Tell me your war stories.
Come at me bro… (Your war stories)
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once I piledrived a bear into a landmine. All water and water vapour in a 5 mile radius turned into vodka and I grew a beard.
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^Why in the hell is that on a wikia for Rocket Power of all things?
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I stole Liam Neeson's faminklasdfnklguiaem,. xczjkafakufvjjkkdfajhjghutgguiyu
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One time I was at a Chinese Buffet I saw some green stuff and I said "FUck Yea! This place has avocados!"…. unfortunately... it wasn't avocados... it was that dreaded wasabi!!!! My head was read to implode. yo no creo que me iba a vivir~
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Excuse my ignorance, are "war stories" the new thing on the internet?
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So is this a thread for Bar Kum, because I don't think anyone else has war stories.
Or is this like "YOOO HOW MANY SHOTS DIDJA DOOO" or something dumb like that lol.
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I think Smudge means any story that contains physical confrontation.
Except for some dumb kid fights, I don't have any though. One time I think I was in danger of geting shot when I was in Kenya though. Some African rednecks (yeah they exist) stopped our car in the middle of the mountains by throwing spikes on the road and wanted money. We got out because they were scared getting in trouble for threatening Europeans (I purposely talked in a British accent to make them aware of the fact that I'm not 100% Kenyan). What they didn't know is that we probably wouldn't have called the police because the our driver didn't have a license and the reason we were in a hillbilly region to begin with was to avoid the cops. Also, I'm pretty sure the rifles they had were not working anymore. Didn't want to find out though.
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Back in 'Nam… .
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Yeah, not sure who this thread is directed to.
I was in the fake Israeli army for a three day 'experience'. They basically dressed us up, fed us crap and yelled at us as if they had authority throughout our time there. That's it, though.
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I was in a mosh pit once. Turns out it's an incredibly stupid thing where you're supposed to bash yourself bloody
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I was the major instigator of an extermination war against a local mob of Attagenus pellio. :getlost: Instigated myself too throw out stuff so they starved to death. Those were they days of glorious combat, when men became some sort of men or some such. puffs pipe
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I'm at war with myself.
And hard objects seem to be at war with my head, though there appears to have been some form of a truce since the last horrible time which landed me in hospital… -
Eh not too proud to admit I threw down with my uncle a few weeks back over some stupid shit wound up with three stitches near my eye because of it.
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Lol A whole group was 'against' me in the club tonight. They took our place that we booked without asking and all (even though we were there in front of them) and then they were being little bitches and kept pushing us, either with their asses or arms. So I started to push them back :P Let's just say I am not a gentle person when I am pissed off. Made one of the girls basically sit on a chair for 3 hours, two of the guys to get up and leave the club and the epileptic dancer (good Lord, she could NOT dance that one) who was being a bitch and trying to pick a fight, to get pulled away by her rather embarrassed boyfriend who made room for us again and let us go back to our place on the bar.
Yeeeah~ I might be short and calm usually, but I just don't tolerate bullshit and I show it. :P
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A couple of years ago, i was in 6th form college on a catering course. There was a guy there called Glenn and he was a really big try-hard.
Always telling tall tales, always talking back to the supervisors, and always turning up in giant Gothic boots and acting like he was a badass.
One day, while we were all getting changed into our respective waiter/chef uniforms in the locker room, Glenn bumped into me as he was walking past.
He then looked at the wrist cuff on his shirt, noticed that his gold link was missing, and then he turned around and got all up in my face.
Considering how quickly it happened, i'm surprised that i managed to keep my cool.Him: "You fucking broke my cuff!"
Me: "Damn, sorry about that."
Him (gets closer): "That was my Grandma's, dick head! Why'd you do that?"
Me: "Calm down, it was an accident. YOU'RE the one who bumped into ME."
Him (with a wild look in his eye): "I'll fucking knock you out, prick!"
Me (keeping eye contact while looking as stern and calm as possible): "Calm. The fuck. Down."(a few moments of silence)
Him: "Haha, I was only joking mate!" (laughs it off and leaves the room)
Nobody at the place liked him, so the people who were left in the room with me starting applauding me for not taking his shit.
He was all bark and no bite, which was ultimately proved just by standing my ground against him.
I was standing in the perfect position to smash his head against the lockers if he decided to initiate a fight, to teach him about finishing fights that he starts.
But luckily for him (and probably for me), he backed out.Barely a few weeks later, he broke the potwash machine by slamming the cover down too hard, and then he got kicked off the course for refusing to pay the repair cost.
