Confession Session II

Foolio

I don't know why you tend to interpret my post in the most negative way possible. :P Sarcasm is uncalled for.

I doubt that you yourself know what the hell you're saying most of the time. But you definitely just told a teenager to stop looking for role models and not to put importance on the views of parents. Your posts are just so out of touch with reality that it's absurd. Stop giving people with real pain and real problems ridiculous lofty advice based on philosophical ramblings that you don't even understand.

Robby

@Crickeylynn:

Feeling angry at the moment.

hugs Things WILL get better. Like folks keep saying… it's not just you. Job market sucks right now.

@Epoida:

I've already lost respect for my mother and the things she has done, so now who will I look up to? Not like my dad listened anyway, but at least he acted more responsible.

Look up to your friends. Other family members. Famous people that do a lot of good. Obviously don't have a lot of details, but… you're parents are just people too. They have their faults and problems and failings... but I'm sure they've still done their best for you over the years. No one's perfect, and you shouldn't expect anyone to be. But you can look at the positive parts... and look to others for inspiration.

@Prismeru:

Uh, it's the confession thread so i can safely say that right? Or will my post get erased? :(

No, it's quite normal to want to punch Sea in the face when he gets like this.

Dryish

Behave, people. Levying that accusation at him every time gets old, I'm fairly sure he understands exactly what he's talking about. Sometimes what he says might not be appropriate in the context of the situations but come on. Point that out, don't get distracted by the words. e_e

Although, honestly, I think the advice is kind of good? Looking for role models isn't necessarily the best thing to do in a situation where people are behaving in ways that are not appropriate? Everyone knows what feels right to them, and if people around Epoida are making her unhappy then the best way for her to handle it is, like Robby said, to seek support from elsewhere and to try to deal with the situation herself as best as she can. Look for inspiration and advice, not a role model.

But obviously don't disregard your dad, Epoida. He's clearly very stressed because of your financial situation, and people just sometimes can't take it all in stride. He's having a hard time too. You can try to reason with him when he's not in a foul mood and tell him how you feel, if at all possible. :/

Foolio

@Dryish:

Behave, people. Levying that accusation at him every time gets old, I'm fairly sure he understands exactly what he's talking about. Sometimes what he says might not be appropriate in the context of the situations but come on. Point that out, don't get distracted by the words. e_e

Although, honestly, I think the advice is kind of good? Looking for role models isn't necessarily the best thing to do in a situation where people are behaving in ways that are not appropriate? Everyone knows what feels right to them, and if people around Epoida are making her unhappy then the best way for her to handle it is, like Robby said, to seek support from elsewhere and to try to deal with the situation herself as best as she can. Look for inspiration and advice, not a role model.

But obviously don't disregard your dad, Epoida. He's clearly very stressed because of your financial situation, and people just sometimes can't take it all in stride. He's having a hard time too. You can try to reason with him when he's not in a foul mood and tell him how you feel, if at all possible. :/

Umm a role model is basically by definition someone to whom you can turn for inspiration and/or advice. Someone whose values or characteristics you admire, so you seek to follow that example when you yourself are unsure. So I'm not sure what your point is. It can be anyone – naturally if your family is really getting you down, you look for it elsewhere. But what you don't do is say "hah screw everyone, I don't need no stinkin' advice and I don't look up to nobody!" You know, especially someone who's in pain because they don't feel they have anyone to turn to anymore?

But either way I'm tired of arguing against what you think maybe people were trying to say even if it's not what they actually wrote. And when in fact, based on history, what he posts might not even be written by him to begin with.

Dryish

Uh, I think the problem here is that the way Sea (and I) approach the whole concept of a role model is that it's someone whose behaviour should be copied? And when stuff like the situation Epoida's in now is so situational and unique no manner of copying is going to help out? Inspiration and mental support is a totally different thing that everyone should get because that helps to handle these situations on one's own - that's what we're trying to say.

And, dude, we're talking about someone whose style I've been in touch with for ages at this point. I know what he's trying to say, his style is just… outlandish for discussions like this. e_e

Foolio

@Dryish:

Uh, I think the problem here is that the way Sea (and I) approach the whole concept of a role model is that it's someone whose behaviour should be copied? And when stuff like the situation Epoida's in now is so situational and unique no manner of copying is going to help out? Inspiration and mental support is a totally different thing that everyone should get because that helps to handle these situations on one's own - that's what we're trying to say.

