Fresh start for the thread! As the original topic stated quite nicely: "This thread is to get anything off your chest without the fear of being ridiculed or judged."
Be respectful and try to stay on topic and we'll all get along :)
Confession Session II
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I confess to picking my nose and letting my dog eat my boogers P:
late april fools
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I know we're not supposed to judge but…yech.
I confess that for some of the kids I deal with on a weekly basis I wish they didn't go to school, or at least this school.
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I gotta get in on the first page!
! Used to smuggle the occasional pizza pie out of Papa Johns every now and again while I was working there.
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I confess that everytime I see someone banned all of a sudden I start fearing that it might happen to me too.
And then I want to become a senior member even harder! They never get banned right?
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I once shoplifted when i was 14 just to see what it felt like.
I was running an errand for my mum, buying some bread and milk. After I paid for the stuff and received the shopping bags,
I took another stroll around the shop and discreetly threw a choc bar in one of the bags. Small-time, but still stealing.Felt really shitty afterwards and never did it again.
EDIT:
@Light:I confess that everytime I see someone banned all of a sudden I start fearing that it might happen to me too.
On a semi-related note, you just reminded me of the hilarious moment when, during the 2011 mass-ban purge, King/RageOfSarus demanded to know why i wasn't included.
I don't think i've ever exchanged a single word with him before, so his comment made me chuckle because it seemed so random and unprovoked. XD -
I've only ever been joke banned, yet another reason to hate April fool's day, maybe I should be more confrontational.
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Since it kind of got lost at the end of the previous CS…
So you've probably read my "status updates" recently in the Day thread so you know that I kinda fell in love again. But this time, the boy also fell in love with me, so it's the best feeling in the world right now for me.
And with this feeling came thousands of more. For example I started to hate distance and the fact that teleports aren't invented yet.
More seriously, there is another boy (who is, again, younger than me. I see a pattern here). He was the first one to truly notice that something was going on between me and the other boy (for comprehension's sake, BoyA will be the one I'm in love with and BoyB will be the other). So after talking with me, BoyB admitted that he was kinda into me too but was afraid to take the first steps because he saw that I was… how do I say it... fragile. And didn't want to hurt me accidentally or something like that. He's totally cool with us getting together, he doesn't want me to choose him or anything.I don't know, I just wanted to write this somewhere, because it occupies my thoughts a little bit too much nowadays.
The other thing is a little bit... well I know I have nothing to hide but I'll still put hide tags around it so those who don't want to read it can skip it.
Aww, congratulations Nolus. Really happy for you, you deserve this happiness :)
Hoping everything works out well for you.–- Update From New Post Merge ---
@Light:
I confess that everytime I see someone banned all of a sudden I start fearing that it might happen to me too.
And then I want to become a senior member even harder! They never get banned right?
It's not like we have tenure.
moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon
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I confess I am scared of (vaccine)needles even though they never hurt me ;w; Had two vaccines done today and I twice jumped when I saw the needles xP
My 3DS Friend Code: 1091 - 8457 - 8212
~Goronyanya~
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Ahhhh I'm smiling so hard right now, so happy for you Nolus!!! I hope everything goes well when you get to meet in person, and he is a swell guy :love:
Also why in the hell is it saying there are more pages but they loop back??? Was there another pissing match I missed?
@Sailor:
Since it kind of got lost at the end of the previous CS…
Aww, congratulations Nolus. Really happy for you, you deserve this happiness :)
Hoping everything works out well for you.Thanks guys :)
@Chrissie:I confess I am scared of (vaccine)needles even though they never hurt me ;w; Had two vaccines done today and I twice jumped when I saw the needles xP
Same here. Somehow the look of those makes me shiver~
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I confess I am scared of (vaccine)needles even though they never hurt me ;w; Had two vaccines done today and I twice jumped when I saw the needles xP
;_; it's all for a really good cause
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I hope everything works out well for you too Nolus and please do be careful.
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Thanks guys :)
Same here. Somehow the look of those makes me shiver~
I'm so happy for you (c'mon, everytime someone is loved in the world everyone should be happier :3 ) and About the inexperience you only have to know what you feel for each other, be comfortable with each other and don't be ashamed of anything: you really like each other and it will be a joyous ocasion, your ocasion. Don't give a damn about anything. It will be just you two and it will be great :3 Aw, shucks. I'm gonna get emotional.
