Do you show enough love?

Smudger

Do you show the people around you that are important enough love? If no do you plan to change it and how?

I kind of feel I give as much as I get, but don't have the chance to go further. That said I do always try to be positive and help mates and family with advice or actions that show them I care. But once in a while people just slip off my radar and it feels too awkward to make the first step in making contact again.

I wonder if I could really make an effort for a while and see how different life and it's opportunities are.

FelRes

Yeah. Whether it be family, a significant other, a close friend, or anyone else that matters to me, I'll show it to them somehow that I genuinely care about them and support them. I'd go out of my way and make many sacrifices to make someone I care about happy. I never forget about anyone, and will talk to the people I'm not as close to if they have anything they want to talk about. I'm a caring person.

Of course, it's almost entirely unreturned. So yeah.

Nami

I kinda save the love I have to give for the people who I think really deserve it.
People often tell me that I need to smile more because I always look grumpy. And I know lots of people who actually never would have spoken to me if they'd only know me from first impression. People always assume the most wrongest things about me by first impression.
Eh, back to topic. I do show a lot of love if I actually do care for someone. I even tend to drown people with my love when I really, really, really care, right hun? I tend to become a big puddle of lovey dovey if I trust someone enough to let all my guard down. So far, only my dad and my bfs and my ex-best friend have seen that side of me and I plan on keeping it that way.
I do nice things for not so close mates, but I tend to do it unnoticed. Like when a classmate I like is sick, I collect their papers and write everything down for them as well and give it to them when they're back.
Also I hug a lot when I'm drunk. But that's also only for mates.

GJardim

I consider love as something simple as doing a mistake and asking for whoever to forgive you for that mistake, admiting that you are wrong even if you aren't. I consider love too if the person forgives whoever made that mistake. In general, I see love as begin selfishless with someone else, doesn't really matter with who.
So yes, I guess I do, but not enough.

DarkFalcon

No, I don't. I should be doing more. I'm usually kind, polite and patient, but I don't really know how to reach to others to help them, when they are not coming to me with their problems themselves. I'm often too absorbed with my thoughts to see whats around me, and I often realize too late that there was something I could have done. When I'm not traveling mentally through other worlds I tend to be quite considerate and caring though, but even so I have hard time expressing how much I care, especially to people, who aren't my closest family.

Jazzy Jinx

I show my affection with mean-spirited comments and secret shrines filled with any hair I happen to collect from them.

Herodadotus

@Uncle:

I show my affection with mean-spirited comments and secret shrines filled with any hair I happen to collect from them.

Kenny is an example for the entire planet, and is my personal hero.

KaizokuJinbei

@Nami:

I kinda save the love I have to give for the people who I think really deserve it.
People often tell me that I need to smile more because I always look grumpy. And I know lots of people who actually never would have spoken to me if they'd only know me from first impression. People always assume the most wrongest things about me by first impression.
Eh, back to topic. I do show a lot of love if I actually do care for someone. I even tend to drown people with my love when I really, really, really care, right hun? I tend to become a big puddle of lovey dovey if I trust someone enough to let all my guard down. So far, only my dad and my bfs and my ex-best friend have seen that side of me and I plan on keeping it that way.
I do nice things for not so close mates, but I tend to do it unnoticed. Like when a classmate I like is sick, I collect their papers and write everything down for them as well and give it to them when they're back.
Also I hug a lot when I'm drunk. But that's also only for mates.

Couldn't have said it better myself

Alpha Presence

This post is deleted!

Jazzy Jinx

@Herodadotus:

Kenny is an example for the entire planet, and is my personal hero.

Kenny acknowledges your affections and loves you too.~

Alpha Presence

I give my love, respect and kindness to everyone regardless of whether they deserve it or not. I live my life how I want to and to me this seems best. I see it as this, if you don't discriminate on who you love, respect or be kind to, you could possibly change their views and they will spread it around as well. I also think that for every good person there is 5 crooked people, just me saying. In addition, I think that what you put out in the world is what you get back, plain and simple. If everyone were to "select" who to be nice and what not, this world would be…well...how it is now!