Good riddance to the Grade A douchebag, lol. -
Well, there was that time I took several people in my 1st Grade class hostage, but that was more than twenty-five years ago. I don't get up to that kind of hijinks these days. Too damned old.
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One while in a drunken-stupor, I got into a fight with an old-style TV and decided to try punching the screen out. Needless to say, the TV won, I ended up knocking the last two knuckles in my right hand down into like my hand region. Had to have surgery with metal poles sticking out of two gaping holes in my hand, then when I got those out I had to wear a cast for a second time to let the holes heal up. I thought I was cool and removed the cast early, the holes got wickedly infected, had to have surgery again, to drain-said infection out. This was years ago, but now-a-days I have a sweet scar and my hand aches when it's cold out. I'm also told I'll have awful arthritis when I'm older.
Moral of the story? DO NOT PUNCH HARD STUFF WHEN DRUNK AND ANGRY!
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One while in a drunken-stupor, I got into a fight with an old-style TV and decided to try punching the screen out. Needless to say, the TV won, I ended up knocking the last two knuckles in my right hand down into like my hand region. Had to have surgery with metal poles sticking out of two gaping holes in my hand, then when I got those out I had to wear a cast for a second time to let the holes heal up. I thought I was cool and removed the cast early, the holes got wickedly infected, had to have surgery again, to drain-said infection out. This was years ago, but now-a-days I have a sweet scar and my hand aches when it's cold out. I'm also told I'll have awful arthritis when I'm older.
Moral of the story? DO NOT PUNCH HARD STUFF WHEN DRUNK AND ANGRY!
Someone in my college class punched one of those metal shutters when he was drunk because 'it started a fight with him'.
He broke his pinky.
And he wouldn't stop whining about it.
I didn't feel sorry for him, especially now when he keeps telling me to get back in the kitchen.
I keep telling him to make his own damned food.
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When I was in high school we were playing football in this local park field. There were about 16 people so 8v8, and the other teams QB and I had huge ego clashes. We were both about evenly match'd all the frekin time, the winner simply was who's team had the best cooperation. The problem is he kept tossing the ball over the line of scrimmage, and technically it was considered a pass. The problem was that there was barely a person length worth of space, so it was hardly unrealistic to stop it.
Of course I call him out on it, after about 4th time, saying how that's just flat out unfair since we don't have linebackers classhing in the middle to attempt to stop that. He then decides to spit in my face, where my natural reaction is to hack up a nice gooey piece of saliva and spit it. This was followed up with him punching me in the chin. At this point, I was mad, he could see that all this did was cross a moral line with me and I was about to rip his skin off and wear it as a cape. Unfortunately he's faster than me, so he ran in circles. I eventually hit him square back in the head with the football.
Fast forward two weeks, our community started to get into boxing, so we started holding wee tournaments. I wasn't the strongest but by far the most durable. I went through 4 people twice, where the same friend who spit on me, didn't want to even fight once. Eventually we convinced him to give me a try because I was so worn out, of course he knocks me out in like 2 hits. It was all fun though and everyone was happy we got him to at least fight.
Fast forward a week, I catch him on the bus bragging to his crush about how he just kicked my ass and that "I feel bad embarrassing him like that" in a smug way mind you. So I essentially "Sup, I want a rematch down at xxx's house, he's got the gloves, do you got the balls?". Of course cocky he obliges, and half the bus gets off (our communities are all in walkig distance really), to watch. We got the gloves on, and he swings, and I take the hit, you hear a large bellowing "oohhhhh". That quickly went with a "woah" when I retiliated with my left hand to his forehead, knocking him on his ass. At this point he's kind of dumstruck and went defensive, had his guard up and I couldn't break it, so I made myself open where he swung a left shot, and I decked him right in the nose, breaking it.
We don't talk anymore.
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I once slapped a kid that was trying to bullying me. he was something like dunno 12 years old. he and his friends (3 other kids) were trying to fuck up other travellers on the train I coincindentally was in. Well, they walked though the train carriage throwing words at the passengers feeling all mighty because they were a group. When they reached me I ignored them and continued reading my shit, the moment that he tried to force me to answer him (by taking my book away) I stood up and slapped him right in his baby face. He started crying immediatly. I was sure the others would engage me, so my body was ready to throw a shitload of slaps but sadly they all run away like the little children they were.
I fealt so great for having been given the legimate chance to slap a kid.
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Saw a guy harrasing a girl trying to steal her wallet. I Kicked him in the balls , he ran away and I got a kiss from the girl
That was an awesome moment~
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