Edit:
Funny thing about how i sleep. I only sleep like 3,4 hours in the night and at mid-day i get like another hour of sleep (I work from home so i can). At first i thought it was because i had a routine then someone pointed me out that i could be because the frequent depressions that i suffer (which i didn't have any when i was in Japan, yay!). I still wonder the reason but in Monday i went out with a friend that is kinda a workholic and when i told her how little i slept she told she was jealous because that way she could work more…Days later, i think i'm mad at that comment. Don't know.
Ah, that's right! And when i told my mother that i'm afraid i might be bipolar or suffer from depression (or something like that given my background with attention disorder and Hiperactivity) she told me "No mames" which is kinda "Cut the crap out" i guess?
Uh, yay?
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This post is deleted!
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How can I say this…..
[hide]My mom said I need to see a psychologist…I doubt he/she can help me. Things like: I´m a total failure in life, I´m invisible to everyone, I live in a sea of lies and the thought that I hate myself is always in my mind. I don´t have ANY motivation to live, but I don´t want to die now. I don´t have friends (most of them are dead) and the only people I talk to is my sick mother, so is hard to be happy.
Everything I try to do, ends up in total failure OR, it becomes impossible to do, so I give up. I see people my age or younger being happy and I can´t be happy..I ask to myself "Why this is so hard for me ? I am a idiot ? I have mental problems ? Why I can´t do nothing ?"
I see me, all alone with no help, I try to cry, I try to battle, but nothing works..I just try to forget about that, I live me life and go to sleep, waiting for tomorrow. [/hide]
Sorry..
When AP used to be good:
NEVER FORGET !!
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OT: How can I say this…..
[hide]My mom said I need to see a psychologist…I doubt he/she can help me. Things like: I´m a total failure in life, I´m invisible to everyone, I live in a sea of lies and the thought that I hate myself is always in my mind. I don´t have ANY motivation to live, but I don´t want to die now. I don´t have friends (most of them are dead) and the only people I talk to is my sick mother, so is hard to be happy. Everything I try to do, ends up in total failure OR, it becomes impossible to do. I see people my age or younger being happy and I can´t be happy..I ask to myself "Why this is so hard for me ? I am a idiot ? I have mental problems ? Why I can´t do nothing ?"
And I see me, all alone with no help, I try to cry, I try to battle, but nothing works..I just try to forget about that, I live me life and go to sleep, waiting for tomorrow. [/hide]
Sorry..
That's not OT at all. In fact, that's the sort of thing this thread is here for, so people have a place to post things like that.
! That does sound like pretty harsh depression. It's hard to do pretty much anything in that state, so well done on achieving the library stuff you've posted about elsewhere. I'm not sure about how things are in Brazil, but is there a chance you might be able to get some anti-depressants? They won't fix things but they might make it a little easier to cope, if that makes sense?
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How can I say this…..
[hide]My mom said I need to see a psychologist…I doubt he/she can help me. Things like: I´m a total failure in life, I´m invisible to everyone, I live in a sea of lies and the thought that I hate myself is always in my mind. I don´t have ANY motivation to live, but I don´t want to die now. I don´t have friends (most of them are dead) and the only people I talk to is my sick mother, so is hard to be happy.
Everything I try to do, ends up in total failure OR, it becomes impossible to do, so I give up. I see people my age or younger being happy and I can´t be happy..I ask to myself "Why this is so hard for me ? I am a idiot ? I have mental problems ? Why I can´t do nothing ?"
I see me, all alone with no help, I try to cry, I try to battle, but nothing works..I just try to forget about that, I live me life and go to sleep, waiting for tomorrow. [/hide]
Sorry..
! Haha, at the least you're not alone in feeling all of that. I'm exactly in the same boat, where for a long time the only company I have is the family I have to take care of. And then when one person was giving me a home and security, BAM she left randomly and I was left worse.
