Here is my official sex post, might be TMI for school and work so be careful if bosses/parents/teachers are afoot:
To me for dating and just looking for a compatible human being, "experience" doesn't always necessarily mean jack shit. MANY people find their lifelong soul mates in the very first person they date and love. Many people have happy and wonderful marriages and were celibate before tying the knot. In everything that I see, read, and hear having amazing sex prowess is usually not one of the first things I hear about successful and loving relationships, if I even hear about it at all. There are probably some people who just have normal, non-exciting or crazy sex but are so madly in love, their closeness and intimacy is powerful and enough for them.
Sex is extremely damn important in a long lasting, healthy, and true romantic relationship. I think mainstream media and just some attitudes in general seem to suggest that relationships are going to fail and spouses will cheat/leave and you CANNOT have a strong relationship if you are not just mind-blowingly good at sex right off the bat.
I assume that learning how each other likes to be pleasured is one of the most exciting and intimate experiences (that should be going on throughout the entire life of the relationship) of getting to know one another on a complete physical and intimate plane. If you are having sex with someone you love and truly loves you back, are they really going to give you shit if you're kind of lost at first and don't know what you want? It will probably be awkward and silly, but if it's with someone who really loves you I'm sure they'll be laughing with you, not at you, and will help you out. Or if you both have no experience, you'll try things out and learn together.
FYI, don't feel dirty or bad, but there are plenty of books you can find in most bookstores that are guides to sex. Not porn, not fetish stuff (Unless you like that), just sex. There's a couple of books/calendars that give you a different position each day. Try them out. If you are having sex again with someone you truly care about and vice versa, after the initial giggles and silly you both probably want to eagerly please one another so just go at it, you'll get it.
A lot of people watch porn and get an unrealistic expectation for sex. They also expect they will only be aroused if they are banging people who look like the porn stars too.
–Side note here: I don't think you should be ashamed if you want to wait for sex. When you find someone you're comfortable and chill with, and they really respect you back, you will have a good time, grown personally, and feel good about yourself. Don't feel like you need to start having sex with guys to get experienced for "the one". Now for those who feel that they need to test the waters and have relations with many people, or are in it for casual sex... It's not my lifestyle choice, but you do what you feel is best for you. I don't think it is right to keep perpetuating the idea that if your sex life is not like a steamy porno, you're going to have a bad time. That's just my feeling, if people want to wait and have strong emotional relationships before sex, let them do it. They probably are not missing out on anything ((I am not arguing if you limit yourself and purposely/non-purposely psych yourself out from getting into a relationship at ALL, this is for IF you have or are trying to get into a relationship))
And TMI note on the porn thing, if you are comfortable with yourself and doing this, look up homemade amateur crap (that isnt fetish). It's usually just people in their bedroom doing various positions and BJs and the like. If you REALLY don't think you'll know how to have sex... But honestly, that stuff that isn't overly sexualized and hyped, just regular raw normal sex, it's really not anything mind-blowing It's awkward to watch, actually. You probably won't look like a porn star going at it either, it's not about what you look like, it's enjoying the experience with your partner. That is what sex is about. You do it with the person you love the most, for intimacy and connection and just plain old love. Don't try to feel like you're going to be inadequate at pleasure, everyone starts at the bottom, you have to practice and learn.
Again if you have a partner who constantly berates and belittles you for lack of sexual prowess, drop that shit like it's hot and be done with it. This is not someone who in the long run will support you, lift you up, and make you feel special and loved, like a GOOD partner should. On the other end, if you are lazy about sex and constantly half ass it and don't put in any effort into pleasing and making the experience enjoyable for your partner as well (ie wham-bam-thank you, ma'am and the like), don't be surprised if they dump your ass, either.
This concludes my opinion on sex post, back to the thread.
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