It happened in a dark, smelly back room in a dark, smelly bar in some dark, smelly town on some dark, smelly night. That night, the whiskey tasted like watered-down horse piss and the drunks at the pool table smelled like watered-down horse piss. The bartender was swell enough to lend us our own private room. It wasn't the best room, but it was better than the noise and smell out in the main room. Here we had total concentration.
She moved her rook to E-5. My queen wanted to take the bastard out but her smug little bishop kept its eyes on me, daring me to go there. If I was any more drunk, I probably would've walked right into her trap.
She poured another shot and handed me the glass. Was this our fifteenth? Sixteenth? I think I lost count at eleven. The booze was starting to cloud my judgment a bit, but I wasn't drunk. No. Not yet. Neither was she.
She had a gut of iron and a mouth like a sailor, but she was a smart one. But that hardly needed to be said. She was one of Luffy's and one of the best navigators around. Might be she was as smart as me, I really couldn't tell ya. At that point, all that mattered was the game.
"Check," she grinned, her face brimming with confidence.
I was blinded by the booze, it seemed. She had my king stuck between a rook, a queen, and a knight. The only move I could make was to sacrifice my queen. From then on, she was merciless. She had me every which way but loose.
But she was oblivious to it all. She took my last knight when I had her… right in my trap.
"Checkmate," I beamed with pride, downing my twenty-fourth or twenty-seventh shot of whiskey.
"Whaaaaaaat?" she asked drunkenly. "There's... there's no wayyyyy!"
"Give it up, dollface," I smirked as I took a drag of my smoke. "You fell for it, look, sine, and hinker!"
"Get outta here!" she barked in rage, knocking the chess table over, spilling the rest of our good times on the floor with it. "Alright, bastard, get your gun!"
She drew her strange weather staff from under her skirt and moved to hit me with it. I drew my rifle and parried her attack.
"Now, now, missy, I should warn you," I said as a spat my half-smoked cigarette clear across the room. "I ain't gonna go easy on you jus' 'cause you're purty."
"Shut up and die, old man!" she slurred. "I know you cheated."
At least she was sober enough to know the truth.
"I'm a pirate," I replied. "I ain't no saint."
"Good," she smirked, dropping the drunken act, prompting me to drop mine. "'Cause I'm sending you straight to hell!"
submitted by Kitsune Inferno