! But you know what, a couple of things become obvious from this vantage point we're on- First, AP is actually a pretty fucking phenomenal place. Seriously, let's consider how quirky and weird and still abnormally well informed and wise people are here. It personally makes no sense to me, that a forum focused on a japanese children's comic would lead to a community of very bright and interesting people. And here's the thing … you're one of the integral components of that group of people. Like we all know you, and mawile and cirno and the questions in the sig and the quest to work in libraries* ... you're definitely not invisible. And while it is weird to be visible in an internet site but invisible in the real world ... considering the people one gets to interact with here, I think sometimes that's for the better. It gives you a greater context for the world instead of just the bubble you live in.
- Second, I genuinely believe that people that wind up in this sort of situation can aim for more. Sometimes the dissatisfaction is the result of the fact that everyone around you fits comfortably in this preconceived narration of what life is supposed to be like, and while it's not wrong of them to be that way, it's certainly wrong for some of us to try and fit into that. Sometimes being invisible and not fitting in one society or generation or culture just means you're part of a completely different one, one that can perhaps accomplish completely different things that those other people would never even bother to think about.
! Keep on living. I know it's hard to maintain that motivation, I really do. I've spent weeks just lying in bed not wanting to do anything, because frankly the weight of the world really can be too much. But at the least we must keep going until we find that one place, or that one group of people, in which we can actually be the best of ourselves and shine. And really, it's all about the journey.
Hopefully that helps you. In part I also hope it helps me.
! *Man, I really really hope I'm thinking of the right person. IT'd be horrible and embarrasing if I were wrong xD -
Needles make me a little uneasy but I can take them…..relatively well. My brother goes apeshit, though.
_@Nolus:
So after talking with me, BoyB admitted that he was kinda into me too but was afraid to take the first steps because he saw that I was… how do I say it... fragile. And didn't want to hurt me accidentally or something like that. He's totally cool with us getting together, he doesn't want me to choose him or anything._ I just wanted to write my own congrats, Nolus but this caught my eye. It's nice to see that he doesn't want to put any pressure or make you uncomfortable or something.
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How can I say this…..
[hide]My mom said I need to see a psychologist…I doubt he/she can help me. Things like: I´m a total failure in life, I´m invisible to everyone, I live in a sea of lies and the thought that I hate myself is always in my mind. I don´t have ANY motivation to live, but I don´t want to die now. I don´t have friends (most of them are dead) and the only people I talk to is my sick mother, so is hard to be happy.
Everything I try to do, ends up in total failure OR, it becomes impossible to do, so I give up. I see people my age or younger being happy and I can´t be happy..I ask to myself "Why this is so hard for me ? I am a idiot ? I have mental problems ? Why I can´t do nothing ?"
I see me, all alone with no help, I try to cry, I try to battle, but nothing works..I just try to forget about that, I live me life and go to sleep, waiting for tomorrow. [/hide]
Sorry..
[Hide]Your new job seems to make you happy. Concentrate on that. It's not common for people to get paid for something they really like to do. You have that opportunity and maybe you can take advantage of that. When you're not working keep yourself occupied at home when you can. Read a book, watch a movie, tv, games, anything. If it helps keep your mind off of depressing thoughts and it's safe it IS productive.
You're not a failure. It's one thing for someone else to call you this but when you think it yourself the implications are far more hurtful . I think you should at least consider seeing a therapsit/psychologist and don't write it off so easily. You never know if he/she might be able to help. A person you can talk to face to face. A person that will listen and offer professional advice.
Take care of yourself and there's no need to apologize.[/hide]
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How can I say this…..
[hide]My mom said I need to see a psychologist…I doubt he/she can help me. Things like: I´m a total failure in life, I´m invisible to everyone, I live in a sea of lies and the thought that I hate myself is always in my mind. I don´t have ANY motivation to live, but I don´t want to die now. I don´t have friends (most of them are dead) and the only people I talk to is my sick mother, so is hard to be happy.
Everything I try to do, ends up in total failure OR, it becomes impossible to do, so I give up. I see people my age or younger being happy and I can´t be happy..I ask to myself "Why this is so hard for me ? I am a idiot ? I have mental problems ? Why I can´t do nothing ?"
I see me, all alone with no help, I try to cry, I try to battle, but nothing works..I just try to forget about that, I live me life and go to sleep, waiting for tomorrow. [/hide]
Sorry..
There are thousands if not millions of yous all over the world and probably even just in Brazil. You're not alone on this, not even close.
And those smiley people you see are probably nowhere near as carefree as you imagine either. Everything outside of you looks shiny when you're in a depression, and when it's a social type depression people especially look shiny.
