why did you ask them for the job search?

[kevo_koma]

@Nitwit:

My family is treating me like a child when I asked them if they can find work for me. It's really ticking me off the past few years and it's making me want to legally leave my home to a safer place. I don't feel like I should live with them anymore. I'm 25 and with drama crap, I'm losing my mind right now. Should I skip my last semester of college just to move out of them but outta the state as well? I wish I had somebody to tell my stories to. But my folks watch me like a hawk online.

Need some personal advice on this one…

I'll be honestv@ 25 you should not expect your parents to support you with anything. The fact that you are is what makes them treat like a child(because u still are, mentally).

You need agency in your life. Try looking for a part-time job by yourself (try online writing as an example).

Find a purpose. Live your life and I promise it'll be almost impossible to view your family as a burden

[Nitwit]

@kevo_koma:

I'll be honestv@ 25 you should not expect your parents to support you with anything. The fact that you are is what makes them treat like a child(because u still are, mentally).

You need agency in your life. Try looking for a part-time job by yourself (try online writing as an example).

Find a purpose. Live your life and I promise it'll be almost impossible to view your family as a burden

I try looking online like GameStop. But half of the opening takes place in other states. :/

Also, it goes much deeper than the just grown man fighting over his parents. I can't reveal it for personal reasons but let's just say It's a real-life dysfunctional equivalent of Family Guy but in a foreign language.

But yes, I'll try to find it online. But no Craigslist. That's full of crime and murderers there.

[thegab]

@Nitwit:

I try looking online like GameStop. But half of the opening takes place in other states. :/

Also, it goes much deeper than the just grown man fighting over his parents. I can't reveal it for personal reasons but let's just say It's a real-life dysfunctional equivalent of Family Guy but in a foreign language.

But yes, I'll try to find it online. But no Craigslist. That's full of crime and murderers there.

Indeed.com is a great site for job searching from my experience. Just gotta start applying to places even if you don't think it's a fit for you. Don't be afraid of giving those jobs a shot because they may surprise you

[Nitwit]

@thegab:

Indeed.com is a great site for job searching from my experience. Just gotta start applying to places even if you don't think it's a fit for you. Don't be afraid of giving those jobs a shot because they may surprise you

Hopefully, your right fam.

[Satsuki]

Retail is never a bad place to start, because it teaches you how to deal with customers, so don't knock it at first.

[Zack]

Edit: Edited out.

[Zar]

This post is deleted!

[Zack]

. .

[maxterdexter]

Dude, I want to help you, but I don't know what you want to do.

You are a programmer, right? Do you want to feel useful? Do you want a freelancing short job? Do you want better timewasters? Do you want better friends?

[Zack]

. .

[maxterdexter]

Are you in a condition where you need the insurance right now, or it is anxiety of what might happen if you get sick or hurt without insurance?

Timewasters, or what they really are, fun and good times are also important to do, I'm not the best example as I also overindulge, but consider the importance of R&R time.

I'd really recomend, besides finding someone to talk about these things, to either take up studying (like hackerrank or codility), an open source project, or a freelancing project, just to keep your brain juices flowing, and getting something nice for the CV.

[Zack]

. .

[maxterdexter]

Are you a naturally sickly or prone to accidents person? How many times had you gone to the doctors in the last two years?

Having that safety net is important, but try and let go of that anxiety, or talk to your folks about it. Maybe getting some insurance cheap enough to keep you protected for a while, negotiate with your parents if you can't cover it on your own. Be upfront about it, how this change is bringing you tons of anxiety that is likely to impact negatively in your life, and that having a safety net will improve your chances of getting a job as you'll be more focused on that objective instead of trying to curb your fears.

Well, I don't know your home life either, so that is why I go with negotiate, paint it as a loan or investment to them. Shows maturity and responsibility. If you get quotes and budgets that fit your needs would also be a plus.

–- Update From New Post Merge ---

Its the weird divide of childhood and adulthood, needing help and asking for help.

[Zack]

. .

[Nolus]

Dating is hard. This is the first time I'm doing this (my previous relationships came out of the blue), and it is more draining that I anticipated them to be. On one hand, I'm emotionally stable enough to not get crushed by the continous rejections I face, on the other, it's still exhausting.
I guess I'm at a disadvantage, what with being a transman early in his transition, with no dongly bits between my legs to speak of and mainly looking for guys. I have to keep in mind that while most guys reject me on behalf of me being trans, it doesn't mean I'm less worthy of a relationship than any random schmo out there.

It would be dishonest of me to say it doesn't affect me negatively though. It's nothing I can't manage, but still.

[Nitwit]

This post is deleted!

[AfroSamurai]

how the hell did the bot change the thread title? goddamn

[Nitwit]

@AfroSamurai:

how the hell did the bot change the thread title? goddamn

I have no idea? Can they actually do that? A human I get. But a bot changing the thread name…....