And, dude, we're talking about someone whose style I've been in touch with for ages at this point. I know what he's trying to say, his style is just… outlandish for discussions like this. e_e

You're splitting pointless semantic hairs. I'm the one who used the term "role model" and I used it the way normal people use it, which is not to say someone you mindlessly emulate. It's someone you legitimately look up to, often someone who motivates you to become better and do X things as well as them.

His direct advice: "Don't look up to anyone."

This is awful advice. And whatever the point of the rest of the post was, it didn't belong here, as you pointed out. You know what, I know how to solve this problem. Ye olde thredd bann.

Dryish

Yet his post basically boils down to "be independent and take the good, but don't emulate because that brings the bad with it". Hmm, that was just some pretty bad use of words there, I'm starting to think. Looking up to someone is the same as appreciating them. v_v

Foolio

I don't get that AT ALL out of what he wrote. Not even close. Not even a bit. And the first sentence is direct and unambiguous. Sorry.

Dryish

Ehh, what he's basically saying is that no one should idolize anyone, the emulating part is just conjecture that, knowing him, he probably thought was so logically the next step that it didn't need to be mentioned. Independent thinking does involve learning from the good example of others, after all. shrugs

It's just a really bad use of the phrase "look up to" because that means something slightly different than he thought it does.

We shouldn't make this too much about Sea, though. Poor Epoida deserves more attention. :c

Epoida

Thank you all for your advice, but did I cause an argument here? :sad:

Robby

@Epoida:

Thank you all for your advice, but did I cause an argument here? :sad:

You didn't, don't fret about it.

The problems with Sea/Shipmate go back a long time and were bound to come up somewhere or another, be it in this thread or somewhere else.

Noqanky

I think it's an exaggeration to consider role models the same as idolizing.

You CAN be aware of the faults of a role model. You CAN notice their mistakes and errors and growth, and in part that can lead to you appreciating them as role models. Idolizing is different, it involves putting someone on a pedestal and assuming they are perfect, and then eternally comparing yourself to them and always feeling like you'll never be as good as they are because you're not perfect like they are. HUGE difference.

Regarding having role models, I don't think it's a negative thing or that it discourages independent thought, depending on how you see a role model. The fact is that humans learn vicariously and if you admire the way someone has gone on about their life and want to emulate that, that is just reflecting the way we learn.
Also, yes, the fact is that when we see other we project ourselves onto them a lot and perceive them as merely extensions of ourselves. In that sense, isn't having a role model an awesome thing? Because then it means you're projecting the best qualities, or your greatest desires, onto someone else and using that image to inspire yourself to actually achieve that better personal state.

But to answer the better question, I think the goal is to find the best out of each person and learning to admire them for that. Then as opposed to having just one role model you learn to model the best of everyone around you and as such become, possibly, a more balanced individual. Keeping in mind, of course, that's it's not an exercise in comparison but in learning.

ShinigamiKing

I generally have symptoms of "depression"….

but usually everyday, I feel okay, happy, normal, etc.

what is that?

I mean I usually have negative thoughts about myself, yet at home, or even at school sometimes, I don't feel bad at all, even with those thoughts. It's only when something comes up or when I'm bored that I actually begin to feel and act like shit.

Femme

I'm anxious. And nervous. And really really anxious.

This Saturday my academy is holding an event for kids in which they will be creating and selling their own handmade items, be it food, art, jewellery, etc., to learn entrepreneurial skills.

There will be 40 tables and more or less 60 kids, each table having one parent to supervise.
Problem is that some parents have kids who want to do something that needs an electrical connection, like power for a laptop, an air hockey table, a chocolate fondue machine, or a cotton candy machine, and much much more.

There are only 5 outlets in the venue we have, and so it's been incredibly irritating having to deal with all the parents who want to bring a microwave but we have to tell them they can't, because too many appliances will trip fuses.

Finally, after narrowing down the most unique ideas, we got to 7 devices for the 5 outlets, and arranged them accordingly.
Now, one parent e-mails me saying they just spent over $300 to get an actual commercial cotton candy machine, not a smaller one like I thought they originally had, and after trying to get a hold of the maintenance dude all week, I finally get him on the phone and he says that two coffee percolators in one outlet will make the fuse trip.