The change is really slow, but don't give up battling. You're making progress that you just don't notice. It might be years honestly, but you are moving if you're battling. -
Grandma woke up this morning. She can't do anything but blink and wiggle her toes on command
funny how emotional and incredible a simple blink can be
She's still really weak and can easily take a turn for the worse but we're gonna watch her close the next few days (I'll probably fly back to GA this weekend if things keep improving). Gonna head in again later and pull another all nighter in the icu since we have a new night nurse tonight
The lady two rooms over woke up too and looked at me when I walked by. I'm really glad.
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Aaah…..it's like last fall visiting my grandmother is coming back to me. It's sweet you're pulling all nighters to be with her.
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Aaah…..it's like last fall visiting my grandmother is coming back to me. It's sweet you're pulling all nighters to be with her.
:)
Well like the first night we stayed, her O2 level started dropping and this one idiot (who looked exactly like a human version of Wildcat from Tailspin) kept saying it was ok and to not trust the machine because she was hypothermic. We refused to leave until they did a blood test and it turned out she was accruing fluid in her lungs or something. Anyway since she kind of wakes up off and on now, we just want to be there so she's not scared or anything.
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@taBills:
Well like the first night we stayed, her O2 level started dropping and this one idiot (who looked exactly like a human version of Wildcat from Tailspin) kept saying it was ok and to not trust the machine because she was hypothermic. We refused to leave until they did a blood test and it turned out she was accruing fluid in her lungs or something. Anyway since she kind of wakes up off and on now, we just want to be there so she's not scared or anything.
See? That's why you gotta hammer the staff so little (read: major) errors like that don't happen. But I agree, someone being there when she wakes up would definitely help the recovery process, at least in an emotional sense.
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@Print Error: Thanks for worrying about me, but I do not believe in medicine, because my mother has to take several medicines and she never gets better. I think a personal help is better.
@Noqanky: I know how AP can be helpful, AP forums helped me to not commit suicide in 2009, thanks for saying that, I didn´t knew people knew me or that I am one of the integral components of this forums. I like to be alone for some time, but other times I want to see new things, do new things and meet new people. But, I´m just..weird (hard to fit), I know this is a good thing, but still…. I do have a group of friends (in my new job and on skype), the only problem is that they all live far away.
@Outerspec: I've been in therapy ever since I was 6 years old, and it was years and years of help, I can say that I have improved a lot. But due to money problems and prejudice, I stopped having my sections, today was my first serious depression since 2009. I have to find a good therapsit first..and this will be hard. Thanks for those kind words, I appreciate this.
@Monky King: I know that I´m not alone, and I know that are people in a far worst condition than me. As I said, I was worst in 2009, and even if I did lot´s of stuff in 2010,11,12,13. (college, filiation in NGO´s trips around Brazil, a new job and a new girfriend), it´s hard to overcome depression.
Thanks you all, you guys really helped me today...AGAIN.
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How can I say this…..
[hide]My mom said I need to see a psychologist…I doubt he/she can help me. Things like: I´m a total failure in life, I´m invisible to everyone, I live in a sea of lies and the thought that I hate myself is always in my mind. I don´t have ANY motivation to live, but I don´t want to die now. I don´t have friends (most of them are dead) and the only people I talk to is my sick mother, so is hard to be happy.
Everything I try to do, ends up in total failure OR, it becomes impossible to do, so I give up. I see people my age or younger being happy and I can´t be happy..I ask to myself "Why this is so hard for me ? I am a idiot ? I have mental problems ? Why I can´t do nothing ?"
I see me, all alone with no help, I try to cry, I try to battle, but nothing works..I just try to forget about that, I live me life and go to sleep, waiting for tomorrow. [/hide]
Sorry..
As someone who suffers from anxiety and depression I promise you aren't the only one who feels that way. Seeing a doctor about it is a good thing. And if you ever need to talk about things. Feel free to message me.
Taboo, glad to hear your grandmother is doing a bit better. I hate being in hospitals and especially the icu. I can still remember my dad being there. Glad y'all are staying on top of the staff. My thoughts are still with you and your family.
Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk -
I gotta get in on the first page!
! Used to smuggle the occasional pizza pie out of Papa Johns every now and again while I was working there.