Do three good deeds a day, one for yourself, one for another and one for God, or if you don't believe in God, another one for a random person! I don't expect kindness in return if I did what would be the point of doing something good for someone. Always no matter what, I do good deeds from my heart for the moment, not how the person will repay me in the future or will I get good karma or other things related to that manner. Make sure when you sleep you go to bed with no regrets and a honest days of "living" whatever that may be to you.

I always let people very close to me know I love them, ever since my dad passed away in my hands a year and a half ago. Life is to short to be mad all the time, or pissed off or whatever. Wake up, take on the world with a smile on your face because you never know. Hell, your life will flash before your eyes one day. . . Make sure it's worth watching. Cheers.

Hiroy

I don't really think about it. It's either I like you or I don't. There's no such thing as enough, too little or too much of it. That's the demands of an increbibally needy person.

Pochipochi

My father always had exhausting work overseas where he saw less of his family than he would have liked, but in his mind he must have prioritized that it was providing very well for his family and it was worth it in some way. When my mother got cancer when I was 8 and died a couple of years later, he was met with the realization that he could have spent more of his time with the people he loved when he had the chance.

so every day I throw shoes at his head and go HAHA YOU FUCKING QUEER NICE PRIORITIES and then i steal his credit card and buy porn

fucking retard lol!!!!!!!

Strange_One

hey holy

dead parent high five

Pochipochi

@Strange_One:

hey holy

dead parent high five

wow

never seen such a F A G G O T before in my life

Strange_One

w o w

first my dad dies then i have to put up with this

Silence

You bet your sweet buns I do.

TheCrystalShip

This thread has already gone to shit, but…

There are only a select few people who I can show love to, so I show a lot of love to them. That's how I see it.

Demonicpoodle

@TheCrystalShip:

This thread has already gone to shit, but…

There are only a select few people who I can show love to, so I show a lot of love to them. That's how I see it.

I have a sneaking feeling that you're reading some of the posts on this forum wrong. Don't be so quick to wave the hand of dismissal.

Strange_One

This post is deleted!

TheCrystalShip

How the hell was I supposed to garner that you and him were FRIENDS after reading those posts? O_o
If anything, it looked like some sort of bizarre argument.

EDIT: Whoa wait, what happened…
Now I have a headache.

Strange_One

ugh fuck sorry i thought i double posted so i deleted the post

here's the post

–

Gone to shit?

Holy and I both legitimately lost a parent at a young age. That's typically something that fucks a person up- your relationship with the surviving parent (and other immediate family members) can become weird and strained and your ability to trust and bond with people becomes really complicated when you know that they could die and there's nothing you can do about it. Regardless of whether you had an ideal or even just serviceable family life before, your entire place in a safe and caring world is immediately and irrevocably compromised. You don't see things the same way other people do and you never really will. Relationships with others, including loving them and how you express that love, is all a part of it.

I know I don't post here much anymore, but Holy and I are close friends and we've talked before about similarities in our experiences and outlooks. I know personally that I loved my dad very much and that now (and for quite some time) he's just been a rotting corpse in the ground. I have to deal with that every day and with the fact that that could happen to anyone else I love and that complicates loving people for me. Really, I've known since I was in middle school that it's either me or someone I cherish who is the next to be reduced to an unthinking pile of meat.

I thought Holy's post was hysterical and "dead parent high five" was my way of expressing solidarity. When bad stuff happens to you as a kid you can develop weird resentments and (especially as you grow older) face really difficult truths about what could have been, like what your parents (who are responsible for you and themselves at that age) could have or should have done.

I could have made a post saying "i love people a lot and try to let them know by my actions" or "i do love but i'm bad at expressing it sometimes" or something but I preferred a joke instead because I thought that was boring

my dead parent my dead rules i make all the shitty morbid jokes i want

edit:

True story when my dad died and was buried it was in a double plot so mom could be buried next to him when she died. One day when I was like 15 (i'm 21 now) we were at the graveyard where he's buried. I fucking hate going there most of the time- I usually wander away to look at old graves and stuff because I don't like looking at it or dealing with it. But we were both there that day and I walked over to mom's plot and literally started dancing on her grave. We both started laughing. That is how I express love

--

and haha idk i guess if you haven't had that kind of joking insult relationship it's hard to see from the outside

Pochipochi

@TheCrystalShip:

How the hell was I supposed to garner that you and him were FRIENDS after reading those posts? O_o
If anything, it looked like some sort of bizarre argument.