I'm scared. I can just imagine even though we're going through this painstaking process of telling people to bring low-load appliances, a fuse will trip, some kids' business will have to halt while I scatter like a headless chicken to find a maintenance person who can flick back the fuse switch and then have to deal with the kids' appliance and where they will have to go after.

I have a team for this event, but I know that this ugly process of having to deal with the parents will be up to me.

Prismeru

@Femme:

I'm anxious. And nervous. And really really anxious.

This Saturday my academy is holding an event for kids in which they will be creating and selling their own handmade items, be it food, art, jewellery, etc., to learn entrepreneurial skills.

There will be 40 tables and more or less 60 kids, each table having one parent to supervise.
Problem is that some parents have kids who want to do something that needs an electrical connection, like power for a laptop, an air hockey table, a chocolate fondue machine, or a cotton candy machine, and much much more.

There are only 5 outlets in the venue we have, and so it's been incredibly irritating having to deal with all the parents who want to bring a microwave but we have to tell them they can't, because too many appliances will trip fuses.

Finally, after narrowing down the most unique ideas, we got to 7 devices for the 5 outlets, and arranged them accordingly.
Now, one parent e-mails me saying they just spent over $300 to get an actual commercial cotton candy machine, not a smaller one like I thought they originally had, and after trying to get a hold of the maintenance dude all week, I finally get him on the phone and he says that two coffee percolators in one outlet will make the fuse trip.

I'm scared. I can just imagine even though we're going through this painstaking process of telling people to bring low-load appliances, a fuse will trip, some kids' business will have to halt while I scatter like a headless chicken to find a maintenance person who can flick back the fuse switch and then have to deal with the kids' appliance and where they will have to go after.

I have a team for this event, but I know that this ugly process of having to deal with the parents will be up to me.

Tell the parents to chip in for a gasoline generator. Heck, one of them may already have one….uh, well, i guess that can work? I've never used one (I really have no idea and this was just an honest suggestion).

Femme

@Prismeru:

Tell the parents to chip in for a gasoline generator. Heck, one of them may already have one….uh, well, i guess that can work? I've never used one (I really have no idea and this was just an honest suggestion).

Omg you're brilliant! Having a portable power source in case of emergencies is a great idea.

Thank youuuuuuu <33333

Dryish

@Femme:

Omg you're brilliant! Having a portable power source in case of emergencies is a great idea.

Thank youuuuuuu <33333

You could also get extension cords and some portable AC sockets like these:

!

Femme

@Dryish:

You could also get extension cords and some portable AC sockets like these:

! http://i01.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v0/733256371_1/NEW-font-b-Portable-b-font-plug-socket-Universal-font-b-AC-b-font-Power-Plug.jpg

Only thing is, even if there are 8 sockets in an extension cord, if the circuit that the outlet is connected to cannot handle more than one appliance, it will still trip a fuse. If I understand correctly.

Dryish

Hmm, yeah, maybe. That sounds quite weird, though. Normally most outlets should be able to handle more than that. shrugs

Femme

Well it depends on the specs of each appliance, right? If it's just a laptop connection and a lamp, then it's fine, but if it's a commercial cotton candy machine using like 1000 Watts and an air hockey table using 500W, then maybe not. It all depends on how much load the circuit is designed to handle, or else the fuse gets tripped.

Dryish

Yeah, that's true, but if the parents of the kids want to bring laptops and whatnot then you can at least arrange a single portable AC socket system somewhere and have them use their laptops and less demanding appliances there while the other outlets are reserved for appliances that use more power, right?

That's probably the most convenient solution. That and the portable power source combined. :o

Prismeru

Those outlets look evil.

Dryish

@Prismeru:

Those outlets look evil.

Let's all move to Denmark. They have sockets that look like these:

Foolio

@Dryish:

Hmm, yeah, maybe. That sounds quite weird, though. Normally most outlets should be able to handle more than that. shrugs

She said 7 appliances to 5 outlets, but we have no idea how it's wired. Most homes link several outlets to the same breaker or fuse, each of which is rated for some total draw of current (usually like 20 amps). If the wiring is old, it may be even less, or done in an unreliable setup (the fact that it's using fuses to begin with means it's old). So it really depends on how much crap is also running off the same circuit, such as lights, air conditioning, whatever. Cause some appliances really do draw a shitton of power. Microwaves, laser printers, etc.