I bet you were the coolest guy in school ;D
@Light:
I confess that everytime I see someone banned all of a sudden I start fearing that it might happen to me too.
And then I want to become a senior member even harder! They never get banned right?
I'm sure if a senior was really being a dick they could get kicked out but they usually pick the more chill, amicable folks to be seniors. If you go around causing drama and trouble thats probably a disqualification already. Anyone could snap one day, so you never know.
And I confess your sig still makes my day.
I confess I am scared of (vaccine)needles even though they never hurt me ;w; Had two vaccines done today and I twice jumped when I saw the needles xP
The worst are friggen IM needles. I had to get the chickenpox vaccine since I never had it as a kid and holy fuck. A normal shot makes my arm sore for a day or 2, both times I was sore for 2 weeks >_<;;; Very painfully sore… and my grandpa slapped my arm right after I had it done ><
Funny thing about how i sleep. I only sleep like 3,4 hours in the night and at mid-day i get like another hour of sleep (I work from home so i can). At first i thought it was because i had a routine then someone pointed me out that i could be because the frequent depressions that i suffer (which i didn't have any when i was in Japan, yay!). I still wonder the reason but in Monday i went out with a friend that is kinda a workholic and when i told her how little i slept she told she was jealous because that way she could work more…Days later, i think i'm mad at that comment. Don't know.
Ah, that's right! And when i told my mother that i'm afraid i might be bipolar or suffer from depression (or something like that given my background with attention disorder and Hiperactivity) she told me "No mames" which is kinda "Cut the crap out" i guess?
Uh, yay?
Depression can make you more tired but.. you definitely would need to see a therapist to make this determination. Some people have weird sleeping habits and if you are used to getting in a nap at home during the day then your body is going to be used to it. That in itself is really not that abnormal, just most people don't have this luxury. I know a few people who always take naps on their lunch break without fail.
How can I say this…..
[hide]My mom said I need to see a psychologist…I doubt he/she can help me. Things like: I´m a total failure in life, I´m invisible to everyone, I live in a sea of lies and the thought that I hate myself is always in my mind. I don´t have ANY motivation to live, but I don´t want to die now. I don´t have friends (most of them are dead) and the only people I talk to is my sick mother, so is hard to be happy.
Everything I try to do, ends up in total failure OR, it becomes impossible to do, so I give up. I see people my age or younger being happy and I can´t be happy..I ask to myself "Why this is so hard for me ? I am a idiot ? I have mental problems ? Why I can´t do nothing ?"
I see me, all alone with no help, I try to cry, I try to battle, but nothing works..I just try to forget about that, I live me life and go to sleep, waiting for tomorrow. [/hide]
Sorry..
Sometime life is a bag of dicks from day one. You may not really know what happiness feels like. I'm about out of time but one thing I can offer is maybe stop looking collectively at how everything ends in failure. Try to analyze how things went wrong and determine if it was in your control or not. If it wasn't, fuck it. If it was, you have (possibly) learned how you can try to do better to avoid it again. I've kinda felt a lot of things just don't come natural to me, and I've basically have had to learn how to be more like a "normal" person. And each time I stop and try to figure out what I did wrong and not do it again… but each and everytime I find something else to fail at. I don't seem to ever succeed (very rarely, every problem always seems to be more complex than the last) but I don't get discouraged. I know that if I get to that point again I won't do it again, and the more and more I fail the more and more I stop to think about what I'm doing before I do it (which I have a really hard time doing). It's a process. I know that in this world the only person who will help me is myself. I can't expect to be sustained on the love and care of others. I have to love and care for myself and be confident about it. It's not as self-centered as it sounds. You just have to come to terms with the fact that you don't have anyone to fall on. You have to stand on your feet or you will fail. No one else gives a shit, it's up to you to give a shit about yourself. If that makes any sense.
@taBills:
Grandma woke up this morning. She can't do anything but blink and wiggle her toes on command
funny how emotional and incredible a simple blink can be
She's still really weak and can easily take a turn for the worse but we're gonna watch her close the next few days (I'll probably fly back to GA this weekend if things keep improving). Gonna head in again later and pull another all nighter in the icu since we have a new night nurse tonight
The lady two rooms over woke up too and looked at me when I walked by. I'm really glad.