Don't worry about it

Love and peace

TheCrystalShip

Okay well, I said that the thread had gone to shit because I thought there was already a disagreement between you and Holy, and insults were flying around. I didn't doubt that people had actually died, although it was difficult to discern if Holy's post was serious…

Strange_One

i love holy

even though she's a fucking lOSER fucking wow think you're so great music person call me a faggot come and say that to my FACe

really though we had an interesting discussion on the stupid socially constructed sanctity around death and dead people and grief and we wondered if people were gonna take our posts the wrong way haha

Pochipochi

Also a word from our sponsors. Watch out kids! Never use the F-Word without serious pre-cautionary measures, because you see my fellow "Love Thread" Partygoers, it is a hurtful insult that many a member of the LGBT family has heard directed at themselves as a method of severe dehumanization and hurtfulness. If you want to facetiously insult a good friend of yours, try informing them that they have poor time management skills instead of resorting to something so tasteless!

I'm a trained professional of queerness and get to use it facetiously twice a year before it becomes depressing! Don't try this at home.

And remember! Stay Loving

This has been Ash and Shannon, signing out and wishing you a happy thanksgiving

Smudger

The hardest thing about showing love is that you don't really know how much you've given till you lose the chance to give it. The most obvious scenario is the death of someone close. I don't know many people that have discussed if they thought they made enough effort to the deceased, but I for one feel like I didn't show enough with both my grandparents.

Im pretty sure that if anyone in my family died right now, that I would be completely ruined by guilt from not doing more than I have. I know a lot of it is due to the distance, but sometimes I do get a chance but brush it off to do something else. Hopefully the Congo will remain calm for the next year till I fly out to see them.

As for close friends it's the same kind of story almost. The reason being the people I've met over here have become like a second family. When my mate left for Europe week I felt really empty after. I know it was one of those relationships where we knew eachother well enough not to show it so much visually, but deep down we had the respect and whatnot to be on the same level as you would a brother.

Maybe that's it, maybe my friends subconsciously gain family status and get given the same treatment….I just don't know.

zachri

Smudger

I didn't know you had a beard zachri. >.>

GypsyCarts

I love this thread already.

zachri

@Smudger:

I didn't know you had a beard zachri. >.>

Oh yes.
Such a manly beard.
You may stroke it if you wish.

Nami

@Smudger:

The hardest thing about showing love is that you don't really know how much you've given till you lose the chance to give it. The most obvious scenario is the death of someone close. I don't know many people that have discussed if they thought they made enough effort to the deceased, but I for one feel like I didn't show enough with both my grandparents.

Im pretty sure that if anyone in my family died right now, that I would be completely ruined by guilt from not doing more than I have. I know a lot of it is due to the distance, but sometimes I do get a chance but brush it off to do something else. Hopefully the Congo will remain calm for the next year till I fly out to see them.

So, you know, that maybe you don't show or give enough love to them, but you're also not working on it? I mean, you can still save yourself the guilt you'll feel, but that means being unegoistic and do it and work for it. But I tell you what. Both your nan and grandpa told me that you are their favorite and that must come from somewhere, don't you think? You've earned it. You've earned their trust and love and I'm sure they know that you're a busy young man and they'd never make you feel bad about it. They are very, very proud of you, trust me. They get these sparkling eyes when they talk about you. They don't get these when they talk about your brothers.

Unfortunatley life's like this. You can't always be around the one you love the most, but if you made a deep enough connection, both parties will always know and appreciate the love of the other. You don't always need to show what's obvious.

pyromonki

For me, showing love is a complicated thing, because I'm a man's man with a lot of pride. So I'll never tell my dad I miss him or something like that.. but I'll drive 3 hours to help him do yard work because I don't want him to hurt himself.

Funny enough, I honestly think I got that coldness from my mom, since my dad talks about feelings all the time (he can talk for hours about why I "don't love him because I don't come home or call enough"). Me and my mom just show affection through actions with little words.

I love everyone though in a special way, if you need help, I'm your hero, but don't ask me how I "feel" about you… And of course... everyone does. Sheesh.

