Chapter 277: Socks or … You Know What? I Don't Need a Snarky Alternate Title...
! Good evening, fellow Fairy Tards. I stopped this review thing a while back because I stopped caring. But then Mashima comes along with his most lolworthy material in weeks. I'll get to that in a moment, but let's establish the status quo here first: This chapter is actually Chapter 276. Mashima, however, apparently forgot that one-on-one battles are only half of this spectacularly contrived arc of his.
Assistant: Mashima-san, I think you forgot about the second event. You went straight into the battles.
Mashima: Oops. Here's Chapter 276.
Assistant: Mashima-san, this is just Natsu… on a car... you're missing the other 19 pages.
Mashima: Then there will be a kart race! I'll whip something up before I get back to my emotional masterpiece.
! So what we call Chapter 276 is clearly filler. Anime staff, we leave it to you to fix this.~ Anyway, back to this chapter, we start with Wendy… in bed. Later on this chapter, we find Natsu... in bed. Oh and Lucy finds that Flare has bruises... presumably bedsores. Okay, I'll stop.
! So Charles and Porlianis sit and talk about Charle's premonitions, which thus far, have a startling accuracy rate of 0%. However, this is still a thing and because it is simply not possibly for Charles to be absolutely off her rocker, we spend a good three chapters dealing with this exciting development from
last chapter two chapters ago.
What Paulene is trying to say is "You can't expect people to believe this shit, Mashima." Back outside, we have Absalom's special younger brother from that one guild facing off against some guy who looks like Orochimaru and Sasuke's love-child. To make matters worse, he makes even Midnight look remotely masculine. I forgot both fighter's names. I'm pretty sure they were plain and uninspired.
And now the high-stakes battle you've all been waiting for! That one guy vs. that other guy! After this, we then switch to Lucy who notices that Flare, the psychotic bitch dog lady, is covered in bruises. And… she's got the mental prowess of a child. Oh and her abusive boyfriend didn't like supper last night. Seriously, Mashima, what is with you and your totally lame female villains. Sherry's entire existence was to sleep with Leon, then dump him for a tsundere bishi (this isn't even cute!). Juvia, while badass as all fuck, is wrapped around her Gray-sama, Milliana wasn't even worth mentioning, Evergreen is part of Fairy Tail now, Edo-Erza got converted to the Church of Jellal's Witnesses and Ultear and Meredy are now good guys. Ikaruga and Angel didn't even have personalities. Seriously, Mashima, STOP REDEEMING ALL YOUR FEMALES. Money says Flare will be joining Fairy Tail soon. Stop making it so damn obvious. :getlost:
Poster girl for domestic violence awareness and predictable plot twists**.**
! Immediately after this unnecessary excursion into the epic decline of one of Mashima's most interesting female characters, we return to the adrenaline-filled battle between him and him too. Using powers reserved for arc villains on uninspired grunts, Mashima manages to bust out the cliches in his shallow attempts to make us hate Raven Tail even more. The fight between these two makes attempts to be funny, and also establishes that Sasuchimaru seems like not a bad guy. But then he beats Dogface and the lulz begin.
! Mashima busts out the wutdafuckery with Oh, Him's sob story… about a missing sock... around his neck. This actually reminds me of a similarly tragic story of mine where I misplaced my wallet. I spent months on an everlasting, heart-wrenching quest to find said wallet, only to discover that... it was in my back pocket. All along. Tears were had and it was an all-around bittersweet moment. Until my mom lit it on fire and watched it burn away into ashes.
! Yes, Mashima acknowledges that his sock story is pretty damn ridiculous (LOL, Erza). But then that one guy took I forgot's metaphorical wallet and lit it on fire, becoming the pure embodiment of evil itself. What makes this scene fantastic, however, is that this is basically Fairy Tail's way of being meta. This one chapter explains Fairy Tail in a nutshell. Ridiculous characters with ridiculous priorities fighting ridiculous villains who have ridiculous motives over ridiculous things. This sock can be anything: replacing light with dark, taking over other universes, or fighting in a tournament for shits and giggles. This is Mashima's way of saying "This is what Fairy Tail is. This is what you pay me for, every week."
The most heinous crime one can commit:
shredding a sock being Hiro Mashima.
It's okay, Mashima. We forgive you. It's one thing to be a hack. It's another to be a hack who fully embraces it. Back to the tournament, the next fight is between Bacchus and
probably very-clearly-not Erza. Mashima tries to be surprising, but fails at it in every possible way by making… Elfman the opponent. Bacchus basically admits that he wants to bone Elfman's previously dead-on-several-occasions sisters, which makes Elfman very very mad. This can only mean that Elfman is going to lose spectacularly to Erza's fated opponent.
Nobody saw this coming! Mashima then remembers there's a convoluted conspiracy going on and that Wendy hasn't been pimped enough this arc, so he leaves Natsu on a harrowing quest to find Wendy and her gender-confused cat. Is anybody else as excited as I am about what happens in Fairy Tail
278 279? I didn't think so.~
! The Foxy Verdict: 7/10