GREAT news @__@!!! I hope she keeps going strong and keeps improving. Glad to hear she is doing better.
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I'm nowhere near as logical/rational/reasonable as I want myself to be.
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As someone who suffers from anxiety and depression I promise you aren't the only one who feels that way. Seeing a doctor about it is a good thing. And if you ever need to talk about things. Feel free to message me.
I will see if I can find a therapist (and now, I will pay for the sections) and thanks for this message.
@Arei:Sometime life is a bag of dicks from day one. You may not really know what happiness feels like. I'm about out of time but one thing I can offer is maybe stop looking collectively at how everything ends in failure. Try to analyze how things went wrong and determine if it was in your control or not. If it wasn't, fuck it. If it was, you have (possibly) learned how you can try to do better to avoid it again. I've kinda felt a lot of things just don't come natural to me, and I've basically have had to learn how to be more like a "normal" person. And each time I stop and try to figure out what I did wrong and not do it again… but each and everytime I find something else to fail at. I don't seem to ever succeed (very rarely, every problem always seems to be more complex than the last) but I don't get discouraged. I know that if I get to that point again I won't do it again, and the more and more I fail the more and more I stop to think about what I'm doing before I do it (which I have a really hard time doing). It's a process. I know that in this world the only person who will help me is myself. I can't expect to be sustained on the love and care of others. I have to love and care for myself and be confident about it. It's not as self-centered as it sounds. You just have to come to terms with the fact that you don't have anyone to fall on. You have to stand on your feet or you will fail. No one else gives a shit, it's up to you to give a shit about yourself. If that makes any sense.
I really can´t do nothing right now, I can only seek help. Every time I win at something, I think "Nah, just another boring thing that I managed to overcome", but when I failed at something..All the world falls on top of me.
Congratulations Taboo !!! I hope everything will get better.
When AP used to be good:
NEVER FORGET !!
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I'm nowhere near as logical/rational/reasonable as I want myself to be.
Welcome to the world of being human and feelings.
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I'm nowhere near as logical/rational/reasonable as I want myself to be.
That's all part of the human experience :/ No one is perfect, and everyone will at some point act in a moment of haste or rashness. Just keep trying to be the best you can be, that's all you can do.
I will see if I can find a therapist (and now, I will pay for the sections) and thanks for this message.
I really can´t do nothing right now, I can only seek help. Every time I win at something, I think "Nah, just another boring thing that I managed to overcome", but when I failed at something..All the world falls on top of me.Congratulations Taboo !!! I hope everything will get better.
You can always do something. It doesn't have to be anything big or drastic. All the changes that you make regarding personal growth always come from within. Only you can control how you think and feel and react to things. No one else causes you to feel those feelings of defeat and anguish, you let yourself feel that way. That is how it works.
There is no instant fix or cure, and you can't change your thinking or bad habits overnight, or even in a year. It takes a long time, it's a lifetime journey. Definitely see a therapist, but always keep in mind the root of all of your stress and bad feelings is yourself. Changing how you think (logical thinking) about things will change how you respond and how you feel and you'll naturally have lower stress levels as time goes on. When you start breaking apart your thought processes piece by piece, you'll see how many unrealistic conditions and blocks you set up in your mind and how you've set yourself up for failure no matter what you do. Take a look at the patterns between every situation you seemingly fail at and how you respond. They will all be the same. Stop thinking that life sucks and it's unfair, and think that life can be shit but you can feel about it however you want to. Overtime as you choose to look on the realistic/logical side of things, you will naturally lose the negative and feelings of failure and stress.
To me at least, failure and shortcombings are less of an issue because I no longer give nearly as many fucks as I once did. Shit is always going to hit the fan at the worst time and life is always going to be one giant inconvenience after another, but living my life to the fullest and reaching my goals are more important then sullying around in failure after failure. Trust me, I rarely succeed, my life has always been a giant smelly pile of shit but it's not going to end that way.
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Very glad to hear that, taboo :) I wish u the strength u need for the allnighters. But pls take care of yourself as well.
Captain ugly, keep your chin up.