Chrissie

Yep. I give and get plenty of love with the people I have around me (and far away from me). Friends, new and old, family, my students (and even the students of the other two classes in the kindergarten) and of course from the most amazing guy in the world You can't imagine the support I got alone from him at the hardest points of the year for me. Mental breakdowns pulverized just from a few words from him! He has superpowers this guy! Of course I wish I showed my love for some people more often. I forget that while I don't need a reminder of their love for me, they need a reminder of my love for them. Not all of them, but some.
For example there's my best (apart from my guy) friend of them all, Tatiana, who doesn't need that. Our relationship is exactly what each and every corny, friendship quote says and more. We might talk like… once per month and less with our crazy schedules and lives, but it's as if not even a day passed by from the last day we met or talked. I forgot her birthday, but she didn't mind because she knows that's how I am. I forget shit right and left. And if you know Tatiana, you know one thing well: Forget her and you are dead to her. She only teased me about it though because she knows how important she is to me and how important I am to her. We got into the wildest and weirdest troubles ever with her and we never learned our lesson. We got into loud, screaming fights that we laughed at 5 minutes later as if they were nothing. We took hits for each other, we starved together in Greece, we got lost together in Greece. A few days ago she had a car crash. I didn't know about it but I saw that night a dream where she let me drive her car and I crashed it. So I sent her a text in the morning to see how she is doing and she told me about it. We are basically at that point where we know when the other is in trouble without even talking about it. It's pretty awesome and I wish I could develop that kind of love and friendship relationships with more people, but I guess it's not possible with everyone. That is what makes it extra special though, right?

Also just a note about how show my love to my peeps: I love spoiling them, listening to them and touching them. :U I am a very touchy-feely person, be it with massages, hugs, tickles or even with poking and teasing. :3 My students actually receive all that (massages are back rubs when they are upset my poor babiiiiies) every single day, unlike other people who get it randomly xD

Monkey King

@Chrissie:

Yep. I give and get plenty of love with the people I have around me (and far away from me). Friends, new and old, family, my students (and even the students of the other two classes in the kindergarten) and of course from the most amazing guy in the world You can't imagine the support I got alone from him at the hardest points of the year for me. Mental breakdowns pulverized just from a few words from him! He has superpowers this guy! Of course I wish I showed my love for some people more often. I forget that while I don't need a reminder of their love for me, they need a reminder of my love for them. Not all of them, but some.
For example there's my best (apart from my guy) friend of them all, Tatiana, who doesn't need that. Our relationship is exactly what each and every corny, friendship quote says and more. We might talk like… once per month and less with our crazy schedules and lives, but it's as if not even a day passed by from the last day we met or talked. I forgot her birthday, but she didn't mind because she knows that's how I am. I forget shit right and left. And if you know Tatiana, you know one thing well: Forget her and you are dead to her. She only teased me about it though because she knows how important she is to me and how important I am to her. We got into the wildest and weirdest troubles ever with her and we never learned our lesson. We got into loud, screaming fights that we laughed at 5 minutes later as if they were nothing. We took hits for each other, we starved together in Greece, we got lost together in Greece. A few days ago she had a car crash. I didn't know about it but I saw that night a dream where she let me drive her car and I crashed it. So I sent her a text in the morning to see how she is doing and she told me about it. We are basically at that point where we know when the other is in trouble without even talking about it. It's pretty awesome and I wish I could develop that kind of love and friendship relationships with more people, but I guess it's not possible with everyone. That is what makes it extra special though, right?

Also just a note about how show my love to my peeps: I love spoiling them, listening to them and touching them. :U I am a very touchy-feely person, be it with massages, hugs, tickles or even with poking and teasing. :3 My students actually receive all that (massages are back rubs when they are upset my poor babiiiiies) every single day, unlike other people who get it randomly xD

Not everyone is worth what you got.

Chrissie

@Monkey:

Not everyone is worth what you got.

pyromonki

Chrissie's post almost gave me diabetes. Good qualities to have. Someone has to show affection.. because I'm not gonna.:ninja:

Monkey King

@pyromonki:

Chrissie's post almost gave me diabetes. Good qualities to have. Someone has to show affection.. because I'm not gonna.:ninja:

So a man's man, but not a woman's man.
Have fun with that.

pyromonki

@Monkey:

So a man's man, but not a woman's man.
Have fun with that.