Epoida

@Dryish:

Let's all move to Denmark. They have sockets that look like these:

http://www.internationalconfig.com/prod_shot/78117.jpg

Ahhh, so happy! The sockets in America look so sad…

Femme

@Dryish:

Yeah, that's true, but if the parents of the kids want to bring laptops and whatnot then you can at least arrange a single portable AC socket system somewhere and have them use their laptops and less demanding appliances there while the other outlets are reserved for appliances that use more power, right?

That's probably the most convenient solution. That and the portable power source combined. :o

You and I think alike, Monsieur Perroquet! Was honestly just thinking that. Thanks, glad to know that my thoughts make sense to others.

Dryish

@Foolio:

She said 7 appliances to 5 outlets, but we have no idea how it's wired. Most homes link several outlets to the same breaker or fuse, each of which is rated for some total draw of current (usually like 20 amps). If the wiring is old, it may be even less, or done in an unreliable setup (the fact that it's using fuses to begin with means it's old). So it really depends on how much crap is also running off the same circuit, such as lights, air conditioning, whatever. Cause some appliances really do draw a shitton of power. Microwaves, laser printers, etc.

Yeah, this is the problem right here. Femme, do you know if anyone's got the wiring diagram that you could check?

Femme

@Foolio:

She said 7 appliances to 5 outlets, but we have no idea how it's wired. Most homes link several outlets to the same breaker or fuse, each of which is rated for some total draw of current (usually like 20 amps). If the wiring is old, it may be even less, or done in an unreliable setup (the fact that it's using fuses to begin with means it's old). So it really depends on how much crap is also running off the same circuit, such as lights, air conditioning, whatever. Cause some appliances really do draw a shitton of power. Microwaves, laser printers, etc.

Exactly. And the maintenance dude doesn't seem to know the electrical map or have it, so it's all one huge guessing game. One outlet on the front side of the room and the one on the back side of the room might be in the same circuit, and there might be one random one that is connected to a circuit of its' own -_- so scary.

@Dryish:

Yeah, this is the problem right here. Femme, do you know if anyone's got the wiring diagram that you could check?

D: Nope. I'll try bothering my boss to pressure the venue place more to find out.

Dryish

Welp, that's a problem then. Prismeru's advice seems better by the minute. =.=

Femme

Indeed. Thanks a lot for feeling my pain and helping me find a solution guys :) <3

Prismeru

You should also check if the gasoline generator exudes dangerous fumes or heats a lot. Maybe you should have it just outside and have some extension cords? I mean, Safety's first right? Wait, that was when i was still a child. I reckon child value has really gone down with the years like property value.

Outerspec

@Prismeru:

You should also check if the gasoline generator exudes dangerous fumes or heats a lot. Maybe you should have it just outside and have some extension cords? I mean, Safety's first right? Wait, that was when i was still a child. I reckon child value has really gone down with the years like property value.

I'm sure you're joking about comparing the value of a child to something like property in terms of depreciation but meh…

As for safety, regulations have actually gone up to hysterical levels. Playgrounds without metal slides are nice but I have to fill out an incident report form every time a child falls or runs into a wall or something. You know how many times kids do that? TOO MANY TIMES! But I fulfill my duty and fill out the forms. Just in case.

Prismeru

Was that too much? Sorry, i forget to turn off my "horrible person" setting.

Print Error

I'm so mentally exhausted in the evenings I find it hard to actually post longer stuff anywhere. I can still respond quickly to things but doing in-depth is trickier, mostly because from when I get home around 8, I'm just wanting to sleep. It's getting frustrating because it feels like I'm living my life at work, and not at home at all. But then housemate is still being housemate, so it's hard to think in the first place. And we still have moths x_x

Sorry for not being around much in any meaningful sense, everyone.

Might be easier once I've finished the big project that I'm pretty much running solo. And definitely should be easier once I move closer to work in a few months.