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@taBills:
Grandma woke up this morning. She can't do anything but blink and wiggle her toes on command
funny how emotional and incredible a simple blink can be
She's still really weak and can easily take a turn for the worse but we're gonna watch her close the next few days (I'll probably fly back to GA this weekend if things keep improving). Gonna head in again later and pull another all nighter in the icu since we have a new night nurse tonight
The lady two rooms over woke up too and looked at me when I walked by. I'm really glad.
That's great news, tabby!
Best of luck with the rest of her recovery!
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Going to rant a bit about someone I live with - I don't like doing this but I wanna get it off my chest and telling her this in the past has only lead to big drama.
My flatmate C has all but given up on life. She doesn't really do anything except eat, sleep, and play EVE Online. She wakes up around 4-5pm and then plays through until really late at night…it's not at all uncommon to see her still playing when I leave the house at 7am. She used to play games and never go out before, but she at least balanced it with social media, and she doesn't do much of that anymore. And on Sunday she had a minor breakdown over getting food in, to the point where she eventually threw money at me (literally) and told me to get us pizzas delivered...which she then didn't eat when they arrived because she went for a smoke and fallen asleep. It especially gets to me because she's on voice chat most of the time, so she'll be there talking away and getting all stressed and barely paying attention to any of us in the flat. And because of my condition, I can't actually tune it out - same way that if there's a TV on around me, I literally cannot not watch it, and it scatters my thoughts.
I got back from work this evening feeling too tired and headachey to go out to a friends' event and figured I'd try relaxing a bit with one of my comfort food meals (pasta, peas, hot sauce, spices) but I'm just feeling irritated by the noise from the voice-chat and my flatmate getting more worked up about something in that game than she does over her actual breakup with her partner, who is still covering for her financially and otherwise. I don't want to snap at her because she'll snap and start calling me an abuser again like she did when I kept her off the PC for 5 minutes once when she wanted to play (because I was arranging my partner's funeral...).
I'm almost feeling like I'm more relaxed at my office desk than at home at times like this. Perhaps it's just as well that I'm going to have to move in half a year.
And thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I'd ask for advice about what to do, but so many of us have tried so much with her, and yet she seems fairly determined to drive herself into this precipice.
moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon
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She's terrible. Make it clear to her or move out. Or both. She's a selfish bitch, pulling everyone else down. Don't let her have that power over u
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I know this is out of the blue and random but I'm here for you as well, Cap'n.
HECK. I'm here for everyone.
EVERYONE.
So just hit up Mama Zach if you feelin' down or just wanna chaaat… -
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Going to rant a bit about someone I live with - I don't like doing this but I wanna get it off my chest and telling her this in the past has only lead to big drama.
My flatmate C has all but given up on life. She doesn't really do anything except eat, sleep, and play EVE Online. She wakes up around 4-5pm and then plays through until really late at night…it's not at all uncommon to see her still playing when I leave the house at 7am. She used to play games and never go out before, but she at least balanced it with social media, and she doesn't do much of that anymore. And on Sunday she had a minor breakdown over getting food in, to the point where she eventually threw money at me (literally) and told me to get us pizzas delivered...which she then didn't eat when they arrived because she went for a smoke and fallen asleep. It especially gets to me because she's on voice chat most of the time, so she'll be there talking away and getting all stressed and barely paying attention to any of us in the flat. And because of my condition, I can't actually tune it out - same way that if there's a TV on around me, I literally cannot not watch it, and it scatters my thoughts.
I got back from work this evening feeling too tired and headachey to go out to a friends' event and figured I'd try relaxing a bit with one of my comfort food meals (pasta, peas, hot sauce, spices) but I'm just feeling irritated by the noise from the voice-chat and my flatmate getting more worked up about something in that game than she does over her actual breakup with her partner, who is still covering for her financially and otherwise. I don't want to snap at her because she'll snap and start calling me an abuser again like she did when I kept her off the PC for 5 minutes once when she wanted to play (because I was arranging my partner's funeral...).
I'm almost feeling like I'm more relaxed at my office desk than at home at times like this. Perhaps it's just as well that I'm going to have to move in half a year.
And thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I'd ask for advice about what to do, but so many of us have tried so much with her, and yet she seems fairly determined to drive herself into this precipice.