Oh trust me… I am. sniff :sad:

Bobjr

I don't, but would anyone expect otherwise?

pyromonki

@Bobjr:

I don't, but would anyone expect otherwise?

… I'm going to be difficult and say, "yes".

Out of curiousity.. do any of you guys give to homeless people?

I do it sometimes.. but most of the time I don't have any cash (or food) on me. A bit evil, but the sole reason I don't carry cash is so when I tell them "I don't have any money", I'm not lying.

The most money I gave was 2 dollars, only because this homeless guy told me that he just wanted to get some beer. I respected his honesty.

Smudger

@GypsyCarts:

I love this thread already.

!
@zachri:

Oh yes.
Such a manly beard.
You may stroke it if you wish.

! haha we need a gif of me stroking your beard. i think the internet would melt…
@pyromonki:

Chrissie's post almost gave me diabetes. Good qualities to have. Someone has to show affection.. because I'm not gonna.:ninja:

Beig an emotional scrooge is such a sad sad thing. i would hate not being able to express myself, because althouth i think a few people might undertsand how i really feel, others might not and get hurt, and maybe even not bother with me.

@Bobjr:

I don't, but would anyone expect otherwise?

haha bob you are total teddy bear.

Bobjr

@Smudger:

haha bob you are total teddy bear.

Everyone says that but I never see any proof.

Smudger

This post is deleted!

C_uggs

[hide]Well, the only thing that keeps my mother from killing herself every day is my love for her..[/hide]So yeah, I show enough love.

pyromonki

@Smudger:

Beig an emotional scrooge is such a sad sad thing. i would hate not being able to express myself, because althouth i think a few people might undertsand how i really feel, others might not and get hurt, and maybe even not bother with me.

Aside from my dad, I've yet to hear from anyone that I don't care about them (and I'm pretty sure he doesn't mean what he says half the time, since he flip flops pretty often when I come to visit). When they need me, or ask me to do something, I'm there in a flash. I'm just not all "I love you too dude. You're my best friend!" It's not in my nature to say it…

I can be affectionate during a date, but even still, it's probably a lot less than what most people would do. I never leave any doubt that I don't care about a person, I just won't ever say it, but show it.

For example, I drove to my parents' house (3 hours away... 6 hours round trip) to hep my Dad with his algebra homework. I then came back and took my friend to the ER because he ripped his bicep and pectorals bench pressing.

I'm just not an affectionate person, but I've yet to see my friends or family doubt me for a second.

zachri

@Smudger:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v678/richjob/fire.gif
haha we need a gif of me stroking your beard. i think the internet would melt…

Indeeeeeeeeeed.
COMETH.
Stroke it if you wish.
It definitely won't try to consume your soul or anything.
That'd be…
ridiculousa.

LaCaSiNa

I should definitely show more love towards my mom, especially since I also belong to the "dead parent club". I live only ten minutes away from her, but I rarely go to visit her and even when I do I usually just pick something up and then leave immediately. Sometimes she calls me and jokingly says how she never hears from me anymore, but during our calls I tell her everything that's going on in my life and she's happy. Deep down I think she knows I love her though, or at least I hope so. My little brother has mostly a negative attitude towards her these days, so I try my best to be patient and caring.

When it comes to my closest friends I might show even too much love. Two of my best friends live in another city and if I'm separated from them for even one week I start to see them in my dreams and miss them in general. Occasionally we don't see each other in a month and that's horrible! We like to joke about my constant need for closeness - I'm like a loyal puppy who wags her imaginary tail every time she sees her friends. I'm also a very touchy-feely person and often share my feelings of how much I appreciate my friends.

So yeah, on one hand I don't show enough love and on the other hand I do. Someday I wish I will truly know what it is to love someone and be loved in return.

TheCrystalShip

This thread actually makes me really angry and depressed. Not to be difficult.

zachri

@TheCrystalShip:

This thread actually makes me really angry and depressed. Not to be difficult.

Could I possibly offer you mass clinghuggles?
o 3 o;;