Outerspec

@Print:

I'm so mentally exhausted in the evenings I find it hard to actually post longer stuff anywhere. I can still respond quickly to things but doing in-depth is trickier, mostly because from when I get home around 8, I'm just wanting to sleep. It's getting frustrating because it feels like I'm living my life at work, and not at home at all. But then housemate is still being housemate, so it's hard to think in the first place. And we still have moths x_x

Sorry for not being around much in any meaningful sense, everyone.

Might be easier once I've finished the big project that I'm pretty much running solo. And definitely should be easier once I move closer to work in a few months.

It's ok Print. I imagine you are occupied by many tiny magical adventures in the space between leaving work and getting home so it's completely understandable you're exhausted. Just be safe and I hope you don't get too stressed out.

Arei

@Print:

I'm so mentally exhausted in the evenings I find it hard to actually post longer stuff anywhere. I can still respond quickly to things but doing in-depth is trickier, mostly because from when I get home around 8, I'm just wanting to sleep. It's getting frustrating because it feels like I'm living my life at work, and not at home at all. But then housemate is still being housemate, so it's hard to think in the first place. And we still have moths x_x

Sorry for not being around much in any meaningful sense, everyone.

Might be easier once I've finished the big project that I'm pretty much running solo. And definitely should be easier once I move closer to work in a few months.

Same here, when I get home from work, I am too tired to brain. I'm sure everyone likes that I'm not posting text walls XDDDD But I hate when I'm so tired my brain just doesn't know what to say.

Work doesn't respect my right to having a fucking break. I work evenings and I keep getting stuck working on the weekends. I came back home to have a social life and now I have no time >___> I hope someone gets back to me soon and I can has new joooob.

Nolus

Why do I sometimes feel that the whole world wants me to be…. like the others? Like... I can't really be myself without others telling me "Oh but just try this and that, a little girly stuff will do you good!" Why does the world want to create some unity within itself that is both impossible and not really that great?

I just... want to be myself. But my self is out of the norm so it's not approved or something.

Outerspec

@Nolus:

Why do I sometimes feel that the whole world wants me to be…. like the others? Like... I can't really be myself without others telling me "Oh but just try this and that, a little girly stuff will do you good!" Why does the world want to create some unity within itself that is both impossible and not really that great?

I just... want to be myself. But my self is out of the norm so it's not approved or something.

It's not the world. It's just the people around you. There are 7 billion people here and not everyone will treat you the same. You might feel like the world wants you to be a certain way because of the ones you constantly associate with. The people that make up "your world"but once you expand your circle you'll see the world differently.

Farsighted Annie

I have just recently found out that my paternal granddad just might die who knows how soon. It's making me feel like crap because my paternal grandmother is suffering because of his situation. It pains me to see my granddad like he is now. I am aware of the strong possibility that my granddad will die. There is nothing I can do about it other than be a pillar of strength for my family.

Outerspec

@Farsighted:

I have just recently found out that my paternal granddad just might die who knows how soon. It's making me feel like crap because my paternal grandmother is suffering because of his situation. It pains me to see my granddad like he is now. I am aware of the strong possibility that my granddad will die. There is nothing I can do about it other than be a pillar of strength for my family.

I encourage you to spend as much time with him as you can and call him up. I'm sure he'd love to see and hear from you as much as you'd love it too. These precious moments are fleeting but they're here so take hold of them when you can. I'm sorry for your situation and your family's. Continue to be that support.

Farsighted Annie

Thank you for that it means a lot to me, but I forgot to mention that my paternal granddad doesn't remember me or any family members . I'm still going to try to see him even . In the condition that my granddad is in he doesn't even remember my grandma. Back when he was "better" I could relate to to the Adventure time song, Nuts/ I remember you" because my granddad was a tiny bit eccentric.

Outerspec

I understand. Well, it seems you have fond memories with him. =] Remember them when you visit because that's the man he truly is and will be remembered as by all of his loved ones, like you.

Farsighted Annie

Again, Thank You, He used to tell long winded, but interesting stories that I wouldn't give to hear again. I'll keep the positive memories on the inside of me.

Femme

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cpuguy18

[hide]I have a high libido [/hide]

Outerspec

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Femme

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Outerspec

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Femme

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Outerspec

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