I agree with Nami :/ That's REALLY REALLY REALLY someone you don't need to be around normally, but your significant other passed away?? :X You can't relax and recover emotionally the way you need to after that kind of loss with someone like that around. I really hope when you are able to move, you're able to ditch her too. My mom was pretty much like that after she lost her job, she was unemployed 2 years before she started the string of temporary jobs. She lost her job a couple of months before my grandmother passed away, and the stress of work + her made things entirely unbearable. I've only come back to live with her now because she finally has a permanent job and isn't home enough to bury herself in a pile of trash like those people on Horders who just throw all their trash around the house.
Now that the smelly dog-pee soaked floors are gone, as well as the walls and everything going to be getting a fresh paint of coat and some of the cabinets replaced, the house will FINALLY lose that terrible stank we can't get rid of no matter what. It's a fresh start, and I hope she will work to keep it that way. Thank goodness for insurance because lots of things are getting fixed that she never could afford to do on her own. I'm really excited.
Sorry to go off on a tangent :X But, anyway, being around someone like that who just breathes and exists and doesn't do much of anything else is extremely draining as it is, but that quadruples or worse when you are also dealing with a great personal loss. Going to stay with my grandpa a year and a half before coming back here really helped me to grow as a person and make some of the crucial steps to moving on a lot easier. You'll feel a great weight slide off when you get rid of her. If she has been a close friend, your heart is probably doubly weighed down at the moment :/ But a true friend wouldn't flip out at you if you kept them off the computer for a few minutes TO PLAN YOUR PARTNER'S FUNERAL. She is far gone and needs some serious professional help. Do not take it upon yourself to try and "fix" her, you won't. Please don't feel like you have to. It may take one of the last few people who gives a shit about her leaving her high and dry before she realizes how messed up she is. Or she may never realize it :/ It's up to her to get out of that funk. It took almost everyone I hung out with quitting talking to me to realize how bad and pathetic I had sunk to.
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1. Try talking with her and explaining how she isn't helping herself or anyone else. Angry people don't listen well. So be soft first, and be patient.
2. If that doesn't work out, or if you find it too troublesome and futile to try, buy ear plugs. Those that work. As a temporary measure before you can move out. -
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@Print:
Going to rant a bit about someone I live with - I don't like doing this but I wanna get it off my chest and telling her this in the past has only lead to big drama.
My flatmate C has all but given up on life. She doesn't really do anything except eat, sleep, and play EVE Online. She wakes up around 4-5pm and then plays through until really late at night…it's not at all uncommon to see her still playing when I leave the house at 7am. She used to play games and never go out before, but she at least balanced it with social media, and she doesn't do much of that anymore. And on Sunday she had a minor breakdown over getting food in, to the point where she eventually threw money at me (literally) and told me to get us pizzas delivered...which she then didn't eat when they arrived because she went for a smoke and fallen asleep. It especially gets to me because she's on voice chat most of the time, so she'll be there talking away and getting all stressed and barely paying attention to any of us in the flat. And because of my condition, I can't actually tune it out - same way that if there's a TV on around me, I literally cannot not watch it, and it scatters my thoughts.
I got back from work this evening feeling too tired and headachey to go out to a friends' event and figured I'd try relaxing a bit with one of my comfort food meals (pasta, peas, hot sauce, spices) but I'm just feeling irritated by the noise from the voice-chat and my flatmate getting more worked up about something in that game than she does over her actual breakup with her partner, who is still covering for her financially and otherwise. I don't want to snap at her because she'll snap and start calling me an abuser again like she did when I kept her off the PC for 5 minutes once when she wanted to play (because I was arranging my partner's funeral...).
I'm almost feeling like I'm more relaxed at my office desk than at home at times like this. Perhaps it's just as well that I'm going to have to move in half a year.
And thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I'd ask for advice about what to do, but so many of us have tried so much with her, and yet she seems fairly determined to drive herself into this precipice.
You have my deepest condolences in regards to your partner. :(
People like the aforementioned roommate are beyond help, and imo it's within you and your fellow flatmates best interests to see her evicted if at all possible. You guys are enabling her, she knows she can wear you down to the point where you no longer want to hear anymore of her shit and just give in. You can't let her hold that kind of power over you otherwise your circumstances are not going to improve.
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Please tell me I'm not the only one that read the silly post in Cartman's voice.
Screw you One Piece, I am going home.
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deviantart: http://pomeranianhero.deviantart.com/
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Valiantt's back? :O
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